Naked Neighbour

Supper time last night, I knocked on the door of my across the hall neighbour, waiting, holding a very heavy bass guitar. After almost five minutes, I gave up and put the instrument back into the darkness of my apartment. His door opened finally, him standing there hiding behind the door, obviously naked.

Neighbour-:"Oh, was that you knocking just now?"  he ducked in for a second and put on a pair of shorts.

Me-:"The guitar..." I held it up not knowing what to say, or where to look. He's really sexy, not in the typical underwear model or anything, I mean he'll never be Mad Hatter or Werewolf King or anything, but...he's got charisma.  I really don't want to think what he was doing that took so long to answer the door, or whom he might have been doing it with.

Neighbour-:"Friday. Pay day."

Me-:"Won't be here Friday. Movers are coming in the morning. I have to hand in the keys by 11:30pm Thursday."

He took the bass looking it over, then smirked at me over the edge of the neck of it. I seriously had to turn away for a few seconds, ended up checking out his tattoos; as he started to smooth his fingers over the curves of it before handing it back.

Neighbour-:"But you'll be around till then right?" he rubbed at his face, licking his lips.

Me-:"I couldn't find the amp. I think my ex-boyfriend might have run off with it few years back."

He cleared his throat then, turning to face me, his shoulder brushing against mine. I stumbled backwards, blushing. What the hell is it with this guy?  I honestly thought for a split second that he was going to hug me or something. Which of course he did not. Just stood there a few seconds too long, swinging the door opened and closed, his skull against the wall.

Neighbour-:"Well, don't sell it before Friday okay?"

Me-:"Uh...okay. Just have to see how the end of the week goes..." 

He nodded, his eyes sparkling and once again, I had to turn to look anywhere but his face.  I can't remember the last time a man had that sort of affect on me? It's been years.
This is bad, very very bad. By the end of the week, I'll be completely moved out, and I still don't know if he's got a girlfriend. But damn, he was flirting just enough...

Weigh in on that

"Where's your boyfriend?"  Uncle M. asked me as he fired up the drill once again. He was putting the blinds up for me in the new apartment this afternoon.

Me-:"Don't have one right now."

He laughed, mumbling something I didn't catch as he started up the drill again, realizing he'd hung the bracket upside down.

Uncle M.-:"Well...well, what do you mean you don't have a boyfriend? Eh? Your cousin just started seeing someone from work there...you're not seeing anyone because why? She's larger then you and she has no problem getting guys. So don't think you have to let that stop you."

Nice to see that's the first thing that everyone jumps at. My lack of a love life comes back to the jabba-the-hut factor.

Me-:"Uh...well..."   I seriously didn't have an answer for that.

Uncle M. -:"Go ask that guy out there to go out." he laughed again pointing the drill towards the window. "He's been looking in here at you for the last five minutes."

Me-:"That's because we're standing right in the window and he's the grounds keeper. We're like in his way if the window wasn't there."   Poor guy, on his knees in front of the window trying to plant trees and all he's got to stare at is us. "Besides, he's married."

Uncle M. -:"Oh you've talked to him?"

Me-:"No. He's got a wedding ring on."   My uncle laughed again, mumbling something about not letting that stop me and decided that he measured the length of the window wrong.   "Besides, that guy, so not my type."

Uncle M. -:"Type? That's a cop out. Okay so what's your type? See if I know anyone."

Me-:"Uh...I prefer younger, pale, short hair, nice arms, athletic but not too sculptured..."  he looked at me from the corner of his eye.

Uncle M. -:"What's that suppose to mean? Athletic but not too sculptured?"

Me-:"Like a natural looking, not overly pumped up. Funny, my kind of funny."

Uncle M. -:"Sounds like you've got someone in mind. You sure you don't have a boyfriend?" he laughed again.  That giggle of nervousness seems to run in the family as both my cousin Walsh and one of my female cousins do that all the time too.

Me-:"There hasn't been anyone in awhile." I suddenly felt dizzy for a brief second, like when you are in an elevator and you have that jolt when you reach your floor. "I just know what I'm looking for. Nothing wrong with that."

He shrugged closing the blinds to make sure he'd done it right. "Just don't let yourself wait too long. Don't want to end up alone like your mother." He nodded, grabbed his measuring tape and nodded again happy with his work. "Just sounds like to me you've got someone in mind."

post it note 21st july 2014

Dear Herman:

+30C here with a humidex of +42C.  Yeah, that's unbearable.  Hope wherever you are, it's air conditioned.

Saw the ppv last night, and was less then impressed by the way the storyline between Mad Hatter and Rebel without a Cause was done.  I wanted a match not just...anyways...I imagine you checking in tonight, a cigarette in hand...don't know why I suddenly think you are a smoker just do. 
Dressed in a pair of grey shorts and t-shirt. I think you have a super sized iced tea in front of you and are reading the sports pages online. Like, a randomness of scores and stuff from some sports channel website. That sentence made perfect sense, it's your buddy looking over your shoulder reading that just didn't get it.

So I'm off to watch tonight's wrestling and maybe work on a art project...need to clear my mind and relax from the chaos that is this move.  Smooth it's not.

And as always...smile, smirk and snarl.

post it note july something

Dear Herman:
It's +28C here tonight. I don't work well in this type of heat. Anything more then +17C is too much for my blood.

Anyways, hi. Thought I would drop a post it just because.  So...I imagine you checking in tonight, dressed in plaid.  Plaid shorts, plaid shirt and...superhero comic pattern t-shirt. The wire rimmed glasses I think you wear, chewing on your bottom lip. I think you've got an extra large iced coffee in front of you and a burger. I think you've got a double bacon cheese burger with pickles and chilli fries. With extra onions.  And I also think that you are listening to a new batch of songs that might just be very similar to some I was few days ago.

And with that...smile smirk and snarl.

July 16th 2014

Remember when you were in high school and there was always that one person, usually a chick who was just a total nit of a troublemaker?   Well, That would be Tarot Lady.
Was at the bus stop, waiting in the way too hot sun, when she spotted me and came over to where I was. The same thing she's been complaining about now for months, how Timothy is stealing her clients and tarot spread.  Okay word of note, you can't "steal" a tarot spread, even if it is your favourite spread that has become a semi-trademark in your group.
Anyways, she was leaning in way too close to me, breathing on me as she "whispered" that he was out to get her, because "he's gotten really deep into all that witchcraft." 

Tarot Lady continued tell inform me that she's being forced out of the apartment building because someone called the health department claiming she had bed bugs.

EEWWW!

I cringe as I even think about it. She blamed that on one of the ladies who lives in the apartment just below her on the main floor. Someone who's never been in her apartment.

Life is never truly dull, even when you think it is. Weird, petty even, but never dull.

post it note Monday night

Dear Herman:

Have you been watching the highway, avoiding the big moose?  Don't forget to get out of the way of the stray elk and beavers.

Actually watching the show tonight, at mom's where I've left my computer this week. Decided to cut the internet at the old apartment before the hook up date for it at the new one. How totally unthinking of me.

Anyways, I imagine you checking in tonight, an ice-cream bar in hand, the kind with the nuts and chocolate coating. Dressed in dark jeans and a yellow t-shirt, and those wire rimmed glasses.  Glasses are sexy. Books are too.

That about sums it up for now.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Saturday July 5th

I went to the grocery on the way back from mom's last night, Storm was working and he asked me how it was going with the move.  I just kind of slumped there exhausted.

Me-:"Long process. All the moving companies in this town are owned by the same guy. And I can't afford his rates."

Storm-:"Rent a u-haul."

Me-:"Looks like I'm going to have to. But even then, I need to find someone who can drive and has a buddy to help."

Storm-:"You don't drive? Me either otherwise I'd help. I had the same issue last year when I moved. Everyone was all like, when you need me I'll be totally able to help, then when it was moving day, everyone suddenly disappeared. Total struggle."

Me-:"And that's what I'm dealing with now. Not too mention half my stuff just won't fit, I need to massively downsize so like 90% of my stuff will have to be sent to the dump. That's going to cost more then the actual move."

Storm-:"Life sucks."  he got called into the back storage room then.