What's sex got to do with it?

In episode 52 from season 4 of Sex and the City called  What's Sex Got to do with It?  Carrie is dating a guy with no attention span, Samantha is dating a woman, Charlotte has to deal with Trey only wanting sex and Miranda has a new addiction to chocolate.  The question of the week is "What comes first the chicken or the sex?"
It's an episode where two of the girls are having sex hoping to turn them into full relationships and one of them is having a relationship without sex hoping to turn it into a sexual one.  Where as Samantha can communicate for the first time about her sexual/relationship desires, neither Charlotte nor Carrie can seem to.

I was once told by a former friend Rita, that all I write is smut. This was said as she threw one of my manuscripts across the room.
That was the last time I let her read any of my work.  That was over ten years ago, and the story I had written wasn't even about sex, it was about relationships and the way people use power in the relationships to get what they want. She just happened to get to the one sex scene in the first half of the story.  
{I used to write two per manuscript, one near the first half, and one at the end. The format made very popular back twenty-five years ago in romance novels. }

Romance. Relationships and yes, sometimes sex. They go hand in hand and are not always pretty or comfortable.  Sometimes you find yourself having one wishing to add the other, sometimes you find yourself wondering how you got the bit you managed. 

But this morning as I was writing a few pages on what could be a new manuscript, I started to think about that day. There was a power struggle in our so-called friendship that I didn't see until years later. Rita liked the idea of having me around because I didn't talk back.  I didn't stand up to her. {The woman had been thrown out of more taverns then I can count, for bar fights when we were younger.}

That day all those years ago, I don't think the fact I had written a semi-graphic sex scene really had anything to do with it. I think it had more to do with the fact I had the guts to write something like that.  Something that made Rita feel uncomfortable, and possibly shifting the power between us.

And you might be thinking how does this tie into the SATC episode?
It's about having the guts to express what you need/desire in a relationship.  When it comes to relationships or friendships of any kind, if you're not getting your needs met there is always an imbalance; leaving one person feeling a bit sheepish. You have to stick up for what you want. In the episode there is a line uttered by Charlotte saying "Why can't I have both the sex and the relationship why does it have to be one or the other?" In another scene she finally has the guts to tell Trey how she feels and starts screaming about how she is married to him not his penis. For her, it wasn't about the sex it was about feeling used. That becomes the point in the series where the power shifts from Trey to Charlotte who up till that point has always been the shy girl who just goes along with everything everyone else wants to do.

Dirty Laundry 11

It was a not so great night, part to do with a conversation my mother had with my sister.  She was upset and somewhere between tears and anger.
I've decided that my sister and brother-in-law are a non-existing topic. I'm done with them and their mood swings.  Needless to say, my sister and I have not spoken in a month.
After about a half hour of the phone call with my mother I started to get distracted and turned on a wrestling DVD.  Mother made a comment about how loud the DVD was as she could hear it over the phone.

"Not him again!"  was her reaction to hearing the theme song for The Celebrity.

Me-: "Always. I actually haven't watched this one in months. There was a bit of dust on the cover." 

Mother-: "I just don't understand how you can watch something over and over again? Specially your little skunk man. I just don't see what it is you find so great about him? He's like a little kid with his finger up his nose, hands everywhere...like he can't sit still."

What can I say...sometimes, you just want to see a hot guy with his hand down his pants.

While on the topic of The Celebrity, I got asked the other night by a friend of Nura's,  how The Celebrity found out about me and my writing to begin with.  I'm fairly sure it has to do with the fact I wrote about company #4 back about five and a half years ago and one of the wrestlers had seen it. That particular wrestler is no longer alive, but I know they worked in company #3 around the same time.
He then asked me what would I do if I had to choose between The Celebrity and my Mr. Scratchy.  I told him that I really didn't see that as being an issue. 

Play that song again

Seems, I was not fast enough last night with my blog post.  I had just hit the publish button and saw in my stats that there had been a hit while I was writing.  Now I know why Mr. Scratchy, I had the intense feeling that I was racing the clock with that overnight post.

Then, I was unable to sleep which has become a horrible pattern with me.  And to add to it, I had an old Bon Jovi song playing over and over and over in my mind.
The song was so clear that I actually checked the hallway to see if anyone in the building was up with their stereo on.   None.  Peaked out the windows to see if anyone was in the parking lot but nothing.  There was no reason for me to be hearing this song the way I was.

Okay, this means that either the universe is up to something or I'm getting really bad cabin fever from having to stay inside with my broken foot.

The song was "She Don't Know Me"   and it literally just kept replaying in my mind until I did finally drift off to sleep around 3:30am.   This morning I had to hunt down the video online and watch it a few times to sort of get the song out of my head.
One of those old 1980's videos that don't make a lot of sense.  There's Bon Jovi dreaming about and following his ideal girl, while the girl next door is dreaming about him following him around, and at the end of the video; you see his confusion as he looks from one to the other.    Never really sure if the video was meaning that they were twins, or one was a doppleganger or if its a metaphor for him wanting the ideal and realizing that the plain girl was also his ideal?  That they are the same girl?

See universe might be up to something... or dare I even say that my soulmate was listening to that song late last night?  Who knows?

Dear love

It's the middle of the night, and I've just spent more time then I should have trying to figure out what was suppose to be the latest post and it sits in draft.
Mr. Scratchy, I feel like this is a race with the clock to get something on here before you check in.
As I sit in my pajamas fending off the cold, I ask you how your night was as I'm sure you're just winding down.
I hope your day/evening went well and hope to some day hear a reply.  In any case, sweet dreams Mr. Scratchy.

The return of IMG almost

Some of you might remember me telling you about a introduction gone sour a year ago.  It ended up being a few calls and emails that ended in me being stood up.

I received an email last night from the International Model Guy.  He talked about how he couldn't wait to see me and how he was sorry for not calling.
I was shocked to see the message and suspicious to say the lest about the whole thing last year.  Did he honestly think I would be over joyed to hear from him now?

I emailed back saying how I was surprised to hear from him. 
He emailed back a half hour later saying the message was for another girl, he'd forgotten her last name and sent the message to both her and me because we both had the same first name.  Then had the nerve to say maybe if he's free over the holidays he'd call me anyway. 

My first reaction a year ago about him being a dick was wrong.  He's worse. 

Are there any decent men left out there?

Stolen Moments vol 2

It's quiet here.  Can hear the birds outside of the windows even though they are closed.  Can see the light curls of grey from the clouds.
It's one of those mornings that will most likely lead itself into a light snow.  The shade of grey that you see when you puff out a candle.
The kind of morning that most people like to share with someone, talking quietly about their day or making plans for their next vacation.

This is me, Mr. Scratchy; sharing my morning with you.  Wherever you are right now.

Deal breakers vs Dealing

"I think you should just start dating again. You're driving me mental which means you are driving me mental." Nura said in an email.

My reply -:"Dating involves having to shave your legs daily and bikini area, making sure your eyebrows are plucked, it involves smelling fabulous even when you've been sweating, it involves having at lest three great outfits for the dates, one being up-chic casual for afternoons of errands just in case you bump into someone who might be a potential date, it involves having your make-up and hair done all the time, it involves making sure you have brand new matching bra and underwear usually in lace and having enough money at all times for drinks, movies and cabs home as well as condoms.   Honestly, I just do not have the energy or time for that kind of production." 

Nura emailed back that maybe I should date a few guys anyway to 1- help get out of my rut and 2 - think of it as research for the column.

Am I in a rut?  Here I thought I was just tried of wasting time on men I wasn't interested in.

All I know for sure is that Thursday night between 9pm till after 10:30pm {EST} I was scratching the right side of my body like madness. {Mr. Scratchy ...}

In season 3 of Sex and the City {episode 35 called No Ifs, Ands, or Butts } the question of the week is "In relationships, what are the deal breakers?"
It's the episode where we're introduced to Aidan, the man Carrie nearly marries.

I've been thinking about this question a lot as of late.  For me if I'm not getting butterflies from the thought of the guy then there is no point.  Butterflies are my big deal breaker.
To be honest, the only two men as of the last year to give me butterflies are The Celebrity and the DoubleStarr.
Two famous men on tv.  Talk about flying without a parachute.