Why is it, even when we know better, we do really stupid things?
I've been home sick with a horrible head cold, sneezing, snotting, coughing, watery eyes, headache etc. So I've been kicking back and hanging out on facebook today. Chatting with a few of the new people who've come into my life in the last few months. Aka, the local witches and drag queens. All was going fine, you know covered in snot but otherwise normal, when bam! There he is. My ex. Not just any of the guys I've been dumb enough to get involved with, but THE EX. His picture keeps popping up.
You have 5 mutual friends.
5 mutual friends. Why is the universe doing that? And why oh god am I stupid enough to check out his page? That's the real question right? Can I just blame it on the snotty kleenex and cold pills? No, just checking.
So his page is half loaded when I hit the close tab button. Like a teenaged girl dialing her crush and hanging up. That's how I feel right now. Not that I think teenaged girls bother dialing the crushes and hanging up now a days. Now a days, I'm fairly sure they just stalk them on twitter or instawhateverishotnow. Sending them naked photos of themselves. It takes guts to be a teenaged girl in today's instant digital world. Dude, I had it so easy back in the stone ages. You could only be rejected one of two ways, by phone or in person. And your friends only found out about it if they were there when it happened or you cried to them afterwards. Now, everybody knows instantly. And if they check their instawhateverishotnow before you, there's a high chance they know even before you do.
Sunday, June 5, 2016
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Queens and Nones
There was a knock on the window just after 8pm last night. My cousin Walsh was there with a tray of take-away coffee. We haven't talked or hung out in months. Figured he was pissed at me or something. Letting him in the building, he seemed good. Calm. Handing me one of the coffees he took a seat in the kitchen. Said nothing, just sat there for a few minutes. He noticed a flyer that was half way sticking out of my purse.
Walsh-: "Burlesque dancers and drag queens?" he motioned to it.
Me-:"Yeah uh-huh." I sipped the coffee, it was way too sweet. "Yeah how many sugars did you add to it?"
Walsh-:"Triple triple just like you always have it."
Me-:"Walsh, I don't have sugar in my coffee." He blinked a few times, this look on his face tears pooling. It hit me, his sister used to take triple in hers. He must have ordered out of habit and hence the drive by coffee-ing. He wasn't here to be here, he was here because he didn't know what else to do. "Yeah, burlesque dancers and drag queens. I fit right in don't you think?" I was trying to keep the mood light, but it didn't work. He got up went to the bathroom for a few minutes, and I could hear him sniffing a lot. He came back to the kitchen table.
Walsh-:"Can I get a reading?"
Me-:"Reading won't help. It will just come up with all the bad cards because you're thinking about crappy stuff." He got up walked around my tiny apartment, stopping in front of a photo of our grandparents. It sits on an altar, he disrupted my altar. I had no idea how to make him feel better? A hug seemed inappropriate. I caught the look he gave my ouija board. Saw him start to grab for one of the little talismans I had sitting beside the incense burner. I'm pretty sure I knew what he was going to ask next. But he didn't. He surprised me, just stood there smiling at everything before putting down the photo again. Then he did what he's always done when things are too heavy, he brought in the silly.
Walsh-:"This cause of the new boyfriend?" he meant the flyer
Me-:"Don't let him hear you say that. It's the cosmic joke in stereo."
I've met this guy recently, he's everything I've been looking for in a man. Brown eyes, jet black hair, in his 30's, loves the same music and tv shows and books and movies I do. Vegetarian and a witch. His birth name is even Johnathan. The big kicker is, he's gay. Gayest gay man I've ever met. Heartbreakingly so. The universe is kicking my arse 24/7 with this one. I don't know if the universe is saying here what you're looking for in life exists keep the faith, or if it's telling me to quit while I'm ahead? He keeps inviting me to his drag shows.
Walsh-:"No doubt."
Me-:"It's a witch thing. Seriously, the witchy group in the area are two types, the Wiccan moms and the gay guys. Tell me which one makes more sense for me to hang with?"
He shook his head snorting at me. "I see your theory. You got the one sports channel now right? Like I can watch the one here?" he was scratching at his hand mindlessly searching my bookshelf for the tv remote. "Company #3 is on isn't it?"
Me-:"Not for another few hours. You want me to leave it in the machine for you?" He shook his head yawning.
Walsh-:"Na, they repeat it like ten times in the week. I'm good. I'll be good." he turned towards me suddenly eyes wide. "Better go. The stairs coming in smelled like piss and dirty clothes."
Me-:"yeah, I never touch the railings bare handed."
Walsh-: "Burlesque dancers and drag queens?" he motioned to it.
Me-:"Yeah uh-huh." I sipped the coffee, it was way too sweet. "Yeah how many sugars did you add to it?"
Walsh-:"Triple triple just like you always have it."
Me-:"Walsh, I don't have sugar in my coffee." He blinked a few times, this look on his face tears pooling. It hit me, his sister used to take triple in hers. He must have ordered out of habit and hence the drive by coffee-ing. He wasn't here to be here, he was here because he didn't know what else to do. "Yeah, burlesque dancers and drag queens. I fit right in don't you think?" I was trying to keep the mood light, but it didn't work. He got up went to the bathroom for a few minutes, and I could hear him sniffing a lot. He came back to the kitchen table.
Walsh-:"Can I get a reading?"
Me-:"Reading won't help. It will just come up with all the bad cards because you're thinking about crappy stuff." He got up walked around my tiny apartment, stopping in front of a photo of our grandparents. It sits on an altar, he disrupted my altar. I had no idea how to make him feel better? A hug seemed inappropriate. I caught the look he gave my ouija board. Saw him start to grab for one of the little talismans I had sitting beside the incense burner. I'm pretty sure I knew what he was going to ask next. But he didn't. He surprised me, just stood there smiling at everything before putting down the photo again. Then he did what he's always done when things are too heavy, he brought in the silly.
Walsh-:"This cause of the new boyfriend?" he meant the flyer
Me-:"Don't let him hear you say that. It's the cosmic joke in stereo."
I've met this guy recently, he's everything I've been looking for in a man. Brown eyes, jet black hair, in his 30's, loves the same music and tv shows and books and movies I do. Vegetarian and a witch. His birth name is even Johnathan. The big kicker is, he's gay. Gayest gay man I've ever met. Heartbreakingly so. The universe is kicking my arse 24/7 with this one. I don't know if the universe is saying here what you're looking for in life exists keep the faith, or if it's telling me to quit while I'm ahead? He keeps inviting me to his drag shows.
Walsh-:"No doubt."
Me-:"It's a witch thing. Seriously, the witchy group in the area are two types, the Wiccan moms and the gay guys. Tell me which one makes more sense for me to hang with?"
He shook his head snorting at me. "I see your theory. You got the one sports channel now right? Like I can watch the one here?" he was scratching at his hand mindlessly searching my bookshelf for the tv remote. "Company #3 is on isn't it?"
Me-:"Not for another few hours. You want me to leave it in the machine for you?" He shook his head yawning.
Walsh-:"Na, they repeat it like ten times in the week. I'm good. I'll be good." he turned towards me suddenly eyes wide. "Better go. The stairs coming in smelled like piss and dirty clothes."
Me-:"yeah, I never touch the railings bare handed."
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