Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy 2012

Everyone have a very safe and happy night as you make your way into the new year.

Meanwhile in the dark

My new neighbours started their New Year's a few days early. The hallway in our building smells like beer now. 

So here I am just after 7:30 am, the sun still has not risen, the traffic outside only started, and I've got the kettle on for coffee.  You can see the frost on the windows in a pattern that looks like iced webs.

Okay Mr. Scratchy,  I just wanted to say morning and wish you lovely day. Kiss your forehead and send you to work/the gym/to play hockey/shovel snow  or whatever you are doing this morning.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Tidbit 30th Dec

Ever notice that spammers really want you to have sex?
I was just checking my emails, and am one of those who checks the junk/spam file every day to make sure nothing fell in there that should have been in the inbox; and there was bunches of spam mail for sex.
Viagra, hooking up, enlargers, etc. 

Do the dregs of the internet know something us mere mortals and bloggers don't? 

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Put out the light then put out thee light

I'm up wide away with another round of insomnia.  And in between getting a bit done on the new story, I've been unable to stop thinking about the movie Othello.  
I watched it yesterday.  It's a movie I used to love but haven't seen in years.   Here you have a story written a few hundred years ago about how easily love can get twisted up for all the wrong reasons.  Desdemona is the epitome of innocence and faithfulness, yet she is the one to blame for an adultery that never even happens.  All because Iago is jealous of her new husband Othello.

Because of his own trusting nature, he's led into a paranoid delusion that spirals downward until driven to murder.  It is very possibly the most tragic and desperate of anything every written by Shakespeare.

Here we are faced with the idea that a man could love so deeply that just the mere thought that his wife could even be talking to another man in secret sends him into seizures.

What it brings to mind is everything from how deeply romantic the idea that love and lust could be that strong to the other end of the spectrum, which is how easily some people are to being abusive.  Cause let's face it,  Othello thou the victim of an evil plot still in the end kills his wife.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Dec 27th

I had started writing a new manuscript this afternoon, inspired by an old match involving The Other Guy and The Celebrity.  8 pages, the most of anything I've written in over a year.  Not much in the long run, but progress none the less.
In between I've been scratching the right side of my body {it went on for more then 45minutes}

Also, I confessed elsewhere about a vision I had few nights ago.   A dark outline of a man playing with a dog.  I've read about other people having cryptic visions/dreams just before meeting their soulmates. I'm wondering ... 

Monday, December 26, 2011

Mindless Monday 26th

"You screwed up on that quote. It's crusted like a wornout penthouse"   Nura pointed out to me earlier.

Me-: "Yes, I realized my mistake after I'd done the post.  Like two hours afterwards and it was too late to fix the title. Oh well, seems I suck." I scratched at the right side of my face for a moment like a dog with fleas. "I had a bit of an aha moment."

Nura-: "Lay it on me."

Me-: "I can date any type of guy on the planet as long as it's not another wrestler. Which blows because wrestlers are what I am attracted to the most."

Nura-: "Um okay. Waiting for the punch line just sock it to me."

Me-: "Okay there then.  No, seriously; and this is the downer of it.  I can't date wrestlers. Even if by some crazy chance at some future wrestling event I caught the eye of one, I wouldn't be allowed to date him cause it would be wrong. Considering the whole thing with Mr. Scratchy."

Nura: -"I still don't understand."

Me-: "We can agree at lest, that Mr. Scratchy is a wrestler right?"

Nura-: "Uh-huh."

Me-: "Right. So dating any other wrestler would be like cheating with his brother. Understand now?"

Nura-: "Does he have a brother?"

Me-:"You're not getting it are you?"

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Like a crusted Penthouse

There was a bit of a commotion in the hallway about a half hour ago.  Doors slamming, people screaming and running up and down the stairs.  So I went to see what was happening. 
The new neighbours were having a fight.  And just as I was closing my door to come back into my hovel of an apartment, this kid came scampering out of their apartment across the hall with something in his hand. 
I heard a man's voice screaming at him to get back inside.  Then he came to the doorway to collect the kid. 
The kid couldn't have been more then about 3 years old, and was standing there in a pair of blue pajamas with little reindeer on them.  In his hand was a magazine.  He dropped it as the man - I'm guessing his dad- picked him up.   The magazine fell open on the floor.
The guy went four shades of red and snatched up the magazine tossing it into that apartment not looking at me.

A song by Artificial Joy Club is where the quote "like a crusted penthouse" is from. I thought it was more then fitting.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Friday Night

I find myself sitting here listening to the sound of cars in the muck and snow outside as people rush off to their last minute shopping or to the airport or what have you.

Decided it was a perfect night to watch a few episodes of Charmed.  I find myself oddly connecting to the character of Phoebe mid-series after she gets the newspaper job.

And you my cream-filled blog readers are nodding saying that of course I would identify with that character.  As she takes on a very SATC Carrie Bradshaw quality. 

Here's the big difference between me and them... besides the fact they are both fictional characters on very very popular televisions shows... they had a support group to get them through their rough patches.  Charmed had the sisters and Sex and the City had the best friends.

This is one of those nights where I'm trying to be all witty and make the post connect with something, but I'm just going to lay my heart on the typewriter.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

What's a man when there are mountains

"Why do you think Mr. Scratchy hasn't contacted you yet?"

The famous question.  This time it came from Nura's husband.  I don't have an answer.  I have theories, lots and lots of theories but no real answer.  Both Nura and her husband Earnan believe that Mr. Scratchy is too nervous.   I laughed at that one.

Earnan-: "Okay, well then why won't you message the guy from the dating site that we think would be perfect for you?"

Me-: "Because he's gorgeous.  I have no idea how a man that good looking would need a dating site." I answered looking at the link they sent me.

Earnan-: "You think he's hot?"

Me-: "Uh yeah. I'm betting he's got an overflowing inbox of offers. There's no point in me even trying."

Earnan made a grunting sound then shook his head at the webcam. "So you think that you can't measure up to the other women who might be talking to him?"

Nura-: "His profile says he's divorced."

Me-: "What's that got to do with anything?"

She shrugged.

Earnan-: "How do you know your Mr. Scratchy isn't thinking the same thing?"

Me-:" That this guy is way too hot and most likely has an overflowing inbox and therefore I don't stand a chance? Do I even want to know what you are doing looking around a dating site?"

Nura laughed and said no then laughed again.  "I was checking out this guy Tammy is hot for and spotted this other guy and your name came into my mind.  I think this one is totally perfect for you."

Earnan-:"No that he can't measure up. Mr. Scratchy I mean. And you didn't answer my question."

Me-: "I'm trying not to."

Nura-:"This guy's profile says he's 34." 

Earnan-:"Do you or do you not think it is possible that he's not coming forward because..." he pointed at the webcam with the biggest shit eating grin and said "...because you think he's the best thing since sliced bread? That's a lot of pressure."

Nura-: "Isn't it the greatest thing since slice bread... not best?"

Me-: "Yeah it is. Greatest thing.  One of the bread companies obviously came up with that.  I like that speech in the movie Julie/Julia with the  toast saying she's the butter to his bread.  I cried the first few times I saw that part.  Then they use it again at the end of the film for the other ones."

Nura-: "So you going to message this guy on the dating site or do I have to do it for you?"

Me-: "No! Don't even think about it. So you're saying you think that Mr. Scratchy, my Mr. Scratchy is a chicken?"

Nura-: "Maybe not a chicken... okay yeah. We think that he's just afraid. Afraid he'll disappoint you."

Me-: "That's so wrong.  Turkey maybe but not a chicken."

Earnan-: "What's the difference?"

Me-: "Turkey's are usually free range birds that are large and have that thingie on their beaks called a snood... I think it's on their beaks and not on their throats. Do not make me google I hate googling."

Nura-: "What the hell are you going  on about?"

Me-: "You know that cockscomb thingie.  It's used in stuff with the other organ meat. Cassoulet and stews and sausages."

Earnan-: "How did we go from you dating to bird parts?"

Me-: "You started it with your bread and chicken sandwiches talk there."

Nura-: "We're just saying that maybe he's afraid to step out of his comfort zone you know. "

Me-: "Cocks and peckers.   Why do chickens and other poultry have to be named after a man's penis? But yet girls are called birds and chicks in slang. Now that's something to wonder about."

Nura-: "Oh my god. Please tell me you're drunk."

Monday, December 19, 2011

Somewhere out there Dec 2011

Last night, {Sunday} between 9:15pm and 9:45pm EST, Mr. Scratchy, the right side of my body was nearly scratched off. 
Between 5:15pm and 5:45pm {tonight} not as much.  I'm guessing you were in a rush?

I suspect you are sitting there reading this as you wind down for the night, a beer in hand and an old black and white movie in the background. Cause isn't old b/w movies about all you can find this time of year? Or even a replay of the wrestling {company #1 as it's a Monday as I write this} maybe waiting for a pizza if it's not too late.
If you are reading this before your day starts in the morning, I'm thinking you have a hot coffee in hand, maybe getting ready to shovel snow if you're in a cold city, wearing a dark-grey coloured toque {wool hat} Cause a man with both his ears is a sexy thing... or getting ready to mow the lawn if you're in a southern city.

I believe that you get a laugh out of these little post-it-notes I leave on here for you.  That they bring a smile to your face. {and a shake of the head with a roll of the eyes and maybe even an "oh god woman" while you pinch the bridge of your nose}  Even if I creep you out a bit if/when I'm right about certain things.  Specially when/if I'm ever right about certain things. {I am right about the toque aren't I?}

Mr. Scratchy; you know me from my blogs inside and out. but I want to just ask you one thing.  What's you're favourite movie?   

Sunday, December 18, 2011

You've got Male 18th Dec 2011

I just logged into my emails and there was a message from someone who's email address I didn't recognize.  The message was a one liner.   

"Had you on the brain. Thought I'd say hey :) How's life?"

Took me a few minutes before I realized it was Freud.  The last guy standing so to speak way too long ago for me to want to admit to.
The reason we ended was because he admitted to having more then just me in his life. 

And he thought he'd let me know that he's single right now. 

If ever there was a moment when I wish I could say I wasn't this would be it.  {deep sigh} Mr. Scratchy, if only you were here.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Dear Love part 2

A glass of Merlot, a jazz CD, and a quiet night.
That's what I was faced with tonight.  Should have been inspirational but it wasn't.
All I could think about as I sat down to write was the missing element.  The guy I wished was here beside me.   The guy who just some how keeps me on a thread of hope.  Mr. Scratchy.
Here I am, the middle of the night once more and as usual unable to sleep.  The sounds of the neighbourhood returning from the bars and the snow plows outside.  Isn't winter a strange season?  Not even pitch dark nights and -23c can keep some people from socializing.
Nor does it keep the hookers from working, as it seems the back lane behind our building is a favourite spot for them to do so.  I can't tell you how often over the years, I've taken the trash out in the mornings to find a scattering of used condoms on the ground behind the garbage shed.
I don't know if you're catching this after you get in from your own life, a cup of tea in hand, in those pajama bottoms that I believe are plaid, maybe a faded tee with a ripped shoulder; as you wind down before bed.  Or if you are catching this in the morning first thing, with a coffee beside you, your hair sticking up, not yet shaved and undecided if you're having fruity-o's or rice crisps for breakfast. I just hope I bring a smirk to your face for a bit every day. Not a full smile, just a smirk as a smirk is more effective.  That's not totally true, I do want to bring a smile to your face.
If you are reading this before you start your day heading to work or to the gym or just out, and you find yourself suddenly hearing the Journey song  "Don't Stop Believing" you're going to laugh and smirk and think of nothing but this post.  And maybe I'll have brought a smile to your face for a bit today.
Till later Mr. Scratchy

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Love Letters of Lesser Men Vol 1

In the movie for Sex and the City,  there is a scene where Carrie and Big are curled up in bed reading from a volume called "Love Letters of Great Men"
The book comes to play later in the movie when Mr. Big is trying to express how sorry he is by copying out each letter.
This prop, did not exist outside of the movie until enough fans had been asking for it that a publishing company finally put it together.  That lends a lot to how powerful the suggestion of something like that is.

The simple love letter.

Which proves, that something that powerful is never just simple. Even when you wish it were. 

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

What's sex got to do with it?

In episode 52 from season 4 of Sex and the City called  What's Sex Got to do with It?  Carrie is dating a guy with no attention span, Samantha is dating a woman, Charlotte has to deal with Trey only wanting sex and Miranda has a new addiction to chocolate.  The question of the week is "What comes first the chicken or the sex?"
It's an episode where two of the girls are having sex hoping to turn them into full relationships and one of them is having a relationship without sex hoping to turn it into a sexual one.  Where as Samantha can communicate for the first time about her sexual/relationship desires, neither Charlotte nor Carrie can seem to.

I was once told by a former friend Rita, that all I write is smut. This was said as she threw one of my manuscripts across the room.
That was the last time I let her read any of my work.  That was over ten years ago, and the story I had written wasn't even about sex, it was about relationships and the way people use power in the relationships to get what they want. She just happened to get to the one sex scene in the first half of the story.  
{I used to write two per manuscript, one near the first half, and one at the end. The format made very popular back twenty-five years ago in romance novels. }

Romance. Relationships and yes, sometimes sex. They go hand in hand and are not always pretty or comfortable.  Sometimes you find yourself having one wishing to add the other, sometimes you find yourself wondering how you got the bit you managed. 

But this morning as I was writing a few pages on what could be a new manuscript, I started to think about that day. There was a power struggle in our so-called friendship that I didn't see until years later. Rita liked the idea of having me around because I didn't talk back.  I didn't stand up to her. {The woman had been thrown out of more taverns then I can count, for bar fights when we were younger.}

That day all those years ago, I don't think the fact I had written a semi-graphic sex scene really had anything to do with it. I think it had more to do with the fact I had the guts to write something like that.  Something that made Rita feel uncomfortable, and possibly shifting the power between us.

And you might be thinking how does this tie into the SATC episode?
It's about having the guts to express what you need/desire in a relationship.  When it comes to relationships or friendships of any kind, if you're not getting your needs met there is always an imbalance; leaving one person feeling a bit sheepish. You have to stick up for what you want. In the episode there is a line uttered by Charlotte saying "Why can't I have both the sex and the relationship why does it have to be one or the other?" In another scene she finally has the guts to tell Trey how she feels and starts screaming about how she is married to him not his penis. For her, it wasn't about the sex it was about feeling used. That becomes the point in the series where the power shifts from Trey to Charlotte who up till that point has always been the shy girl who just goes along with everything everyone else wants to do.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Dirty Laundry 11

It was a not so great night, part to do with a conversation my mother had with my sister.  She was upset and somewhere between tears and anger.
I've decided that my sister and brother-in-law are a non-existing topic. I'm done with them and their mood swings.  Needless to say, my sister and I have not spoken in a month.
After about a half hour of the phone call with my mother I started to get distracted and turned on a wrestling DVD.  Mother made a comment about how loud the DVD was as she could hear it over the phone.

"Not him again!"  was her reaction to hearing the theme song for The Celebrity.

Me-: "Always. I actually haven't watched this one in months. There was a bit of dust on the cover." 

Mother-: "I just don't understand how you can watch something over and over again? Specially your little skunk man. I just don't see what it is you find so great about him? He's like a little kid with his finger up his nose, hands he can't sit still."

What can I say...sometimes, you just want to see a hot guy with his hand down his pants.

While on the topic of The Celebrity, I got asked the other night by a friend of Nura's,  how The Celebrity found out about me and my writing to begin with.  I'm fairly sure it has to do with the fact I wrote about company #4 back about five and a half years ago and one of the wrestlers had seen it. That particular wrestler is no longer alive, but I know they worked in company #3 around the same time.
He then asked me what would I do if I had to choose between The Celebrity and my Mr. Scratchy.  I told him that I really didn't see that as being an issue. 

Play that song again

Seems, I was not fast enough last night with my blog post.  I had just hit the publish button and saw in my stats that there had been a hit while I was writing.  Now I know why Mr. Scratchy, I had the intense feeling that I was racing the clock with that overnight post.

Then, I was unable to sleep which has become a horrible pattern with me.  And to add to it, I had an old Bon Jovi song playing over and over and over in my mind.
The song was so clear that I actually checked the hallway to see if anyone in the building was up with their stereo on.   None.  Peaked out the windows to see if anyone was in the parking lot but nothing.  There was no reason for me to be hearing this song the way I was.

Okay, this means that either the universe is up to something or I'm getting really bad cabin fever from having to stay inside with my broken foot.

The song was "She Don't Know Me"   and it literally just kept replaying in my mind until I did finally drift off to sleep around 3:30am.   This morning I had to hunt down the video online and watch it a few times to sort of get the song out of my head.
One of those old 1980's videos that don't make a lot of sense.  There's Bon Jovi dreaming about and following his ideal girl, while the girl next door is dreaming about him following him around, and at the end of the video; you see his confusion as he looks from one to the other.    Never really sure if the video was meaning that they were twins, or one was a doppleganger or if its a metaphor for him wanting the ideal and realizing that the plain girl was also his ideal?  That they are the same girl?

See universe might be up to something... or dare I even say that my soulmate was listening to that song late last night?  Who knows?

Dear love

It's the middle of the night, and I've just spent more time then I should have trying to figure out what was suppose to be the latest post and it sits in draft.
Mr. Scratchy, I feel like this is a race with the clock to get something on here before you check in.
As I sit in my pajamas fending off the cold, I ask you how your night was as I'm sure you're just winding down.
I hope your day/evening went well and hope to some day hear a reply.  In any case, sweet dreams Mr. Scratchy.

Monday, December 12, 2011

The return of IMG almost

Some of you might remember me telling you about a introduction gone sour a year ago.  It ended up being a few calls and emails that ended in me being stood up.

I received an email last night from the International Model Guy.  He talked about how he couldn't wait to see me and how he was sorry for not calling.
I was shocked to see the message and suspicious to say the lest about the whole thing last year.  Did he honestly think I would be over joyed to hear from him now?

I emailed back saying how I was surprised to hear from him. 
He emailed back a half hour later saying the message was for another girl, he'd forgotten her last name and sent the message to both her and me because we both had the same first name.  Then had the nerve to say maybe if he's free over the holidays he'd call me anyway. 

My first reaction a year ago about him being a dick was wrong.  He's worse. 

Are there any decent men left out there?

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Stolen Moments vol 2

It's quiet here.  Can hear the birds outside of the windows even though they are closed.  Can see the light curls of grey from the clouds.
It's one of those mornings that will most likely lead itself into a light snow.  The shade of grey that you see when you puff out a candle.
The kind of morning that most people like to share with someone, talking quietly about their day or making plans for their next vacation.

This is me, Mr. Scratchy; sharing my morning with you.  Wherever you are right now.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Deal breakers vs Dealing

"I think you should just start dating again. You're driving me mental which means you are driving me mental." Nura said in an email.

My reply -:"Dating involves having to shave your legs daily and bikini area, making sure your eyebrows are plucked, it involves smelling fabulous even when you've been sweating, it involves having at lest three great outfits for the dates, one being up-chic casual for afternoons of errands just in case you bump into someone who might be a potential date, it involves having your make-up and hair done all the time, it involves making sure you have brand new matching bra and underwear usually in lace and having enough money at all times for drinks, movies and cabs home as well as condoms.   Honestly, I just do not have the energy or time for that kind of production." 

Nura emailed back that maybe I should date a few guys anyway to 1- help get out of my rut and 2 - think of it as research for the column.

Am I in a rut?  Here I thought I was just tried of wasting time on men I wasn't interested in.

All I know for sure is that Thursday night between 9pm till after 10:30pm {EST} I was scratching the right side of my body like madness. {Mr. Scratchy ...}

In season 3 of Sex and the City {episode 35 called No Ifs, Ands, or Butts } the question of the week is "In relationships, what are the deal breakers?"
It's the episode where we're introduced to Aidan, the man Carrie nearly marries.

I've been thinking about this question a lot as of late.  For me if I'm not getting butterflies from the thought of the guy then there is no point.  Butterflies are my big deal breaker.
To be honest, the only two men as of the last year to give me butterflies are The Celebrity and the DoubleStarr.
Two famous men on tv.  Talk about flying without a parachute.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Funny the new Black

Whenever something is suddenly the trend, it gets shoved into the sentence " the new Black"
Funny seems to be the "it"  right now.  I saw this morning on the internet that the 100 Hottest Women of all times was the topic de jour.
Jennifer Aniston was given the top spot lending that funny is sexier right now then being straight up hot.

I guess this means there is still hope for me yet.  Funny is where I fall in the scope of things with aspirations of some day being cute.

Okay so I'm way less Aniston funny and way more Addams Family funny but you have to work with what you've got.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Dirty Laundry 10

"Seems you have a stalker. You think it's anything to worry about?"   Nura's husband Earnan said when I was on a chat with Nura the other night.  He had come to the webcam for a moment to hand her a cup of coffee and looking over her shoulder started to point at the computer. "I was reading some of your stuff earlier when Nura went to the bathroom, she had your blog up."

Me-:"Oh it's just the Musician.  Though I have no idea why he's so interested in everything I have to say when he could just email or something."

Earnan-: "Speaking of music.  I think, and call me crazy, but I think ...."

Both myself and Nura screamed that he was crazy, almost at the same time.

Earnan-: "Ignoring that.  I think your boys are waiting for some sort of positive on their side project."

Nura-: "Okay hon thanks for the coffee go away now."

Me-:"Did you read the company blog a year and a half ago?"

Earnan-: "That was like you said a year and a half ago. Check the guy out."

Nura-: "Hon just please.  Take the dogs for a walk. Love you."

Me-: "Earnan is wrong about this ... isn't he? I mean really now, you read the post year and a half ago that The Celebrity wrote about the side project.  Like a f**king neon sign that said no me allowed."

Nura-: "I can't tell you.  Just don't understand myself why you still feel that way about it. Haaaayyyyy! A year and a half ago?  Wasn't that about the same time you stopped writing? Oh my god! Why didn't I connect that before?" {she slapped her hand to her forehead}  "Darling, you've got to deal with this if you want to get back to writing."

Me-: "Honestly, I'm not sure right now I should be back to writing.  Not sure about anything anymore."

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

You've got male Dec 2011

"He's kinda cute."    The sentence came from the lips of the Nanny who was babysitting across the hall when I opened the door for my pizza last night.   She was referring to the pizza guy.   The Nanny was coming into the building with a stack of take-away herself, herding the 10 year old into the apartment. 

I grunted. 
The guy had long hair and looked like he hadn't eaten anything himself in years. 

This morning when I opened my emails, there was a message from one of the long forgotten dating sites that I had joined a few years back and forgotten to remove/hide my profile from {I'm going to give up on trying to remove myself as the messages still get through even when I've gone off the searches} saying that Random Man #1009 wanted to meet me.
My mistake was bothering to look to see who.   It was the greasy haired starved pizza guy. 

That was my mistake because logging in showed me being online.  About an hour ago, I got another one of those messages saying Random Man #1010 wanted to meet me.   This one let me view him without having to log back in, just hit the line and his profile came up. {hence the whole issue with profiles being used even if you "delete" yourself. They never really delete and they can be used to advertise the sites}
This one, looked like a bad copy of Triple H.  Once again long greasy hair and muscles on top of muscles that made me wonder if he could scratch his own ass?

At lest the pizza was tasty.

Monday, December 5, 2011

I still don't know how she

I'm reading the book version of  I Don't Know How She Does It  and I'm seeing a similar pattern to the way Bridget Jones's Diary was written.  I was a bit disappointed when I saw the film few months ago, but I had bought the book the same day. 
And now finally have gotten around to actually reading it. 

I'm more then half way through and keep getting drawn back to the element of the lead's sort of affair with her overseas business partner.  It's almost all done by emails. 

The irony of that is not a bit lost on me.

The book has so far, got me wondering... when do you play it safe and when do you decide to take the big risk?   In other words, when should you follow your head and when should you follow your heart?
{I think that might have even been one of the weekly questions on Sex and the City at one point too?}

Sunday, December 4, 2011

It's the thought that counts part 2

During a short chat with Nura recently, a question was put out there to me about the men in my life.  So to speak.
She asked me if I'd ever given it any thought to the fact that if I've written an ideal man in the past and had him appear in my life, that maybe I'm the product of someone's ideal?
The jaded side of me that has had my heartbroken more times then I can count was starting to brush the idea off with a sarcastic down putting comment; while the romantic and Wiccan side of me was beaming. 

To be honest, I've never let myself think about something like that before.  Now I can't stop thinking about it and wondering.

Love, desire, physical attraction, personality attraction; it's all a cosmic connection that pulls us to certain people without us knowing why.  Unless of course you are like me and have a need to ask these questions.

I'm sure he's out there somewhere, reading this right now having a cup of tea. My Mr. Scratchy. Keep safe wherever you are tonight.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Steam up your windows Part Nine

He stood in the bathroom, his back against the sink, his arms crossed over his chest.  He noticed for the first time that there was a small crack in the third tile of the shower on the far side. He'd have to remember to go to the hardware store. Caleb couldn't hide in the toilet all night even though he was mad as hell at Estelle right now, he knew she'd seen him come in the apartment and would be knocking on the door before long. 

Turning to face his reflection in the mirror he took a deep breath and waited.  The dark haired man felt a pang of sick heat.  At first he thought it was just the beer he'd had but only it wasn't really coming from his stomach as much as it was his chest. His right hand went straight to the area landing flat.  Heartburn, only not the food related kind.  
God, he hated sometimes the fact he loved her.  Splashing cold water on his face Caleb took one more look at himself in the mirror.  He looked tired, down right exhausted.  Opening the bathroom door he shuffled into the bedroom. 

Estelle was sitting on the right side of the bed dressed in her black yoga pants and a grey tee shirt of her favourite sports hero, reading a book. Caleb's eyes darted back and forth as he willed himself to stay calm to not run across the length of the room and grab her; to not kiss her.  
What he did do was shuffle his way to the end of the bed and just flop down on it face first on the left side.  

"How long you been here?"  he hoped he sounded normal. 

"Twenty minutes. Would have waited another ten before calling you or leaving. You went out." The redhead put down her book on the bed her hand going instinctively to his hair.  She loved playing with the short dark spikes and Caleb loved the way her fingertips felt.  Though he'd never admit that in a million years. 

Pulling himself up on his arms, he repositioned himself so that he was laying on the pillow rolling over on his side facing her. Picking up her book he scanned the cover of it wanting to know what she was reading this week.  Some biography about a chef.  He grunted as he leaned over her placing the book carefully on the floor then kissed her. 

Part 10 soon

Thursday, December 1, 2011

When frenemies are all you have

Ever watch a movie and end up getting a light bulb moment?
Well, for me it's one of those days.  Few months ago, I was in line at the store and picked up the movie Something Borrowed.  It was the release day for it and a total spur of the moment purchase.  I've barely watched it once the day of with mother. 
Today, while looking for something else completely in my mess of DVDs,  I came across it and decided to watch it.  Now I'm the type of person that likes all the extra stuff on DVDs.  As I was watching the deleted scenes, I thought right off about some of the "best friends"  I've had over the years who were like more like frenemies.

In the movie, Rachel is in love with Dex, her best friend from law school who is now engaged to her best friend Darcy whom she's known her whole life. After a drunken one night stand between Dex and Rachel, truths and jealousy blurs the lines in the lives of everyone. As the story unfolds you learn that Darcy is the classic frenemy.
There is a scene in the film where Rachel admits that she's been unable to gauge when a man is interested in her because of something that Darcy had done when they were 12.

This got me thinking about a few incidents that happened to me over the years with my "friends" and their involvement in my relationships.  There have been too many incidents to list {from one "friend" in high school who told everyone my 12th grade boyfriend was an actor she'd hired to pretend was my boyfriend, to a former friend who found a way to insult my every move.} Like many out there, I took the advice of my friends at the time and now I have to wonder if they were giving me advice because they thought they were helping or if they were just under minding me for their own reasons?

This is also the reason I no longer desire female friends. 

What is it about us as a society that some people feel the need to undermine the happiness of others in such a way as to steal boyfriends/jobs or to keep braking down the spirit of someone they say is their friend?

And why does it seem to happen more to women then men?  Or at lest, if it's happening on a regular basis with men they don't seem to be talking about it.