Saturday, April 30, 2011


I have been told most of the week to take a risk in love.

I have also been told that this would be a day when I would get a relationship message that I have been waiting for.

It's 8:21pm and I did not talk to anyone today. 

I'm not sure there is anyone who falls in the area of being a risk for love?  
I'm still not sure about Storm being an runner for matchworthiness.   Mr. Scratchy seems to have pulled back into the shadows for the last two days.  And The Celebrity... well he's ...he's someone I would take a RISK  for.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Looks can be deceiving

I love to argue. When it's with the right guy. 

The argument I had today with the Musician, not filling that bill at all.  Once again, he's on about looks and pushing your way into someone's social circle.   As in, he thinks I need to be not just dating Storm, but getting invited into Storm's group of friends. 

I don't want to be part of his group of friends.  I'm still iffy on if I want to ask Storm out for coffee. 
I was in the store today when Storm was working.  Both him and Mr. iPod were on shift.  The odd thing was, Mr. iPod kept staring at me.  As if he thought I might turn into a cloud of bats or something.  Mr. iPod went in one direction, while Storm went past me in the other towards the staff room. 
Totally out of character for Storm, as he was zooming past me at 90mph, he asked me how my day was going?
My response  "that's a trick question right?" 
He continued on his way, craning his neck to the point I was waiting to hear snap crackle pop with the biggest grin I've ever seen on a man.  Ever. 
It was almost creepy.

So in 24hours, I've gone from being annoyed by Storm to semi-crushing on him to being massively creeped out.  Which proves I'm not sure what I want when it comes to him.

The Musician, for some crazy reason seems to think that Storm is still the best match for me.  How is that? And proceeded to tell me that I need to put on some designer outfit, a pound of make up and then go ask him out.  "Just care about being included in his social circle and getting to know him."

Anyone else wondering what's up with this picture?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

This feels like a trap

The Musician seems to think I need to be dating.  I'm not too sure why, but he does.  I wanted his opinion about this guy Storm, who works down the street at the grocery. 
Storm comes across as gay sometimes. 

Text  -: Storm is straight. Saw him flirting madly with co-worker.

Musician text -: Cool. Talk to him.

Text-: There's no point. He's not available.

Musician text -: You saying if I flirt with two girls I shouldn't have either?

Text -: I'm saying if he's totally into her, giddy into her, there is no point. I can not compete.

The Musician seems to feel that Storm would be a good match for me.  Until this morning, I would have argued but I was actually ready to set my sights on Storm.  That was until I spotted him drooling over his co-worker. 
Now, I'm right back to feeling like the universe has other plans for me. As in finding a nice cave somewhere to live a Hermit's life.

Oh well, as the song lyric says,  "it can't rain all the time" 

Feel it again

Nura asked me in a deadpan question what I was afraid of when it came to The Celebrity.
I had no idea what she was talking about. I must have been having an extra dumb blonde moment or hour.

"Why haven't you tried emailing him?"

"I did."


"Five years ago. And last year."

Nura stopped dead and just half shook her head at me.  "That's it? Twice? In all this time you only emailed him twice?"

"I didn't see the point in trying anymore. He knows all about me. He knows how to get a hold of me."

"So then what are you afraid of? Don't answer that cause I'm going to tell you what you won't admit to yourself. You're afraid that if you give it a real chance, you might actually get what you want. And that terrifies you."

"What? You making no sense."  I said in a mocking tone.

"I'm making perfect sense."  Nura shifted in her chair. "You are scared that he might actually... no let's do this right.  Okay, say I buy into him actually liking you.  I mean liking you liking you, not just liking you.  Say I buy into this. And if the guys are right and you've gone and scared him a bit with your hero worship cause he's just a guy, then think about it.  You are the one who is intimidating.  I know you think he's all high and mighty with his career and all, but in the end you're the only one who needs to be happy."

"You lost me way back there somewhere.  Say all that again, slowly in English."

"Okay. You are scared that you might actually get what you want. Then you have to live up to your end of your dreams. Ever think that you are blocking yourself from having anything with him because you are too chickenshit to talk to him.  I mean directly talk to him?"

"So you're saying it's not him it's me?"

"Yes Darling."

"Well that sucks."

"Email him."

"No."  I started to get just a tad defensive.

"Email him!" Nura nodded as if she were agreeing with something.

"He meets like hundreds of people on a daily basis."


"He has traveled all over the world like hundreds of times. He can speak three languages that I am aware of maybe more. Just the thought of who he's met over the years, what he's learned, what he's managed to accomplish..."

"You're making excuses. Making yourself sound like a complete chickenshit more so then you were five minutes ago."

"Have I mentioned how beautiful he is?  Cause you know..."

"You told me his eyes are beady."  her voice started to raise to a yell.

"They are.  Beady little eyes. Sort of what Grandma would have called squished together." 

Monday, April 25, 2011


G-Babbs is the woman in my mother's building that runs the "committee".  In other words, she plans the tenant meetings, and knows everything that goes on in the building.   Wither you want her to or not.
I usually end up bumping into G-Babbs every day when I am leaving mom's.  This is because she has a very sweet little dog that she walks. 
G-Babbs, not so sweet.  Few days ago, she grabbed me as I was leaving for coffee with Musician, extremely proud of how she'd gotten cameras put into the building.  Which everyone else has complained about.

"I came out to walk the dog and there was a couple in the lobby here...."   she leaned in closer as if she were about to lower her voice, which she did not and continued  "who were making love right there."   At this point I nearly lost it, seriously, who outside of movies calls f*cking making love?  "And then, then this woman pops her head up and says hello."   G-Babbs face was more shades of red then I could count. And this was from telling me.  I really hate to have been the center of her anger and shock when it had happened. "Hello. As if I had just walked in on a conversation and not two people making love."  there is that term again.  "Then I see this naked bum in my face from the guy like it was the most normal thing in the world. To be making love in a public place. This isn't a hotel. And they finally put the cameras in.  They can see for themselves that I'm not overreacting." 

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Random Afternoon

The last 24hours have expressed a few interesting quirks.

One of which was coffee with my buddy the Musician.  We hung out for a few hours yesterday at the starbucks in the back of the grocery. 
Nearly everyone was working.  There was a small hiccup with Z. who did not seem to like the fact I was sitting with the Musician, but that's another blog post on another blog.

However, the afternoon was spent with Musician telling me about his latest dates.  The one he had Friday night seemed to go well, up to the point he realized the girl was not over her ex.  Then he ended it cold. He was also worried about the upcoming date he's got tonight. 

He made a comment to me about how the easiest thing on the planet for a woman is to be picked up. I have no idea where he has gotten this from other then movies.  I told him as much. 
His reply,  that I need to wear dresses more.  As if the holy grail of dating is locked up in a summer frock. 

This isn't the first time a guy has said to me that it's easier for a woman to date then men.  I'd like to know who's telling the men around here that because they are lying large.
If it were true, there would be no single people at all. 

Thursday, April 21, 2011

What should I say?

Text came in around 9:30pm last night from my buddy the Musician. 
A second one came in around 10:15pm
He called at midnight.  All this because he wanted some advice on what to email this girl he saw on a dating site. 
I had him read me her profile and told him to pick out something that he figures no one else will even notice and use that as the start point. 
He then told me that things were not going well for his love life at all. 
Then he told me he's got two different dates lined up for the weekend.  He's sort of got this attitude that if he does not have at lest two dates per weekend he's failed.  

If this were an episode of Sex and the City then he'd be the Samantha character. There is a new girl every few days.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Random Monday Night

The email was familiar.    What is it that all the hot chicks in town are with ugly guys?
This was from my buddy the Musician.   He and I have had this conversation before few months ago.  I answered the email with the same remark that I'd given him that night we had gone for coffee.  
Same reason all the hot sexy men in this town are with ugly bitches.

Seems we were at an stalemate. Both of us were looking at all the couples in the coffee shop around us, in the parking lot when we left, and even walking down the street as we continued our conversation, both looking at it from our personal points of view and coming up with the same idea. 

So when this email came in, I did not have to wonder what had set it off.  I've learned the hard way this is a themed topic with all my single straight male friends over the years, and the Musician is feeling it the worse.

The answer to this nerve racking question would be either A) Settling or B) Real Love.

I'm a hopeless romantic so you know I'm all for answer B)

Friday, April 15, 2011

You don't want him

I was on my way to mom's, and as I passed the grocery, I saw that Doris was outside having a smoke. She's one of the ones who works the express check out. I stopped and chatted for a few minutes, and spotted Conrad coming into work.
Doris spotted me spotting him.

"Don't waste your time with him. You don't want him." she said as she lit her smoke.

"What's wrong with him? Is he married?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"Is he gay?"

"Don't think so." she took a very long drag on her cigarette trying not to blow the smoke in my face, but the wind had other ideas. All I can say is I was this close to asking for a cigarette.  and I don't smoke.  Is there such a thing as Second Hand Smoke Addiction?  If so, I think I might have that.

"Then what? Is he a total player?"

"Not that I am aware of.  No. Just I know you, and he's not who you want. You won't be happy if you started up with him."

"Okay. You lost me."  I actually started to think maybe she had her sights on him herself, or maybe that he'd said something to her about me or something. I was starting to feel like total crap, paranoia and everything. "Why, would you tell me not to go after him?"  seriously, I was starting to sneak glances at my reflection in the glass door of the grocery taking stock of myself.

" Oh come on!" she made a noise as she gestured nearly knocking me in the face. "He looks like The Celebrity. Don't go there. Just don't do that to yourself."

"You think he looks like The Celebrity?"  okay, yeah now that Doris said it out loud, Conrad does have the same height, hair colour, eye colour, nose, and yeah I can't lie, it's crossed my mind a few times. Body wise though, Conrad is thicker through the waist and smaller in the shoulders.

"Fine don't listen to me. You're going to do what you want anyway.  But Conrad's just..." she butted her cigarette and took out her cell phone checking for messages before finishing the small coffee beside her on the picnic table the staff use for their breaks. "I see the way you look at him. I think you're building yourself up for a big let down." Doris headed then back into the grocery.

Well isn't that a kicker. I've just basically been told I'm not good enough for the produce stock boy. Thanks. 

Friday, April 8, 2011

One step away

Starbucks Dude was once again hanging around the parking lot of the grocery with Radar when I went there today.  Haven't talked to him in awhile, and was surprised to see that Radar had cut his long greasy hair. 

"Has he called you yet?" Starbucks Dude asked lighting a cigarette.  I had no idea who he was talking about at first.  It took me a few minutes to realize he meant Mr. Scratchy. {Kitchen Omen that when the right side of your body itches your true love is thinking of you. Same with your shoe laces coming undone} For a brief second I thought he was meaning The Celebrity. I shook my head. 

"You would know if he had trust me on that."  
We talked a bit, then Radar said he'd read bits of my blog lately.  Um  not sure if that is a good thing or not. And that he had a theory on what is indeed the question of my love life.  I was all ears. 

"You are 100% sure it's not an ex boyfriend?"   I said I was sure. Any ex boyfriends would have come by the apartment if they were the one's thinking of me all the time.  Radar continued  "So you believe that it is someone connected with wrestling?"

"Yes. None of this was going on till I started to do the sports stuff."  I was amazed at how much better looking Radar was with short hair. 

"Probably a fan then. Maybe even a rival reporter? " he said lighting a cigarette of his own.

"Still doesn't make sense. If it's just another fan like myself, why not let me know who they are?"

"In a relationship would be my guess. Unless it IS a wrestler."  He sucked back the nicotine his eyes doing that smokers squint. 

"That's been my thoughts for months now." Starbucks Dude chipped in finishing his cigarette and gangling his keys in his hand. Up went the keys, catch, toss, catch, toss. "And if it is, then could be that the guy is feeling bit jealous cause you talk about The Celebrity all the time."   I agreed and pointed out that I have had this conversation before with a former friend and her husband.

"What if it's The Celebrity?" Radar giggled as he tossed his cigarette butt blowing smoke into the air. 

"Okay." I said feeling a slight excitement at the possibility. "Then why wouldn't he have contacted me by now? He's known about me for a few years already. Makes no sense."

"Ever thought that he's frightened? Not of you. But, of what you think of him? You've talked about him all the time so what if he feels he just can't measure up?" Starbucks Dude shrugged. "Or you know has a small dick. Unlike me." 

"Spare me the details on that one, I really do not need to know. "  This brought a blush to my very pale skin and another round of giggles from Radar.

"He's just a man."

"As everyone keeps pointing out to me. Okay so he's just a man. A very stubborn man. Besides, last I heard he was seeing someone."

"When was the last you heard?" Radar asked. 

"August. So last summer."  I couldn't look at Starbucks Dude, I was trying not to look at his pants now that the comment was floating around in my brain. It's one thing to have a dirty mind about your friends, it's very much another to have a dirty mind about them while they are standing beside you.

That was the end of that conversation, as Fanny walked over to talk to Starbucks Dude.  Fanny works at the bank next door to the grocery.   

Monday, April 4, 2011

He's perfect but he's not my type

Some of you know that I have been part of nearly every dating site out there.  And if you know this, then you know I've deleted or hidden in some cases, my profile on all of them in the last 6 months. (remember, some have that weird contract clause that says they can use your profile to advertise even if you delete so hiding when you want off the site sometimes is the better answer)
Surprisingly, this morning I got an email from one of the sites saying someone had decided they wanted to meet me.
Before you all get hyper hold your crickets, it just means I was added to their favourites list.  Though on that site I'm suppose to be in hidden mode, yet I've been added to the fav list a few times in the last couple of months.

So I get this one today, and I check the dude's profile out.  He's a former chef and a photographer by hobby, listens to jazz, seems to have a wicked sense of humour by the way he writes, and is a big reader.

So what's the issue you are thinking?  The issue was looks wise, I was totally turned off. 
But I do promise that if he actually takes the time to message me, I will chat with him. 

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Banker

Past few years, there has been one straight guy working at my local bank.
He's the guy you see if you are needing to get a loan.    Needless to say, I've never had a reason to talk to him.  I have however, bothered to check to see if there was a wedding ring on his hand.  There had been.

Recently, I was out and bumped into him.   He didn't look well.  He was also missing his wedding ring. 

He's a bit tall for my taste, as he's over 6 foot 2.  When I bumped into him, I almost did not recognize him, as he was in a sweater and jeans instead of his usual 3piece suit.
He also looked as if he'd been sleeping under a truck. 

Why am I bothering to mention him?   Well, because not only did I catch him watching me, he followed me around the store for a few minutes. 
If he hadn't of gotten a call on his cell phone, I might have gotten asked out.   

The universe is cruel.