Monday, January 31, 2011

Maybe he's just shy

I hear this alot when it comes to Galvin.  To be honest, part of me wants to believe it, and part of me never could believe it.
I may never know at this rate.
He comes across as a total bad boy most of the time, but I would be lying to you if I said I didn't feel there's more there to him.  It's like he walked off of a page in a romance novel, there's just something about him that makes me think of a lost little boy. 
I'm dying to know what it is too. 

In season 4 of Sex and the City (episode 51 Defining Moments) Carrie finds Big to be jealous of her new boyfriend, Charlotte has public sex and Samantha dates a woman.  The episode's question of the week has Carrie wondering "What really defines a relationship?"

What does define a relationship these days?  I mean, I've had relationships that were purely physical, some that were completely done by internet/phone,  ones that were sensual but never became physical, and some that have been ... well complicated to say the lest.

I'm sitting here now, struggling at how much I should say about him and how much to keep to myself. If it is a case of him being just shy, he should know by now what I think of him. 

I'll keep you posted

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Faking it

I had no idea so many men faked it.
I knew other women faked it.  But outside of movies, didn't know men did.  That was until last summer when I read an article online about how over 60% of men end up faking it.  

Over 60% ! How is that possible that, that many men would need to fake it?   I talked to a few of my straight single male friends at that time, and was shocked to find every single one of them had faked it more times then they cared to really admit to.

Okay ladies, what does that say about us?
And my gay male friends... not one of them admitted to ever having to fake it.

So does that mean that it's just us girls who can't keep our men coming around the curb or are the gay guys just not admitting to it?  May never know on that one.

I'm going to tell you this much, I've never faked it.  Hard to believe but, I haven't.   Sure, I might have needed to, maybe even should have but refuse to.  If a guy can't get me there, I am not going to pretend that he has. I'm going to tell him flat out he didn't get the job done. 
Hurt feelings?  I'm sure there's been a few.  Which makes me wonder about the men I've been with...

In season 2 of Sex and the City, (episode 16 They Shoot Single People Don't They?) Miranda has to fake an orgasm every time she's with her new boyfriend.  The quote of the week being "Is it better to fake it then be alone?"

To me, faking it is lying.  I don't lie.  Sex is the second most important form of communication besides talking; in a relationship. And relationships that work,  are based on trust.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Wow, she's so Unattractive...I'm in love

Does that statement seem right to you?

Me either. 

You've all heard me say that I've done a bunch of dating sites over the years.  Here's the thing, all of those sites have tips and quizes and stuff that's suppose to increase your chances of finding love.
One of those sites, just put out an article about how the less attractive men find women, the more it's suppose to work in a woman's favour.

Come again?  What now?  Dude, if that's true, then why am I still not married?

Um, okay, I sort of can't argue with that completely, as I know first hand when I first started on some of the dating sites couple of years ago, I had a ton of hot men talking to me because they all told me they felt more comfortable with me.  None of it really lead anywhere.
The top thing I am told by  men is that they want someone intelligent to talk to.  The second thing is that they love my eyes. 
My eyes.  Really... make a girl feel like crap.

The swing shift of it is getting the random "your so f*cking hot/sexy."   I never believe a man when he tells me that.  I hear that and the warning bells scream at me that he's either laughing his ass off with his buddies or else he's a slut.

So bottom line, what is it that truly attracts a man to you for a serious reason?
I've yet to find out.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

He's gay-again!

"He's totally gay." my friend said half laughing half crying. Her arms flying everywhere as she talked.  I bumped into her at the bank. "This is like the ..."

"Third." I said trying not to laugh. It's funny from my end of things.  Bonnie seems to be a magnet for gay men who haven't come out yet.

"Oh my god! Don't tell me that! Don't! I don't know what's wrong with me Darling! Really now, why is it I keep sleeping with gay men? You know it starts off fine then ... mah"  she shrugged trying to act cool about it, but honestly she was like ashened. Bonnie is half East Indian half Ojibawe Native, ashened is not a colour that looks natural on her.

I hadn't seen Bonnie in over a year, which is sad in itself as we used to be best friends about ten years ago.

"What am I going to do?" she then lit a cigarette and pointed it at me as if I had the answer or something.

"Magick?" I was looking at that cigarette thinking the smoke smelled good.  I don't smoke but everyone I know does.

"I did. Just a sex spell nothing serious. Could be my problem."

"Could be. You would think that we've learned our lesson on love spells way back when Tunagirl did one and got herself in that abusive relationship."   we looked at each other and laughed.

"But he's gay! Like gay -gay. Can't get it up  without another man in the room gay."

"Um, that's usually what gay means."

"Okay, mom's babysitting my kid, so I have to go. Email me and we'll catch up. Oh I meant to tell you, I bumped into The Drama Queen and she told me about your Celebrity and the blog and everything. Nice going. When do I get to meet him?"

"When I get to meet him. What did she say?" I answered still looking at that cigarette.

"Just that you got the attention of some hot guy who was a Celebrity and not a whole lot. Never know how much to believe from her. But anyway I'll talk to you later. "

With people like TDQ as frenemies, who needs a press agent.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Are you feeling lucky?

I was watching the movie Like Water for Chocolate  which is a classic foodie love story.  The main character is the youngest daughter of a rancher and is forbidden to marry. Her mother then arranges a marriage between her sister and the main character's boyfriend.  The boyfriend never falls out of love with her, but continues to stay married to the sister.

It's one of those films that makes you wonder about things.

What would you do if the love of your life was just out of reach but always in your life?  Would you believe that you are lucky just to know them or would you feel like your life was ruined?

Love and Lust run a fine line, anyone will tell you that. The question is how do you handle it and when do you know you've hit the bricks?

Personally, I've never known anyone who handles it the way the leads in this film seem to do, but then again, real life tends to be less formal and more sticky. 

If I were thrown into a situation where the love of my life was living in the same building as me with someone else, I would not be able to function.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Age Issue

I read an article by a relationships expert that stated "all women age regress when they are attracted to or feel comfortable with a man".

Well yeah.  Wither we bump into an ex on the street, meet a new potential love interest or are in that middle stage of connection,  we tend to have the giggle-fits of a teenager.  Think of it like that movie 13 going on 30  where Jennifer Gardner's character makes a wish and wakes up years later as an adult but has no clue how to act.   Yeah, that's a women in love at any age. (my main blog is extreme proof of this)

But we never see any research on the man's side of it.  Do men age regress or for that matter have the opposite effect when they meet someone they are attracted to/feel comfortable with?  When two people like each other, do they meet in the middle?

And just like in  Season three of Sex and the City  (episode 45 Hot Child in the City) Carrie  just can't help but wonder .... Are we 34 going on 13? 

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Bridget Jones's Diary... You have to

You have to watch Bridget Jones's Diary on New Years.  It's tradition. 
Any woman will tell you... let me rephrase that... any SINGLE woman will tell you that it lights a fire under your ass to start the new year off with a better view.  It's like you watch the film and walk away from it feeling both invincible and that you are smarter then that.

Then you just want to curl up with Pride and Prejudice for the rest of the week.