Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Dirty Laundry 70

I was hanging out last night with Marie, and the first thing out of her mouth was "how'd it go this week with grocery guy?"

Me-:"I avoided the grocery like the plague until Sunday. He doesn't work on Sundays. I was leaving my building, and as I stepped onto the sidewalk, he literally turned the corner into my path."

Marie-:"Great! Did you talk?"  she was glowing with giddiness.

Me-:"I turned and ran in the other direction through the parking lot."

Marie-:"You need to say yes to him when he asks you out."

Me-:"He's not going to ask me out."

Marie-:"Trust me, he will."

Me-:"Here's what's wrong with that statement. A, he's too young like fifteen maybe even twenty years younger too young. And B, I'm not attracted to him. If he does ask, I have to say no. Which will suck because I know way too well what it feels like to be rejected. Or I'll end up feeling so crappy that I will say yes and get stuck in a situation that is bad for everyone."

Her happy glow seemed to slip a bit and I know she was thinking then of her own relationship and how she's not happy either in her current one. Didn't stop her from trying to talk me into going to the grocery with her though before they closed.

Marie-:"You need to get back out there and start dating again."

Me-:"Aware of that." I felt like saying I didn't need everyone around me to keep drilling that information into my brains.

Marie-:"Why not do a dating site then?"

Me-:"Done those in the past and they brought nothing."

Marie-:"Well, give it another try. Can't be that bad?"

I grabbed her laptop and pulled up a dating site that lets you do a search without having to sign up for it first.

Me-:"Let's see. Woman looking for man, 33 to 40, Caucasian, never married, no kids." she was still smirking while the thing did it's search. "No matches."

Marie-:"Widen your search."

Me-:"Fine. 32 to 41"   The page then spun again and a few photos popped up. "Three. There are three men in the whole country who match. Two in Vancouver, one in Montreal."

Marie-:"Widen your search again."

Me-:"To what? That's all of Canada. And it's telling me there are only three men who match up." I was actually getting a bit pissed off at this point as we checked out their profiles. One was clearly older than he'd listed himself to be, another was dressed in hunting gear, the last one who was marginally good looking didn't have a single photo where he wasn't sitting in a bar.

Marie-:"Message this one."

Me-:"We're sorry, but you don't match their desired search qualities."  Bar guy wanted someone who was a Catholic, the older one wanted someone under thirty, and the hunter just wanted someone in their area only.

Marie-:"Widen your search then." she literally opened her arms gesturing towards the walls.

Me-:"What part of that's all of Canada are you not understanding?"

Marie-:"The Canadian part. Expand into the states."

Me-:"And the point of that would be what now? If I can't afford to travel across the province to meet a man, how would I travel out of the country itself?"
Marie-:"Well, who says you have to travel to them?"

Me-:"I'm not going to win this am I?"

Marie-:"No, widen your search."

Friday, June 9, 2017

post it note June 8th 2017

Dear Mr. Scratchy:

It's just before 12:00am EST here. I spent most of the day chatting with Marie and trying to write the next two parts of the fairy tale. Here's the thing. My heart's not in it anymore. Nor is it in doing reviews, or the video projects or much of anything.  How do you bounce back from that? 

I imagine you checking in to this tonight Herman, dressed in black track pants and an orange t-shirt and grey hoodie. I think you've got a cup of take-away coffee beside you and a plate of nachos. I also believe you are trying to get something written in script form, I'm guessing for a promo. Assuming you are doing the indie shows and have to write your own stuff.

Honestly, I don't know what pulled me in here tonight to post this?  I really want to ask if you injured your left leg? There is just something nagging in the back of my mind to ask so...asking, did you Mr. Scratchy, injure your left leg in the last week?  Okay Herman, that's it for me tonight. I need to figure out how to avoid the dude from the grocery store that Marie is determined to set me up with.

As always Mr. Scratchy, dream of me.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Dirty Laundry 69

I went for coffee with my friend Marie. Right off I could tell something was bothering her from the way she slumped in her seat. When I asked, she showed me a message from twitter. This guy has started to follow her on there, and he's now following everyone she is. But it bummed her out a bit.

Marie-:"Just look at what he posted."  she showed me his tweet from last night. I didn't see anything wrong with it, just song lyrics. "I posted something and two minutes later he posted this." I still didn't get the bad to be honest. She continued to show me the last few weeks of posts between them. Every time she posts something, he does the same theme. She talked about the band Flock of Seagulls, he posted a cartoon of seagulls. She posted about a ring she was wanting, he talked about a piece of jewellery with the same coloured stone.

Me-:"Dude! Actions speak louder than words. He's so into you!"

Marie-:"I don't think so."

Me-:"Trust me! He is. He's making a point to get into what you're into." damn, if there was a man on this planet who wanted my attention enough to interact like that with me on instagram or youtube, I'd be listening to what his non-words were saying; not pouting over it.

While we were there, this one guy who works at the grocery store walked in. Marie turned around in her seat and started to giggle.

Marie-:"That one again."  referring to the fact this guy had been in the coffee shop three times while we were there.  And he stood in line, of which there wasn't one, just stood there in the middle of the building far enough away from the counter and too close to where we were sitting, just staring at us. "Oh he just turned away all red."

Me-:"Cause he saw you staring at him."

Marie-:"He's embarrassed he got caught staring at you." she had the biggest smirk on her face as he ordered his donut. We started to get up to leave, when the grocery store guy took the seat beside our's. "Do you want to stay for a few more minutes?" Marie sat back down giggling.

Me-:"I thought you needed to get home for the dogs?" I could feel him staring at us, and it caused me to blush. I ended up having to sit down again because Marie was not getting back up. The dude had sat so he was facing her direction.

Marie-:"Okay, I need a smoke so outside." and then she practically dragged me out of the building.  "He was looking at you the whole time. I totally think he was trying to get the guts to ask you out!"

Me-:"He sat so you were in his direct view not me."

Marie-:"But he was looking at you. Surprised he didn't break his neck the way he was twisting it. How old you think he is?"

Me-:"I don't know? In his twenties maybe? Too young for me."

Marie-:"Age is but a number. Besides, he's not your future husband. You deserve a fling." she winked at me as she started to head towards home.

Me-:"You say that like you've seen something." I turned following her. She laughed again. "You did see something. What the hell did you see?"

She just shrugged and told me to have fun before October. Yeah, sometimes being friends with a psychic can be complicated.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Dirty Laundry 68

I was out for coffee with my friend Marie. She's one of the girls who works at the occult store here in town. And she's been trying to talk  me into going with her to this convention in the fall in the states. I've been reluctant because, well that's just me. Anyways, Vegas was brought up again. While we were talking, she got a message via twitter from The Guy In Vegas, once again asking her to come out there.  Now, she's shown me his photo before, but he was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap. So didn't recognize him. Then she showed me the twitter message, and the video attached pointing him out.

Me-:"Oh my god! He's The Guy In Vegas?"

Marie-:"Yeah, why?"

Me-:"You never told me HE's the guy!"   the guy - her guy, is infamous in the occult world and works for one of those reality tv shows. And dude, I've had a crush on this guy myself after seeing him in a documentary few years back. They met few years ago at one of these conventions.  Needless to say, my mouth fell open and I think I started to drool even. "Damn! What is stopping you from flying out there right now?"

Marie-:"Flying. I hate flying."    hence why she really wants someone to go with her. She needs to have someone pry her full of alcohol and keep her from jumping out of the plane to her death.

Me-:"Then take a bus. You need to go and like marry this dude. Now!"

Marie-:"I'll go if you go with me." 

Me-:"You do realize the second you hook up with this guy you're going to want to stay there."

Marie-:"No I won't."

Me-:"Yes you will."

Marie-:"Yes I will." she went five shades of red in about two seconds. "So you'll go with me?"


Monday, April 10, 2017

post it note April 10th 2017

Dear Mr. Scratchy:

I came into the blog this afternoon with a plan. By the time I got my coffee and opened the page to write, plan was forgotten.  It's one of those days where even though I'm doing fairly well, the quiet is getting to me. Not the physical literal quietness of the place. That's always a happy peaceful few moments in the building I live. But the everything has slowed down and I don't have any obligations, quiet. It's moments like this I miss hugs. Yeah, hugs. Sitting on the sofa with the guy, or curled up in bed with him, or even just those really long hellos or goodbyes when you're standing in the hallway just loving the moment with the guy.  It's these pockets of time that get me. The quiet.  It's one of those pockets.

The other day, I'd been out most of the day, was on bus coming home. Bus stopped in front of the bar and a stack of people got on. It's a bar, they stank of beer. Have I mentioned I hate beer. Well, anyways, this old guy who was like in his 70's at lest, reached into his jacket and pulled out a bottle of men's cologne and sprayed half the bottle on himself. Did I mention he was sitting right in front of me. Yeah, I wasn't fast enough to duck, and spent the rest of the day smelling of it. Short blessing that I was headed home and not going anywhere important.

Okay, so now I've made you laugh, I need to get back to the twenty or so projects I have on my to do list.

I imagine Herman, that you're checking in today after a long day at work. I seem to think you are having a bowl of vegetable soup for dinner. The canned kind at that. I seem to think you're reading this, craving marshmallow squares for some odd reason. I think you are wearing a pair of black track pants that you've cut into shorts, runners no socks, and a light material jacket. I think you just got back from a run. Don't ask why, just roll with it. I imagine you're sitting there reading this, seriously arguing with yourself about something your buddy said to you. Maybe you went to some random palm reader or something with them so they didn't feel so embarrassed about it. And I think the reader did your tarots for you, giving you some out of the blue information that you're unable to get out of your mind.  You want to ask my thoughts on the cards...and that's the inner argue.

Oh Herman; Mr. Scratchy. These post its might seem easy but trust me, they're not.
As always, dream of me

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

All out of cute media

I'm sitting here this morning, trying to figure out some stuff. Relationship wise, if you want to call my social status on social media a relationship?  If you've been reading this for any real bit of time, you've seen me say that my aunt who is a life coach and apparent social media goddess; keeps trying to get me to turn my facebook and youtube and instagram into my gateway to romance. Which, I'm sure, millions of people can do easily, suavely and not think twice about it.
The me of twenty-five years ago, probably could have too. The me of now. Not so much. 

My aunt has this philosophy that the average person has 10 people in their lifetime fall in love with them, beautiful people have around 50, and famous people have a few hundred. Now, add in social media and the numbers sky rocket. The average person suddenly goes upwards to about 2000, beautiful people in the millions, and famous people...why bother trying to count?
So, according to my aunt, just because of the invention of youtube and instagram, I should be sporting a score of 1550, give or take twenty.

Obviously, not the case, otherwise I'd be happily married by this point. Or at the very lest, running a fan page for myself on facebook.

I made the sad mistake of actually checking my youtube stats this morning. My results were nothing that could indicate my future husband was watching me, one handed.  I've always assumed my target audience were A ) wrestlers, B ) gay men, C ) male witches, D ) men between 28-40.   It seems, not the case. According to youtube, my core audience are women in their 50's.  Yeah, I don't know how that happened either?

I guess it's time to buy a new push-up bra and a tight black dress or something.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Dirty Laundry 67

I just got a message from Marie asking me if I knew who the new tarot reader at the cafe was?  I didn't. Have to admit, little bit hurt to learn they hired someone new. Could be why my ears have been burning for the last 3 days, not too sure.  Could also be why I feel like something has shifted last few days. At first, I thought it was just where the temperature has jumped and the pressure has dropped. But, it would seem it's something more than just that.
I just finished reading a book, one that I had read 20 years ago. Found myself crying a lot for some unknown reason while reading it this time. It's not particularly a sad story, but for whatever reason, this time around it really got to me?

And if you're wondering, no I never did hear from Yoga Guy. Then again, I wasn't putting any stock into it. Not to say it wouldn't have been nice to finally get back off the shelf, but I knew the second Pussycat told me he'd tried to play cupid that nothing would come of it.  Love him to death, he's got a good heart. But really crappy taste in men.

Jane Austen once said "for a woman to find the perfect guy, she has to write him herself".  Fits right in with my Frankenstein themes.  Would you be shocked to know that I can't even hear myself think right now because I've got my music blasting in my ear phones? Have to, the neighbour's on the other side of my kitchen wall, are going at it like rabid dogs. Seriously, I guess someone took the blue pills instead of the red.