Wednesday, December 31, 2014

post it note new year's eve

Dear Mr. Scratchy,

What's up with you tonight? Nothing out of the ordinary here, just pizza and a few movies. Just watched Duets. I've talked about that over the years online bunch of times. I must have seen it now close to twenty times, and it makes me cry every time. Yeah Herman, I'm such a girl.  There is a line at the end of it, when one of the characters mentions how he can't go back to the life he was living before his adventure because he sings now. On the surface it's the big chuckle. But, when you look at the comment as the wrap for the whole movie, it's the deepest line there is. Well, okay, not the deepest, but it's the one most on point. Before I ever saw this movie, I thought people who did karaoke were the biggest hosers around. Then I had my own adventures in karaoke and damn it, the movie really made sense. It changed my life, much like the characters in the film. For good and bad. Damn I miss it every now and then. Like nights like tonight. The idea that the real world slips away for five minutes while you get to be in the spotlight with everyone adoring you for all your faults. The strange way people become these little cults of worshipers for their favourite regulars, defending them no matter how horrible of a singer they might be. Can let you forget sometimes that those people are not your real friends.

Anyways Herman...I imagine you checking in tonight dressed in a grey t-shirt and paint stained jeans. And I think the t-shirt was a last minute change of clothes, something from work with one of the guys' logo on it. Cause I think you had someone smash into you drunk, spilling their drink on you and forced you to change clothes. Might be why you've got on paint stained jeans my mind anyways.

I miss Dimmer on weekly tv, can you pass a hey to him...

as always, smile smirk and snarl.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014


I was in the middle of making dinner when my cousin Walsh phoned. Not texted, but actually called. "Hey what's wrong?"

Walsh-:"Auntie's not answering her door. I've been standing here for almost ten minutes buzzing. Did she go out for the day?"

Me-:" went to Toronto to spend the holidays with her sister. She left last week, why are you even there?"

Walsh-:"Crap! My mom sent me over to get some recipes of grandma's. She said your mom had them."

Me-:"Good to see communication is flowing freely. What recipes?"

Walsh-:"The fruit cake for one. A few cookie recipes. You don't have copies do you?"

Me-:"Depends on what ones. And why didn't your mom just call my mom, or email or something?"

Walsh-:"Said she tried calling all morning, but didn't get an answer, she started to get worried something had happened."

Me-:"Nope, all is fine. She's there till after new year."  I told him to just come over and he could look through my one recipe book that had copies of grandma's stuff. I ended up having to turn the stove off and go wait in the lobby for him, cause my buzzer is still broken. He got here a few minutes later, cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  "Since when does your mom like fruit cake? I thought me and Uncle B. were the only one's who did?"

My cousin made a face as we past one of the neighbour's doorway, pointing to their apartment commenting on how much it smelled like dirty socks, before sighed loudly then started smirking unable to be serious. "Mom's got this new neighbour who just moved in across the street. She found out he likes fruit cake."

Me-:"There's like a billion recipes for fruit cake online. Why on earth did she have you hunt down grandma's?"

He shrugged. "Wants to impress him." he was laughing to the point his face was red. "Never going to happen." he sat down in the kitchen, the recipe book in front of him. Which he dropped sending all the pages sliding across the floor.

Me-:"Why not?"

He looked at me still laughing, as he turned in his seat at the kitchen table, the recipe book in one hand. "I'm sorry, I love my mom but seriously, she's say she's let herself go is an understatement. There is no way that woman is ever going to get anyone to look at her ever again. Just not going to happen."

Me-:"Nice son you are."

Walsh-:"Oh come on, don't tell me you think otherwise?"   I just pointed at the recipe book while I stirred the pot of cheese sauce. "Besides, it's fruit cake. Seriously, if you were trying to seduce some guy, would you make him a fruit cake?"

Me-:"Well...maybe. I guess it would depend on the guy." I was starting to blush. I have gone through the trouble in the past of making big meals before for boyfriends only to have them cancel last second, not bother to call or show up; just bailing on me or show up hours late only to have it totally ruined. So I see why my aunt is wanting to do this to try to impress this new guy.  My cousin waved his hand in my face snapping his fingers at me like our one uncle does.

Walsh-:"You're not even listening. I asked if you saw the wrestling last night?"

Me-:"Most of it. Wasn't that good."

He was looking for a pen to copy down the recipes, mumbling something about the main event having been wicked. "What? That was one of the best episodes in months. How could you say it wasn't that good?"

Me-:"I'm bored with most of the guys on there right now. Tired of seeing the same six over and over and over right now." I shrugged.

Walsh-:"Don't let Mad Hatter hear you say that."

Me-:"Oh boo hoo I'm sure"

Walsh-:"Oh yeah. He hears you say that and he'll be crying in his shoes for days." he leaned in towards me eyes wide unable to hold back the laugh. "Weeks even." the pen went flying out of his hand. "Devastated that you said something so cruel as to be bored by him. Heartbroken and bitter..." by this time we were both giggling like little kids. "You can't say things like that about your heroes. They have magic ears, things fly through the airwaves and they just know. They know when fans stop loving them and they send out...out...I have no idea but it's something really bad that will make you feel...bad for saying it." he was sniffing he was laughing so hard. "Okay I'm out of ideas."

Me-:"Yeah yeah, I know. You should be loyal to your heroes or they may turn on you."

Walsh-:"Yeah! That's what I meant to say."

Me-:"It's a quote from Trick or Treat."

Walsh-:"I've seen that! The one about the Hallowe'en stories all mushed up together."

Me-:"No the one from 1986 with Gene Simmons and Ozzy."

Walsh-:"No...I haven't then." he shrugged still laughing. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Looks enough like him

Got a message from my cousin Walsh with the simple question "Are you watching the show? Is that Jimmy Jacobs?"

Me-:"I was in the other's on not really paying attention"

Walsh-:"The stupid party people scene, I swear Jimmy Jacobs was part of it."

Me-:"Like you tell me now, google him.See if he's joined the company."

Walsh-:"Okay...not seeing anything online about it. Did you tape it?"


I expected him to tell me to rewind and watch the segment properly and tell him if he's right, but he didn't say anything else. But, now that he's mentioned it, really looks enough like him.

post it dec 16th 2014

Ever know when something is over, be it a relationship, or job or whatever; and then still be a little shaken when the end happens?  Well Mr. Scratchy, it's one of those days.  For once, won't bore with details, just say I saw the end of it weeks ago, but the hammer came down today.  And it surprisingly still hurt.

They always say Herman, when one door closes another opens. I wish I could say that were visibly true, but all I seem to see is a hallway of locked doors.

I honestly don't know why I bother to hang on to these post it notes, Herman, I know you'll never respond in any way shape or form. But they are oddly comforting.

Anyways, I guess this is the point where I say that I imagine you checking in today, dressed in black track pants, winter boots cause I think wherever you are it's cold enough, a dark blue sweater and a grey hoodie. I believe you are sitting in a coffee shop somewhere, a large coffee in front of you, the local newspaper and a half eaten sandwich. And I just made you twitch.
Okay Herman, I'm going to work on the next part of the fairy tale, cause it's all I can think of to keep sane.

As always, smile smirk and snarl.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Wanting and waiting

Was talking to Mardi last night for awhile. Her and her husband have been trying to have kids for a while now, and it's just not happening. I told her about a few herbs and rituals that can help, and she went silent.

Mardi-:"So these are guaranteed to work. Like, totally end up pregnant if I follow this?"

Me-:"Seen it work twice before. Once for a friend ten years ago, who doctor's told would never have kids."

More silence, then heard her breathing change. "Now, if I don't do know what, write them down for me and if I decide to take your advice...cause you know I don't believe in any of this..."

Me-:"Don't have to believe it, just have to try it. Sometimes something as simple as a change in diet can help fix something."

I could tell she was debating on wither or not to take my advice.

Mardi-:"I'm not sure. We are sort of taking a break right now from trying..."  

And there was the reason for the silence.

Me-:"If you're not sure it's what you want why did you ask for my advice?"

Mardi-:"I don't know. Just thought that someone outside of our friends might have something different to say. I mean, you don't have kids. Figured you'd tell me why you don't?"

Me-:"I never wanted any."

Mardi-:"So you are living your dream life."  it was a statement not a question, but it sort of got my under my skin.

Me-:"No. I always thought I'd be married."

More silence from her, I could hear the tv in the background as she moved around the apartment.

Mardi-:"And why didn't you?"

Me-:"Just never worked out that way. I guess not in the cards for me."  This got us on the topic of her husband, and how his new job keeps him gone all the time. "See, I would go crazy being married and not being with my husband. I don't know how you do it?"

Mardi-:"I'm glad most of the time lately that he's gone. We've been together since we were seventeen. This almost feels like living on my own." 

They are both in their early 30's now.  I could feel the tension in her voice as she talked about some of the little things that he does that drives her nuts. And all I could think was everyone drives someone closest to them insane with stupid stuff. It's what makes a relationship. That and how much I envied her. Every time over the years I've sat listening to my friends complain about their husbands/wives/boyfriends/girlfriends, it makes me sad.

Me-:"I've lived alone for so long that I just don't see myself ever being able to deal with someone now. Too late for any of it. Even if I were lucky enough to find a man who loved me enough to marry me."

She brought it back to the topic of kids, saying how it was the next logical step. Marriage, house, kids. How she's not sure she's ready to give up her job to look after them, and that I was the only friend she had who didn't have kids.  I didn't know if I should take that as a good thing or a slightly hooded insult?

Mardi-:"Anyways, anything else with your stalker?"

Me-:"Mr. Freeze. Nope. Haven't seen him in weeks, guess he doesn't work there anymore."

Mardi-:"You sure? I saw a guy working there yesterday who looked a lot like the Reporter. Didn't you say he looked like him?"

Me-:"Uh, yeah. Did he creep  you out too?"

Mardi-:"Didn't even look up from his boxes. Did you notice, he's got a new tie he wears all the time now."

Me-:"Your husband?"

Mardi-:"No the Reporter. Like for the last week straight, he's been wearing this dark coloured tie that doesn't clash with his suite."

Me-:"Huh. I never watch the local news unless I'm at mom's. Haven't been there at suppertime for awhile."

Mardi-:"I think someone told him about your comments about his ties."  she giggled when she said it.  This does not bode well if she did tell him.

Me-:"I don't even want to know."

Mardi-:"He was doing a news story the other day at my work. Just commented that his ties were a little loud and that I wasn't the only one who thought it. Didn't mention your name."

I didn't have much else to say to that. The conversation went back around to one of her other friends who lives in New Zealand now, and how she's just had twins. It seems Mardi has nothing on her mind but babies.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

post it dec 4th 2014

Dear Herman:

Ever get that feeling that someone is working against you behind your back, yet you don't know who or why?  Wait, your in the wrestling industry so I'm sure you have. The past week, my ear has been burning like madness, until last night. Last night and tonight I got together with Mardi, for a few hours.  No burning. So the person who's been talking about me hasn't last night or tonight. Should I be worried, or chalk it up to your buddies and you?  Sometimes omens and paranoia go hand in hand.

Igor is looking over your shoulder right now laughing rolling his eyes because he knew, I'd write another post it note at some point.  stop laughing you'll split something.

I imagine you tonight reading this, a coffee in hand, arms covered in ink and paint, from whatever your latest drawing is, a half eaten ham sandwich in front of you, relaxing dressed in those grey pajama bottoms and a flannel shirt half unbuttoned sleeves rolled up to expose the smeared ink and paint. 

Okay Mr. always smile smirk and snarl

Monday, November 24, 2014

Sunday night late

Got a message from my cousin Walsh about an hour ago. I figured it was the same old same old about the ppv, so didn't bother to check it right away. Waited till after the ppv was over to bother to look. And it wasn't about that.  He asked if I was okay?  Told him I was fine, then asked why?

Walsh-:"You killed the fairy tale. What's going on?"

Me-:"I did not kill it. Everything is fine."

Walsh-:"You broke up the leads. Are you sure you're okay? Depressed?"

Me-:"No. Totally fine."    I did decide to move the fairy tale into a new direction, hell after almost two years, it's time to get that soap opera some new blood. 

Walsh-:"You talked about not being interested in Mad Hatter anymore, then you kill the asking..."

Me-:"You worry me. You are way too invested in my fairy tale. Get a hobby..."

Walsh-:"I have more then enough hobbies...don't have enough time for my hobbies at it is. I like reading your stuff. So all this time, I thought the lead male was based on Mad Hatter and the lead female on you, but you had the male do your stuff..."

Me-:"I'm the writer, everything the characters do is my stuff. Where is this going?"

Walsh-:"Nowhere I guess. What did you think of the ppv?"

Me-:"Fine, nothing overly special. I have hobbies too you know."  

Walsh-:"Yeah yeah. so, you going to fix it?"

He seemed very determined to have me change the new direction back to the old boring direction. "No. Don't think so. Think I'm going to see where this new direction takes me. I haven't worked Cinderella into it yet or Jekyll and Hyde."

Walsh-:"Jekyll and Hyde isn't a fairy tale."

Me-:"To a point it is. It's a version of Beauty and the Beast."

Silence for a few minutes.  "Okay, I'll buy that. Hang on..." more silence. "I've picked out Alice in Wonderland, Red Ridding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, Rapunzel... Miss anything?"

Me-:"Sleeping Beauty, Frankenstein, Dracula, Robin Hood..."

Walsh-:"Robin Hood! Okay yeah see that now."

Me-:"Obviously, Beauty and the Beast."

Walsh-:"Obviously...okay, carry on. Just make sure you patch up the leads. They really belong together."

Me-:"They need some strife. Can't be all roses and hearts."

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Jon the metal dude

Mardi and I were talking this morning. Her husband had to go into work, and she had the day off. I met her few months ago, standing in line at the movies.  We were talking about Mr. Freeze at one point. Her reaction, went from shock to disgust.

Mardi-:"Never had that happen."

Me-:"I find that hard to believe. You've never in your whole life, had a man just stare at you like that? Follow you around?"    Mardi can only be described as a goddess, perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect waist size. And her husband looks like he should be on the cover of fitness magazines.

Mardi-:"Not that I've seen. Mind you, I don't pay attention to people. But, you need to do something about it. Sounds like a total stalker." I heard her gulp down her tea. "Don't want to find you locked up in a deep freezer somewhere, hacked into hamburger."

Me-:"Good point."

Mardi-:"What's that? You got company?"

I had been watching a lecture on youtube, and bumped the mouse unpausing it.  "No. Just a video."

Mardi-:"For what? Tv show?"


Mardi-:"Send me the link."  I heard her start the dishwasher.


Mardi-:"Why not? I've got nothing else to do right now other then moping the floors." I sent her the link, knowing she's an Atheist. Couldn't wait for her remarks on this one. "Okay, got it. How far into are you?"

Me-:"Bout half way." 

Mardi-:"Then let me fast forward to where you are."  then I heard giggling. "He's cute! I see the appeal of the lecture."

Me-:"Yeah, have to admit, his lectures make it easy to listen."  I could hear part of the youtube lecture over the phone, didn't have to unpause my video. "Dare I say, a new favourite celebrity crush."

Mardi-:"Is he a celebrity? This living god dude? I've never heard of him before."

Me-:"That's because you're an Atheist." that got me laughing then for no real reason.

Mardi-:"That your type?" there was crunching. "Dark hair, heavy metal, and all that?"

Me-:"Pretty much. Why?" I decided I needed a coffee then as I waited for her to continue. There was more crunching for a long minute, the video no longer audible on her end. "Mardi?"

Mardi-:"Just thinking. There's this guy at work who kinda looks like this dude. I know he's single, he asked me out before he realized I was married. Wears death metal shirts to work all the time."

Me-:"Huh. If you tell me he's name is Johnathan I'm hanging up."  she was silent, even stopped crunching on her snack.

Mardi-:" know him?"

Me-:"No. I just...seriously? Are you screwing with me right now?"  I was standing in the middle of the kitchen, not sure if I wanted to laugh or cry or hyperventilate.

Mardi-:"Why would I screw with you about introducing you to a guy?"   I had to tell her about the whole cosmic joke and how every time I turn around, there's another Johnathan popping up. She laughed at me for like ten minutes. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Dirty Laundry 42

Knock on the window made me jump five feet. My cousin Walsh was standing there. I let him in, wondering if everything was okay?

Walsh-:"Did you tape the show on Friday?" he followed me into the hallway to my apartment.

Me-:"Yeah, but I deleted it already."

Walsh-:"Crap. Kids were messing around with the dvr and I didn't get it. What were you doing?"

Me-:"Watching Cutthroat Kitchen. My chef just lost."

Walsh-:"Who's that?" he found the matches on the bookcase lighting a cigarette.

Me-:"Chef Marcel Vigneron." I pointed to the screen with my tv remote in hand.  My cousin just stood there for a second, taking a drag on his cigarette. He screwed up his face shrugging. "Then why'd you ask?"

Walsh-:"Why not?" he wandered around the kitchen. "Smells good. What's for supper?"

Me-:"Nothing. I was putting away spices, filling up the jars. Everything okay?"

Walsh-:"Yeah. Just thought you would have the wrestling still in the machine." he shrugged again taking another drag on the cigarette then stomping it out in the sink.  "So, what's going on with that new guy?"

Me-:"What new guy?"

Walsh-:"The one from the trash bin. Saw you posted about him."

Me-:"Ah, nothing. Haven't seen him since. Haven't seen Mr. Freeze either lately, starting to think he doesn't work at the grocery anymore."

Walsh-:"Huh. I wouldn't dwell on it too much, not like either of them are Mad Hatter."

Me-:"I'm so sick of talking about him. We need to find someone new to talk about. Like the Peacock. He should get bumped up to the Friday night show any time now."

He looked at me, not knowing how to read me. "Something happen?"

Me-:"No, just he's become too popular. Time to move on to someone new. Someone...worthy..."

Walsh-:"Okay, seriously what's wrong with you?" my cousin was opening and closing the cupboards looking for something to snack on.

Me-:"What if there is more then one Mr. Scratchy? What if I told you I think that The Celebrity checked in recently...and I can't get him off my mind."

Walsh-:"You think or you know?" he had found the baking nuts, eating them.

Me-:"Does it matter. The point is, he's on my mind the last while. Which is like bad right?"

He started laughing for whatever reason, shaking the pecans bag for the final crumbs. "It's only bad if you believe it's bad. Why would you believe it to be bad?"

Me-:"Cause. He's who I always thought for how many years was Mr. Scratchy, till you pointed out stuff to me, putting things inline with Mad Hatter. And, if there is another Mr. Scratchy...then that rips apart everything I have believed in. Starting to doubt everything."

Walsh-:"Ah, so this isn't really about Mad Hatter as much as it is...what now?"

Me-:"I'm not even sure anymore."   Walsh's phone rang, his wife telling him she had dinner ready. He headed out of the apartment, and was standing in the hallway about to say something else when one of the neighbours entered the building, carrying furniture. My cousin had to double back through the building to get out.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

My gay-dar is so off

One lesbian cousin, one gay uncle, a dozen gay and lesbian friends over the years, plus having dated more bi-sexual men then I want to admit would think I'd be able to spot a gay man five miles away.

But no. Sadly, I still have no solid clue half the time, unless the guy is so over the top flamboyant.  I could chalk it up to the fact half the men I've slept with have been bi-sexual, or I could put it down to evolution. Sex and the City (season 2 episode 23 {of the series. #11 for the season} 'Evolution') dealt with the confusing phenomenon with the gay-straight-man-straight-gay-man storyline.  The gay-straight man is a straight man who has been overexposed to musicals, furniture, and fashion while the straight-gay man is a gay man who plays sports and won't f*** you.  (that's a quote from the episode) 

Then there are the gay men who flirt with you...which is another issue for another time.

Anyways, I met one of my neighbours earlier when I took the trash out.  I was slugging towards the garbage shed, when I saw this really good looking guy come out of the back of the building also carrying his trash. The guy spotted me, and kept looking at me. We got there at the same moment, and instead of rushing in and slamming the door in my face like some of the others in the building have done, he nodded, said hi, opened the door took my trash from me, tossed it in then carried his own in. The whole time he had this look on his face that can only be classed as a sheepish grin.

Now, when I first spotted him come out of the building and around the parking lot, something in his movements screamed in my mind that he was gay. But the closer I got to him, the less that seemed the case. His body language changed, and the way he looked at me was the same way this one ex-boyfriend used to.  There he was, smirking at me with a seductive look in his eyes, standing so close to me that I could feel his nervousness as he asked me if I had just moved in, while he fumbled with his keys for the garbage shed. And then this car pulled up and he says "there's my guy." and got into the car.

What the hell?  What happened here? Was I right with my first thought that this very good looking man is gay and therefore unavailable? Cause there was an attraction happening. Or, and I dread to think it, have I stumbled once again on another bi-guy?

I can't tell anymore. I'm just going to start assuming that every man left on the planet is bi. That way I never have to try to figure the score.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Return of the Deperate Housewife

Woken by this banging and rattling sound. Loud enough that I thought someone was trying to get in. Given it's a big building and one drunken wrong turn could find you trying your keys in the wrong door...then I heard a woman screaming to be let in. I peeked out the peeper and saw the Desperate Housewife standing in the hallway. She was screaming for her husband to let her in.

Here's the thing, I thought they had moved two weeks ago. The furniture people came, sofas and tables and boxes were moved. I haven't seen him coming or going, nor have I heard their baby.

But there she was this morning, rattling the key that simply wasn't working, screaming to be let in. I saw her then banging on the door closest to her left, waking the neighbour. They told her something, not in English, pointing to her apartment door. She left her stuff in the hallway, stormed up the stairs, stormed down the stairs, and was screaming into the phone.

Security arrived few minutes ago.  Something tells me this is going to be a noisy day around here.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

11:56pm 26th oct

That's what my horoscope talked about for today. This was suppose to be like a non-stop day of talking, only for me it was silent. And of course, couldn't seem to write a thing. No distractions but no inspiration either.

Anyways, just watched the ppv. It was good. One of the better ones in awhile.  So the day is almost over, just a few minutes left to it. And I'm sitting here right now, staring at the ice cubes melting in my glass because...well they're there. In front of me making cracking noises as they melt.

Goodnight Herman; Mr. Scratchy.  

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Oct 25th 2014

Why is it Herman, that whenever someone dislikes a band or song, the people around them love it?  Two bands I just can't stand are Abba and Led Zeppelin, and it would seem the absolute favourite bands of my neighbours.  Constant rotation.  Wondering if that's the only cds they own?
I mean, wanting to take a chainsaw to the cd player kind of can't stand. Also greatly dislike Simon and Garfunkel but that's because of an ex-boyfriend.

Anyways...when did the leaves start to turn? Yesterday they were on the trees all semi green, woke up this morning and the front lawns are covered in orange and yellow leaves, none which are left on the tree outside my building.


My dear Mr. Scratchy, think of me when it rains.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Dirty Laundry 41 B

I got a call from Walsh's step mom, asking me how I was. I can only guess she saw the blog.


Aunt-:"Are you really?"

Me-:"Peachy with an order of Keen and a side of Spiffy."

Aunt-:"Huh! You've really got to let things roll off you more."   

Me-:"Aunty, I love you for this, but I can't do this light and love crap anymore. I've been trying to stay positive on things, but just when I start to think everything is going to work out, when I start feeling good about myself, that  Mr. Right (I stopped calling him Mr. Scratchy to most people since I'm no longer feeling like they are the same man) is out there; I hit a wall. Someone from my past pops up. Ex-boyfriends, past one night stands. know, the bad stuff pours back."

I heard her slurping one of her power shakes. "That's because you're a sensitive, you wear your heart on your sleeve. Do you still have that book I gave you on positive affirmations and meditations?"

Me-:"Somewhere in a box. Might take me a few days to find it."

Aunt-:"That won't help you today...oh another call coming in hold on..."   I was ready to hang up I was on hold so long thinking she forgot me when she popped back on. " know everything happens when it's suppose to not when you want it to. Remember that, let that be your affirmation today. And tomorrow till you find that book. And while you're waiting for Mr. Right, why not just relax and let yourself find a Mr. Right Now?" she giggled.

Me-:"Every time I've gone that route I've ended up in a worse situation then before I started. I've made a promise to myself no more maybes, I'm holding out for the real deal."

Aunt-:"Well, he's never going to find you if you keep repeating your old negative ways. Positive brings positive. Treat yourself. Get some new clothes, go have a spa day, redecorate...okay I've got a client here now for a reiki session talk to you later. Remember, stay positive."

I'm positive that after that phone call I'm no longer depressed as much as pissed off.

Dirty Laundry 41

Ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to get any work done? Not for lack of trying, but because no one will leave you alone?

Been in a pretty steady groove lately with the fairy tale, and managing to get some notes for a new story, then today gone out the window. Why? Because my phone has been psycho. Here's the thing, I don't give my number out.  But I've gotten this bizarre bunch of calls and texts from people looking for a guy named Carl. This has been happening since last week. I put the first one off as a simple wrong number, but, it's gotten to the point one person said they talked to him just this morning on this number.  The phone company had no explanation  And I've had the same phone number for 8 years. Crazy right?  Either way, it's disrupted my train of thought.

That was the lesser of the badness.  What really got my heart to catch in my throat was a twitter email. I have one, I just refuse to use it. Anyways, I got one of those "do you know blah blah blah?" with a list of so called famous/popular Canadians.  Mr. B. was on the list. (talked about him before "Cursed-id-ed" was one)
This is a guy I haven't talked to or seen in 20 years, and suddenly he's being offered up as a possible contact?  I thought about it. Damn, I thought about reaching out and saying hey. But, I thought better. Didn't do it.
Instead, just sat there staring at his photo for five minutes before deleting the email. Then I sat there for another twenty minutes mindlessly looking into the depths of my coffee cup while listening to the Dracula soundtrack.

You've heard of emotional affairs. I believe they are rare but extreme. My sister has always referred to Mr. B. as my real first love.  Everyone was in love with Mr. B.  He just had that way about him. It's weird how one little thing can get your mind racing to what ifs and shoulda coulda wouldas...
This dude, was Jim Morrison/Hunter S. Thompson/Jon Lennon/Trent Reznor/Jack Kerouac all rolled into one. From the photo, he's still got it.
So now, he's all I can think about, which doesn't help my writing.

The 6 of Cups has been popping up in my tarots lately. That's the card of remembering, past, nostalgia, forgotten friends. Now I know why.

Emotional affairs.  This is like the term of the last decade, the term made popular by internet relationships/affairs. It's become a cop out for a lot of people, and a dirty word for others.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Dirty Laundry 40

I had turned off my phone to charge last night, and seems I missed a message from my cousin Walsh. Which of course was the usual "you watching the show?"

Me-:"Yes, I watched the show."  this I sent few hours ago.

Walsh-:"So you saw then?"   he replied about forty five minutes ago.

Me-:"Just said I did."

Walsh-:"No I mean your man and the arm."

Me-:"That a Twin Peaks reference? Don't remember any little dancing dwarf." 

Walsh-:"Funny. The promo in the ring with the crash test dummy."

Me-:"Was pretty spiffy. Wonder if he writes his own stuff or just goes off the cuff?" which I've wondered many times.

Walsh-:"I thought you wrote something close? Like in your fairy tale or something?"

Ah right on, good to know someone is still reading my stuff.

Me-:" but I got the idea from that old promo Mad Hatter did for the indie no."

Walsh-:"Oh....I really thought he was giving you an inside joke type of thing."

Me-:"Don't think so. More like the other way around."

Walsh-:"Well...the fairy tale is better. No more writer's block?"

Me-:"For the moment all is's things with you?"

Walsh-:"Same old same old. Got the guys coming over on the weekend for the ppv."

Me-:"Tell Duncan I said hi."  I sent the text instantly regretting it. I have no idea why I even thought of him.

Walsh-:"???? What? Now you're interested in him? He's got a girlfriend sort of now."

Me-:"Then don't tell him I said hi."

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Mint equals Cereal?

I once asked the question can you miss someone you've never met?  The answer is yes. As time goes on, we end up missing our favourite bloggers, or our favourite twitter/facebook personality etc, when they stop communicating. I'm having one of those days today.

Few years ago, I would spend hours a day, literally hours, following my favourite bloggers. I would get up have two cups of coffee and just block off about four or five hours a day reading other people's blogs. People, who over time for whatever their reasons were, stopped blogging. After awhile, I stopped checking, stopped following. Just stopped caring.

One of my favourites, was run by company number two. There's a shocker for ya eh? And for awhile, The Celebrity and The Other Guy had control of it. I miss reading it. I have to say, it was one of my favouirte blogs at the time, not just because those two wrestlers were writing it, but because of how they wrote it.
They had a way of making you think you were reading something less promotional and more personal. Even when it was clearly a topic for the show.  I miss that. 

I was sitting here having a cup of coffee, when the scent of menthol overpowered everything. It was coming from the hall. When I opened the door to see what was going on, there was a guy standing there, with a cut on his arm and a bottle of mint extract, wearing a faded t-shirt with a logo for Captain Crunch cereal.  Crazy as it seems, it got me thinking of that whole blog.  If you ever read it, you understand why.

So on a day like today I couldn't help but many people have we left our mark on without even realizing it?

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Love lines

I've recently tried my hand at palm reading, pun not intended; and learned that the marriage lines don't really mean a bunch of marriages. This is news to me. I've always been under the assumption that they meant how many times you'd be married or in a long term relationship. But, as I learned today, they apparently mean how you were impacted by the relationship.
It would seem, that the longer the marriage lines -which are located at the edge of your hand under the pinky- the earlier in your life the relationship happened. And the shorter the lines, the later in your life. Also, it would seem, the deeper the grooves the more they meant to you.
I've got one line that goes from the edge of my hand to almost touch the heart line, which is the one that starts under your forefinger and runs to the edge under the pinky; which it would seem means that relationship happened when I was in my teens/early twenties. It's also the deepest groove on my hand.

The average amount of marriage lines is suppose to be four, I have six.  Five of  these lines are short stubby little lines that are barely noticeable to the untrained eye, well to me anyways, until they were covered in big black inky marker; all indicating that those relationships are still to come and impact me.

So do I look at this with joy or dread? 

I like the idea that this indicates more chances at real love in my future, but dislike the idea that no one will create a soulmate connection with me. The idea that this deep grooved long marriage line is telling me, my one real soul connection has already happened, makes me sad.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Post it note October 9th

Dear Mr. Scratchy:

Miss me? Of course you have. I've had really nothing to say. The bit of a writing roll I had been on few weeks ago, dried up. Totally hit a wall. Sucks to be me.

So it's a lovely fall afternoon here. Crisp air, sitting at +4C with a 0C windchill.

Anyways...I imagine you checking in today, some sort of Halloween candy hanging out of your mouth, one of those orange and black striped candy-cane sticks, dressed in a faded black shirt that maybe someone gave you at some point, like a radio station or something in a press kit, jeans -yes, jeans not the usual track pants- and a wool hat. Toque.  I love that word.
I just made you laugh, don't deny it, you know you did.  Thanksgiving this weekend here in Canada. Mom went to my sister's and had dinner yesterday with her and my brother-in-law and his kids.  Ironically, it's one of the few holidays I actually like. Harvest holiday.  I bought one of those faux-turkey things. Amazing what you can do with tofu.

Stop laughing. Anyways...I think you're sitting there, reading this, earphones blocking out the people around you, listening to some crazy playlist that is heavy on the 70's punk and W.A.S.P.   I also think you just bought yourself a ouija board. Simply, because you were out and saw one in a Halloween display. I've had one for years, I'll show you it sometime.

As always, smile smirk and snarl.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Tidbits Sept 25th

I was writing. Six pages into a new story, the writer's block beaten it would seem for now, and I hear this high pitched wail. Like something you would hear in an old Tarzan movie. Totally broke my concentration.
Okay, nothing I can do about it but sit there looking at the new story. A minute later, it happens again, only it was right outside my living room window. I got up, opened the blinds and peeked out to see what was going on.

There, was a man in the parking lot/on the lawn, wearing a traditional Native headdress, dancing. Not really unusual in this city since our city is mostly Native.

The odd of it was he wasn't wearing anything else. That was a little on the disruptive side. The cops must have been called, because they showed up and took him away.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Dirty Laundry 39

Message came in  just after 8pm.  "Your man is on. Are you watching?"

I was watching tonight's wrestling, so I didn't answer my cousin right away. It was funny, I was laughing at the stupidity of it all.

Me-:"I'm so beyond tired of your teasing. What's up?"

Walsh-:"Nothing. Watching the show with the kids. So no news then?"

Me-:"Just how bored are you?"


Me-:"And I thought I was bad, you're like worse then me."  

Walsh-:"Yep. What are you going to do about it?"

Me-:"...the black tank makes him look like he should be standing on a corner with a lolli in his mouth asking old men if they want company while handing them viagra...the grey was better..."


Me-:"Mad Hatter's shirt. I just keep thinking of the male hookers who hang out on Simpson street."

Walsh-:"Ah, yeah does doesn't it? Write him about it. Haha."  

Me-:" Dracula movie..."

Walsh-:"You and your damned vampires..."

Me-:"Well, needed a topic change..."

Walsh-:"No we didn't. You give up too easily on people."

Me-:"Who'd I give up on?"

Walsh-:"Uh Mad Hatter duh."

Me-:"Need to give up on you."

Walsh-:"You wouldn't have any friends then. Hahaha!"

Me-:"True... maybe Mr. Scratchy got pissed off with the whole Mad Hatter is him thing?"

Walsh-:"Uh...don't think so. I think you're just so stubborn you'd rather be right then happy."

Okay, I didn't have a reply for that. He's got a point, I am one of those people who have a difficult time giving in to others.

post it 22nd Sept

Dear Herman:

Well, midnight has come and gone, and I don't know why, but I really thought this time you were going to step out of the shadows. Damn, I feel stupid.

It's the Autumn Equinox, which is the pagan holiday connected to the harvest and basically what Thanksgiving is based on. 

Watched the ppv few hours ago, good to see Mad Hatter back on weekly television. Maybe it will fix my writer's block a bit?

...I imagine you checking in tonight,  dressed for bed in dark sweat pants, navy blue I think and...that's it. I think you're reading this, cigarette hanging out of your mouth, a sadness in your eyes. Why do I think there is a sadness...because it's how I'm feeling. That and really stupid.
I imagine you slumped over your laptop or tablet or whatever it is you read me on, running your hand through your hair, twice, and wondering about all of it.

Tell Werewolf King, I hope he gets well soon.

Smile smirk and snarl.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Dirty Laundry 38

Phoned buzzed just after 9pm, it was my cousin Walsh. Surprise surprise, I swear he's the only one other then my mom I talk to anymore.

Walsh-:"how's it going? Heard anything?"

He was referring to the whole Mr. Scratchy revealing himself by tomorrow night.


Walsh-:"How's everything else? The grocery boy ask you out yet?"

Me-:"Haven't seen him, last few times I've been there he wasn't working. Maybe he was only working for the summer?"

Walsh-:"What are  you going to do about it? Hahaha."

Me-:"Uh, nothing. You're up to something again, what is it?"

Walsh-:"Nothing. Totally behaving myself. Just got back from hockey practice..."

Me-:"You didn't get hurt did you?"

Walsh-:"...what no I'm not you. Ice is my friend. Just the guys were talking about getting together and having a poker night..."

Me-:"What's that got to do with me?"

Walsh-:"...tomorrow and watching the ppv. Reminded me that you said you were giving Mad Hatter till then to admit it's him. Thought I'd check."

Me-:"Don't you think I would have let you know if Mr. Scratchy finally admitted who he is? "

Walsh-:"Um yeah."

Me-:"Then yeah, that should tell you something if I haven't told you anything or blogged it for that matter. "

Walsh-:" Still have till tomorrow night."

Me-:"Then what? Say he does open up, then what? He's been in the shadows for so long..."

Walsh-:"Don't think negative."

Sunny side up with a side of fabulous

I was out of coffee. Crime in my world. It was too early for the grocery to be open yet, so I headed to the sandwich shop few doors down. One medium cup of coffee should have taken about five minutes to get there, stand in line and get back given the place had just opened for the day, should have been empty.  Dude, how wrong I was. 
I walked in, and saw these two guys sitting in the corner looking hung over to the tenth degree, one I've never seen before, the other, I haven't seen in a few years. 

JTGG-:"OH MY GODDESS!" he stood up from his seat, hands at his throat mouth open wide in mock shock. Jordan was dressed in silver pants that looked to be about five sizes too small, fur covered moccasin boots with the little pom-poms, and a navy hoodie zipped up. His hair still looked like he was trying to be Medusa all in crazy dredlocks. I could not stop looking at the moccasins, they were cool. "What are you doing here?"  he said the word you as if he was tasting something bad.

Me-:"I live here. I thought you were off in Toronto like the rest of the world?"

JTGG-:"Just home for a few days to visit my mom. I'd hug you but I've just been dancing...oh come here." he hugged me in that fake tv way with the barely touching air kiss people give. "Oh my goddess! You look terrible." he started to pick at my hair. "You haven't dyed it lately I see, you're all grey here."  he gave me a drunken smile. "So what's new?" Jordan started then to jiggle his hips as if he were listening to music, which I realized he was when I saw the little cord for his iPod.

Me-:"Nothing really. Yourself?"

JTGG-:"I'm dancing, at this fabulous little place back home in Toronto." he leaned over picking up his coffee cup, not drinking it, just holding it in his hand like it was a trophy. "You'd love it, love it! All these hot guys come there all the time, it's become so fabulous since ladies night has turned into drag night now, so you know, much better." he nodded to his friend. Who hadn't said a thing, and seemed really out of place next to Jordan, dressed just in jeans and a sweater. "When are you coming to Toronto? It will be fabulous to have you there."

I shrugged. "Not anytime soon. Totally broke, maybe next year?"

I could tell he was bored with me, as he sat back down for a few seconds looking at his breakfast which was an egg and bacon on a wrap. He used to be one of the biggest vegans ever, one of the reasons I became vegetarian to begin with. Strange seeing him shoving bacon into his mouth. Saying goodbye, I shuffled over to the counter and ordered my coffee and left.

I used to love the word fabulous, now I'll just think of Medusa when I hear it.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Everyone loves a star

I got a call from my aunt, Walsh's step-mom, earlier.  "Did you get the invite for the conference next week?"  Translation, she's doing another of her lectures on how processed foods are destroying our lives. Her latest kick.

Me-:"I did, thanks."

Aunt-:"Good. I expect you to show up. I noticed you don't have any presence online."

Me-:"What do you mean?"

Aunt-:"I was checking everyone out online, and noticed you haven't done anything in over a year."  I have no idea what my aunt was actually getting at given I blog couple times a week on a bunch of different topics, not too mention the fairy tale.  Which I mentioned to her. "You need photos and videos."

Me-:"What for?"

Aunt-:"I was at this really great conference today, about how to make a better impression in business, and how everything is visual, and I thought about how you said you were doing that soulmate book too that my friend is doing, and it occurred to me; you need to have a bigger impression online."

Me-:"There's photos and stuff of me online."

Aunt-:"I haven't seen anything of you that's recent."  Okay, she got me there, nothing since my knee injury which was almost three years ago.  "On average a person has say fifteen people who find them attractive. The minute someone puts up a photo or whatever on Facebook of themselves, that turns into a hundred. You following me?"


Aunt-:"Then you have someone who's famous right, and no matter what someone looks like, the second they become famous they have thousands of followers, millions of people who adore them right?"

Me-:"I agree."

Aunt-:"So if you want to find Mr. Right, put yourself out there. Add some new photos."

Me-:"I'll think about it."

Aunt-:"Don't think, do."

We talked a bit about her latest classes, and her friend's progress with the whole looking for her soulmate, and the whole time I was thinking that she sort of had a point.  

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

A post it note 9th sept

Dear Mr. Scratchy:

I got tried of looking at the cursor blinking at me on a blank page, taunting and teasing me. Writer's block is about as much fun as a bundle of  dead mackerel on a toy train set.
So, I thought I would write you a note.

God, I wish I knew if you even appreciated these? 

Anyways...I imagine you checking in tonight, a flowered mug in hand, some sort of paper cup or travel mug filled with coffee. I imagine you exhausted from your day, still feeling the need to get a late workout squeezed in. I imagine you are wearing a brown baseball cap on backwards covered in paint, a grey quarter sleeved shirt, and dark pants- also brown- and work boots. I imagine you've got the little wire rimmed glasses on, and you're chewing on a plastic spoon from your coffee.
I imagine you singing the old disco song "Staying Alive", cause it was playing in the coffee shop when you got your coffee and now it's stuck in your head.
I imagine you reading this, rolling your eyes but nodding with a smile, one that crinkles up your eyes just enough and makes them sparkle. And now you are thinking of moose.
I imagine that you've actually thought it over more then once about the idea of shifting out of the shadows and letting me know who you truly are by midnight of the next ppv in two weeks. Which of course would mean your buddy Igor would be smug, because I imagine he's elbowed you more then once telling you to step into the light.
I imagine you are a decent cook. I imagine you painting and drawing every chance you get. I imagine you reading my fairy tale the second I write something, laughing at it, rolling your eyes at the characters, and thinking "I knew it! I so knew she'd do that to them!" I imagine you reading this scratching at your right side like a lunatic.

smile, smirk and snarl.

Sunday, September 7, 2014


When it comes to relationships, there is just so much crap out there.

I've infamously had a string of relationships that just did not work. Disappointing one night stands that left me feeling like the man would have preferred I wasn't even there. I've taken dating advice from friends and family, that just fell flat. I've been asked for dating advice from friends and family that 97% of the time, just left me confused as to why they would ask me given they knew my love life was crap. I've taken the advice given by experts that just didn't work. Advice from books, from magazines, from websites, from television shows/movies. And yet, I'm still single.

What up with that?

What is it about relationships that leaves so many of us confused and feeling alone?  We envy those who manage to get it right, while secretly or not so secretly hating them for it. I think it's also the real reason society loves the rich and famous so much. Knowing that no one is immune to the falldown of bad romantic choices.

I'm not even too sure what caused this all to pop into my brain this morning, but there you go. We all know that finding love/relationships feels like the hard part, but in truth it's the easy; keeping it is the difficult. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Must be a Friday

Got a message about twenty minutes ago. "Are you watching the show?"  It was my cousin Walsh.


Walsh-:"Did it freeze up?"

Me-:"Yeah. Thought it was my tv."

Walsh-:"No. Ours too. Speaking of frosty things...what's up with your new grocery boy?"

Me-:"Love it when you read me. Nothing, haven't been back to the grocery since."

Walsh-:"Scared? Haha!"

Me-:"No, haven't needed to. Think I should be scared?"

Walsh-:"Na. Wear make-up when you do go. Add some colour to you."

Me-:"That would involve buying make-up first. I tossed everything that I hadn't used in the last six months."

Walsh-:"Uh okay....damn, tv froze again on my end."

Me-:"Yeah here too. Sucks."

Walsh-:"That's life for you."

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The boy by the freezer

One of the things I love about the new apartment is that there is a grocery right next door. Fifty feet from my building. I was just there few minutes ago, and one of the stock boys was staring at me. Like slowly pushing his cart of stuff to the freezer, walking parallel to my pace, and when I looked over at him, he looked away speeding up.

This is the third time this week he's done that. I'm not too sure if I should be creeped out or flattered?

Here's the big thing about it, he looks exactly like the Reporter my aunt was hot to get me with. So either he's moonlighting or he's got a twin brother.

Let's just hope he's tame, and not the kind of guy who should have stalker in his name.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Dirty Laundry 37

"He's using a picture I took of him? How did he even get it? I don't even have any photos left from then."

Sister-:"Calm down. You're acting like a lunatic."

Me-:"Then why did you even tell me?"

Sister-:"I don't know!"

One of my sister's co-workers was going on about her new boyfriend who happens to be Wiccan. They met online, and she showed my sister his picture.  It was --- one of my ex-boyfriends. My sister called me, though not right away, she's known for about a week.

Sister-:"You haven't seen him or talked to him in like what, seven years? What's the big deal?"

Me-:"F***, I don't know."  Which is true, I have no idea what the big deal was. The more I think about it, the less it really matters.

Sister-:"Are you even trying to meet anyone?"

Me-:"Does it matter?"

Sister-:"You're turning into mom. And that's just not right. Go out, join a dating site..."

Me-:"Done those. They never worked for me..."

Sister-:"Isn't that how you met ----, -----, -----?"

Me-:"Exactly. None of them worked, they were all cheating slime balls. Not going to do that again."

Sister-:"Oh my god. Okay you know what, no, you need to get over it. You're boring. You never used to be this boring. And you're being a shithead. I saw Walsh at the kids football game the other day, and he's right you know, you've got to get over your whatever this stupidity is. Suck it up! You're not that old for god's sakes! Grow up!"

Me-:"Thanks for the pep talk."

She made a noise then that sounded like something a cat would make. "I'm never talking to you again."

Friday, August 22, 2014

Dirty Laundry 36

Was making dinner, when the phone buzzed. It was my cousin Walsh. "Are you home?"


Walsh-:"I've been ringing your buzzer for five minutes."

Me-:"They still haven't fixed it."  I went out to the main lobby of the building and let him in. "What's up?"

He followed me back down the two long hallways to my apartment not saying anything. My cousin went from room to room checking the place out.  "You're still not unpacked?"

Me-:"I need to get some more book shelves, and stuff. Everything okay?"

He nodded opening and closing the cupboards in the kitchen. "Yeah. What were you going on about last night for? I caught up with the fairy tale and the piece you wrote last night was good."

Me-:"That short piece took me three hours to crank out. I'm hitting that wall again."

Walsh-:"You're over thinking it."

Me-:"Always. So, what's going on?"

He shrugged. "You said you needed to talk last night. So...did you?"

Me-:"And you are referring to?"

Walsh-:"I don't understand why you insist on being so stupid? Talk to him. That's what the internet is for, breaking down the whole famous thing."

Me-:"Well, with your theory, goes both ways. If a famous person wants to talk to their fans, specially if he's as you believe Mr. Scratchy, then he knows how to get a hold of me."

Walsh-:"You believe it too."

Me-:"Tell you what. I'll give him till the next ppv. Then...I give up completely."

He looked at me sideways as he reached for his cigarettes. "Can I smoke here or is this a non-smoking building?"

Me-:"You can smoke in the apartment."

He nodded lighting his cigarette, leaning back against the sink. "You'll give up as in take my advice or give up-give up?"

Me-:"I will find a way to find the real Mr. Scratchy. If he's still alive."

Walsh-:"Yeah, that didn't answer my question. And you know, you know Mad Hatter is the real Mr. Scratchy. You're just being a douche about it."  We heard a door slam and a male voice screaming about something, not in English. "Home sweet home."

Me-:"I think he's having an affair."

Walsh-:"Mr. Scratchy?"

Me-:"The dude in the hallway. I think he's cheating on his wife. She was out there all morning crying."

Walsh shrugged again butting out his cigarette in a candle holder I had sitting on the kitchen table. "Okay. Just stopped by to see what you had done with the new place. I have to go get my oldest, she's at a friend's place. Have you made any new friends?" he smiled at me, blushing like he does.

Me-:"I'm too old to make friends."

Walsh-:"Na, you're just too scared. Never too old." he ducked out the side door before I could say anything else.

The Desperate Housewife

I woke this morning to the sounds of a female voice in the hallway screaming. Peaking out through the peeper, I saw this young chick standing there banging on the door two doors down from me, in her nightgown, screaming at whomever was inside. The door opened a few minutes later and a male voice screamed something back. Not in English.
That was at 7am.

Decided to make myself a cup of coffee cause, wide awake by that, and grabbed the tarot cards. The sound of a door slamming again and the female voice talking rapidly again. Once again, not English. She's been in the hallway for the last three hours, crying, into her cell phone.

Twice the neighbours have come out and spoken to her. Once to ask if she was alright, and once to tell her to shut up she's disrupting things. She told the second guy she was locked out and waiting for the manager to bring a key. That was the only English she's spoken all morning.

Few minutes ago, I heard the door open and slam shut again, and fighting. Looking through the peeper again, I saw the man come out of the apartment dressed and telling her something, once again not in English and walk away.

She's been sitting on the floor of the hallway, still on the phone, still in her nightgown, still crying.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Dirty Laundry 35

I sent a message to my cousin Walsh. "I've lost it! Totally gone."

The phoned buzzed a few seconds later.  "What? Was this for me?"

Oh crap! I sent it not to my cousin but to my Naked Neighbour. His number was next to my cousin's.

Me-:"Sorry. No not for you. Sorry."

NN-:"No worries. How are you?"

Me-:"Good. You?"

NN-:"Not bad. Would be better if I had more beer. So what did you loose?"


I tried again sending the message to my cousin Walsh, double checking this time.


Me-:"My muse. Gone! Have you been reading the fairy tale lately? I don't know what I'm doing, it's turned to crap and I need to talk."

Walsh-:"No, haven't had a chance with work. I'll check later. How can your muse be gone? I thought you were totally inspired by Mad Hatter and them?"

Me-:"Was. Now...nothing. It's like dried dirt."

Walsh-:"Haha! That would be dust."


Walsh-:"Well, maybe you just need to stop for awhile and write something else?"

Me-:"Why didn't I think of that? Oh right cause nothing is coming to me! At all. I tried that and got two sentences in an entire day. I can't go through writer's block again! Last time it was over two years with it and I can't..."

He went silent and I started flipping channels till I got to the Food Network. Just sort of zoned out and had a cup of tea, waiting. Writer's block has become an issue for me the way not having enough money to pay bills does for other people. It sends me into such a panic, and the longer I can't seem to break out of it, the more it weighs on me. 

Phone buzzed again with a message from Walsh. "I think you should talk to him."

Me-:"Don't start. Did you read it yet?"

Walsh-:"No, will later. Facebook, Twitter..."

Me-:"Shut up! That's creepy."

Walsh-:"It's what it's there for. For fans to stalk their heroes. Haha!"

Me-:"You're not helping. I need inspiration."

Walsh-:"That would inspire me, talking to my favourite wrestler."

Me-:"I'm not you."


Fine, I'm a coward, a big coward.  Big coward with writer's block.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

3:54pm Aug 20th

Why is it you always bump into someone cute when you look like crap?  That is the unspoken rule isn't it?  Mom had a doctor's appointment this morning,  like early this morning. So here's me, barely rolled out of bed, looking like something you find on the bottom of your shoe, sitting in an overly packed waiting room with her, when the door to one of the exam rooms opens and the hottest guy this side of  Toronto walked out. 
Dark rimmed glasses, short sandy-brown hair, about 5 '10, a smile that would melt butter, and dimples. Couldn't have been more then about 26-27 years old.  Dressed in scrubs.

Oh my, he's a doctor! Well, it ended up he was an assistant, but clearly he's got the brains to go with that beauty.

I spotted him grab a chart, look around for his patient, and I couldn't think. Brain went numb. He looked at me sitting there in the doctor's waiting room, nodded, smiled and proceeded to call his next patient.

Brain still numb. I was caught staring at him. Watched him walk to the far side of the room to check if there was another free exam room, and he looked up, caught me looking at him and smiled again. Well that was more like a smirk, but you know what I mean.  I seriously don't know what was going through his mind, other then what a mess I must have looked.

He nodded and smiled again when he past me again going back to the original exam room with his patient. I felt flush, noticed even; in a good way. Might even say smug for about three seconds.
Then I noticed all the nurses come off their coffee break.  All of them not much more then about 23 years old, slim tiny stick figures, perfect hair, perfect skin. You know the types. And I slunk down in my seat suddenly feeling old and less then. I couldn't compete with girls like that when I was young, let alone now.

Anyways, sitting there with mom for almost two hours, just waiting when I went to ask how much longer.  The hot guy walked out of his exam room again and over to where I was standing, leaned on the desk, didn't talk to anyone, just stood there butt in the air, stood back up straight, picked up a file, put it back down, picked it up again played with the edge of it and put it back down. When the secretary at the desk asked what he was needing he said he didn't need anything. 

Cool part, none; none of the young stick figures were standing around.  You know that made me feel good.

Then it was my mom's turn to see the doctor and sadly, that was that. Smart men never looked that good when I was that age.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The Guard

There is this woman, I'd say about 23 years old, who every day between noon and 1pm stands outside. She doesn't talk to anyone, doesn't acknowledge anyone when they pass her and say hi, just stands there having a smoke. Every day, for an hour.
She isn't connected to the managers or to housecleaning, so it's not like she's on her lunch break. She lives somewhere in the building, as I always see her holding keys. But it's a bit creepy. The way she seems to be guarding the building or something.

This building, it's like living in a new town, not just a new neighbourhood.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Randomness Aug 18th

Sitting here listening to the crows outside the window, wondering how I'm going to connect the next few pieces of the fairy tale. I suddenly hear this scratching noise, massively loud, and start heading towards where it is. The kitchen. Start opening cupboards, nothing. Thank god! Still hearing it. It's coming from the front door. Look through the peeper but there isn't anyone. The noise is still happening, and louder. Dare to open the door and find, someone's dog on a broken leash in the hallway.

This little kid comes running down the hall with the other half of the broken leash in his hand, and something that I think is jello smeared on his face. Might have been jam, or lolli? Who knows. He stops, tucks himself next to the wall all shy and quickly runs over to grab the broken leash.  Only the dog runs from him thinking it's a game.  Dog runs down the hall barely clearing the corner as he does, runs back, runs down the hall around the corner again. The whole time the little boy looks like he's going to cry.

He starts to run after him then stop, turns and does that open hand-closed hand wave kids do. Then back down the hall and disappears around the corner.

And now, the heavy scent of peanut butter and fried food seems to be coming from somewhere in the hallway as I close the door and go back into my place.

And I still have no clue how to piece together the next part of the fairy tale?

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Post it note 16th Aug

Dear Herman:

Saw the show last night, Mad Hatter will never heal if he doesn't take a few weeks off.

Anyways, Mr. Scratchy, the Knight of Cups keeps popping up. I think that's suppose to be you. Every time lately that I use the tarot, the same card appears. There is a message there somewhere.

I imagine you checking in today, sandwich hanging out of your mouth, a baseball cap on backwards, bit of mustard on your face from your sandwich, dressed in a plain t-shirt, maybe a faded grey one, and shorts.  And you're thinking that I was right, Mad Hatter should have picked a barbed wire match for tomorrow's ppv.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Sign here

There was a knock at the door a half hour ago. Which, given it was not even 7:30am, was a bit unnerving. Checking the peeper (finally, not having to just take a chance when opening the door like at the old place) I saw two guys standing there with a clipboard.
I recognized the one guy as being the neighbour down the hall who helped me move in the first night, so I opened the door. (the very nice East Indian man my Naked Neighbour from the old apartment was catty about)

"We need you to sign here don't have a dog do you?"  this was the other guy with him.

Me-:"No, no dog."

Second Guy-:"Very good. Please, sign this as we are trying to get the manager to remove the dog in that apartment."   he pointed to the nearest door on the right. "They never take their dog out at night and it poops everywhere."

I have to admit, I was a little shocked few days ago to find what looks like pee stains on the rug of the hallway when I went to check the mail.

First Guy-:"We're not trying to get all pets removed from the building, just that one."

I looked at it, saw there were four names already and wondered who do I want to anger more? The person with the dog or these other guys?

Me-:"I've only been here a few days, they haven't bothered me...yet, so I don't know if I really want to be part of this?"

Second Guy-:"There are twenty apartments on this floor, and we need all the other nineteen to sign for that one to be dealt with."

First Guy-:"We're going to be late for work."

Me-:"Sorry. Just don't think I..."

The door to the main street opened, and this guy came in with four little dogs. He didn't say anything, didn't look at anyone, just went on past with the dogs, and knocked on the door of the neighbour in question. We stood there like idiots just waiting.
The door opened and two more little dogs ran out into the hallway as this guy made his way into the apartment with the four leashed ones before calling for the two that were now in the hallway.  The one little fluffy white one peed on the wall by the maintenance room door.

Me-:"That's not all his right?"

Second Guy-:"No idea. I just know the two that came out of the apartment, he never takes them out."

Me-:"Wow! I can't believe I just saw that." 

I signed it.  If I hadn't of seen it happen right there in front of me, I wouldn't have, but there it was. Dog owner just not caring.  Starting to think I traded in one type of apartment hell for another.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

post it note saturday aug 9th

Dear Herman:

How you doing today?  It's a melt where you sit day here with a +26C and +33C humidex.  I've said it before, I'm not designed for hot weather.

Thought I'd drop a note just cause I haven't written you one in awhile. 

I imagine you checking in today, chewing on some mint gum, having just gotten your hair cut, listening to a playlist that includes Pantera. Like from twenty years ago, like Cowboys from Hell, dressed in shorts...wait, unless you're one of those wrestlers who waxes/shaves his legs? Shorts if you are man enough to leave them hairy, jeans if you're one of those wrestlers who bows to trying to look tv pretty. And a yellow t-shirt. I like yellow shirts, I have no real idea why, just always have.

Okay Herman, that's all for now.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Mr. Pebbles

"Hey I'm here!" tink tink tink. "Can you not hear me?" tink tink tink. "I can smell curry! Hello!"

This was what was happening outside my front window for the last few minutes. This guy, mid-50's, overly tanned to the point he looked like a burned hot dog, and dressed in a pair of shorts and a black hustler t-shirt, with a really bad porn-stache, was screaming up at the person/people who live right above me.
Same dude was here at 2am two nights ago doing the same thing. Chucking pebbles up at their window.

Honestly, I've only ever seen that done in movies and in real life by four year olds who didn't know better. I'd hate to see how big the rocks will get if Mr. Pebbles is ever angry.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Checking in

On my way in with an armful of groceries, when my phone buzzed. There was a message from my cousin Walsh. Haven't heard from him in a while, thought he was pissed off at me.

Walsh-:"How's it going? Any bad neighbours?"

Me-:"Spiffy. So far, nothing serious."

Walsh-:"You going to the BBQ?"

Me-:"Nope. No point, vegetarian besides...I don't want to see your sister."

Walsh-:"Okay. Did you see the show last night?"

Me-:"Yes. You?"

Walsh-:"Yeah. So taking bets on what your man is going to choose?"

Me-:"Barbed wire! I want it to be barbed wire!"

Walsh-:"I knew you were going to say that! Haha! Too dangerous. Ladders maybe?"

Me-:"Most likely. Wait, were we actually betting anything?"

Walsh-:"You want to?"

Me-:"Na. Let's just see which of us is right."

Walsh-:"So, you going to get the new website thing now that it's available in Canada?"

Me-:"Thinking about it. Depends on if it's actually offered here or not. I don't think we are even a city that gets that cable company...are we?"

Walsh-:"Don't know. Would be cool if we did. I know they bought out the phone company, so who knows for sure. But anyways, just thought I'd check in, see how you are doing. Dad said he helped you do some of the moving last week. Thought I'd check in, see if you have any crazy neighbours?"

Me-:"So far so good."

Monday, August 4, 2014

Return of the Naked Neighbour

I had asked my brother in law, if he could help put my futon together few days ago. He said no. Too busy. 
Okay, I can figure something out. Though I had no clue what. Then, as I was standing there dumping large bags of trash in the hallway so that I wouldn't trip over them while moving the rest of my stuff; it got figured out for me.

My across the hall neighbour came out of his apartment, grabbed the trash for me without saying anything and taking it out to the bins for me. When he came back into the building, I asked him for help.

Okay, first off, I have an issue asking for help in general if I'm not needing medical attention. Second, I didn't know him from a hole in the ground. We've maybe said "hi/bye/it's raining out" when bumping into each other coming or going over the whole time he's lived there. The biggest conversation to that point was the day I bumped into him like a month ago when I offered to sell the bass.

He said sure, not a problem. He'd help in exchange for the bass.

It took 6 hours over the course of two nights to get the thing together.  The instructions said "half hour assembly time".  Really? A short half hour, for who the Flash?
It might have taken less, like say 4 hours if it hadn't been for the fact my neighbour's cell phone kept binging every few minutes. He'd just joined a dating site and seemed very popular.

Me-:"I thought you were in a relationship?"

Neighbour-:"Was. We broke up...sort of. We've got a kid together, but the last year, totally unhappy so..." he shrugged as the phone binged again.

That would explain some of the flirting he was up to the other day.  After the second night and finally getting the futon to work, he just sat there. For like an hour, doing nothing but playing with the bass, badly. I had to kick him out, he just wouldn't leave.

Yes, there was a brief moment where I thought he might just be waiting for an invite to stay, but with all the comments he was making about some of the women on the dating site, I knew that wasn't where I wanted to be. Besides, he's still really hung up on his ex, plus he's got a kid.  Not my idea of fun.
But as he was leaving, two things happened. He commented on the fact that when he had first arrived, one of the new neighbours in my new building, a very nice East Indian guy, was helping me bring bags and boxes in so that I didn't block the front door too long. And, he told me anytime I needed anything, just call him.

Call.  Not text. Which for any man that I've ever known, is an oddity in itself. Other then relatives, I haven't had a man "call" in years. They always text. Seems to be a safety net for them or something.

So as I sit here now, in my new apartment, surrounded by half unpacked boxes and cardboard pieces; I'm wondering what's next? And why did my old neighbour seem a bit...catty?

Monday, July 28, 2014

Naked Neighbour

Supper time last night, I knocked on the door of my across the hall neighbour, waiting, holding a very heavy bass guitar. After almost five minutes, I gave up and put the instrument back into the darkness of my apartment. His door opened finally, him standing there hiding behind the door, obviously naked.

Neighbour-:"Oh, was that you knocking just now?"  he ducked in for a second and put on a pair of shorts.

Me-:"The guitar..." I held it up not knowing what to say, or where to look. He's really sexy, not in the typical underwear model or anything, I mean he'll never be Mad Hatter or Werewolf King or anything, but...he's got charisma.  I really don't want to think what he was doing that took so long to answer the door, or whom he might have been doing it with.

Neighbour-:"Friday. Pay day."

Me-:"Won't be here Friday. Movers are coming in the morning. I have to hand in the keys by 11:30pm Thursday."

He took the bass looking it over, then smirked at me over the edge of the neck of it. I seriously had to turn away for a few seconds, ended up checking out his tattoos; as he started to smooth his fingers over the curves of it before handing it back.

Neighbour-:"But you'll be around till then right?" he rubbed at his face, licking his lips.

Me-:"I couldn't find the amp. I think my ex-boyfriend might have run off with it few years back."

He cleared his throat then, turning to face me, his shoulder brushing against mine. I stumbled backwards, blushing. What the hell is it with this guy?  I honestly thought for a split second that he was going to hug me or something. Which of course he did not. Just stood there a few seconds too long, swinging the door opened and closed, his skull against the wall.

Neighbour-:"Well, don't sell it before Friday okay?"

Me-:"Uh...okay. Just have to see how the end of the week goes..." 

He nodded, his eyes sparkling and once again, I had to turn to look anywhere but his face.  I can't remember the last time a man had that sort of affect on me? It's been years.
This is bad, very very bad. By the end of the week, I'll be completely moved out, and I still don't know if he's got a girlfriend. But damn, he was flirting just enough...

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Weigh in on that

"Where's your boyfriend?"  Uncle M. asked me as he fired up the drill once again. He was putting the blinds up for me in the new apartment this afternoon.

Me-:"Don't have one right now."

He laughed, mumbling something I didn't catch as he started up the drill again, realizing he'd hung the bracket upside down.

Uncle M.-:"Well...well, what do you mean you don't have a boyfriend? Eh? Your cousin just started seeing someone from work're not seeing anyone because why? She's larger then you and she has no problem getting guys. So don't think you have to let that stop you."

Nice to see that's the first thing that everyone jumps at. My lack of a love life comes back to the jabba-the-hut factor.

Me-:"Uh...well..."   I seriously didn't have an answer for that.

Uncle M. -:"Go ask that guy out there to go out." he laughed again pointing the drill towards the window. "He's been looking in here at you for the last five minutes."

Me-:"That's because we're standing right in the window and he's the grounds keeper. We're like in his way if the window wasn't there."   Poor guy, on his knees in front of the window trying to plant trees and all he's got to stare at is us. "Besides, he's married."

Uncle M. -:"Oh you've talked to him?"

Me-:"No. He's got a wedding ring on."   My uncle laughed again, mumbling something about not letting that stop me and decided that he measured the length of the window wrong.   "Besides, that guy, so not my type."

Uncle M. -:"Type? That's a cop out. Okay so what's your type? See if I know anyone."

Me-:"Uh...I prefer younger, pale, short hair, nice arms, athletic but not too sculptured..."  he looked at me from the corner of his eye.

Uncle M. -:"What's that suppose to mean? Athletic but not too sculptured?"

Me-:"Like a natural looking, not overly pumped up. Funny, my kind of funny."

Uncle M. -:"Sounds like you've got someone in mind. You sure you don't have a boyfriend?" he laughed again.  That giggle of nervousness seems to run in the family as both my cousin Walsh and one of my female cousins do that all the time too.

Me-:"There hasn't been anyone in awhile." I suddenly felt dizzy for a brief second, like when you are in an elevator and you have that jolt when you reach your floor. "I just know what I'm looking for. Nothing wrong with that."

He shrugged closing the blinds to make sure he'd done it right. "Just don't let yourself wait too long. Don't want to end up alone like your mother." He nodded, grabbed his measuring tape and nodded again happy with his work. "Just sounds like to me you've got someone in mind."

Monday, July 21, 2014

post it note 21st july 2014

Dear Herman:

+30C here with a humidex of +42C.  Yeah, that's unbearable.  Hope wherever you are, it's air conditioned.

Saw the ppv last night, and was less then impressed by the way the storyline between Mad Hatter and Rebel without a Cause was done.  I wanted a match not just...anyways...I imagine you checking in tonight, a cigarette in hand...don't know why I suddenly think you are a smoker just do. 
Dressed in a pair of grey shorts and t-shirt. I think you have a super sized iced tea in front of you and are reading the sports pages online. Like, a randomness of scores and stuff from some sports channel website. That sentence made perfect sense, it's your buddy looking over your shoulder reading that just didn't get it.

So I'm off to watch tonight's wrestling and maybe work on a art project...need to clear my mind and relax from the chaos that is this move.  Smooth it's not.

And as, smirk and snarl.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

post it note july something

Dear Herman:
It's +28C here tonight. I don't work well in this type of heat. Anything more then +17C is too much for my blood.

Anyways, hi. Thought I would drop a post it just because.  So...I imagine you checking in tonight, dressed in plaid.  Plaid shorts, plaid shirt and...superhero comic pattern t-shirt. The wire rimmed glasses I think you wear, chewing on your bottom lip. I think you've got an extra large iced coffee in front of you and a burger. I think you've got a double bacon cheese burger with pickles and chilli fries. With extra onions.  And I also think that you are listening to a new batch of songs that might just be very similar to some I was few days ago.

And with smirk and snarl.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

July 16th 2014

Remember when you were in high school and there was always that one person, usually a chick who was just a total nit of a troublemaker?   Well, That would be Tarot Lady.
Was at the bus stop, waiting in the way too hot sun, when she spotted me and came over to where I was. The same thing she's been complaining about now for months, how Timothy is stealing her clients and tarot spread.  Okay word of note, you can't "steal" a tarot spread, even if it is your favourite spread that has become a semi-trademark in your group.
Anyways, she was leaning in way too close to me, breathing on me as she "whispered" that he was out to get her, because "he's gotten really deep into all that witchcraft." 

Tarot Lady continued tell inform me that she's being forced out of the apartment building because someone called the health department claiming she had bed bugs.


I cringe as I even think about it. She blamed that on one of the ladies who lives in the apartment just below her on the main floor. Someone who's never been in her apartment.

Life is never truly dull, even when you think it is. Weird, petty even, but never dull.

Monday, July 7, 2014

post it note Monday night

Dear Herman:

Have you been watching the highway, avoiding the big moose?  Don't forget to get out of the way of the stray elk and beavers.

Actually watching the show tonight, at mom's where I've left my computer this week. Decided to cut the internet at the old apartment before the hook up date for it at the new one. How totally unthinking of me.

Anyways, I imagine you checking in tonight, an ice-cream bar in hand, the kind with the nuts and chocolate coating. Dressed in dark jeans and a yellow t-shirt, and those wire rimmed glasses.  Glasses are sexy. Books are too.

That about sums it up for now.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Saturday July 5th

I went to the grocery on the way back from mom's last night, Storm was working and he asked me how it was going with the move.  I just kind of slumped there exhausted.

Me-:"Long process. All the moving companies in this town are owned by the same guy. And I can't afford his rates."

Storm-:"Rent a u-haul."

Me-:"Looks like I'm going to have to. But even then, I need to find someone who can drive and has a buddy to help."

Storm-:"You don't drive? Me either otherwise I'd help. I had the same issue last year when I moved. Everyone was all like, when you need me I'll be totally able to help, then when it was moving day, everyone suddenly disappeared. Total struggle."

Me-:"And that's what I'm dealing with now. Not too mention half my stuff just won't fit, I need to massively downsize so like 90% of my stuff will have to be sent to the dump. That's going to cost more then the actual move."

Storm-:"Life sucks."  he got called into the back storage room then.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Monday 8:26pm note

Dear Herman:

That was an interesting and brutal ppv last night, hope Mad Hatter's arm is okay.  Loved the grey.
Will be interesting to see where the summer storyline goes.

Song stuck in my head  Dig Up Her Bones by Misfits.

And very much distracted now by Rebel without a Cause's match...just ended. Have to learn not to post during certain matches, get distracted easily.

Anyways, I imagine you checking in tonight, dressed in a pair of track pants, a paint covered t-shirt, and a cap on cause you didn't wash your hair. A whiskey in front of you, chewing on a thin paintbrush from working on a drawing.  I think you're the Kerouac type. All smoky rooms and jazz.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Friday June 27th

My sister and I were at the new apartment for a bit, dropping off some of the lighter stuff, when one of the neighbour's door opened.  No one came out, no one was entering, the door just seemed to open about two inches.

"That's the creeper." I said as we entered my new apartment.


Me-:"Every time I've been here in the last few days, that guy opens his door and just stands there. I have no idea what his deal is? Doesn't say anything, doesn't go out of his apartment, just stands there. The first day, I thought it was one of those life size cut outs of like movie stars or something, but it was him."

Sister-:"Okay. Welcome to crazy town. Have you met anyone else in the building yet?"

Me-:"One of the neighbours from the third floor. She was outside when I came to pick up the keys the other day, and when I said what floor I was moving into, she screwed up her nose at me. "


Me-:"Yeah, seems I'm moving into the 'low rent district' of the building. The third floor it would seem is high quality and anything else is considered scum."

Sister-:"Ha! If she only knew where you were moving from eh?"  she walked around the apartment opening and closing the cupboards and closets. "This place is tiny! You could fit this whole apartment into the living room where you're moving out of. Why would you move? Scratch that, I know why you're moving, but to downsize like're going to have to get rid of like everything you own to fit anything in here. You're not going to get everything done in a month. Unless you like don't sleep at all for the next 30 days."

We locked up and headed to the sandwich shop next door, for dinner. The place was packed, and even with her wedding ring, my sister got hit on by two guys. Pour more salt on that wound.

Me-:"I think this is going to be my new go to place."

Sister-:"You will get so if you eat here too often. But, I can see the attraction. And the food's good too."

Saturday, June 21, 2014

post it June 21st 2014

First day of summer, though with the dampness and rain, you'd never know it here.
Saw a dead squirrel on the road this morning, it got caught in the wheel of someone's bike. Very strange, the other squirrels didn't seem to even notice just kept zipping across the street and back again, but the birds did. Three crows were standing guard around it on the street, squawking and chasing off the seagulls from it, and one cat. I've seen birds freak out a bit when another bird gets hit on the street, but never another animal.  Odd what you notice sometimes eh?

Anyways Herman, I imagine you checking in tonight, dressed just in those pajama bottoms, maybe having just done laundry, singing along to your latest playlist, then maybe switching to the playlist I think you've been creating every so often with songs I talk about. Admit it, even if you don't always like my taste in music, you check the songs out. Maybe one of these days Mr. Scratchy, you'll let me know what your song of the night is?

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Song of the night

Midnight of this Life  by Headstones.
I've got the song stuck in my head tonight, another one of those situations where listening to it just seemed to dig it deeper instead of getting over the song.

Damn it, I miss Dimmer on my weekly tv.  Strange to think that, but I really really do.  I'll have to really give the character in my fairy tale based on him a massive story boost to make up for it. 

Speaking of storylines I'm so not happy with, the Pack being torn to pieces. Hate it. Understand why they decided it was a good time to go with that plot, but I'm still hoping they sew them back together soon. And not make the fans have to wait like five years.
Will be fun though to see Mad Hatter's character really go nutballs. Hey, here's an idea, have him start coming to the ring with Rebel without a Cause's action figure treating it like a voodoo doll, sticking pins and stuff into it. That would be an interesting road to go down. That's what I would write for his storyline if I was in the writer's chair. 

And speaking of Mad Hatter... dude how's the arm?

And as always...Mr. Scratchy; Herman, I imagine you tonight, checking in with a cup of tea in hand, for some reason I think you've got a headache. I imagine you dressed in grey pants, a quarter sleeved shirt that fits like a glove in white, and you're munching on chocolate covered peanuts.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Box that up

I was talking to G-Babbs, this morning just outside of the grocery on my way to mom's, when my across the hall neighbour spotted us.  He came over to where we were standing, G-Babbs's dog growling and shivering like he wasn't sure if he should like the dude or not.

Neighbour-:"I heard you're moving."

Me-:"Who told you?"


G-Babbs-:"He's got a big mouth." she grabbed her dog picking it up to keep him quiet. 

Neighbour-:"You are a good quiet neighbour, going to suck once you're gone."   

G-Babbs elbowed me, I elbowed her back. "That's because I was never home. Spent all my time at mom's."

Neighbour-:"Well, if you need any help, moving stuff just let me know."

Me-:"Thanks. I'll most likely need to hire movers and I have no idea what that's going to cost? So, yeah I'll most likely be needing help when the time comes. Thanks."

He just stood there for a few seconds. "So are you moving in with your mom then?"

Me-:"No! No, that!"  G-Babbs smirked making a noise. "I'm needing to move cause of all the stairs since my knee. No, I'm as healed now as I'm ever going to be. And I just can't afford the rent hike."

He nodded, made a comment about his new hair cut, and smiled grabbing a cigarette but didn't light it. "Yeah my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, she had to move cause of disability and not being able to afford where she was anymore either. Totally sucks. I mean, I'm just me and I'm finding it difficult with a full time job, well part time now, but I don't know how much longer I can handle it there either. The rent is ridiculous."

G-Babbs tugged on my purse strap gesturing towards the grocery. "We shouldn't keep you, we need to get a few things and head back to her mom." 

My neighbour nodded and was off then towards the apartment building while I walked a bit with G-Babbs and her dog. "Huh."

Me-:"Huh what?"

G-Babbs-:"He's cute."

Me-:"Don't remind me."

G-Babbs-:"How long he been living there?"

Me-:"Not completely sure. He moved in when I had my knee injury two years ago, then he left or so I thought cause there was an older woman living there, and he's been back the last couple of months. So I really have no idea what's going on."

G-Babbs-:"And you're sure that older lady wasn't his girlfriend, excuse me ex-girlfriend?"

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

She slapped my arm nodding back towards the direction he'd gone in as we entered the grocery, her little dog firmly in hand. I spotted Storm working and asked him if he could get me some more boxes.

G-Babbs-:"Doesn't matter? A guy, a young cute buck like that offers to help you move and you say it doesn't matter? Spill it. What's going on with you two?"


G-Babbs-:"You saying you aren't sleeping with him?"

Me-:"I'm not sleeping with him. He's like married with a kid."

G-Babbs-:"He didn't say anything about a wife and kid. In fact he made it very clear he's single. I saw the way he was leaning towards you. I say go for it. You deserve it."

Me-:"Ex wife, ex-girlfriend, current girlfriend. Doesn't matter, he's still got a young kid. So not going to even think about it."

G-Babbs-:"Well, then you're making a mistake cause he's obviously got a crush on you."


Monday, June 9, 2014

post it note June 9th 2014

Dear Herman:

Mercury is in retro for the next few weeks. Crap will happen big time. Traffic jams, computers having meltdowns, messages getting mixed up or missed. And situations you thought were done will show up to drive you nuts. I wish I had read my horoscope this morning, cause then I would have been prepared for the countless chain of bad that's pooped on my day, but I didn't. I didn't get around to reading it till just now. Hindsight.

Anyways, I imagine you checking in tonight, dressed in shorts, the kind with pockets, and those pockets stuffed with junk. Literally, a donut in one pocket, two packs of sugar for your takeaway coffee in the other along with napkins and your wallet. I imagine you wearing a yellowy-orange shirt that has a big stain from having spilled soup on yourself, and those wire rimmed glasses I think you wear, feeling a bit loose. And during all that, I think you misplaced your watch. But now that you've read my upper part of this post, and you know once again Mercury is in retrograde, it all makes sense.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

7:30 am post itNote

Dear Herman:

It's just after 7:30 am EST here, temp +5C, and sunny for once. Song stuck in my head "Bang Bang" the Cher version.

Wherever you are, I do hope you got more sleep then I have been lately.

I imagine you checking in this morning, licking the corner of your mouth, crumbs from a blueberry muffin sticking to your lips, dressed in a baseball cap, khakis coloured pants, a brown shirt and dark hoodie.

Smile, Smirk and Snarl.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014


Got a message a bit ago from my cousin Walsh.  "Did you watch the show?"

Me-:"Yes. And I saw it."

Walsh-:"Haha! Your boys are done. Toast."

Me-:"Ruin my mood why don't you?"

Walsh-:"It was bound to happen. No one stays together forever."

Me-:"I'm hoping they pull a swerve. Too many fans are going to be pissed at this storyline, and I hope by the end of the week, the story is fixed and it's all a swerve for Rebel without a Cause's character."

Walsh-:"That I'd like to see...they did have him looking, I don't know..."

Me-:"Angry, but neutral."

Walsh-:"How can you be angry and neutral?"

Me-:"Usually when they have a big heel turn like that, the character smiles or blows up. Rebel without a Cause didn't do anything. Just had this intensity...if I didn't know better, I'd say he looked torn, heartbroken...wonder if it was a last minute storyline? His acting has improved."

Walsh-:"I hope your right and it's a swerve. Was thinking about getting tickets for one of the shows next month for the Southern Ontario shows. Wouldn't be any good if they break the Pack up."

Me-:"Rub it in some more."

Walsh-:"Would you like some salt in that wound? With them touring through here, you could meet them."

Me-:"Um...???? They're not coming here."

Walsh-:"If they drive through town on their way to their tour dates. You never know, right place at the right time..."

Me-:"And I thought you were suppose to be the logical one? Dude, that's just...just..."

Walsh-:"You can't argue with me on it. Haha! Could happen. Totally could."

Me-:"I don't see it. Giant ouija board says no."