Thursday, September 25, 2014

Tidbits Sept 25th

I was writing. Six pages into a new story, the writer's block beaten it would seem for now, and I hear this high pitched wail. Like something you would hear in an old Tarzan movie. Totally broke my concentration.
Okay, nothing I can do about it but sit there looking at the new story. A minute later, it happens again, only it was right outside my living room window. I got up, opened the blinds and peeked out to see what was going on.

There, was a man in the parking lot/on the lawn, wearing a traditional Native headdress, dancing. Not really unusual in this city since our city is mostly Native.

The odd of it was he wasn't wearing anything else. That was a little on the disruptive side. The cops must have been called, because they showed up and took him away.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Dirty Laundry 39

Message came in  just after 8pm.  "Your man is on. Are you watching?"

I was watching tonight's wrestling, so I didn't answer my cousin right away. It was funny, I was laughing at the stupidity of it all.

Me-:"I'm so beyond tired of your teasing. What's up?"

Walsh-:"Nothing. Watching the show with the kids. So no news then?"

Me-:"Just how bored are you?"


Me-:"And I thought I was bad, you're like worse then me."  

Walsh-:"Yep. What are you going to do about it?"

Me-:"...the black tank makes him look like he should be standing on a corner with a lolli in his mouth asking old men if they want company while handing them viagra...the grey was better..."


Me-:"Mad Hatter's shirt. I just keep thinking of the male hookers who hang out on Simpson street."

Walsh-:"Ah, yeah does doesn't it? Write him about it. Haha."  

Me-:" Dracula movie..."

Walsh-:"You and your damned vampires..."

Me-:"Well, needed a topic change..."

Walsh-:"No we didn't. You give up too easily on people."

Me-:"Who'd I give up on?"

Walsh-:"Uh Mad Hatter duh."

Me-:"Need to give up on you."

Walsh-:"You wouldn't have any friends then. Hahaha!"

Me-:"True... maybe Mr. Scratchy got pissed off with the whole Mad Hatter is him thing?"

Walsh-:"Uh...don't think so. I think you're just so stubborn you'd rather be right then happy."

Okay, I didn't have a reply for that. He's got a point, I am one of those people who have a difficult time giving in to others.

post it 22nd Sept

Dear Herman:

Well, midnight has come and gone, and I don't know why, but I really thought this time you were going to step out of the shadows. Damn, I feel stupid.

It's the Autumn Equinox, which is the pagan holiday connected to the harvest and basically what Thanksgiving is based on. 

Watched the ppv few hours ago, good to see Mad Hatter back on weekly television. Maybe it will fix my writer's block a bit?

...I imagine you checking in tonight,  dressed for bed in dark sweat pants, navy blue I think and...that's it. I think you're reading this, cigarette hanging out of your mouth, a sadness in your eyes. Why do I think there is a sadness...because it's how I'm feeling. That and really stupid.
I imagine you slumped over your laptop or tablet or whatever it is you read me on, running your hand through your hair, twice, and wondering about all of it.

Tell Werewolf King, I hope he gets well soon.

Smile smirk and snarl.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Dirty Laundry 38

Phoned buzzed just after 9pm, it was my cousin Walsh. Surprise surprise, I swear he's the only one other then my mom I talk to anymore.

Walsh-:"how's it going? Heard anything?"

He was referring to the whole Mr. Scratchy revealing himself by tomorrow night.


Walsh-:"How's everything else? The grocery boy ask you out yet?"

Me-:"Haven't seen him, last few times I've been there he wasn't working. Maybe he was only working for the summer?"

Walsh-:"What are  you going to do about it? Hahaha."

Me-:"Uh, nothing. You're up to something again, what is it?"

Walsh-:"Nothing. Totally behaving myself. Just got back from hockey practice..."

Me-:"You didn't get hurt did you?"

Walsh-:"...what no I'm not you. Ice is my friend. Just the guys were talking about getting together and having a poker night..."

Me-:"What's that got to do with me?"

Walsh-:"...tomorrow and watching the ppv. Reminded me that you said you were giving Mad Hatter till then to admit it's him. Thought I'd check."

Me-:"Don't you think I would have let you know if Mr. Scratchy finally admitted who he is? "

Walsh-:"Um yeah."

Me-:"Then yeah, that should tell you something if I haven't told you anything or blogged it for that matter. "

Walsh-:" Still have till tomorrow night."

Me-:"Then what? Say he does open up, then what? He's been in the shadows for so long..."

Walsh-:"Don't think negative."

Sunny side up with a side of fabulous

I was out of coffee. Crime in my world. It was too early for the grocery to be open yet, so I headed to the sandwich shop few doors down. One medium cup of coffee should have taken about five minutes to get there, stand in line and get back given the place had just opened for the day, should have been empty.  Dude, how wrong I was. 
I walked in, and saw these two guys sitting in the corner looking hung over to the tenth degree, one I've never seen before, the other, I haven't seen in a few years. 

JTGG-:"OH MY GODDESS!" he stood up from his seat, hands at his throat mouth open wide in mock shock. Jordan was dressed in silver pants that looked to be about five sizes too small, fur covered moccasin boots with the little pom-poms, and a navy hoodie zipped up. His hair still looked like he was trying to be Medusa all in crazy dredlocks. I could not stop looking at the moccasins, they were cool. "What are you doing here?"  he said the word you as if he was tasting something bad.

Me-:"I live here. I thought you were off in Toronto like the rest of the world?"

JTGG-:"Just home for a few days to visit my mom. I'd hug you but I've just been dancing...oh come here." he hugged me in that fake tv way with the barely touching air kiss people give. "Oh my goddess! You look terrible." he started to pick at my hair. "You haven't dyed it lately I see, you're all grey here."  he gave me a drunken smile. "So what's new?" Jordan started then to jiggle his hips as if he were listening to music, which I realized he was when I saw the little cord for his iPod.

Me-:"Nothing really. Yourself?"

JTGG-:"I'm dancing, at this fabulous little place back home in Toronto." he leaned over picking up his coffee cup, not drinking it, just holding it in his hand like it was a trophy. "You'd love it, love it! All these hot guys come there all the time, it's become so fabulous since ladies night has turned into drag night now, so you know, much better." he nodded to his friend. Who hadn't said a thing, and seemed really out of place next to Jordan, dressed just in jeans and a sweater. "When are you coming to Toronto? It will be fabulous to have you there."

I shrugged. "Not anytime soon. Totally broke, maybe next year?"

I could tell he was bored with me, as he sat back down for a few seconds looking at his breakfast which was an egg and bacon on a wrap. He used to be one of the biggest vegans ever, one of the reasons I became vegetarian to begin with. Strange seeing him shoving bacon into his mouth. Saying goodbye, I shuffled over to the counter and ordered my coffee and left.

I used to love the word fabulous, now I'll just think of Medusa when I hear it.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Everyone loves a star

I got a call from my aunt, Walsh's step-mom, earlier.  "Did you get the invite for the conference next week?"  Translation, she's doing another of her lectures on how processed foods are destroying our lives. Her latest kick.

Me-:"I did, thanks."

Aunt-:"Good. I expect you to show up. I noticed you don't have any presence online."

Me-:"What do you mean?"

Aunt-:"I was checking everyone out online, and noticed you haven't done anything in over a year."  I have no idea what my aunt was actually getting at given I blog couple times a week on a bunch of different topics, not too mention the fairy tale.  Which I mentioned to her. "You need photos and videos."

Me-:"What for?"

Aunt-:"I was at this really great conference today, about how to make a better impression in business, and how everything is visual, and I thought about how you said you were doing that soulmate book too that my friend is doing, and it occurred to me; you need to have a bigger impression online."

Me-:"There's photos and stuff of me online."

Aunt-:"I haven't seen anything of you that's recent."  Okay, she got me there, nothing since my knee injury which was almost three years ago.  "On average a person has say fifteen people who find them attractive. The minute someone puts up a photo or whatever on Facebook of themselves, that turns into a hundred. You following me?"


Aunt-:"Then you have someone who's famous right, and no matter what someone looks like, the second they become famous they have thousands of followers, millions of people who adore them right?"

Me-:"I agree."

Aunt-:"So if you want to find Mr. Right, put yourself out there. Add some new photos."

Me-:"I'll think about it."

Aunt-:"Don't think, do."

We talked a bit about her latest classes, and her friend's progress with the whole looking for her soulmate, and the whole time I was thinking that she sort of had a point.  

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

A post it note 9th sept

Dear Mr. Scratchy:

I got tried of looking at the cursor blinking at me on a blank page, taunting and teasing me. Writer's block is about as much fun as a bundle of  dead mackerel on a toy train set.
So, I thought I would write you a note.

God, I wish I knew if you even appreciated these? 

Anyways...I imagine you checking in tonight, a flowered mug in hand, some sort of paper cup or travel mug filled with coffee. I imagine you exhausted from your day, still feeling the need to get a late workout squeezed in. I imagine you are wearing a brown baseball cap on backwards covered in paint, a grey quarter sleeved shirt, and dark pants- also brown- and work boots. I imagine you've got the little wire rimmed glasses on, and you're chewing on a plastic spoon from your coffee.
I imagine you singing the old disco song "Staying Alive", cause it was playing in the coffee shop when you got your coffee and now it's stuck in your head.
I imagine you reading this, rolling your eyes but nodding with a smile, one that crinkles up your eyes just enough and makes them sparkle. And now you are thinking of moose.
I imagine that you've actually thought it over more then once about the idea of shifting out of the shadows and letting me know who you truly are by midnight of the next ppv in two weeks. Which of course would mean your buddy Igor would be smug, because I imagine he's elbowed you more then once telling you to step into the light.
I imagine you are a decent cook. I imagine you painting and drawing every chance you get. I imagine you reading my fairy tale the second I write something, laughing at it, rolling your eyes at the characters, and thinking "I knew it! I so knew she'd do that to them!" I imagine you reading this scratching at your right side like a lunatic.

smile, smirk and snarl.

Sunday, September 7, 2014


When it comes to relationships, there is just so much crap out there.

I've infamously had a string of relationships that just did not work. Disappointing one night stands that left me feeling like the man would have preferred I wasn't even there. I've taken dating advice from friends and family, that just fell flat. I've been asked for dating advice from friends and family that 97% of the time, just left me confused as to why they would ask me given they knew my love life was crap. I've taken the advice given by experts that just didn't work. Advice from books, from magazines, from websites, from television shows/movies. And yet, I'm still single.

What up with that?

What is it about relationships that leaves so many of us confused and feeling alone?  We envy those who manage to get it right, while secretly or not so secretly hating them for it. I think it's also the real reason society loves the rich and famous so much. Knowing that no one is immune to the falldown of bad romantic choices.

I'm not even too sure what caused this all to pop into my brain this morning, but there you go. We all know that finding love/relationships feels like the hard part, but in truth it's the easy; keeping it is the difficult. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Must be a Friday

Got a message about twenty minutes ago. "Are you watching the show?"  It was my cousin Walsh.


Walsh-:"Did it freeze up?"

Me-:"Yeah. Thought it was my tv."

Walsh-:"No. Ours too. Speaking of frosty things...what's up with your new grocery boy?"

Me-:"Love it when you read me. Nothing, haven't been back to the grocery since."

Walsh-:"Scared? Haha!"

Me-:"No, haven't needed to. Think I should be scared?"

Walsh-:"Na. Wear make-up when you do go. Add some colour to you."

Me-:"That would involve buying make-up first. I tossed everything that I hadn't used in the last six months."

Walsh-:"Uh okay....damn, tv froze again on my end."

Me-:"Yeah here too. Sucks."

Walsh-:"That's life for you."

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The boy by the freezer

One of the things I love about the new apartment is that there is a grocery right next door. Fifty feet from my building. I was just there few minutes ago, and one of the stock boys was staring at me. Like slowly pushing his cart of stuff to the freezer, walking parallel to my pace, and when I looked over at him, he looked away speeding up.

This is the third time this week he's done that. I'm not too sure if I should be creeped out or flattered?

Here's the big thing about it, he looks exactly like the Reporter my aunt was hot to get me with. So either he's moonlighting or he's got a twin brother.

Let's just hope he's tame, and not the kind of guy who should have stalker in his name.