The one who got away

I came across an email from last year this time that I had forgotten about.
It was a horoscope reading I had done for the year.   In it, it talked about there being a man coming into my life in early January (2011) who would interfere with me getting together with the one I'm suppose to be with. It continued to say that I needed to avoid this man until middle of September (2011)

As I look back over things, I see that Storm started talking to me back in January and ironically, stopped talking to me middle of September.
Has my semi-crush on him destroyed my future? Did me putting energy into that whatever it was, take away from the energy I was suppose to be putting into finding Mr. Scratchy?

I may never know.
The really odd thing is, that type of horoscope reading is not something I would have normally forgotten.  It's the type of thing in the past I would have opened and read every single day and lived in total fear of meeting the wrong guy.

As far as life as the grocery goes,  Zane has gone off to university full time; I haven't seen him at the store at all in the last month.   Conrad hasn't been on shift either, I have no idea what happened to him. The Drama Queen, I bumped into her yesterday when she was on her break and I was coming back from the liquor store {I needed a cocktail} and her only topic was her husband having to work late.

Then there is Storm. 
As much as I hate to admit it, I'm still hurt about the fact he's ignoring me.   I have no idea what the situation is, but I'm wondering if maybe he's dating someone again?
And I'm still not sure I even really ever liked him. 

Tidbits-Thurs Aug 18th

I had to go to the grocery with mom tonight.  Thankfully, it was dead. The Drama Queen was working, as was Conrad. 

As I was dutifully following mom around as she filled her cart, I saw Conrad come out of the back room and stand there with this look on his face.  Something close to shock something close to the look a puppy has when it sees you.

He then started to wander around with nothing to do, popping up at the end of each isle we were in.  Normally I would dig something like that happening, but not tonight, I was stuck having to shop with mom. 

As we got into line for check out,  TDQ pulled me aside and started talking about extra shifts and a weekend she's taking off for the States.  Conrad, was standing a few feet away snapping his fingers and adjusting his uniform when I noticed he had a black Iron Maiden shirt sticking out under it.  Then he started to play the stare-look at the floor- stare- look at the floor game.

I know, these guys are confusing.  And yes, that is me in the photo.

The groupie syndrome

I once heard Patricia Kennealy-Morrison, say  "everyone is somebody's groupie"   (well read it on her blog once actually)  It's a quote I have used a few times  and one I pretty much live by. 

I was getting stuff for supper, and for once the store was nearly dead, and I spotted two girls no more then about 15 years old trekking through the grocery giggling like mad; looking for someone.  It's not difficult to figure out they were there for either  Conrad or Zane.
Honestly, I did not stick around to find out.  Both of whom were in the stock room in back. 

Jealousy would have been my first thought, but when it wasn't, I shocked myself.  What went through my mind first was defeat.  Second, they're so young.  Next was, I guess we make idiots of ourselves over men at any age. And last was, everyone has groupies.  Then there was some jealousy and a slight bitterness. 

Simply because, Conrad has been starting to pay some attention to me and Zane is forever pulling the staring -look away-stare-smile-look away-stare-walk past bumping into my shoulder-  thing that guys like to do. 
I know, it's like high school never ended.

The difference between myself and these girls is that they knocked on the door to the back room; and demanded attention, and that's something I'd never dream of doing.  It's just not in me to be that bold.

Teenaged groupies 1   - Me  0

Tuesday Tidbits

Walking out of grocery to see Conrad coming in for work.  He spotted me and started to fidget with his hoodie like he was suddenly worried about how he looked. He's been away on holiday or something for the last few weeks {or so I am guessing as I have not seen him on shift lately} and I noticed he's gained a few pounds and I think grown about an inch taller {is that possible after the age of 23?}  I turned to catch him looking at me over his shoulder then blush wildly and started to look at his shoes.

That's new and I have to say exciting!  Maybe I should resume my pursuit of him?

As I walk out of the parking lot, I see Mr. iPod also leaving the building. He walks on to the edge of the lot and then a red car speeds up beside him.  There is a blonde girl driving and what looks like a little boy in the back seat.  He got in the car, blushing as he spotted me.

What is it about the guys around here with their blushing smiles lately?  This is all I seem to get from men, a shy blush and quick smile.

You don't want him

I was on my way to mom's, and as I passed the grocery, I saw that Doris was outside having a smoke. She's one of the ones who works the express check out. I stopped and chatted for a few minutes, and spotted Conrad coming into work.
Doris spotted me spotting him.

"Don't waste your time with him. You don't want him." she said as she lit her smoke.

"What's wrong with him? Is he married?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"Is he gay?"

"Don't think so." she took a very long drag on her cigarette trying not to blow the smoke in my face, but the wind had other ideas. All I can say is I was this close to asking for a cigarette.  and I don't smoke.  Is there such a thing as Second Hand Smoke Addiction?  If so, I think I might have that.

"Then what? Is he a total player?"

"Not that I am aware of.  No. Just I know you, and he's not who you want. You won't be happy if you started up with him."

"Okay. You lost me."  I actually started to think maybe she had her sights on him herself, or maybe that he'd said something to her about me or something. I was starting to feel like total crap, paranoia and everything. "Why, would you tell me not to go after him?"  seriously, I was starting to sneak glances at my reflection in the glass door of the grocery taking stock of myself.

" Oh come on!" she made a noise as she gestured nearly knocking me in the face. "He looks like The Celebrity. Don't go there. Just don't do that to yourself."

"You think he looks like The Celebrity?"  okay, yeah now that Doris said it out loud, Conrad does have the same height, hair colour, eye colour, nose, and yeah I can't lie, it's crossed my mind a few times. Body wise though, Conrad is thicker through the waist and smaller in the shoulders.

"Fine don't listen to me. You're going to do what you want anyway.  But Conrad's just..." she butted her cigarette and took out her cell phone checking for messages before finishing the small coffee beside her on the picnic table the staff use for their breaks. "I see the way you look at him. I think you're building yourself up for a big let down." Doris headed then back into the grocery.

Well isn't that a kicker. I've just basically been told I'm not good enough for the produce stock boy. Thanks. 

Mr. iPod continued

I went to the grocery, which frankly I fairly nearly live at, and was semi-shocked to see that Mr. iPod was working there now.  Beauty.
As well as Conrad being on shift.  

It was odd.  Mr. iPod kept staring.  Conrad kept staring.  But, every time I headed towards where Conrad was because I wanted to finally strike up a conversation with him,  someone would slide up to him first and take him off to another spot in the store. This happened twice in a twenty minute time frame. 

As far as Mr. iPod, I couldn't get near him either for the two other stock boys that were working beside him.  There was a massive cart of bananas that they were working on.

I swear the universe is keeping me single right now.

Chad???

"What are you going to do about Chad?"  Jessie said.

"Chad? There's a Chad? Who Chad? When we get a Chad?"  Me sounding as clueless as I felt.
This was a few days ago, the day before Valentines. I had been coming home from mom's and stopped in the grocery for flowers, as they were on sale. She pointed to the new guy working the Starbucks which was at the other end of the bakery, across from the flower stall.

"Well, I suppose that answers my question."  she laughed for I don't know how long, her bubble gum pink lipstick nicking her bottom teeth.  I swear when you are over the age of 23, any colour of lipstick other then dusty rose or camel should be banned. "He has been trying to get your attention for the last ten minutes."

I'm always trying to get a man's attention, then I get really suspicious when I get it. Like waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I looked over at him.  Nothing exciting really.
Blonde, blue eyes, over 6 feet tall, looks like he should be running marathons not running a coffee shop. And more importantly, so totally not my type.
Add to that he couldn't possibly been more then 22 himself.  Too much even for this Puma.

"He thinks you're a writer." she continued as she wrapped my single blue rose.

"I am a writer. Just not published."  Okay so now I felt like crap. She continued telling me that Chad the new Starbucks guy, was hanging out a lot with The Drama Queen on their lunch breaks the last week.  So god only knows what she's been saying.  The line up started to get fairly deep then so I took that as my cue to leave.  But not before doing a full 450 plus smile towards Conrad one of the stock boys who works in the produce area.  On purpose for Chad the new Starbucks guy to see.

Now, if only Conrad would do something other then smile back.