Friday, March 11, 2011

Marry or die trying

I was out the other night with my buddy the Musician.  He's got a bit of a crush on this life guard, so we went to the hotel where she was working the pool area.  Only she wasn't around that night, or at lest he didn't recognize her.

We sat in the bar just off the pool area for about awhile before giving up and ending up at a coffee shop.
My buddy said something to me that made me do a double take.   

"I want to be married by my next birthday."  

I nearly choked on my coffee.  He's birthday is rapidly approaching.  I asked him why, he shrugged and just said that he was going to find the Mrs. Musician or die trying. 
I have recently helped him update his profile on a dating site he's on, and have even gone with him to scout out his crushes.  Not too mention, he's got a different date lined up for the rest of the week. 
He's not playing games, or is he?

We all want to find that special person, the one that we can call true love.   I know I'm currently looking.  The difference here is,  I'm looking for THE one, not just anyone, which I'm starting to think my buddy has begun to do.  I'm starting to fear he's going to settle on the first girl who makes it to a second date just to be engaged.

The really crazy of this is, I was talking like he is just a few years ago.  And I have to say, he's the first man I've ever heard talk like this. 

Monday, March 7, 2011

Keep your lips off

Crazy night. Long conversation with my buddy the Musician.  He went to a party, drank too much and ended up with more then one chick hanging off him all night.
I laughed and asked why he was upset.
He told me he was really digging on Chick#1, but Chick#2 was who he arrived with and was getting a lift home with.   Oh not good at all. 
To top it all off, he gave Chick#3 a lap dance. 

I must remember next time I go drinking with him, that he's not allowed any tequila.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Mr. iPod continued

I went to the grocery, which frankly I fairly nearly live at, and was semi-shocked to see that Mr. iPod was working there now.  Beauty.
As well as Conrad being on shift.  

It was odd.  Mr. iPod kept staring.  Conrad kept staring.  But, every time I headed towards where Conrad was because I wanted to finally strike up a conversation with him,  someone would slide up to him first and take him off to another spot in the store. This happened twice in a twenty minute time frame. 

As far as Mr. iPod, I couldn't get near him either for the two other stock boys that were working beside him.  There was a massive cart of bananas that they were working on.

I swear the universe is keeping me single right now.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Partners in Crime

Ever notice how sometimes one conversation will lead into another, sometimes with a different person.

I ended up in a really crazy conversation with Walsh, one of my cousins.  Walsh said "Maybe he's jealous? Have you ever thought of that?"  Meaning The Celebrity.  I laughed so hard I hurt my ribs. "Think about it. You've spent all this time like, like, like just  talking about him, and like  no matter what he might have done in the past, you've like 'always been there' right, so now you've smartened up and started talking about that French guy..." 
I was still half laughing, holding my sides but trying to listen to what Walsh was saying. Walsh was totally stoned out of his mind by the way, which made this conversation so much more interesting and I can say without a doubt, why Walsh was willing to have the conversation with me.  "That chef you started talking about." 

Oh. Yes. The celebrity Chef.  I wonder what the chances are of the hot French celebrity chef  noticing that I've been blogging about him? 

"And just maybe maybe you know. The Celebrity is feeling like you abandoned him cause you're not you know, you any more. You're someone else now. Someone who likes food." 

"I've always liked food. No secret there. One of the big rants to do with The Celebrity." 

"But now, youre like you know, not all his you know."

"No I don't know, but go on. "  my laughing had turned to hicups. Painful ones by the way.

"You know, you know. He thinks like that maybe he thinks you're not  going to talk about him any more cause you're not his anymore. But he's still yours and you are still his but you're not cause like you know you're like that new one's now, the Frenchie with the spatula." he made a to and fro motion that had me laughing again. "And like you know maybe maybe he's like thinking you aren't interested anymore."

All I could think was, why isn't my family ever this sweet to me when they are sober? 

He continued on about a few other things and came back round with a simple "Have you ever thought that? He's hurt you've started giving all your attention to the Frenchie?"

"But everyone keeps reminding me it's just a blog. The Celebrity hasn't even read my blog in months. At lest he hasn't written anything on the company one to indicate he's been reading me lately. It's more like loosing a job."

Walsh smiled at me. "Doesn't mean he doesn't like you. Maybe he's like you know, seeing that you are always talking about him, seeing you as being there. And you don't know could be that he's been screwed around by fans before dating him for his money." Walsh  blushed as he mentioned having to get home before his wife got back from the store.  " you know, cause it's just like you know, hard to trust when you've been hurt before." 

Again, I ask, why can't my family be this sweet when they are sober?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Mr. iPod

Every day, I cross paths with Mr. iPod. 
He's 5 foot 11, with short dark hair and dark eyes. 

And every day on my way to my mother's or the bank or the grocery, I always seem to see him. He's heading for the bus that goes to the university and I'm heading the other side of the street. We always seem to cross the street at the same time.

He never smiles at me. No head nod that most people in polite society give when they realize they've crossed your path before. 
No, Mr. iPod always ducks his eyes just as we cross each other's path on the corner. 

Today, I turned for an extra few seconds to look, sort of hoping to catch him looking back.  No such luck.  As Mr. iPod was turned towards the church fairly drooling over a stick skinny 4 foot nothing girl in very tight jeans and 6 inch shag me heeled boots who was cutting across the parking lot. 

I'm starting to think I really am cursed.