Wednesday, April 29, 2015

post it note 29th April

My ears -both of them- were burning for almost 2 solid hours this afternoon. Damn, I hope it was you Herman is all I have to say.  I'm not famous, I don't have any reason for people to be talking about me for that long? Just weird.

I just saw what seems like a couple breaking up, or in the vary lest, one of them cheating on the other. New couple who just moved into the building, down the hall from me actually.  This very good looking guy who moved in about a month ago at the far far far end of the hall, helped them with their stuff. Then the husband/boyfriend went out, and the wife/girlfriend spent nearly half an hour in the hallway just outside my door, flirting with the good looking guy. Husband/boyfriend returned and found them in the hallway still, and there was some doors slammed.
I have a feeling they are going to make living here a hellstorm of fights.

I've been surrounded by money people. I don't like money people. I like creative people. Hopeless romantics who wear their world on their sleeves. Money people make my skin crawl and give me an upset stomach.  But, the last week and a half, I've had to deal with money people. People who's sole purpose is making more at all costs. No pun intended. Money, whether I have it or not, doesn't really bother me. Love on the other hand...well I'm always searching for that.  Maybe that's why I never seem to have it? I'm always looking. Need to be more grateful for the bits of love that has come into my life.

Anyways...I think Mr. Scratchy, that you are checking in tonight wearing something with a bear print on it...a t-shirt or hat can't make up my mind...and dark sweat pants, I want to say brown but...saying faded brown. I think you've got pasta for dinner, and a glass of bourbon in front of you. I think you're sitting there right now, those tiny wire rimmed glasses pushed up on your nose, your hands covered in paint from your latest project. And I think you're shaking your head at me stunned.

Smile smirk and snarl.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Dirty Laundry 48

Phone rang, it was my cousin Walsh. "My step mom said she saw you at the cafe."

Me-:"Yeah, tarot day."

Walsh-:"So do you think I should enter the wrestling auditions?"

Me-:"That's a joke right?"


Me-:"Well, besides the fact you're too out of shape, and have asthma not to mention we're both too old cause there's no way in hell you're going to be a wrestler without me attached."

He laughed at me, well giggled actually. "So you don't think I could do it?"

Me-:"Not in a million years. If you had to write an ad for me, what would you say?"

Walsh-:"What do you mean?" I could hear him rattling the silverware over the phone, slamming drawers.

Me-:"They asked me to write up something to promote myself for the readings. I have no idea what to say?"

Walsh-:" clue. So it's going well then?"

Me-:"Been a few customers. I have to split it with the owner though."

I heard him make a noise and I swear he winced. "You got pimped out. Wow, never thought I would ever say something like that about you."

Me-:"yeah me and pimped out doesn't belong together in the same sentence. I want to go watch the main event now. Don't do anything stupid. Last thing I want to see is your video up in a montage of mockery."

Walsh-:"Lest I know how to sell myself."

Me-:"That sounds so wrong." 

Post it 27th day

Dear Herman:
I've been feeling off since Friday morning. To the point, I had to cancel my tarot readings on Friday. Just wanted to crawl into bed and stay there. Was fine on Saturday after I pushed myself to leave the house. Readings went well. Then bad again when I got home. Yesterday, was good for the half hour I left the building, but by the time I started to make supper around 3pm, just wanted to cry; and ended up with a scorcher of a migraine. I'm feeling this way again today. But, going to push myself to get across town and do the readings scheduled for today.  I know, that I'm picking up something from someone. Now Mr. Scratchy, is it you?  Or am I picking up the emotions of someone in this building?

I'm writing it Herman, because if it is something from you I'm tapping into, it means...I'm not sure what it would mean? I just had to ask.

I'm off to catch a bus to tell others stuff they don't want to hear. One of the ladies I did a reading for on Saturday, told me everything I said was right, but it was just stuff she was hoping I wouldn't say. Law suites and bad health for her.

I imagine you reading this, a bowl of cereal in front of you...corn cap on backwards, right leg shaking in boredom and nerves. Dressed in dark jeans and a yellow plaid shirt.

P.S. I knew Igor would win last night...

Sunday, April 26, 2015

post it April 26th 2015

I was coming out of the grocery, and Mr. Freeze was stacking stray carts. He looked at me, with that look when someone is about to say something, but didn't. He stood there, waited till I was out of the building, and then ran out in front of me. I had stopped to adjust the bags and my purse, and he swung around me like he was lost. Then grabbed a coffee mug that was sitting on an adjoining store ledge, picked it up put it back down and swung around me again. I happen to know that mug wasn't his. I had seen the lady who runs the hair shop two doors away from the grocery out having a coffee and a smoke twenty minutes before when I went into the grocery.
Dude, clearly Mr. Freeze wants to say something to me, good or bad. I don't understand what's holding him back?  If it's something evil he wants to yell at me for, then get it over with already. If it's something nice, then grow a pair and man up.

I'm at the point in my life where I'm so tired of being the one to make the first move. Be it for a relationship or friendship. I've always, and I mean always been the one to give the first invitation or hello or ask for the phone number. It's time for that karma to roll towards me. 

Pay-per-view tonight. I hope Dimmer makes an appearance. I spotted him for all of five seconds few weeks ago on the Monday night show, so good to see his getting some air time again. I like Dimmer. I miss seeing him on weekly tv.
Pass that on there Mr. Scratchy. That Dimmer needs some much overdue air time.
Speaking of the ppv, the segment of the fairy tale I do on the weekend of...been up since Friday. Don't think anyone has caught up with it. I know I usually try to get one segment up the day of a ppv, but since I did one on Friday, didn't today. 

Which brings me, Mr. Scratchy, to the point in this post where I say...I imagine you checking in...exhausted. I think you're emotionally drained. Maybe not physically, but I really get this vibe you're just spiritually tired. I think you're sitting there dressed in black pants...scratch that all puns intended, your in shorts...underwear...not dressed for work yet. You're reading this while you have a coffee, waiting for a text from Igor.

Tell Igor I said hey.  Tell Igor I hope he wins tonight...though I don't think he will. 

Smile smirk and snarl.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Dirty Laundry 47

Knock at the window, looked to see my cousin Walsh was standing there. He had take-away coffees. Handing me one, I let him in. "What's this?"

Walsh-:"I heard about Saturday. How you feeling?"

Me-:"Crappy."  I had done some tarot readings on the weekend, only Saturday was a disaster. I haven't been hugged so much in my life, but the readings themselves were horrible.

Walsh-:"You watch the show last night?"

Me-:"No. Woke up yesterday with my ribs hurting. Felt like I had been used as a punching bag or something, then major migraine. Ended up just back in bed half the day. Why?"

He shrugged smirking like a teenager."You taped it right?"

Me-:"Yeah, watch it later. Why?"

He just stood there grinning. I hate that, our one uncle does that all the time drives everyone bonkers. "Pay-per-view is this weekend."


Walsh-:"Don't let Saturday get to you. Everyone has an off day."

Me-:"What's that got to do with the wrestling?" He shrugged again finishing off his coffee crushing the paper cup trying to be cool. "You still working across the street then?" he nodded.

Walsh-:"Don't give up on the readings. One bad day all it was." he turned heading back out. "You give up on stuff too easily. Like you did on Mr. Scratchy."

Me-:"Didn't give up on Mr. Scratchy."

Walsh-:"Then why haven't you talked about him lately?"

Me-:"Nothing to say."  

He shook his head at me as he left the building heading back over to work. And I paced back and forth in the apartment for awhile just feeling crappy, drinking the bad coffee.  I still have no idea why my ribs were sore yesterday either.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Dirty Laundry 46

I used to get a lot of panic attacks after the car accident, but they stopped about a year after.  It's been a few years and I've been totally fine.  Until last summer. I've had a few small ones since last August, and today was shaping out to be one.
I had an to be somewhere for 12:30pm today, and while getting ready this morning, I was starting to get the beginning vibes of a panic attack. Only I wasn't sure that's truly what it was?
I mentioned the witch community I've recently joined. Or sort of joined. And how clique-y it is. One of the core people, pretty much the center of the universe as far as the community is concerned had a situation. Everyone has been back and forth about it in the last 48 hours.  Even I was feeling it.
Here's the thing, the energies were so taunt, so high, that I couldn't tell if these panicky vibes were my own intuition or just the group collective?  Sucks to be me sometimes.
And now, half the community have been frozen out. A whole group of us who because we're newer, don't exist. How's that for welcome wagon.

Few friends in my life I do have hovering around, keep brushing it off telling me not to take it so personal, that they aren't the right people to be in my life anyways, and that I need to let it go and forget it.
Maybe I don't want to? I know I should, it's got nothing to do with me, but yet I feel like I should take it personal. It's the way I am. Everything is personal until proven otherwise.

So, I sucked it up and went to my appointment. I'm glad I did. The moment I left the apartment and was outside, my mind started to clear, to shift to other things. I actually had fun while out today.

And twice, I saw Jon the repair guy.  Once, while waiting for the bus, he pulled into the parking lot, got out of the truck, looked up at me twice, then waved.  Cool. I love it when men actually notice I'm alive.  The second time, was at the end of the day.  I was coming back from the grocery, and he was waiting for traffic to slow; still on the edge of our parking lot, spotted me and did a u-turn through the parking lot drove to the far end, u-turned back just as I was coming across the divide of our parking lot and the grocery lot, waving as he did.  Feels good to be seen.

I'm having a difficult time trusting my gut lately. Let me rephrase that, I'm having a difficult time deciding if what I'm feeling is intuition or fear?  Are the witch cliques out to get me or am I just paranoid?  Is a married man really married and flirting with me for no good reasons, or is he faking it?  Are there really two Mr. Scratchy?  I don't know?

And if I can't trust my gut, then what good am I as a witch type?

Monday, April 13, 2015

post it note 7:57pm

Dear Mr. Scratchy:

There is a theory that when you find yourself thinking about someone, there's more then a decent change that person is thinking of you.  This past week, I couldn't get my friend Nura off my brain. Haven't talked to her in a few years, and yesterday, we bumped into each other online in a discussion group. Ends up, she's been wondering how I've been for the last week as well.

There are a few omens in this category, about people thinking of you, but I'll save that for another time.

I find myself sitting here tonight, having just made a tray of brownies, waiting for them to cool. Not much else going on...the Monday night show just started, so...

I imagine you Herman, checking in tonight dressed in a pair of black track pants, blue socks, and a grey long sleeved shirt on. I think you've got chalk and charcoal on your hands from drawing one of those paintings I think you do. I imagine you've got a mug of tea beside you on the table, and a large plate of danish. And for some reason I think you've got a big cut on your forehead over your right eye...

as always, smile smirk and snarl.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Dirty Laundry 45

Phone rang, it was my cousin Walsh. "Was the show on last night?"

Me-:"You need to learn how to use the guide on your television. Mocking me for my lack of desire for google yet you can't get the menu button to work on your tv."

Walsh-:"That would involve reading the instructions. Was it?"

Me-:"Yeah it was on after the game at like 1am. So sad, you and uncle B. are the only men who ever call me."

He laughed at that for a few minutes. "Um that is sad. But, I was thinking about your repair man. He's not married you know."

Me-:"Hate to argue, not that's a lie love to argue, but he's got a big ring on his left ring finger so he is."

Walsh-:"I will take you up on that argument and say he's not married."

Me-:"You've got my full attention. Why? Do you know him? What's he said about me? Anything?"

Walsh-:"Don't have a clue who he is. But, I'm betting you the ring's fake. How much you wanna bet?"

Me-:"You going to gamblers anonymous. Why is everything a bet with you?"

Walsh-:"Betting is fun, means people own me stuff. Commenting by the way would mean spell checking and crap and that's too much work. Besides, you type faster then I do."    Took me a minute to get what he was going on about. "Hello? listening?"

Me-:"Nope, got lost on the fake ring part. How can it be a fake ring when it was a real ring? Right there on his hand."

Walsh-:"You're such a moron." he laughed some more at me. "I'm betting you that he puts it on for work so that people don't hit on him. My one buddy who's a cop does it all the time."

Me-:"Sneaky bastards."  I thought about that for a few minutes actually getting a bit mad at the idea. "That's just not fair!"

Walsh-:"Never said it was."

Me-:"Why do it? Why the security blanket if he's just going to be a flirt?"

Walsh-:"He thought you were cute...or maybe he really is married and he's not happy or he's a player just looking to cheat, in which case you don't need him."

Me-:"You're not helping."

I walked away from the conversation unable to get the whole thing off my mind.  Bloody hell, I'll be dreaming about the whole thing now.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Peeping Jon

My computer area is beside my front window. I was sitting here trying to work on the next segment of the fairy tale when I heard footsteps out front of my window.  Don't think much about it given people hover there by the front door of the building while they smoke, while their dogs poop on the grass, while they are working on the lawn etc. Then I saw someone crouched in front of my window trying to see through the small crack in the blinds.
I got up, opened the blinds just enough to see the repair guy from the other week. I scared the hell out of him. Sort of serves him right.
Left the blinds open for a few minutes just trying to understand what the f*** is going on? When I spotted him pass the window twice more, both times looking over at it sheepishly.

I ended up going outside just to check the windows for any cracks or peeled paint or what have you. Nothing for him to have been inspecting the window for. Or the flowerbed for that matter, given it's still too cold here to plant anything.

Should I be scared?

Monday, April 6, 2015

Dirty Laundry 44

I got a message from my cousin Walsh bit ago, there was a link "You seen this?"
Given I had no idea what the link was for, I told him that I most likely hadn't. Then I hit the link. It was a match from few months ago of The Celebrity.  He got beat, but I watched it twice.

Me-:"Cool. He doesn't look any different."

Obviously, my cousin has been lurking around reading the blog. Comments people they do work.  All I could think was damn the boy still has it. He's still beautiful and he's still killer in the ring. Now he's all I'm going to be able to think about.

Walsh-:"Answer me this; how is it you can carry on a conversation with one of the most famous occult guys but you can't talk to The Celebrity or Mad Hatter or Rebel without a Cause?"  I didn't have an answer for him.  He sent the message again waiting. 

Me-:"I've never thought about it like that before."  

Walsh-:"Well think about it! I've thought about it so one of them must have."

Me-:"Oh yeah, I'm sure that The Celebrity is just drooling in anticipation for me to send him an engraved invitation to dinner or something."

Walsh-:"Hahaha! Do it! I dare you to!"

Deja vu. 
Mashed potatoes, gravy...

Lessons learned?

I was talking to Jeff, one of the male witches I've met online in the last few weeks. Yes, one of the gay male witches. Conversation started off in one direction, about the chakra exercises and meditation, then it swung around to something one of the core people posted this morning on their video channel. The chick has never believed in the supernatural/paranormal side of stuff, has been one of the main Wiccans who fiercely does not believe. Then today out of the blue, she's posting a ton of stuff on the topic.
Jeff thinks it's because of something I said in one of my posts, and that she's jealous. I don't see it. I would love to say I do, but given she's got a few hundred people in her wake who interact with her on a daily basis and fall off everything she says, and I have 10 people who haven't even bothered to interact with me after the first week...I see holes in his theory.

Anyways, he then asked me about the other day and the flash I had during the meditation. (talked about it few days ago "Missed Opportunities")  Told him that nothing else has happened.  Then we got into talking about who it was I had the flash of.  Which came around to relationships and second chances.

Jeff-:"Has it occurred to you that this guy is needing to hear something from you?"

Me-:"No. Like what?"

Jeff-:"I don't know, I'm not you or him. But, if you have a hunch about something I guarantee you already know the answer."

Me-:"Yeah, I've heard that before. If you have a hunch the answer lays within. Okay, but how does that work with him?"

Jeff-:"Ask him. Ask the universe, your spirit guides or whatever you work with. The answer will come to you."

Me-:"I'm asking you right now. Jeff oh wise and important guru on life's lessons; what do you think this dude needs from me or wants?"   

Jeff-:"Maybe you broke his heart? Left him feeling like you abandoned him or something?"

Me-:"Doubt that. I've never broken any man's heart. Always my heart that's been left in the blender"

Jeff-:"Well, my gut is telling me that this guy is waiting for you to say something to him specifically. It's up to you to figure out what?"

Right, so back to square one.

Friday, April 3, 2015

And it's not even noon yet

You know when the universe is tossing things at you, you need to pay attention. I was looking through a box where I have old photos stored for art projects, and came across an old wrestling magazine from 2006.  Found a picture of The Celebrity.
Cool.  Went off made coffee, decided I wanted to watch a movie, so digging through a stack of dvds, and I guess I bumped them cause a bunch fell off the shelf scattering across the floor. The one that landed smack dab in the middle was an old wrestling dvd from 2009 for company #2, and The Celebrity was one of the wrestlers on the cover.

Well that put him solidly in my brain this morning. Started to wonder if he still even wrestles, if he does still wrestle, has the industry drained him of life, has he bothered to learn to cook? 

Why the universe would pop him into my brain this morning I have no idea, but poof there he is. So on the off chance he still reads me...hi how are you?

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

post it notes April 1st

Dear Herman:

It's 6:20pm EST here, and I've got to ask, did you do something to your left jaw/side of your nose?  Those crazy ghost pains are springing up again...

Anyways, I saw two hookers get arrested in the parking lot of the grocery store next door.  I was walking into the grocery and there were these two Native chicks standing around the parking lot between the beer store and grocery, asking beer store customers if they were looking for a date and talking about "when it's too dry and they just jam it in".
When I was walking out of the grocery few minutes later, the cops were there and they were taken away. 
I thought the snippet of the conversation was funny actually.

I imagine you checking in, choking on your coffee on that last line, dressed in black track pants with a scuff or stain on the bottom of the right cuff, a yellow shirt that's looking faded with the logo peeled off, and earphones in. Bon Jovi maybe...

as always, Mr. Scratchy, smile smirk and snarl.