Monday, September 26, 2016

Like a hydrogen bomb in your corset

I was at the cafe doing tarot readings on the weekend, and both Pussycat and the Princess were working. Princess was telling us about her latest date.

Princess-:"There was no chemistry. Totally bored me to sleep couldn't wait to leave. Then he hugs me, and asked what I was doing next weekend? I had to tell him there was another guy I'd met few days before who I'd sort of started something with and wanted to be exclusive."

Me-:"So you lied."

Princess-:"No...there is another guy. "

Pussycat turned from the dishes he was stacking into the machine and looked at her. "Wait, didn't I hear this last week?"

Princess-:"Yeah, I had to tell the hippy from last week the same thing. Cause, he was too relaxed."

Me-:"So you lied twice. Two different men were into you and you told them the same lie. Wow."

Pussycat-:"Um...too relaxed? How does that work? Oh forgot, you're Miss Super Extreme Type A Personality where everything has to be so tightly wrung."

I handed Princess my phone so I could get a few photos of me that weren't bad extreme close ups. They came out blurry.

Princess-:"What do you need the photos for?" she smiled wide nodding. "Are you going to do a dating site? Huh are you huh huh?"

Me-:"I've done that in the past and it's never been any good. But I'm glad you are finding it fun."

Pussycat made a few popping noises with his mouth and blushed, which is not something he ever does. Then dropping the dish soap into the machine he stood up and looked over at Princess.

Pussycat-:"I'm bursting here. Okay I can't deny or confirm cause I was sworn to secrecy, but I can say that Bob commented that he really liked the reading the other week."  he had this big grin on his face as he moved around the kitchen getting his phone. "I totally need to show you this dick pick some guy sent me." he started flipping through the little machine while Princess cleared her throat. "Oh right, yes I was sworn to not say anything, but Bob did comment that he enjoyed sitting with you."

Me-:"I had a headache after doing his reading."

Princess-:"Yeah, he's given me a headache sometimes when he's been here too. It's the aftershave he uses when you get too close."

Me-:"No, I really had a migraine for a few days after doing his reading. Like vomit worthy. I literally wanted to puke after doing his reading."

Both stopped what they were doing, Pussycat's face going ten shades of red his eyes wide and Princess's mouth dropping to the edge of her shirt. Pussycat blinked went another shade darker which I didn't think was humanly possible, and then mumbled something as he held the phone up to us.

Pussycat-:"I guess there is no point in continuing."

I left few minutes after that. It didn't sink in till I was half way home what he was doing. He was trying to play matchmaker.  Wonderful, so it's not a case of not being able to find someone, it's just a case of not being able to find someone I can stomach.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Patiently Passing Past Pastimes

I got a message from my cousin Walsh two days ago simply asking "are you going?"  I had no clue what he was talking about?


Walsh-:"The wrestling. Next week. You going?"

Me-:"What wrestling?"

He sent me a link to the facebook page. No sooner did I start checking it out, when my mother called me to tell me she'd seen a flyer for it.  Huh. I find this interesting as I was thinking about my old sports blog and wondering if I should start it up again?  It's gets a bit more synchronized. I ended up with two hits within an hour of hanging up the phone with mother, to my sports blog to an old review I did. The review was about the big named wrestler who is suppose to be coming here for this tour.
Then today, while hanging out at the occult shop, Keira was working, and she asked me if I was going to go? 

Me-:"I haven't decided. But, funny you should mention it. You're like the third person in as many days to tell me it's coming to town."

Keira-:"I think that's your answer. Don't over think it."

I can't help but overthink it. It's just who I am. Then we got talking about Janny and how she snagged a new boyfriend in the last few days. One of the regulars who comes into the occult shop.

Me-:"That's it! This place has been lucky for everyone but me. That's what five of the six! Cause if he's dating a staff member, that's six of the regulars who come here who met someone here."   Keira laughed and nodded and laughed some more.

Keira-:"I never even noticed you know. It's because of you though! You know how you talked me into making those love mojos. Everyone of them bought one. Every single one." she pointed at the little red silken baggies.

Me-:"See, I can fix everyone's love life but my own."

Keira-:"Buy one of the mojos."

Me-:"It's my recipe! I have plenty." I was laughing then, half laughing half pouting. "I don't understand. I swear the universe is taunting me. Big cosmic joke that I'm the butt of."

Keira-:"Well, maybe you'll met Mr. Right at the wrestling?"

Me-:"Or maybe Mr. Best Friend of Mr. Right Who Will Introduce Me..." 

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

post it note Sept 20th 2016

It's just before 3pm here where I am, and for some strange reason, I had this overwhelming urge to come in and write a little note, Mr. Scratchy.  I was working on the next couple of segments of the fairy tale, when I literally felt like something was tugging me towards here. To write a post it for you guys.  And I do mean it that way Herman, I think this is meant for you and one of your buddies. Don't ask, I'm learning to trust my intuition more and when something grabs me, I am just jumping in.

I had the craziest out of nowhere for no point in anything vivid as if it were happening image/vision. A pink fishnet glove. It's got something to do with something, only I have no idea what?  Not something I'd ever wear. In fact, it was a man's hand and they were reaching out to touch my face. Creepy on so many levels. I really kinda hate fishnets.  No, not you then, had to ask.

But, not even the point of why I felt the need to write this. The cards are coming up like madness talking of being stabbed in the back. Of someone out to sabotage. One thing I've learned, is that when the tarots repeat constantly, they will continue to repeat the same cards until I find out what the situation is, or who I am suppose to be helping. And when I say repeating; I mean no matter what deck I use (I have over 20 tarot decks) no matter who I'm doing the readings for or how often they are shuffled (by me or the client) the same few come up every time.  The cheating cards. The 10 of Swords with the 2 of Cups and Lovers. The cups and lovers both reversed. The Lovers card is about choices, and ironically the 2 of Cups is more about relationships.

And now...I imagine you reading this, a cup of hot chocolate in hand, a bagel beside you. I imagine you are wearing a green shirt, jeans and a dark jacket. I don't think you've shaved in a few days and are looking as if a round of sleepless nights have left you zombied.

Okay Herman, consider this a hug from me.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Dirty Laundry 60

I got a text from Pussycat this morning letting me know I'm booked for readings tomorrow at the cafe.

Me-:"Cool. Am I scary? I know I'm not pretty, but am I scary? I was on my way to the store and this car was chugging along beside me, plenty of room for him to get around but, when I looked, he sped off like the devil was in his pants."

Pussycat-:" No doll not scary. Maybe he was just being creepy and when you noticed he freaked?"

Me-:"He was almost looked like the Salesman. But not too sure."

Pussycat-:"I tagged you on the thing for tomorrow. Waaa? Oh nice. Did you see the post, I can't find it anymore?"


Pussycat-:"Reposted, my phone has been doing strange things."

Me-:"Mercury went retrograde."

Pussycat-:"Ahhh. That explains a lot. He was just probably freaked because you caught him looking. Maybe it was the Salesman and he was checking you out?"

Me-:"Then why not say hey?"

Pussycat-:"Maybe because he's a creeper? But doll you're not scary. You could use some more make-up once and a while but not scary. You're a wickedly wonderful witch! Not a pilgrim."