My mind tricked me

I was on my way to the grocery about an hour ago, staring at the construction workers, gazing dreamily into the window of the sandwich shop when I looked up to see this guy. My heart stopped for a half second as I nearly lost by breath.
There was this dude who was about 5 '8, half a mohawk-ish style slicked back, great arms walking a foot and a half ahead of me at warp speed through the parking lot.
Seriously, my brain shut down for the minute and a half as I continued to move on auto-pilot towards the store.  The guy kept looking over his shoulder like he was expecting to be raped or mugged or something.

I got into the store and walked past what I was looking for about five times before my mind cleared. Either I just saw the best look alike ever, or...The Celebrity is in town.

Never saw this dude straight on, so can't say if I've just lost my bleeding mind, or what?  I of course messaged my cousin Walsh asking him if there was any indie wrestling companies in town? Not to his knowledge.

Walsh-: "But...did you know that the Mexican Vampire is in town?"

Me-:"Yeah. He moved back like a year ago. Heard about it on the news...well mom heard about it on the news and told me."

Walsh-:"And you never told me!"

Me-:"Hey Walsh, guess what the Mexican Vampire moved back to town mom said she saw it on the news."

Walsh-:"Not funny. But if he's in town then it's totally possible that you saw The Celebrity."

Me-:"I would rather think it was a look alike. Hate to think I was literally two feet from my favourite wrestler, favourite famous person and..."

Walsh-:"And didn't faint at his feet. Haha!"

Me-:"Pretty much. What if it was him?"

Walsh-:"Then...I don't know? Anything is possible"

Me-:"Had to be a look alike, why would he be sprinting through the city? If it was some crazy off chance The Celebrity was here slumming in our crappy city, wouldn't he be driving?"

Walsh-:"Again, remember anything is possible."

Of course, be it him, look alike, or just a really hot dude; I was looking like the creature from the black lagoon today. Whenever I bother to do hair and make-up and such, the streets are empty like a ghost town. But when I barely run a comb through my hair, I am tripping over hot guys. Figures.

That is seriously all I'm going to be able to think about now. What if and why?

post it note Aug 4th 2015

Dear Herman:

I just wanted to come in and write you a little note.  It's been way too long since I have let myself believe in...well this I suppose. 
The other day, this 20something guy saw me walking down the street and opened a door for me. I wasn't even going into that building, I was headed to the building next to it, but it was just very cool and sweet and so not the kind of thing that happens to me. V-neck shirt and a bra really does do wonders eh?
Definitely the boost I needed that day.

Weird dream about The Celebrity; nothing interesting, nothing steamy sadly enough, just a dream about him cooking eggs. They were scrambled eggs. So weird, so out of place.  Maybe not so much, given the way I would tease him on my blog about food for those few years. So I suppose fitting.

Anyways Mr. Scratchy, I imagine you checking in tonight, drained of energy. I believe you're dressed in navy shorts, bare feet, a red baseball cap on backwards, and have a red twizzlers candy hanging out of your mouth. I think you've just made yourself a cup of tea, and are catching up with the last three parts of the fairy tale.

I hope I put a smirk on your lips tonight.

as always, smile smirk and snarl.

Monday june 8th 2015

I had a chat this evening, with Jeff, the male witch. We were talking about how the world has become so overshadowed with living online, how everyone is connected but no one really pays attention.  Ironic when you think about it. Everyone is energetically together in what can only be considered a borg mentality, striving not for divine oneness as we were brought to believe in the 1960's sci-fi shows that something like this would bring. But, in fact, it's divided the world that much more.  That's an entire spiritual conversation for another time.

But it got me thinking of one thing. I miss my affair of the blog.

The whole time Jeff was talking about how no one respects each other, really honestly respects each other anymore, all I could think was few years back when The Celebrity was reading my blog.  I know, bad of me right? No, not really.
Okay, yeah, I get that he was mocking me half the time, and ripping off my blog topics the rest of the time, but in order to do so he had to spend god knows how long reading me.  I mean really reading me.

Here's the sad part. While Jeff was yammering on about how the world is a gutter, I admitted to myself, that mocking or not The Celebrity paid more attention to what I had to say then any guy I've ever dated. Ever.

Yeah, I'm not sure how to react to that either?   Other then I miss the knowing that he reads me. I miss the idea of what that means, what that could mean and the possibility it could bring. 
If a guy I've never met, never had a conversation -outside of this blogging thing- with can find it in himself to listen to what I have to say; and I mean open ears open mind, listening to what I have to say, then finding that level of connection with an average guy should be a given.

I find it a bit sad now too that company #2's blog that The Celebrity had been writing for back few years ago, no longer exists. I went just now after the conversation with Jeff to re-read some of the posts, and it's no longer there.  See, you should never take anything for granted.

And if The Celebrity is reading this...we really should catch a vampire movie sometime.

Dirty Laundry 44

I got a message from my cousin Walsh bit ago, there was a link "You seen this?"
Given I had no idea what the link was for, I told him that I most likely hadn't. Then I hit the link. It was a match from few months ago of The Celebrity.  He got beat, but I watched it twice.

Me-:"Cool. He doesn't look any different."

Obviously, my cousin has been lurking around reading the blog. Comments people they do work.  All I could think was damn the boy still has it. He's still beautiful and he's still killer in the ring. Now he's all I'm going to be able to think about.

Walsh-:"Answer me this; how is it you can carry on a conversation with one of the most famous occult guys but you can't talk to The Celebrity or Mad Hatter or Rebel without a Cause?"  I didn't have an answer for him.  He sent the message again waiting. 

Me-:"I've never thought about it like that before."  

Walsh-:"Well think about it! I've thought about it so one of them must have."

Me-:"Oh yeah, I'm sure that The Celebrity is just drooling in anticipation for me to send him an engraved invitation to dinner or something."

Walsh-:"Hahaha! Do it! I dare you to!"

Deja vu. 
Mashed potatoes, gravy...

And it's not even noon yet

You know when the universe is tossing things at you, you need to pay attention. I was looking through a box where I have old photos stored for art projects, and came across an old wrestling magazine from 2006.  Found a picture of The Celebrity.
Cool.  Went off made coffee, decided I wanted to watch a movie, so digging through a stack of dvds, and I guess I bumped them cause a bunch fell off the shelf scattering across the floor. The one that landed smack dab in the middle was an old wrestling dvd from 2009 for company #2, and The Celebrity was one of the wrestlers on the cover.
Huh?

Well that put him solidly in my brain this morning. Started to wonder if he still even wrestles, if he does still wrestle, has the industry drained him of life, has he bothered to learn to cook? 

Why the universe would pop him into my brain this morning I have no idea, but poof there he is. So on the off chance he still reads me...hi how are you?

Dirty Laundry 42

Knock on the window made me jump five feet. My cousin Walsh was standing there. I let him in, wondering if everything was okay?

Walsh-:"Did you tape the show on Friday?" he followed me into the hallway to my apartment.

Me-:"Yeah, but I deleted it already."

Walsh-:"Crap. Kids were messing around with the dvr and I didn't get it. What were you doing?"

Me-:"Watching Cutthroat Kitchen. My chef just lost."

Walsh-:"Who's that?" he found the matches on the bookcase lighting a cigarette.

Me-:"Chef Marcel Vigneron." I pointed to the screen with my tv remote in hand.  My cousin just stood there for a second, taking a drag on his cigarette. He screwed up his face shrugging. "Then why'd you ask?"

Walsh-:"Why not?" he wandered around the kitchen. "Smells good. What's for supper?"

Me-:"Nothing. I was putting away spices, filling up the jars. Everything okay?"

Walsh-:"Yeah. Just thought you would have the wrestling still in the machine." he shrugged again taking another drag on the cigarette then stomping it out in the sink.  "So, what's going on with that new guy?"

Me-:"What new guy?"

Walsh-:"The one from the trash bin. Saw you posted about him."

Me-:"Ah, nothing. Haven't seen him since. Haven't seen Mr. Freeze either lately, starting to think he doesn't work at the grocery anymore."

Walsh-:"Huh. I wouldn't dwell on it too much, not like either of them are Mad Hatter."

Me-:"I'm so sick of talking about him. We need to find someone new to talk about. Like the Peacock. He should get bumped up to the Friday night show any time now."

He looked at me, not knowing how to read me. "Something happen?"

Me-:"No, just he's become too popular. Time to move on to someone new. Someone...worthy..."

Walsh-:"Okay, seriously what's wrong with you?" my cousin was opening and closing the cupboards looking for something to snack on.

Me-:"What if there is more then one Mr. Scratchy? What if I told you I think that The Celebrity checked in recently...and I can't get him off my mind."

Walsh-:"You think or you know?" he had found the baking nuts, eating them.

Me-:"Does it matter. The point is, he's on my mind the last while. Which is like bad right?"

He started laughing for whatever reason, shaking the pecans bag for the final crumbs. "It's only bad if you believe it's bad. Why would you believe it to be bad?"

Me-:"Cause. He's who I always thought for how many years was Mr. Scratchy, till you pointed out stuff to me, putting things inline with Mad Hatter. And, if there is another Mr. Scratchy...then that rips apart everything I have believed in. Starting to doubt everything."

Walsh-:"Ah, so this isn't really about Mad Hatter as much as it is...what now?"

Me-:"I'm not even sure anymore."   Walsh's phone rang, his wife telling him she had dinner ready. He headed out of the apartment, and was standing in the hallway about to say something else when one of the neighbours entered the building, carrying furniture. My cousin had to double back through the building to get out.

Mint equals Cereal?

I once asked the question can you miss someone you've never met?  The answer is yes. As time goes on, we end up missing our favourite bloggers, or our favourite twitter/facebook personality etc, when they stop communicating. I'm having one of those days today.

Few years ago, I would spend hours a day, literally hours, following my favourite bloggers. I would get up have two cups of coffee and just block off about four or five hours a day reading other people's blogs. People, who over time for whatever their reasons were, stopped blogging. After awhile, I stopped checking, stopped following. Just stopped caring.

One of my favourites, was run by company number two. There's a shocker for ya eh? And for awhile, The Celebrity and The Other Guy had control of it. I miss reading it. I have to say, it was one of my favouirte blogs at the time, not just because those two wrestlers were writing it, but because of how they wrote it.
They had a way of making you think you were reading something less promotional and more personal. Even when it was clearly a topic for the show.  I miss that. 

I was sitting here having a cup of coffee, when the scent of menthol overpowered everything. It was coming from the hall. When I opened the door to see what was going on, there was a guy standing there, with a cut on his arm and a bottle of mint extract, wearing a faded t-shirt with a logo for Captain Crunch cereal.  Crazy as it seems, it got me thinking of that whole blog.  If you ever read it, you understand why.

So on a day like today I couldn't help but wonder...how many people have we left our mark on without even realizing it?

Hotels and hauntings

One of my uncles, phoned me and asked if I could book a hotel for him online, as he's got no clue how to do all that.  It took nearly two hours to finally find what he was looking for price wise and for the dates he wanted.
Proceed to remind me I haven't been on a trip myself in almost four years. Stressfully sad.
Anyways, while I was doing this hotel hunt for uncle, I think I scared the hell out of him when I screamed, as he was still on the phone. Well, swore and screamed actually.  In the middle of the search, I hit the refresh button for the hotel packages, which brought up an advertisement for company #1. And the Pack was front and center in the ad.

Dude, why is it whenever I'm doing something else in life, Mad Hatter pops up like a dirty dime?

I could understand if I was on a wrestling site or something, but general life?  This has been happening a lot in the last few months. He's everywhere.

So why does life haunt us with certain things/people?  There are lessons to learn in every thing when it repeats in your life, it's just a matter of figuring out what that message is?  There is a city that haunted me for years, still to this day, every time I end up liking a band or actor (and half my favourite wrestlers for that matter), they end up being from Detroit.

The Knight of Cups and Page of Cups, constantly show up in tarot readings, driving me insane. And I've looked at them from every possible angle and still have no idea what the lesson is there that they are trying to tell me?

I've already mentioned the Johnathan syndrome... 

So, why then am I being haunted when I lest expect it by images of Mad Hatter?   I don't get haunted by images of The Celebrity, or The Other Guy, or any other wrestler for that matter. This has gone beyond simple popularity, or even a cosmic joke for that matter.

What the hell is the real lesson here?

Wrap your tongue around that

It's not a secret that I am a fan of Anthony Bourdain.  He's one of those guys who you have to be in awe of just because you're left asking at times "how did he just get away with saying that?"

And that's a quality I'm looking for in the right guy. Herman, you still with me?  Yeah, I think you're still with me.
A man who has that gonzo ability with his vocals.  Mad Hatter falls under that category, as does The Celebrity. If Rebel without a Cause really learns that trait, dude I'll be in trouble.

I'm watching the show No Reservations, and it's the "Food Porn" episode.  And nearly every segment, has left me asking "how did he get away with that comment?"  The whole connection between food and lust/sex makes you wonder why anyone would not want to be married to a chef?

I think that would be my perfect man...a wrestler who cooks and could be an understudy for Hunter S. Thompson. Which, I think I've hinted at before.

99 Plus One

"I was reading your blog, and I'm curious, who do you think it is?"  my cousin's wife asked.  She had been at the pharmacy when I went to the grocery, which is in the same building, so we were chatting for a bit while we were standing around waiting for her prescription to be filled. I was a bit taken a back that she's been reading the blog, as I was under the impression she didn't approve of it.

Me-:"Who are we talking about?"

WW:"You don't agree with Walsh that your mystery man is this wrestler? So, who is it?"

Me-:"Uh...er...I have no idea. Could be him, could be someone else?"   I waited to see if there was anything else before trying to change the topic. Storm wandered past us but he didn't acknowledge us.  "How is everything with you?"

WW-:"Fine, the usual. The kids are good, L. is driving me insane staying with us. Lest she's suppose to be, but..." she rolled her eyes. "She spends all her time at the bar or with whatever piece of crap she's picked up at the bar, so she's rarely home. Really stressing out Walsh and his mom. Well, moms plural. His real mom, and his dad and step mom are all you know..." she checked her cell phone clearing her throat.  "Right, your blog. Say something nice about me on it later eh? I'll even talk about who you think your mystery man is so that you do add me."

Me-:"Huh...okay...um Dimmer? Rebel without a Cause, could be Mad Hatter? Still a slim chance it's The Celebrity."

WW-:"Yeah I don't even know who half those guys are. I know they're wrestlers. Were they on last night?"   

Me-:"Mad Hatter and Rebel without a Cause were. Dimmer wasn't, and The Celebrity doesn't work for Company #1."

WW-:"I'll have to pay attention to the show figure out who you're always talking about."

Me-:"Sure." 

Her prescription was finally ready and she turned to get it. "You really should take Walsh's option cause as much as I hate to say it, he's right like 99% of the time. So annoying."

Sunday continued

Making a cup of tea, when the buzzer went.  It was my cousin. Odd. He stood there looking like his heart was broken. I asked him what he was doing here, he shrugged and just stood there leaning on the wall for a minute. I right away thought something had happened to his sister or dad or something, but he said everyone was fine. Then he asked me if I was okay?

Me-:"Why wouldn't I be?"

Walsh-:"Cause of the whole...finger thing." he was blushing.

Me-:"Oh my god! Seriously?"  I started to laugh. I think he was wanting me to be heartbroken and acting like a psycho or something, and disappointed that I wasn't.

Walsh-:"So you're not mad at me for pointing it out?"

Me-:"Keep at it and I will be."  I poured him a cup of tea. "I took it out of the dvr so don't even bother looking for it."

Walsh-:"Well noted."  he just sat there, sort of slumped shoulders like a sad puppy.

Me-:"Okay, this is bothering you more then me. Why?"

He shrugged again. "I really wanted to be right on this. I still 100% believe he's Mr. Scratchy."

That brought a tear to my eye. I ended up with a knot in my throat for a few moments. I was unable to talk.

Me-:"Okay, dude..." I sat there stupid for a few more minutes. "Where to start? This is the year of the Horse coming up. Like the end of the month is Chinese New Year. Which is suppose to be like the best thing going for me. Last time I had a chart like that was eleven years ago, when I met -----. Good or bad, three things led me to him. The first being that I was doing something I totally loved as a hobby, second being I was completely devoted to my spiritual side, and third being my writing. I wrote that one novel that I still am really proud of like a month before ----- came into my life. All my attention and focus was directed into what I loved doing. And I wasn't looking for a relationship, it just fell into my lap..."

Walsh-:"This going to be a long story cause I have to pee."  (I started typing this so I wouldn't forget while he was in the toilet.) "continue..."

Me-:"Chinese New Year...right Year of the Horse. I made myself one promise this year. To do what I love. That includes focusing on my spiritual side which I've neglected for the last few years, working on a hobby which is the monster's library movie thing, and writing, which was the online fairy tale. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

Walsh-:"No, all shadows and darkness." he got up and boiled the kettle again for another cup of tea. "What was the novel you said you were working on back when ----- started to cheat on you?" he was giggling.  He was referring to a character in the story being named Johnathan. "Was that the one about the Johnny Depp fan? Why did you never try to publish that one?" 

Me-:"I am starting to hate you right now. Thinking of poking out your eyes or something. You killed my muse. I can't work on a story where my romantic lead is not available. I just can't work that way. There's like a block in my brain that keeps me from being able to. Let me rephrase that, when I know the guy is not available. It totally kills any romantic ideals I have of the guy. Makes him as interesting as wilted lettuce. I have no idea how I'm going to fix this in order to finish the fairy tale? And, and it destroys my power of three thing I had going on with the hobby, witch stuff and writing."  Walsh just stared at me wide eyed. Honestly, I think he was thinking of something or someone other then our conversation.

Walsh-:"And what's that got to do with Mad Hatter being Mr. Scratchy?"

Me-:"I had connected the theory, your theory that you jammed repeatedly into my brain, that Mad Hatter was Mr. Scratchy, my guy; into the main love story part of the fairy tale. How am I suppose to continue thinking that way and writing that way now? You killed my crush killing the muse."

Walsh-:"I do not believe that, it's crap." he nodded grabbing a cigarette and opening the window leaning out of it. "I don't understand why you're not wanting to believe he's Mr. Scratchy?"

Me-:"Oh my god! Okay, my core values, my core belief system, is based on the idea of soulmates. The main thing I do is connected to romance, relationships, love. Whether you personally agree with me or not, to me Mr. Scratchy is more then a theory. If I continue to believe that Mr. Scratchy is Mad Hatter and he's not available, then that rips my core values apart. Mr. Scratchy can't be married or seriously attached to anyone else. Now do you understand me?" my cousin just sat there for a moment, face out the window smoking. "Mad Hatter can not be Mr. Scratchy, can not be my soulmate, if he's not...free. And I wouldn't even be thinking this way if it wasn't for you shoving the idea down my throat for months. I was very blissfully fine thinking Mr. Scratchy was The Celebrity. Then you had to go and ruin that by telling me he was off in Japan and that disconnected from the timing of blog hits and scratching..."  okay by that point I was ranting just a bit. Took me a bit to calm down from that. Second cup of tea in fact.

Walsh-:"I'm still not getting why this ruins your writing?"

Me-:"I'm talking to a wall, a 36 year old wall. The inspiration for the character, the lead romance, comes from a crush I had/have on Mad Hatter. I can't think of him that way if I know for a fact he's not crushable. If I am unable to finish the fairy tale, or at lest keep it going cause it's turned into a mega soap opera on the blog; to at lest keep it going, two things will happen, one will be the return of writers block cause my crush on Mad Hatter was the first thing in 3 years that cured my writer's block, and two, the focus on doing what I love, the witch stuff, the hobby and the writing, won't work to lead me to the next relationship. Or at the very lest distract me from thinking about why I'm not in a relationship."

Walsh-:"All I got from that was blah blah blah you finally believe that Mr. Scratchy is Mad Hatter blah blah blah." he smiled as he lit another cigarette.

Me-:"Which no longer is even an issue if he's married. And thanks a f***ing lot. If you hadn't started pointing out the stupid dots, I wouldn't be...now I'm mad at you."

Walsh-:"Mad because of the writing or the crush?"

Me-:"Both. You know, I didn't see a life after 32. I just always felt that was the end of things. And then the year I was 32, the car accident and what happened with all that. So when I tell you that I don't see anything husband/serious relationship wise after 40, I have to listen to my gut on that."

Walsh-:"40 is not that old anymore. Plenty of people find their soulmate or whatever well into their last years."

Me-:"Well, whomever he is...don't even say it...whomever he is, he's got about seven weeks to show up. Then 40 hits and I see nothing."

Walsh-:"You said after 40. That still gives you a year. So like technically when you turn 41."

Me-:"Go home."

He looked at the clock realizing he'd been here almost an hour as it was, and started to make another cup of tea. "I don't want to. Wife's got friends over for a girls day."  he started searching the cupboards not finding anything of interest. "So you still mad?"

Me-:"Yes at you yes. You're driving me crazy. And I'm sure I've sounded enough like a crazy person over the years as it is. Remember the time my sister's friends all were catatonic when their favourite celebrity crushes got married? They were what, fourteen?"

Walsh-:"And you're okay? With all this?"

Me-:"I'm most likely heading for writer's block, but...you are the one acting like your heart is broken over this. I never met the guy, never had a conversation with him, not like we were friends. That's what a celerity crush is. A crush on a famous person. Dude, I am so glad the internet wasn't around when I was a kid/teenager. This is why I keep telling you I don't want to know. I don't do the facebook or twitter stuff, don't google, because I don't want to know anything about their real lives. Just height, age, weight, hair and eye colour. The basics, and a few common catchphrases/movements. Just enough to inspire a character for my writing. Anything beyond that, like if they are single, married, straight, gay, with kids etc, ruins them for me. Why do I feel like I just spent the last hour going around in circles?"

Walsh-:"I get it. You're mad because I pointed out something you didn't want to know and now you've lost your muse. But that doesn't change the fact I still believe he's Mr. Scratchy. Don't give up on the idea of him. There is just too many things still pointing in that direction."

Me-:"Like a brick wall."  he left shortly after that. And here's me, wondering how he got me to actually believe him?  My past experience alone with people pushing me in someone's direction should have kept me from believing him. But, no, there was just too many things that strengthened his theory. Now, I'm just mad at myself.

A dear Mr. Scratchy letter

This would be a post-it note # 400 or something by now? Something like that.
Morning Mr. Scratchy, Herman. Well, it's morning here. Sun hasn't totally risen yet, small breeze outside the window swaying the trees. We're sitting at -1C degrees with a -7C degrees windchill. That's practically shorts weather here. I can honestly say, I can't remember it ever being that warm before April here?

I'm not too sure what I want to say this morning? Just that I had the overwhelming need to write one of these post-it notes.

I imagine you this morning, checking in, bagel hanging out of your mouth, coffee in hand, hair a mess sticking out everywhere, those track pants splattered with coffee and maybe mud from an early run, faded yellow shirt and torn hoodie.

I don't know who you are, and it looks like I never will. Am I okay with that? No, but doesn't look like I have any choice in the matter. So...

One of my favourite songs is "Black #1" by Type O Negative.  It's got that line in it "She's got a date at midnight with Nosferatu/oh baby Lily Munster ain't got nothing on you."   Which, is completely perfect ironically, when you think about it.

Well Herman, if you really are The Celebrity, I hope you're getting a kick out of things. Always.
If you're really the Rebel without a Cause, I hope you're digging the fairy tale.
If you're really Dimmer, I hope your spotlight is bright.
If you're really Mad Hatter, well don't let the sun go down on you.

As always, I hope I made you smile.

big hugs....Kimberly

Thursday 5th 2013 SEPT

Was cleaning out the dvr at mom's this afternoon, and out of nowhere she says to me "Why don't you ever watch Skunk-boy anymore?"   Meaning The Celebrity. "I haven't seen anything with him in ages, don't you like him anymore?"

Mom paying real attention to the shows? Was the roof about to cave in on us? Did hell freeze over?

Me-:"I can't, he's not on a tv show on any of the channels we have anymore."  I left off the fact I haven't caught up with Company #2 in three weeks so I'm assuming he's still working in the Japan company.

This got me thinking about the stuff in life we get used to, the shows, the heroes, things in general that we sort of take for granted.  That got me thinking about changes, missed opportunities, staying stuck.

See, one big chain reaction.

Which has lead me back to wondering where I put some of my dvds from Company #2 that had The Celebrity?  I could use a dose of his matches right about now.

sunday 8:45pm Aug 18th

Doorbell rang about fifteen minutes ago, my cousin Walsh was standing there smoking.

Walsh-:"It's ppv night. I went to auntie's expecting pizza and the ppv but there was no pizza, no ppv, no you.  Just three old ladies laughing." he waved the smoke around.

Me-:"Yeah, mom's church group called her last night about coming over tonight, and since the Pack were only listed for the pre-show, I didn't bother to try to get her to order it. Being poor sucks."

Walsh-:"Yeah, caught that part online. Your man won." he grinned at me like a little kid would after finding their first dollar from the tooth fairy. "You can't say anymore it's not him."  I grunted. "Well, no ppv so I'd better get home give the kids a bath before bed." he tossed the filter of the cigarette then looked at me. "You okay?"

Me-:"Sure. Just all this time I thought it was The Celebrity, and it wasn't and then this all unfolded and you were right, I was wrong and now what?" I shrugged hanging onto the door. "And the damned crush has gotten worse and worse and don't say it, just don't."

Walsh-:"What, that maybe you were suppose to have a crush on him?" he gave me that grin again as he got into his truck.

A post-it note for you

Mr. Scratchy, Herman.  How was your evening?
The fairy tale, you're in it aren't you? I think you are. I was asked what I hope to accomplish by it, and my answer was for one wrestler to like it.  Just one. Two would be fabulous, three beyond wicked. But one is good.
I've got nothing tonight. I just typed something like four times and deleted it, so that tells you how brain dead I am tonight.
Okay Herman, I imagine you checking in to this tonight, tired, and feeling...complicated. Yeah I have no idea why the word complicated jumped into my mind, but it did.
I think you're dressed in a pair of shorts, and having that usual cup of tea while you read me.

Risk it here... things were less complicated when I still believed you were The Celebrity. There is that word again, complicated.
Now complication is the only thing happening. For now anyways.  The most likely possibilities are still Dimmer, Rebel without a Cause and Mad Hatter. 

And somewhere, The Celebrity is reading all this laughing shaking his head thinking he should have gotten the recipe for banana bread few years back when I offered. There's a guy who I hope never looses his will to be weird.

post it june 25 2013

Right off the bat can I nag... Dimmer, shave. Please.

Okay Herman, I'm counting on you to pass that plea on to your buddy. Less of course you're him in which case, there you go.   More and more Mr. Scratchy, I think you were connected at one time to the late Trent Acid.  Which means, you're either The Celebrity, Rebel without a Cause or Mad Hatter.

Anyways, I imagine you checking in tonight after work, tired bruised and needing a laugh. That's what I'm here for. To make you laugh, smirk and relax.
I think you're sitting there with a cup of tea, in a travel mug, wearing those wire rimmed glasses and grey shorts. I think there is a stack of comic beside you given it's a new release day. Or at lest it's new release day where I am.

If you are The Celebrity... hey. How is everything? I miss the silliness, do you miss the silliness of stuff that I would spew out in black and white?  I'm sure you must on some level. I was cleaning out some old wrestling on the DVR few days ago, and came across an old ppv from like a year and a half ago from Company #2.  The Celebrity vs DoubleStarr.  Can't believe I forgot about that match.

Well Mr. Scratchy, Herman; we're sitting at +29C with a humidex of +33C today. Too hot to think. My brain is melting. So I will just say...smile. While you sit there in your cool aired shadows in a twist of barbed wire. Smile. You know you want to.

I just couldn't help but wonder?

Just managed to catch up with last night's wrestling. And ... on a night like this, I just couldn't help but wonder, Rebel without a Cause is got to be the most vocal wrestler this side of The Celebrity. I want to know, do they mic him or is he really that loud? For all the talent he has and he's got more talent then I've seen in a long while, he screeches when he's at ringside. Gotta feel sorry sometimes for the rest of the Pack -Werewolf King and Mad Hatter- if they are standing right beside him when he screams like that. Ears must be ringing to near bleeding. Gorgeous, talented, but...is he always that much of a screech owl?  (insert dirty thoughts right about there)

I watched an episode of Sex and the City earlier, (Season 2 Episode 21 Old Dogs New Dicks) in which, Charlotte dates a guy who's uncircumcised and freaks out about it.  Okay, was totally feeling like a deja vu on that topic. (while back I talked about it in the post -Just a Tip) In the episode, she shames him into getting it done. 
Seriously, would any man want to get that done after the age of two?  If there was no medical reason, would any of you men reading right now actually do that?  And for someone who you might not even continue dating? And for someone who made you feel crappy about yourself to begin with?
I think it's one of the more out there episodes of the show, but not even for that. For the fact a main character behaves the way she does by making her date feel ashamed of his body. It's also a brave step because it makes the character less then perfect, and shows how self absorbed we all can be.

So in true SATC style... I just couldn't help but wonder, are we screaming at each other because we really need to be heard or are we just trying to distract from our own insecurities?

Post-it dinner time

The words the end  can sometimes be a beautiful thing. Such as in this case.  The first draft of the new novel is done!
I would do a happy dance if it wasn't for the bad knee.

Mr. Scratchy, Herman, you can tell Mad Hatter that the first draft is complete. Unless he's reading this right now over your shoulder, in which case...hey how you doing?
Then there is the chance that Walsh is right and you are Mad Hatter, in which case...um... er... hi! 

This is me in a good mood. Goofy good mood. Hopefully, I'll have better luck with this one then I did with the last one few years ago. The one that had been inspired by The Other Guy and The Celebrity.
That one, well Mr. Scratchy, you've been reading me for a few years so you know the issues and heartache that manuscript gave me. 

I figure, another two drafts should do it.

I have this fear, that none of my novels will see the printing press till after I'm in the ground cold.
I'm really hoping that this one, this has the magick touch.

Anyways, Herman, I imagine you checking in right now, maybe getting ready for a show; killing time. Make sure your laces are done up.  Yeah, I don't know, like I said, goofy mood. 
I imagine you smiling shaking your head at me, thinking that I'm such a nerd.  Admit it Herman, you love it!  

May 23rd 2013

I do believe it's The Celebrity's birthday today. So this is just a little note to say Happy Birthday.

I hope The Celebrity still reads every so often. And if he misses this note, well I'm sure someone in the industry will pass it on to him.

Happy Birthday

Crackers don't matter Johnanthan

There is an omen that when two people are meant to be together they can not avoid each other. I've mentioned it before a few times, even admitted there hadn't been anyone in my path that fit that statement. Then this whole thing with Mad Hatter started to happen. From my cousin declaring that Mad Hatter is Mr. Scratchy. And of course the Johnathan situation that has sprung up like weeds.  It's become too much for me. It's not cute anymore, it's not funny anymore, it's gone beyond even being useful as a gimmick. It's just down right freaking me out.
Walsh had gone to the fast food place down the street from mom's and texted me. I decided what the hell, I'd hang out with him for a bit. He'd been talking about this one co-worker he wanted to introduce me to.  I didn't get to meet the co-worker, he was gone by the time it took me to get there. Walsh was in the parking lot getting ready to leave as well.

Walsh-:"Okay, you look like you're about to pass out. The walk wasn't that much for you."

Me-:"I'm fine. My knee is stiff but I'm fine."  I told him what was bothering me. That there were too many patterns pointing to Mr. Scratchy being you know who.

He shrugged "Don't worry about it. Just let it unfold."

Me-:"Too late for that. It's out there. Okay. I've put it in writing on the blog, so it's out there." I was walking in circles in the parking lot while my cousin just stood there smoking a cigarette.

Walsh-:"I just don't get it? I don't understand why you are so..." he stuck his tongue out waving his hands around like a moron. "Freaked out over this."

Me-:"Cause I am. I'm a girl and I freak out easy? I don't know. Seriously, dude, I really don't even know anymore." My knee hurt and I had to stand still. "He's perfect. How about that? If even a slice of his real personality is anything like his old character, he's f***ing perfect! Like something I'd written myself. And you know full well what happened the last time I met a man who seemed like he'd walked right out of one of my stories. A decade later and I'm still bruised on that one."  I watched three crows fly over head. Really? (when you see three crows in flight it means you're going to be married soon)  I pointed to the sky and mumbled to myself for them not to tease me, don't think Walsh heard me.

Walsh-:"You of all people deserve some perfect."

Me-:"Then what happens? Do I die? Cause, done that."  (surgery after the car accident they had to use the paddles on me, it was just over a minute but yeah I was dead)

Walsh-:"Oh my god!" he started to laugh at me. "That's what this is about? All this time?" he pointed his cigarette at me, blowing smoke in my face.

Me-:"I don't even know myself anymore. Maybe, no, yes." I started to walk in circles again needing to let off steam. "He just keeps popping up everywhere. Remember the indie wrestler I was friends with few years ago?" he looked at the sky for a few seconds then nodded. "Yeah, well, he'd known him and brought him up in conversations more then a few times. Said he'd worked with him told me I would so totally love this guy, offered once to introduce me to him. I didn't take him seriously cause I was so wrapped up in the idea of The Celebrity and besides, I thought he was just trying to make himself sound more important then he was."

Walsh-:"The indie guy?"

Me-:"Right. Anyways, not too long later, I was looking for something about The Other Guy, yes I actually googled something, anyways, was looking for something on The Other Guy when this photo came up of Mad Hatter. Someone had tagged him as The Other Guy. And at first glance they did sort of look alike. That was the first time I'd seen a photo of him and was like yeah he's hot."  Walsh was laughing at me. I was waving my hands at him ready to have a tantrum cause I wanted to get out what I had to say and I was feeling like I was going to cry. "Then there was that flyer in the paper for the one  indie wrestling company. Only I found out like the day after and it was too late."

Walsh pointed at me "Oh?" He made a face like he was trying to remember then shrugged laughing some more. "Okay, and?"

Me-:"Nothing. For like two years, nothing. Totally forgot about him. Then one day his name popped up on a random music video. Someone had left a comment just saying his name."

Walsh-:"Hold up, and you're telling me, being the type of person you are, you did not google the guy? Like even I can see that's a bunch of signs."

Me-:"I did not even think about him. My mind was so far up my arse I didn't even consider it. My mode was still all about The Celebrity at that point. And then that whole blast of information last night from that chick on the social site about how she's buddy's with him on Facebook..."

Walsh-:"But now you're seeing it aren't you?" he lit another cigarette.

Me-:"No I'm loosing my mind is what I'm doing. I'm starting to feel like a damned episode of Farscape or something. That one where they all go nutballs over the crackers. Hang on it gets weirder."  he looked at me over the edge of his lighter. "Did you see my comments like a month or so ago, about the last episode of SATC? The identity of Mr. Big ending up being just plain old Jon?"  He raised an eyebrow at me.

Walsh-:"I tend to gloss over anything with SATC sorry." he took a long drag on his cigarette blowing smoke into my direction again as I started pacing back and forth still with way too much extra nerves.

Me-:"This whole Johnathan stuff. It was cute in the beginning even I have to admit it was slightly cool. But, dude, they're everywhere. Every time I turn around lately, there is some reference to the name Johnathan. Can't enjoy an episode of Farscape anymore cause of the lead character being named John, the dude on the social site that you didn't care for I found out is a John, every time I turn on the radio there's a Johnny Cash song or a Johnny Mathis song, or the song will have John in the lyrics. I was watching a horror movie few days ago and there were two characters with the name John, one was a John and the other a Johnny. Dude! This is unreal. There are two new guys working at the grocery named Jon. When I saw their name tags I nearly screamed. I was watching Hotel Transylvania, and ten minutes into it there is a character called Johnny Stein who is a mix of the Johnathan Harker character and Frankenstein. What the f**k? Now cartoons are mocking me!"

Then he started to laugh. "Oh! Yeah, you're so screwed." He was doubled over laughing at me. "You need to calm down you're going to have a panic attack."

Me-:"I'm way beyond a panic attack. I'm loosing my damned mind."

Walsh-:"You have enough sense to know you're panicking so you're not loosing your mind. You're acting like a shithead but your not loosing your mind. Chill out a bit, relax breathe and just...relax."

Me-:"And do what?" 

He shrugged, and got into his truck heading back to work. "Believe in the Mad Hatter." he was smiling like a moron.