Dirty Laundry 64

Pussycat was drunk when he called me. Yes, called me. Not texted, but actually phoned. That's how drunk he was.

Pussycat-:"What's your perfect man?"

Me-:"Don't you mean who?"

Pussycat-:"No. what? I'm going to find you someone tonight! Girl!"

Me-:"I'll believe that when I see it. Where are you? I thought you were on a date?"

Pussycat-:"Later, later not till he gets off work. I'm with my girls."   he actually meant his drag queen friends. When he's with actual female friends he calls them by their names. "Pub crawling doll. Tell me!"

Me-:"God, I don't even know anymore."

Pussycat-:"We're going to the next one now cause, it's all good baby. I've got your instagram up dolly. I'm going to be your fairy godmother get it. Fairy. I'm your fairy god drag mother."  he mumbled something I couldn't catch and ended the call.

Here's the thing about Valentine's Day. Most people don't realize it started off as a pagan fertility rite. Names would be put into a bucket or bowl or what have you, and people would randomly draw a name, then go off and have sex. So if a half dozen couples had been trying for a long time to have kids, and nothing was working, this was their chance to see who was the cause of not having kids, without cheating. Really romantic right? Some places used masks instead of the draw. Which is where part of the whole masquerade ball came from. Party goers would have these elaborate masks and without knowing who, they would hook up with someone. Good in some ways I suppose, bad in others.  And lets not forget the fact, the sex rites were to make sure the crops were good for the coming year. Sex magick is still the best way to add energy to a spell.

Pussycat called back shortly after 8pm. Again, asking me what my ideal man would be. Again, mumbling something and having the call end. I think he was trying to show people photos while still trying to talk on the phone? Yeah, like I said, he's already drunk.  Which is sad in itself. When I met him, he had been two years sober. Now, he's toasted a lot.

So while he's being him tonight, I'm sitting here listening to the neighbours sneak into the hallway, and talk to the people they are having affairs with, or the girlfriends they have out of town, while the other neighbours fight over what restaurant they are going to, and why they feel disappointed by the lack of attention. Etc, etc, etc.

He called again while I was typing this.

Me-:"Norman Reedus. I like guys who look like Norman Reedus."   well, doesn't everyone?  He wouldn't know who any of my wrestlers are so there isn't a point in telling him.

Burp the night away

I was hanging out last night with Pussycat, talking about the way the city has become even more divided then it was when we were younger. Upon seeing a couple of hot university students jogging past us, Pussycat started to talk about how the men here have gotten better looking.

Me-:"That's because no one is from here anymore. They all come in for school."

Pussycat-:"Then leave. No one stays here. I would totally do that one." he was pointing at some guy who had pulled up at the street lights as we were crossing the street. I made a face, I know I did cause Pussycat got little offended. "What you don't think?"

Me-:"Not my type."  the guy had long hair tied up in a ponytail, wearing a camouflage shirt.

Pussycat-:"See this is your problem." he reached into his bag pulling out a jar of something pink taking a gulp as we continued walking. "You keep saying that you are open to love, to having the right man show up..." he took another gulp. "Yet it's on your terms. You need to just go with it, cause your sending mixed messages to the universe." and another large gulp of it before putting the now empty jar in his bag again.

Me-:"I know what I'm attracted to."

Pussycat-:"That's what I mean! You think you know, but can you really know? You're trying to control it and it just doesn't work that way." he burped. "Like this whole Germany thing. You still thinking about that?"

Me-:"Seemed like a good idea a month ago. Still be a year or more away."

Pussycat-:"Exactly. How do you know that you're suppose to go there? I mean..." he burped again. "If you were truly meant to go, wouldn't you have been able to get the whole thing in motion already? Wouldn't the universe have given you hints and a big wad of money or a free trip or something by now?" we crossed another set of lights. "Take Vegas for instance. You said you keep seeing ads for it, and Janny is going..."

Me-:"What about it?"

Pussycat-:"Maybe the universe is telling you to go there." he elbowed me burping again. "I would love to go. A friend of mine's mom works at that one travel place if I had my passport..." he snapped his fingers almost smashing into my nose. He did smack into my shoulder.

Me-:"I have zero interest in Vegas."

Pussycat-:"You're not listening! Girl! I'm telling you that you have to let go of your expectations. Mr. Right is waiting for you to get off your wishlist doll and just embrace it. Like in Practical Magic, you know how the aunts warn the chick to be careful what she wishes for and then later on when the husband dies they admit to having done the spell with molasses." he began opening his arms and actually quoting the lines from it. And sort of swaying. Whatever had been in the jar seemed to have kicked in. "Whatever. The point is, you don't know. You don't know who you're meant to be attracted to. Right? What if you're just binding yourself with molasses to the wrong man? What if you're suppose to plan a trip to Vegas and then get detoured to...I don't know some other of the lower parts of the world cause Mr. Right is somewhere else? He could be sitting in a cardboard box in India right now doll, and you'll never know because you are too stuck on your wishlist of he has to have this and dress like this and..." another heavy burp with him covering his mouth taking a deep breath. "I'm not feeling the best now."

Me-:"That's because you drank too much of whatever that goop was."

Pussycat-:"Stop judging. I think you should go with Janny."

Me-:"She hasn't invited me. I can't go somewhere I haven't been invited to."  he made a tisk noise rolling his eyes at me.

Pussycat-:"Go alone."

Me-:"To the States?"

Pussycat-:"Really? You're fine with going alone to Germany and god knows where, but you're not good with crossing the border alone?"

Me-:"I'm afraid of Americans." I started to sing the David Bowie song then.

Pussycat-:"What if Mr. Right is American?"

Me-:"You just said he's in a cardboard box in India. Can't be both make up your mind sister."

Pussycat-:"Don't make me laugh, I'll puke." He took a couple of deep breaths straightening up and then did begin to laugh."I think it's a plan."

Me-:"You puking?"

Pussycat-:"Going to Vegas!"

Me-:"Deja vu. I don't want to."

Pussycat-:"You say that now, but few months from now you'll see." he started to burp again."I'm putting it out there to the universe."

Me-:"Fine, just leave me off your travel plans."

Monday Feb 16th

I got a message from my cousin Walsh, asking if we'd heard anything about my dad. I told him what the doctor's said, he's out of ICU but not well enough just yet for the heart surgery. He needs to be able to handle being put under for them to do the heart surgery, and he's just not yet. The medications he would need to take before hand, could trigger another stroke.

Then Walsh tried to lighten the mood by getting to the silly.

Walsh-:"You see the promo Mad Hatter did? That was totally cause of what you wrote."

Me-:"Okay. Wh..."  my phone rang before I could finish sending my message. "Yeah?"

Walsh-:"Sorry. My phone died, on the land-line. Did you get what I sent?"

Me-:"Yeah, you said he read my blog today."

Walsh-:"Don't sound so enthused. You handling it all okay?"   I could hear him running water and cupboards being closed.

Me-:"You making coffee?"

Walsh-:"Yeah."

Me-:"Great, now you've got me wanting one."  I didn't feel like getting up and going to the kitchen so I just sat there thinking about a coffee. The steam rolling from the cup in grey-silver tendrils, the swirl of the liquid as the milk clouded for a half second...like coffee junkie's porn.

Walsh-:"You still there?"

Me-:"Debating on how lazy I am right now if I want that coffee bad enough."    My cousin laughed at me. "One of these days, I would love to see Mad Hatter do a promo in long red underwear."  my cousin broke out laughing again, like choking unable to breath laughing. "With a big moose on his shirt. Then I'll know."  I gave in and went to the kitchen and made myself a coffee.

Walsh-:"Know what?"

Me-:"Everything." 

I told him I had to go and finished watching the show.

That's bold

"What are you looking for?" my aunt's friend asked me. I had bumped into them coming out of Starbucks, as I was going into the pharmacy. We got talking, and grabbed a coffee. The conversation managed to get back around to relationships, I know shocker right; and the Soulmate Secret. As this is the lady who is following the book/website and wanted to share how things were going for her.

Me-:"You mean personality or looks or situation or what?"

Aunt's Friend-:"Everything." she shrugged gesturing around the room.

Me-:"A guy who has the same sense of humour as I do. A guy who's loyal, honest." I shrugged. "Trustworthy, likes some of the same stuff as I do. Single, straight, communicates easily and honestly."
My aunt laughed at me when I had mentioned the guy needs to be straight. "Seriously, former friend of mine, she managed to do something like this, bring her soulmate into her life, and everything was perfect except that he was gay. They were best friends for years, but it just didn't work romantically."

AF-:"I read something along that line too. About making sure you really get details when you imagine your ideal lover."

Me-:"So how's it been working for you?"

She sat up a bit straighter and smiled. "I've met some guys, all have their own businesses, which is something I am looking for. A guy who is financially stable. But no one who really feels like he's the right one for me. Yet." she reached into her bag and pulled out another book showing it to me. "Have you read this one by the same author?"  It was Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lover by Arielle Ford. I nodded.

Me-:"I've had that for a few years."

AF-:"I love the section on dreams. The stories of getting clues and images of your soulmate in dreams. If my dreams are anything to go by, then my soulmate isn't that far away. I keep seeing summertime in my dreams. I'm always meeting him by the water in summer. Never see his face though."

Me-:"I know right." I finished off my coffee. "I have been dreaming of some guy who's face I never see. Been having the same dream for the last few years. Always one thing I remember, he's way taller then me, cause I only seem to be eye level with his shoulder, and it's always a blue denim shirt. One of those button up style, and he has it rolled up to the elbow. I never remember any other detail of the dream, just that when I meet this guy, he's going to have that shirt on."

Aunt-:"I have a few exercises for remembering things. I'll find my notes and copy them out for you. Maybe you can learn to make yourself remember more of the dreams."

And then I stopped paying attention for a moment because the song Johnny Angel came on over the speakers. I don't know what the next sentence out of my aunt's mouth was because I was listening to the song, totally caught off guard.  My aunt finished off her drink and grabbed her purse, saying something about how they were going to be late for something, and then they started to get up to leave. Meanwhile, I was still reeling from the song, of which I have not been able to get out of my head for the last few hours.

Tears and chocolate eggs

It's the anniversary of my grandmother's death, which made it a really rough day for mom. The buzzer rang a while ago, it was Mavis. Walsh had taken her and his kids to the Easter egg hunt at the mall.  Mavis ran in, gave my mom a big hug and handed her a card and one small chocolate egg.

Mavis-:"I found forty!" she held up her hands flashing ten four times. "And that one was the only pink one, all the others were blue and gold, so I thought I'd give you that one pink one." she marched to the kitchen and got herself a glass of water, turning to me and telling me to get off the sofa so they could sit down. Then seemed to change her mind, and asked my mom very politely if she could have some tea?

Mom-:"You don't drink tea."

Mavis-:"Yes I do! I have tea all the time when we go to the cafe, and when I go to my friend Kayla's because her mom has a whole shelf of different teas that she gets in the mail, and now I drink tea. But only not the green kind cause I don't like that kind."

I got up and started to make them their tea, Mavis right behind me, telling me which mugs they wanted to use and how many of them were having sugar and how many were having milk and looking for plates that they could use for saucers. 
Mom asked them how their day went and what else they had done today, when Walsh's oldest commented that she had entered a contest to have lunch with some hockey player. Walsh grunted as he then checked his phone for a text, which there was none.

Walsh-:"And now she's got me checking every ten minutes to see if she won. Cause they notify you by text eh?"

Oldest kid-:"And when I win, I'm going to have a steak and lobster."

Me-:"So are you more interested in meeting the hockey player or just going to a fancy restaurant?"

Oldest kid-:"Uh...meeting the hockey player!" she blushed pulling her hair down over her face giggling. "Wouldn't you?"

Mom-:"She'd would if it was a wrestler."

I nodded to that one as I poured their tea, placing it on the biggest serving tray mom had that normally gets used for turkey, along with an extra cup for the milk so that Mavis could serve everyone.

Mavis-:"I know which one too!" she started to hand everyone their spoon and a napkin. "You would want to win a lunch with the one from the three that dressed all in black right? The one that we were watching that day before when I was here, not the one I said I liked his hair cause I said only I could like him, but the other one." she smiled wide as she began to ask everyone if they wanted milk? 

I shook my head telling her she was wrong. Mavis looked at me like I'd created the biggest puzzle on the planet. "I think, I'd like to have lunch with Dimmer. Well, maybe more like coffee."

Mavis's mouth dropped open, as she tried to get everyone laughing. Then she stopped, made a face as if she was thinking about something, and opened her mouth wide again. "Oh, I know him!" she started to dance up and down in place. "He's the one from before on the computer who was being silly and looking around at the wall behind him right? I'm right right?" she started to flick her hair out of her face as she sat down then with her tea trying not to spill it everywhere. "If you were to win coffee with him, can I come?"

Walsh was laughing to the point he was snorting and his face was red. "That's your fault."

Me-:"What did I do?"

Walsh-:"You let her watch wrestling to begin with."

Me-:"I wasn't the one who started talking about winning stuff, your daughter was. How'd I get in trouble? I'm not the one who's entering contests."

He took a sip of his tea. "I'm actually surprised you said Dimmer and not Mad Hatter or Rebel without a Cause."  

I shrugged. "Seriously, given how funny Dimmer's character is on some of those old promos, if he's even half that funny in real life, he's the type of guy I'd like to hang out with."

Oldest kid-:"Well, when I have my lunch with the hockey player, then I'm going to hang out with him at lest once a week."

My mom scoffed, making a noise, then told the kid she was being ridiculous. "You're not going to win anything."

Oldest kid-:"I will win! I entered five times."

Mom shook her head making a face telling her again that she didn't stand a chance, and to stop being foolish.  It was all the kid could do not to cry, she sort of sunk down in her chair, combing her hair over her eyes with her hand.  That's been my mother's attitude on everything for as long as I have been alive.

Walsh-:"Well, if you don't win this time, there will always be another contest."  I agreed with him, knowing just how the kid was feeling.

Tuesday October 1st

Mornings are starting to be the same lately.  Coffee, check stuff online that I missed out on while sleeping -aka the drama from the social site- then write or go for a walk before the seasons change and I'm stuck in doors, go to mom's to catch up on the shows she recorded for me the night before.

So, right now, coffee and checking online.

I had been wondering what I'd done to piss off Male Friend #1 the kid from Mexico.  He hasn't been talking to me other then to say hi.
Answer, nothing. I did nothing. He's been dating this chick he met at work for the last few weeks.
See, I knew it would have been a bad idea for him to continue his crush on me.  I was a blockage for him.

And then there is Male Friend #2 John.   The creepy guy everyone told me not to chat with anymore. I had commented on a topic of his, and he flipped out, removing me from his friends list.
And then sent me comments wondering why I hadn't replied to him?    Dude, you removed me remember? 

It's a new month, Mercury getting ready once again to turn backwards for a few weeks causing all sorts of trouble. 

Once again, there are no male friends in my life.


Even you my Mr. Scratchy seem to have gotten quiet on me, my scratches have healed. There has barely been any indication I'm on your mind much.  I hope all is well in your real world.

Coffee cup is empty, need a refill.  Take that any way you like.

Post-it note 6th Sept

I got the date right tonight.

Mr. Scratchy, Herman, how are you tonight?

I imagine you checking in, a liquorice hanging out of your mouth. The good kind, the red ones. A cap pulled down on your hair cause you're not in the mood to wash it tonight, a Tim Horton's x-large double double in hand, dressed in those pajama bottoms and a very worn grey hoodie.
I think you're totally beat from work, are wondering why the lead guy in the fairy tale hasn't gotten the girl yet? 

I'm right about some of that, I know I am. At which point, you're grinning, dimples on show maybe a slight blush to your pale face? 

Anyways, Herman my little twist of barbed wire...hug.

Two Too post-it

Was watching the movie The Mirror Has Two Faces, at mom's.  Cried my damn eyes out. I've been wanting to see this for awhile, but never able to find a copy. They had it to rent on demand today.  Is it bad that I really identified with the character?
Barbra Streisand plays this woman who is a literary professor, and ends up in a marriage of convince with a math professor. He is working on his next book and happy she's not attractive enough to distract him, while she's longing for romance. They do fall in love but not the way you think.

The whole film deals with the idea of how sometimes we fail to find love because it's not what we expect. How we get trapped by the well, trappings of beauty.

Then as I was leaving the building, bumped into Tarot Lady. Is it bad that I want to roll my eyes every time lately that I bump into her?  She was telling me about a client she had done a cleansing for and how the whole thing drained her so much and it was for nothing because two years after the fact, the client lost their job.

Um okay what?  You're shaking your head on this one too aren't you?  I know Herman, you are. The more I talk to Tarot Lady, the more I want to laugh.  Not in a good way either.
I don't know Tarot Lady is totally full of crap, or if she's doing what she does with bad intentions?

Anyways, Mr. Scratchy, I imagine you checking in tonight, grunting a "uhuhm" sound as you read this, wondering why I let things get to me? You're in an industry where I'm sure nothing gets to you. I mean, you have to be tough skinned right?  And most men don't let anything eat at their nerves.
I wonder about you Mr. Scratchy.  Do you have a voice to match the nicname? A smoky sound, or a smooth tone when you talk? Are you punk rock or jazz?  Are you blonde/sandy or jet black or redhead?  Blue eyes or brown or green? Tall over 6 foot, or closer to 5 foot 8? 
Okay Herman, I imagine you tonight, reading this with a take-away shake in hand. Maybe a burger with that.  I don't know what makes me think you would eat a lot of take-away, but I do. I suppose it's the whole idea of you being on the road all the time.  I think I might finally know who you are, and I've left my voice about it in the fairy tale. Good hunting hon.

Smile Herman, it'll make you feel better.

Left side post-it note

Okay Herman, Mr. Scratchy... what happened last night to the left side of your skull?
Don't ask why I'm asking, just deal with the weirdness that is me asking.  Timeframe would have been around 10:45pm EST last night (Tuesday Aug 13th)

With that said, hello Herman, how's your day going?  Sore?

I imagine you checking in today, chewing on a plastic spoon, a baseball cap pulled down over your face casting shadows. Shadows, always with the shadows around you. I believe you have a take-away coffee in hand, the cup is one of those brown coloured generic ones, very strong coffee. And some strange plastic wrapped snack...something as mundane as a twinkie.

And if I'm even semi right, you're either laughing like a lunatic at me or swallowing in fear. Either way, your buddy is leaning over your shoulder wide eyed, mouth open scared.

smile, it's just me.

July 26th 2013

Was at the mall. Bumped into one of my female cousins who I haven't seen in about a year, and we chatted for a bit while she waited for her niece who was getting a hair cut. We were standing outside of one of the new remodeled clothing stores that just moved into the mall.

Cousin-:"What happened to Urban Behavouir?"

Me-:"Wasn't it Urban Outfitters?"

Cousin-:"Was it? No, was it?"

Me-:"No. Maybe your right. I know we had both stores, one in the mall, the other across the street from the hardware store. Either way, the one here is gone now."

We seriously have nothing in common but our dna. It was awkward, but nice. Her and I haven't kept in touch since our grandmother died which was 14 years ago. We bump into each other rarely. I went and did my shopping, and decided a Starbucks was in order.
So I'm standing there in line, and the chick making the coffee had her arms full of tattoos. We started talking, comparing notes on tattoo artists here in town and prices. I've been wanting to expand mine for the last year, but the artist who originally did mine moved away and I need to find a new one. So I got my coffee, and took the nearest table.
Suddenly I see the hot gay guy who was working the checkout part slide up to her talking, both giggling and blushing. I heard him say to her "go ask her, if you don't I'll do it for you." And they kept looking at me.
I got my bag, my coffee stood up and was starting to leave, when this guy who works at the sports store down the mall came in. I have been looking for an excuse to chat him up for months. But I didn't have a real reason to, just when I past him said "hi, haven't seen you in a while." as if were were old friends or something.

You never know what the day will bring you.

After supper coffees

"Okay, I want to know about the fairy tale. What's going to happen in it?"  Walsh asked. I had gone to Starbucks on my way home from mom's and Walsh was there with his wife and kids.

Wife-:"What fairy tale?"

Me-:"Uh just this thing I'm writing."  She nodded and seemed to be waiting for a better explanation. Sipping my coffee, I started playing with a sugar pack. "I just added a new chapter last night..." Walsh nodded sipping his own iced coffee. It's weird, I can sit here and type about almost anything, but just discussing my work like that in person with people, freaks me out. "...okay so we've got the character based on Werewolf King, he's the strong silent type right, and he's going to end up having a big secret. There is something he knows that no one else is aware of that's going to play big time down the road. And the character based on Rebel without a Cause, he's the sweet innocent one..."

Walsh-:"Why though?"

Me-:"Cause someone had to be the sweet innocent one, and the character based on Mad Hatter just didn't jive for it."

Walsh-:"Jive?"

Me-:"Yes, jive. You said you wanted to know so let me talk." I nearly swore but caught myself remembering the kids were right there beside us. "And of course you have the character based on Mad Hatter. He's totally...Mad Hatter."

My cousin giggled nodding, his knee bouncing which tells me that he was wanting a cigarette.

Wife-:"This going to take long cause we should get going." she didn't even look at me.

Walsh-:"Can I have a smoke first?"

Wife-:"Half. Hurry up."

He and I went outside for a few minutes so that he could have a cigarette and I could talk to him freely.

Me-:"How do you have half a smoke?" I asked stupidly.

My cousin shrugged and told me to hurry up with my story. "I see you made the Mad Hatter character hate the girl. Why?"

Me-:"You read wrong. He doesn't hate her, he just doesn't know what to do with her in the first half. She makes him uncomfortable. Is that what you really wanted to talk about or is something up?"

He shrugged again, blowing smoke over his shoulder. "Did you catch the promo on the website? What was up with Rebel without a Cause in that?"

Me-:"Wanted to be noticed I suppose. Showing off a bit."

Walsh-:"Seemed like it. Seemed like he couldn't sit still."

Me-:"I know that was strange eh? Showing his butt to the world for no reason. Maybe he just wanted to prove Mad Hatter isn't the only one with a nice butt and killer arms, and nice hands..."  my cousin tossed his cigarette that was not anywhere near finished and nodded to me. I heard the kids then behind me.

Walsh-:"I gotta go. I'll talk to you soon. Say hi to auntie for me."    I nodded turning to head home myself. 

Skin it

"Alice in Wonderland?" Walsh said. It was more a comment then a question. He stopped by for a minute with another book his step-mom had lent me.

Me-:"Yes and no. Alice in Wonderland, Red Ridding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, fairy tales in general. Just wait, wait till you see the whole queenie thing. Half planned out already."  We were talking about a bit of writing I've been doing on a short story.  "It will come together. Trust me on this, I know what I'm doing. I'm a professional of course, not like the others."

Walsh-:"Oh my god." he shook his head giggling at me. "At lest you're in a good mood."

Me-:"For once. Who knows how long it will last though?"

Walsh-:"Did Mad Hatter finally talk to you?" he had this look on his face just filled with hope as he lit a cigarette.

Me-:"Would I be this calm if Mr. Scratchy talked to me? Good god man. Trust me, the entire world would know if Mr. Scratchy talked to me. Everything is copy, I have a rep to protect."

He put his hand on my forehead. "Are you sure you're okay? Don't seem to have a fever, have you been drinking? I haven't seen you in this good a mood in I can't even remember."

Me-:"Nothing to drink. Not since before my knee injury last year. But shut up or you'll make me crave a martini. Or wine, or bourbon."

Walsh-:"Better get going, have to pick the kids up from the movies." he turned to leave just as the neighbour and three very loud chicks in way too tight skirts bound up the stairs and into the apartment across the hall. "Well looks like he's going to have fun."

Me-:"Wanna play guess how many diseases he's going to have in the morning?"

My cousin nearly choked on his cigarette he started laughing so hard. "I can't believe you sometimes. But you know what I can believe in?" he was down the stairs then opening the main door. "Mad Hatter."

Me-:"Has a great ass. And arms to die for, great hands. And what is it with men having perfect skin? No matter what we women do, our skin looks like death and you men, always perfect looking skin. Why?"

Walsh shrugged as music blasted from the across the hall neighbour's. "Ask Mad Hatter."  he tossed the filter of his cigarette in a puddle and left.

Thoughts?

Why can't you never find a naked man when you need one?

Writing. Trying to describe a character, getting distracted by the shape of the character's legs. Trying to figure out how hairy he should be? You know, weird basic character traits.  Commented on the social site about the naked man, thinking I'd get some sort of dirty jokes, or get a discussion started. But no. Everyone I chat with on there are night owls, and all live in places that are hours later then me. Not one of them has said anything other then my comment is funny.

Of course it's funny, I'm a funny silly woman.

But at the moment, it doesn't help my novel any.

Male Friend #2 (yeah still weirded out by him being a John)  is talking to me about flavoured tea.  I have no idea why?  He's got an obsession with flavoured tea. Everyone has their strangeness.

I just want to get the scene written so I can go to sleep. I am one of those who can not leave a scene midway. Which is why sometimes I can spend hours writing and maybe only end up with six or seven sentences, and other times have a full three pages in under twenty minutes.

Tea and men's legs...what a way to waste a night.

Dirty Laundry 29

"You said it and they won it."  Walsh had stopped by mom's.  His sister had left a book at mom's which needed to be returned to the school library.  I spend as much time here lately as I do at my own apartment.  He had picked Mavis up after school with his own kids, and she informed him if they didn't take the book back in the morning she'd get detention.

Me-:"You doubted my boys? Shame on you."  I was giddy.

Walsh-:"You need to stop doubting yourself."  he poked my cheek. Now I see where Mavis got the bad habit. "Speaking of your love life..." he blushed. "I was reading something online last night."

Me-:"My stuff." I filled up the kettle for tea. Waiting for Walsh to continue. He just stood there for a minute blushing. "Seriously, what's wrong? Is it going to make me upset?"

Walsh-:"Yes and no. I sort of checked out that one chat buddy of yours."  he took a step back and positioned himself so that he was blocking the kitchen door.

Me-:"And that would be which one now? I talk to a few people online."

Walsh-:"The one you've mentioned the other night."   I think he was referring to Male Friend #2 but I wasn't totally sure. "I don't like him. You can do better."

Me-:"Um you have me at a disadvantage, given I have no idea what you're going on about?"  the kettle boiled and I started to pour the water, ended up splashing it everywhere. He just stood there didn't help me clean it up.

Walsh-:"I can't put my finger on it, but I don't trust him. I wanted to see what the fuss was about after I read your post saying you got into that fight with the dude over the Pack, so I went to the social site, looked up the topic of the ppv and found your thread."

Me-:"Nosy."

Walsh-:"Yep. I just don't like him."

Me-:"Walsh, what's really going on here? You've never been this..." I had a handful of soggy paper towel in one hand and the sugar bowl in the other, and not thinking, started to gesture with my hands. Sugar slopped everywhere and the paper towel fell to pieces falling on my foot and the floor.  Now I had a sticky and wet mess. It's just been one of those clumsy days.

Walsh-:"I've never been what?"

Me-:"Nothing. Continue, I'm just having a, just continue."  I got the broom and tried to sweep it all up.

Walsh-:"Your chat buddy on that site, just be careful. And do me a big favour. Tell him you're dating a wrestler."  he was blushing to the point I thought he's head was going to explode he was so red.

Me-:"What the f**k did you do?"  I put the broom down. Actually I lost my grip on it and it went flying nearly hitting him in the stomach.

Walsh-:"Nothing." but he was still blushing so I know he did something. It went back and forth for a few long seconds, me asking what he did and him just saying he hadn't done anything, then he started to smile again, still blushing a little. I finished making the tea and put the broom away. "To change the subject. Tonight's show, what do you have in mind?"

Me-:"Uh, to watch it? Going to stay here again tonight and actually watch the show live. Why?"

Walsh-:"No you know that's not what I meant. What do you plan to blog about before the show tonight?"

Me-:"Where is this going? And don't say nowhere cause I don't believe you." I think I blushed a bit when I realized what I had said.

Walsh-:"You will believe after tonight. Trust me on this. You just have to write something specific for Mad Hatter."

I looked at my cousin for a second trying to figure out what the hell he was up to but all he did was make me laugh.  "How about no."

Walsh-:"Please. Please write something for Mad Hatter before the live show tonight. You still have time, you have a few hours still."

Me-:"You're freaking me out. Tell me why and I'll think about it."

Walsh-:"Sort of told a buddy about you and the wrestling blog. I really really need you to not make me loose a bet I made with him. Please write something anything."

Me-:"Interesting. Begging I like that. Fine." I took a big gulp of my tea and thought about it for a minute. "Okay, if he checks in before the live show, and sees it, then... huh cause it worked oh so well there before. Let's see."  I ended up finishing my tea and making a second cup while I thought and had Walsh standing there in my mom's kitchen biting his lip. I started to laugh cause this was literally the same thing we were doing last time too, drinking tea in mom's kitchen when he promised last time he'd shut up if he was wrong.  "No yeah I got nothing."  I was still laughing when his phone went off few minutes later. His wife was wondering where the hell he'd gotten to.  "Catch phrase. Everyone needs a catch phrase, let's see if he'll bite if I suggest a catch phrase. He might not you know. But..." I started to open the cupboards and looked at the cans of stuff hoping for inspiration, and dinner. "Werewolves, vampires, full on exorcist twist." I was sort of mumbling to myself running through things that were sort of connected. Nothing was coming to me, it's like the writer's equivalent of not being able to get it up. Sucks. "Fangs for the memories."  I shrugged. "Not the most original, but if he bites we'll know. Then you can win your stupid bet."  He nodded shaking his hand at me letting me know he thought it was a lame idea. "Well bite me. That's my suggestion. If Mad Hatter sees this in time before tonight and decides to go with the quote Fangs for the Memories,  then you win, and yeah. You realize there is nothing in this for me this time right?"

Walsh-:"You will believe he's the guy. I gotta go. Talk to you later."

Me-:"Later." 

I was left still needing to type it up before the show. Only my reputation on the line here.

Really? Really? dude really continued

Walsh texted me back.  "Are you going to be cool?"

Me-:"Bite me. Yeah, I'll be spiffy. But look at this to change the subject." I sent him a link for the conversation I was having in the fan thread. "Just focus on the one guy."

Walsh-:"Haha! The kid just asked you out. Unbelievable."

Yeah, the 17 year old kid I talk to on the social site, said he's coming to Canada this summer and asked me if I'd consider going out for coffee or something?   Dude are you f***ing kidding me?  My life is like a soap opera. A really bad lame ass soap opera, but a soap opera none the less.

It's funny when you think about it. Funny and pathetic.  I can't seem to target the right target audience.  I'm actually laughing at myself as I type this. It's one of those nights.

Tea time

I spent the weekend at mom's. The plan was to come over, watch the shows that she had recorded for me on her DVR, thus catching up with some wrestling, and that new show Hannibal.
In the middle of wrestling, when the door opened and there was my 7 year old cousin.

Mom had this look on her face because she just babysat last night. The kid only went home about three hours ago.  What the hell is she doing back?  Walsh was with her. The kid had decided she didn't want to stay at Walsh's over night like she was suppose to.  She's still scared of their sister, the drug addict.

She came in and announced very loudly that she would now be called Mavis. This was to be her name from this point on. I laughed.

Me-:"Okay Mavis. Try not to fly around the room too much, I don't feel like having to clean up the bat droppings."

She laughed like a maniac thinking it was funny.  Walsh shook his head and my mom just stared opened mouthed.

Me-:"Hotel Transylvania. The little girl vampire is called Mavis."  I was pointing at my cousin. "She went as that for Hallowe'en remember."    My cousin who now wishes to be called Mavis nodded and started to jump around in circles singing about being a baby vampire.   "Don't look at me, that's not my fault. I'm not the one who took her to see it."

Mavis-:"I saw it with my friend for her birthday at the movies. And then my mom took me to see it again. And I went with another friend for her birthday to see it cause I really wanted to see it again, but I didn't have cake because it was brown cake and I don't like brown cake. And then we rented it, and then you brought the DVD and we watched it here that one day when you were here. And you know what, I rented it again on tv."  she was twirling still, making me dizzy. "So I've seen it 6 times"  she held up one hand and tried to count off on her other hand the right amount of fingers but realized she had miscounted. "Call me Mavis! Call me Mavis!"

I noticed Walsh wasn't saying much. I guess he's still little put out with me. He stuck around long enough to have a cup of tea, at which point he commented on having seen the wrestling last night, this grin on his face.  "Did you watch it yet?"  I nodded. "And you still going to tell me that Mad Hatter isn't him?"  he yawned.

Me-:"You're worse then a girl lately you know that."

Walsh-:"Well, what do you expect I'm surrounded."  he nodded towards 'Mavis'. "What's it going to take to make you believe?"  he was out right laughing now.

Me-:"I don't know? Besides a full confession?" I was waiting for the kettle to boil, making the tea, and pointed my spoon at him. "okay here's the deal. I'll write something on the you know where, and if by chance Mad Hatter's him and he sees it before Monday in time for the live show, then if he mentions... if he mentions the sentence Feed my Frankenstein,  in their promo. You know, that old Alice Cooper song. Then okay I'll believe you. But if he doesn't, then you shut up about Mr. Scratchy being the Mad Hatter."

Walsh looked at me with this smirk and nodded. "Don't worry it's him."

I finished making the tea and handed him a cup. "God that's ironic."

Walsh-:"What is?"

Me-:"Talking about the Mad Hatter while having tea." I lifted my cup to make my point. Walsh burst out laughing to the point he had tears.  "God, it's not that funny. I'm not that funny. Don't die on me."

Clipped and snipped

Jody and I were talking about who we would like to see get a big push in the coming months in Company #1, when she told me that she'd been watching the replay of the mega ppv from the other week. This of course got us talking about the Pack.

Me-:"Company #1 has already neutered that puppy."

Jody-:"I just choked on my latte. What?"

Me-:"Mad Hatter. My cousin was showing me some of his old stuff online, and the dude is working on less then half steam with his new character. Sad really."

Jody-:"Uh, you mean ...what do you mean?"

Me-:"And here I thought you were like all knowledgefullness on those guys. You were the one who was all goo-goo about him few weeks back in that chat thread."

Jody-:"Right I was. Now, I want the big guy. I still don't get what you mean."

Me-:"His old character was so much better. Crazier. This version is like Mad Hatter Lite. This version in Company #1 seems to be more serious, less fun."

Jody-:"Okay all I heard was the word lite and all I can think is I wish my latte was a beer."

Morning coffee

"He's a Berger."

"What?" 

I was chatting with a few of the girls from the book site again. Cheryl was telling me about this new guy she's been talking to at her work.

Cheryl-:"You know, like on SATC. He's a total Jack Berger. Looks like the actor who played him, only with blonde hair and fatter, has been working on a screenplay now forever, which I'm sure will suck but I'm not going to tell him that."

Ah, yes another person who has fallen under the spell of a spring time romance. Those can be nice, fresh full of promise. This got me thinking first of the show, then of the real life Berger that I had met few years ago, Sci-Fi Guy.  He was/is a writer as well. Wonder if he ever finished his novel?

Me-:"So what's the damage?"

Cheryl-:"He's divorced and has moved back in with his dad while he looks for a new place to live."

Okay, this is more then just a familiar sounding thing.  I've dated a few guys in the past who moved back in with their dads after a divorce/break-up/getting fired, and I always ended up being the band-aid. Like a softer version of the rebound. 
I told Cheryl that too. Which of course, she didn't want to hear. I wouldn't want to hear it, hell I still don't want to hear it and I lived through it.

She had to go and get ready for work, while I decided to try to work on my own novel.  Try being the keyword here. My mind just wasn't on it. I kept thinking about everyone lately that I've been chatting with, and how they are all either in a new relationship or thinking about getting into one with someone they are totally crushing on.

Then there is me.   My current crush is a character based on a character played by a wrestler whom I've never met.   Confusing isn't it?  All this and I'm just having my first cup of coffee this morning. And of course, there is always Mr. Scratchy to think about.  

Dirty Laundry part 23

"What is with his hair?"  Walsh asked. I was watching a replay of last night's wrestling online.  My cousin had stopped by to get this old roasting tray I haven't used in years. It was something I had bought myself when I first moved here, before I ever became a vegetarian.

I shrugged. "Maybe he's doing his impression of The Other Guy. Those two standing there like that always kind of remind me of The Celebrity and The Other Guy.  Sort of look like them." I spilled coffee on myself as I was talking.  I don't think I own anything that doesn't have at lest one coffee stain.

Walsh laughed nodding.  "They do don't they. Like clones or something. Trying to be them."  he laughed again. I saw him reach into his coat pocket for his cigarettes.

Me-:"You going to have a smoke before you go back home?"

Walsh-:"I really need to stop. I've tried quitting twice, never works. Not allowed to smoke in the house anymore. Come outside with me for a minute." 
I went outside.  Honestly, I was hoping for some gossip, something about the family, anything.  No such luck.

Walsh-:"I caught up with your blogging. The stuff about the Pack. What if you're right just now?"

Me-:"I'm always right, I'm a girl even when I'm wrong I'm right."

Walsh-:"Sure you are."  he laughed in between coughing on his cigarette. "You just said that the Pack members with the hair and the one with the... anyways, what if they are trying to be like your tag team. Trying to see if you will notice and start writing about them the way you used to for The Celebrity and The Other Guy.  Cause I don't care what anyone else says, you have more ..." he waved his hand in circles for a few seconds like he was trying to think. "...influence then you think."

Me-:"Are you high, like right now?"

Walsh-:"Nope, wish I was but haven't had a thing in ages."  he took a long drag on the filter and tossed it, lighting another. Then stood there for a few very long seconds just enjoying it. The birds were making noise few feet from us, digging for worms from the rain we'd had earlier. "Just hear me for a second, after all the years of you know, all your stuff, you've got me thinking. You spent how much time invested in your tag team and they read you."

Me-:"The height of my career...or whatever it was."

Walsh-:"Yeah yeah anyways, have you ever thought that the Pack are looking for the same kind of ... press agent."

Me-:"No not really. Okay yeah that would be cool to be noticed by them, but...don't put thoughts in my head okay.  I spent so much energy already doing all this fan stuff that it made me sick. Literally, I spent like 45 hours a week at one point trying to do the wrestling stuff that I ended up with panic attacks and headaches and stomachaches from trying to stay on top of the episodes, to have on time for the few fans who read my stuff. To keep the few wrestlers who read me interested.  I don't think I can do that again."

Walsh-:"Were you happy?  When was the last time you were happy?"

I had to admit, it's been years. In the beginning of doing the wrestling stuff, I was beyond happy. Then it became more like a job and less fun, and stressed me out.  But isn't that how you find out what's not for you in life?  Hobbies that turn your stomach sour after awhile usually means that it's not something to try to base a career on. 

Me-:"Why all of a sudden do you want me connected to the wrestling industry?  This is like three times now you've sort of pushed me on this. What's going on for real now."

My cousin blushed and wouldn't look me in the eye as he tossed the second cigarette to the ground and stomped it out. Smoke drifted from the toe of his running shoe.

Walsh-:"Maybe I wish I had the balls to be you."

Me-:"Sitting behind a computer screen all day long, insulting international wrestling superstars hair and making comments about the colour of their tights. I don't have a life remember?"

Walsh-:"Maybe?"  he shrugged, twice. "I can't do what you do. I'd be too scared. Too embarrassed to pick someone and just talk like you do about them. You have their attention I say go for it. May the force be with you."

Me-:"You did not just Star Wars me."

He waved the roasting tray at me as he got into his truck rolling down the windows. "How about this one,  if you build it they will come. "  I went back inside, only to be caught in the lobby by this crazy old guy who seems to be staying for the weekend with the guy across the hall, he was sorting through the recycling and started talking to me about someone else who had just moved in next door to him.

I felt trapped. Wasn't listening to him. The old guy said something else about how his nephew was freshly broken up and wanted to know what I thought of the city?   I smiled and said that it depends on what side of the city you live on, then said good bye and closed my apartment door. 

As I write this now, I can hear PartyGirl down stairs with someone, the sound of a headboard slamming against a wall, the sound of a shoot 'em up movie coming from the apartment across the hall, and the wind having picked up outside hitting the windows.  It's raining again now.

And all I can think is, there is no point in asking for the roasting tray back I think I've used it once. That and I wonder if the Pack member with the bad hair ever realizes how messed up his hair usually is?

Just a tip

Everyone who has spent any time talking to me, knows how much of a SATC fan I am. I was hanging out again in the online book site, chatting about the SATC (the original book, the prequels, show and movies and how they differ in places)  when one of the girls made a comment about an episode. She had just had a real life Sex and the City moment with this new guy she's just started to date.

To her shock, she found out he wasn't circumcised.

In the second season, (Season 2 Episode 21 Old Dogs New Dicks) Charlotte dates a guy who is uncircumcised and freaks out about it, and talks him into getting it done.

She asked me what I thought about men who are not circumcised?  That's a good question actually, I've got to say, it really depends on the guy. Plain and simple. 
I've been with guys who were and I've been with guys who weren't.  Some of the guys, it actually made them more self conscious and some of them it seemed to boost their egos. 

She was upset that he wasn't cut, and for her, that equaled not enjoying the guy at all.  I feel sorry for the guy, as it's really not his fault in the end.

But, that's got me wondering, how much do we as a society place on the idea of sameness?  Have we become so jaded that we expect every lover that we have to be a certain way?  We already seem to alienate ourselves on so many other levels when it comes to dating and relationships, when did the unnatural become the expected natural?