Saturday, August 31, 2013

Can't sleep

It's after 3:30am here, can't sleep. I haven't had insomnia for awhile.  Ever have one of those moments where you doubt yourself completely?
Like you think you left the window open but when you go into the room it's closed.  It's one of those nights.

I don't know Herman, Mr. Scratchy, why I came in there right now? Maybe just to say good night to you...

Goodnight Herman, sweet dreams.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Post-it 30th Aug 2013

for some bizarre reason, my left arm hurts? I know I didn't hurt it, is it something on your end Mr. Scratchy?  Did you injure your left arm?
Been a few days Herman. I've been writing. Now, taking a night off. Yes, taking a night off of writing, so there might not be a segment on the fairy tale before Sunday. Haven't made up my mind yet. Long weekend here.

Well, Herman, we need something new. Something filled with daffodils and sunflowers.

I think you're reading this, an eyebrow raised dressed in a pair of very worn dark jeans, bare feet, hair unwashed, and that cup of tea in hand. I once said I thought you used a mug with a sticker on it, I think I said Ninja Turtles but that was like two years ago and I'm very lazy not wanting to check the blog so lets run with it...I think you've got a new mug that someone gave you to replace the other one cause it broke. Yeah, I think it was knocked off the table and smashed, and you were given another cutesy mug to replace it with ...The Avengers on it, or Spider-Man.

Hope all is well in your real world. Smile, it's just me.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Editing sucks man

Was watching an episode of Sex and the City on tv while at mom's today. It was on one of the channels that edits the episodes to be able to air them at lunch time. Over half the show was chopped out of the airing. Which made it really difficult to follow, and if you are like me and have seen every episode more then once, it's annoying. 

Speaking of editing oneself, I'm getting ready  to take one of the main characters in my fairy tale through the emotional wringer,  so Mr. Scratchy, tell the rest of the Pack and Dimmer and whomever else in the locker room that is reading the fairy tale, heads up.  I want to say that I'm going to put my heroes through hell.
The sex, the betrayal, the blood curdling screams...oh yeah baby. My little written soap opera is really close to my heart

What is it about soap operas that makes people so addicted?  Seriously, you should know the answer to this, you work on/in one every day. Wrestling is the greatest form of soap opera there is because it's done with audience participation.
I'm thinking too much again. I'm in writing mode, and just thought I'd write a quick post on here before getting back to my fairy tale.  Working on the part for tomorrow's post.

Okay Herman, hope you're having a howling good evening. Smile, smirk and snarl babe. 

Monday, August 26, 2013

Post-it note Aug 26th 2013

What ya doin?

Caught the show tonight, and have to say, the social site was a buzzing with giddiness over the whole topic of posterboy-ability.  Everyone has their opinion on who should be the identifying wrestler.
Me, personally, I think it should right now be Rebel without a Cause. Yeah I do.
I am always glad to see him given the spotlight as he was tonight. I did give a gasp at one point with the couple of falls he took. Every time I see his matches where he takes hard knocks like that off of heights, I wonder how he manages to survive let alone get up and continue?

Dimmer looked good tonight. There was a scene of pit stains but I think I'm the only one who bothers to look. It's good, means he has a flaw.
And it's always good to see Werewolf King with that evil smirk on his face during the Pack matches. He doesn't smile on camera enough. Why is that?

Okay, Mr. Scratchy, I imagine you checking in tonight, letting out a deep sigh, maybe a burp crunching on anti-acids. Maybe you had tomato sauce based dinner?  I don't know, first thing that popped into my head.  I think you are standing there, reading this, small smirk on your face showing this to your buddy, who is leaning over your shoulder reading out loud.
Caught you didn't I?  Anyways, I think you're unwinding for the night, and are checking in because you need that giggle factor. Dressed in a pair of shorts, grey of course, and a faded torn t-shirt.

The fairy tale... in case you haven't caught up tonight...oh-ho-ho my lovely twist of barbed wire, is getting sinister. Well, as sinister as I can get on a PG sanctioned blog. The character based on Mad Hatter, he's just hit a place of no return.

Okay Herman, I have to be  getting back to the fairy tale now, writing the piece that will be posted tomorrow.

As always Mr. Scratchy, I hope I made you smile. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

post-it Aug 23rd 2013


How are you tonight?

I think you're checking in tonight, in between stuff.   Sitting there in those grey pajamas, eating oatmeal and having a cup of tea.
Something tells me this is a bad night for communication, cause things have been weird with everyone. Both online and in real life.

But this is me, reaching out anyways. Grabbing your... attention.

and as always, I hope Mr. Scratchy, I've brought a small smile to your lips.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Dirty Laundry 31

My aunt, Walsh's mom was over for a bit tonight visiting my mom. Walsh came to pick her up, and hung out for awhile cause she wasn't wanting to head back to her over heated apartment. Whole reason I crashed at mom's last two days, air conditioning.  We had a +30C with a +38C humidex today, and I can't function in the heat.
Walsh caught up with the fairy tale while he was here.

"So you are going to turn it into a love story?"

Me-:"There will be grave robbers and a ghostly possession coming. And yes, I think it's time to let it lean that way a bit."  he shook his head at me then shrugged.  "You don't agree?"

Walsh-:"I wouldn't. Unless, you're trying to prove something." he elbowed me laughing. I glared hitting his knee. "It's so obvious where you're going with the character based on Mad Hatter."

Me-:"Obvious? Obvious to who? I've got a cunning plan in the works. I'm hoping that the few readers..."

Walsh-:"ie the Pack and Dimmer."

Me-:"...I have will be surprised by the romance. Few more readers then just them."

Walsh-:"Sorry. There's me, and Ben, and that one ex of yours. That's eight."

Me-:"You're so not funny. Few more then that; but anyways." I stood up stretching getting myself a cup of coffee. "Point being, I can't tell what my regular readers are liking the most. I thought the more paranormal stuff would be more interesting, which seems to get a lot of hits, but the few scenes I've done that are romance-like have gotten double the hits of the rest of it. And I've sort of written it so that all the male characters could end up  being the romantic interest, so it's not just one character that seems to get the readers attention."

Walsh-:"Open comments then."

Me-:"They are. No one leaves comments. Like ever. But..." I spilled my coffee on myself and mom's rug, which I had to quickly clean. "But, I saw something the other night, that made me think Dimmer might be getting a kick out of it."

Walsh-:"Dimmer?"  I nodded, pulling up the promo I was talking about. "How do you get Dimmer liking the fairy tale out of two words?"

Me-:"Shut up. I think he digs it. Think they all get a laugh out of it. I mean, there is so much more I'd like to write in it, but the blog is listed as a PG sanctioned blog. I can only get away with so much." I refilled my half empty cup. "If it was a proper novel, there would be swearing, more blood and violence, and by now at lest three sex scenes."

Walsh-:"That would be cool. I do like it, I think it's funny and I'm sure Mad Hatter does too."

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Do we fear love?

Do we fear love?

When I say we, I mean society in general.  I was just watching a movie about a woman who survived an abusive relationship, and my mind wandered. Wandered to my own love life and past relationships, to my writing and some of the ideals we have, that I have about men and heroes/bad boys. To my current fairy tale. The metaphors I'm using in it, the iconic imagery I'm using to define situations. To deal with my own personal issues.
Cause that's what writers do. We try to deal with our personal issues, dissect them and fix what needs fixing in our lives, no matter what anyone thinks, that's what writers do.

I think I fear love. How crazy is that?  The thing I've been hunting for my whole life, that I've been dreaming of, whining about not having, striving for; I think it's my biggest fear.
And that fear has got to come from someplace.

The term, be careful what you wish for you just might get it, seems to be the quote of the week for me. Quote of the decade.

What happens if I find it?

Monday, August 19, 2013

Monday night 19th Aug

Night after a ppv, and of course the social site is hopping.  Came in here to post nearly a half hour ago, and keep getting interrupted.

We hit +37C humidex and I can't handle the heat. Came to mom's, have had the air conditioning running all day.
Which means, watching tonight's wrestling live.   And all I can think is, I need to get some more done on the fairy tale. I added a few new characters and thinking up a small twist.

Okay Herman, Mr. Scratchy, what's up?  Strange vibes, last half hour. I imagine you checking in right now, just cause you need a moment to relax. I think I give you that, given I make you giggle.

And Dimmer was just on tv and dude, I don't like the suit combo. Naked would be much much much better.
As you can tell, I'm just jumping topic, saying the current thing on my mind. It's one of those nights.

Interruptions keep coming on the social site, so I guess it's time to wrap up my ramblings for now.

smile, it's only me.

Why do we pick the wrong people?

I get a weekly astrology newsletter. Of course I do, it's part of the boo-bitchcraft. Anyways, today there was a lesson on how we can miss the forest for the trees. Talking about how sometimes, we need to fall for the wrong people in order to understand the real value of true love and friendship.
How people let us know how they really feel about us by what it is they are saying or not saying.

That got my attention.

Then I started to think, yeah that's me alright, always picking the wrong men. Which then had me thinking, nearly an excuse really, that I'm a writer I can romanticize any man.  Which, for a story is the ultimate gift, but for real life, an anchor around my neck.
But isn't that what all romance stories are based on?  Falling for the wrong guy thinking he's Mr. Right when he's really Mr. Wrong-Double Wrong? 

Let's look at my biggest influences,  Sex and the City  and all Jane Austen's works.  In SATC, all the characters have to go through horrible break ups, cheating, lies, before they are able to find the truth in the matter and their perfect mate.  The same thing happens in pretty much every novel ever written by Jane Austen, and the woman wrote them 200 years ago.
Mr. Wickham is the classic bad boy, a charming beautiful liar with gambling issues and hints at domestic violence.  Yet, all the women fall for him.

Are we not seeing the forest for the trees?  Are these stories really more a warning then anything else and we've just taken them the wrong way? Literally?

When I started this blog, it was because I had been actively dating and was aggressively disappointed and scared at times, by the guys that were coming into my life at that time. I had been blogging about it casually elsewhere on the internet, and that series of posts were my most popular. So I decided to dedicate a full blog to it. 

Then I stopped dating. Ironically.

I literally said out loud, I couldn't handle any more of the bad dates and scummy guys that were coming into my life, and just wanted the right guy. That I wouldn't date again until he came into my life.

You know the old term be careful what you wish for you just might get it... but if you've read much at all of this blog over the last few years, you've seen just how many Mr. Wrongs have come into my life. Usually by my own doing. Because I fell for them, they never fell for me.  The few times, pushed by others even when my gut told me they were a bad choice.  In the end, I'm the only one who it affected.

Which brings me back to the lesson.  When do you know that you're picking the wrong person because there is a warning that this type is not compatible with your core values/beliefs/heart and to therefore look again at what's really beside you? Or that you're picking them out of desperation?

I know what I'm truly looking for in life, it's just taken a lot of pot holes in the road to see the path isn't perfect. And when Mr. Right shows up, neither of us will hesitate.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

sunday 8:45pm Aug 18th

Doorbell rang about fifteen minutes ago, my cousin Walsh was standing there smoking.

Walsh-:"It's ppv night. I went to auntie's expecting pizza and the ppv but there was no pizza, no ppv, no you.  Just three old ladies laughing." he waved the smoke around.

Me-:"Yeah, mom's church group called her last night about coming over tonight, and since the Pack were only listed for the pre-show, I didn't bother to try to get her to order it. Being poor sucks."

Walsh-:"Yeah, caught that part online. Your man won." he grinned at me like a little kid would after finding their first dollar from the tooth fairy. "You can't say anymore it's not him."  I grunted. "Well, no ppv so I'd better get home give the kids a bath before bed." he tossed the filter of the cigarette then looked at me. "You okay?"

Me-:"Sure. Just all this time I thought it was The Celebrity, and it wasn't and then this all unfolded and you were right, I was wrong and now what?" I shrugged hanging onto the door. "And the damned crush has gotten worse and worse and don't say it, just don't."

Walsh-:"What, that maybe you were suppose to have a crush on him?" he gave me that grin again as he got into his truck.

Post-it 3:45pm

Afternoon Herman, Mr. Scratchy.

I imagine you checking in, tired. Your iPod on, a cup of coffee in hand. A slight pout on your face from stress, dressed in track pants and a dirty t-shirt. And I think it's dirty because you spilled stuff on it...soup maybe. 
I suppose I should say something like, good luck on the ppv...try not to bleed too much.

But instead, I'm going to say to you Herman, I hope I made you smirk and smile and giggle for a few seconds.

P.S.    what's your favourite vampire movie?

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Left side post-it continued

Caught up with last night's wrestling.  Sitting there, watching the Pack have a match, when suddenly I see Mad Hatter get smashed in the left side of the temple.

This was on the DVR (mom's dvr to be exact) so I had the chance to rewind and make sure I didn't see wrong.  Nope, didn't see wrong. Mad Hatter was smashed on the left side of the skull hard.

I dropped the remote. Which luckily, didn't break just sort of bounced.

What's ironic about it is that, Tuesday night, I was sitting here in my living room when I got what I call ghost pains.
These out of nowhere for no reason pains. They happen sometimes. Not like they used to few years ago, but every once and awhile I get them.  This made my ear ring, my eye twitch and water, my cheek feel like it was swelled up, my nose run, my jaw ache and gave me a headache for about a half hour. 

I posted Wednesday morning, flat out asking Mr. Scratchy what the hell he'd been up to Tuesday night around 10:45pm EST cause I knew something messed up had happened to the left side of his skull. you're...

Friday, August 16, 2013

Bad idea

I was leaving mom's while ago, heading home, when this one construction worker who was cleaning up from the building next door started to talk to me.  Seemed innocent enough at the time. He asked if I knew if there was another bus that came down that street or if they were done for the night.  I had to tell him I had no idea cause they've changed the schedule.
He was cute, not drop dead gorgeous or anything, but cute. Tall, dark hair, clean shaven, tanned and tattooed.  He didn't tell me his name, just asked if I lived there or if I was one of the home care nurses?  Which is an odd question in itself given I was dressed all in black with one of my horror shirts. Not something a nurse would be allowed to wear to work.
Then I see what looks like my cousin Walsh's truck drive down the street. The construction worker's phone made a noise and that was the end of talking to him, so I came home. Barely got home when I got a message from Walsh.

"Don't waste your time on him. He's got three kids and two ex-wives."   so it was him who drove past.

Damn. Just my luck, finally get noticed for the first time in god knows how long, and he's the typical trash you find in this town.  Never did find out his name either.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Two Too post-it

Was watching the movie The Mirror Has Two Faces, at mom's.  Cried my damn eyes out. I've been wanting to see this for awhile, but never able to find a copy. They had it to rent on demand today.  Is it bad that I really identified with the character?
Barbra Streisand plays this woman who is a literary professor, and ends up in a marriage of convince with a math professor. He is working on his next book and happy she's not attractive enough to distract him, while she's longing for romance. They do fall in love but not the way you think.

The whole film deals with the idea of how sometimes we fail to find love because it's not what we expect. How we get trapped by the well, trappings of beauty.

Then as I was leaving the building, bumped into Tarot Lady. Is it bad that I want to roll my eyes every time lately that I bump into her?  She was telling me about a client she had done a cleansing for and how the whole thing drained her so much and it was for nothing because two years after the fact, the client lost their job.

Um okay what?  You're shaking your head on this one too aren't you?  I know Herman, you are. The more I talk to Tarot Lady, the more I want to laugh.  Not in a good way either.
I don't know Tarot Lady is totally full of crap, or if she's doing what she does with bad intentions?

Anyways, Mr. Scratchy, I imagine you checking in tonight, grunting a "uhuhm" sound as you read this, wondering why I let things get to me? You're in an industry where I'm sure nothing gets to you. I mean, you have to be tough skinned right?  And most men don't let anything eat at their nerves.
I wonder about you Mr. Scratchy.  Do you have a voice to match the nicname? A smoky sound, or a smooth tone when you talk? Are you punk rock or jazz?  Are you blonde/sandy or jet black or redhead?  Blue eyes or brown or green? Tall over 6 foot, or closer to 5 foot 8? 
Okay Herman, I imagine you tonight, reading this with a take-away shake in hand. Maybe a burger with that.  I don't know what makes me think you would eat a lot of take-away, but I do. I suppose it's the whole idea of you being on the road all the time.  I think I might finally know who you are, and I've left my voice about it in the fairy tale. Good hunting hon.

Smile Herman, it'll make you feel better.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Left side post-it note

Okay Herman, Mr. Scratchy... what happened last night to the left side of your skull?
Don't ask why I'm asking, just deal with the weirdness that is me asking.  Timeframe would have been around 10:45pm EST last night (Tuesday Aug 13th)

With that said, hello Herman, how's your day going?  Sore?

I imagine you checking in today, chewing on a plastic spoon, a baseball cap pulled down over your face casting shadows. Shadows, always with the shadows around you. I believe you have a take-away coffee in hand, the cup is one of those brown coloured generic ones, very strong coffee. And some strange plastic wrapped snack...something as mundane as a twinkie.

And if I'm even semi right, you're either laughing like a lunatic at me or swallowing in fear. Either way, your buddy is leaning over your shoulder wide eyed, mouth open scared.

smile, it's just me.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Tidbits for Dimmer

You are a hot topic it would seem tonight on the social site.  But I have to say, catching some of the recaps on the website...what's up with the mustache?
That look makes me think of the Three Musketeers say d'Artagnan.  Just dude?  Are you secretly someone's stunt double?  Is it a job related facial scruff?  Did you loose a bet? Are you trying to win a bet? 

I'm sure whomever you go home to at night and share your life with can't like it? They must try to get you to shave that thing every chance they get? 

Dimmer, you're gorgeous, please shave that thing off.

Tidbits Aug 12th 2013

I forgot the power of a low cut top. 

I had to go with mom to the doctor's this afternoon, and I made the choice to not wear the same old horror film t-shirts I've been sporting for the last year and a half (I have eight of them) and broke out the tank tops. 
Dirty glares from mom. She put her purse up in front of my chest when we left her building.  Like what the hell?  I swear, I get treated like I'm 12 or something.
Three hours later, called a taxi to come home from the appointment, waiting outside the building, and this dude walked out of the building next door on his cell phone, turned around to walk backwards, tripped over his own feet, then continued on around the block twice both times looked back over his shoulder, said hi on the second round and then went to his building and just stood there for a moment, done on his cell phone. He started to walk towards us when the taxi showed up, then turned around and went back into the building.

Damn, can't tell you how much I needed that.  Little bit of staring goes a long way.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Just down the street

I was walking home from mom's after supper, and this dog ran up to me with a stick trying to get me to play fetch with it.
Cute dog, puppy, black with white paws.  Then I hear "Scooter come here. Scooter come here. Scooter...bad dog." I turned as saw this guy, his arms filled with boxes. He just moved in three buildings away.  "Sorry about that, he's a really friendly thing. You're not allergic are you?" he blushed.
I told him no, as I mentally cursed myself for once again being a total slob, and wishing I'd gotten that haircut I've been complaining I need. Why is it I always bump into cute guys when I look like something you find clinging to the bottom of your shoe?
"I'm Todd."  I nodded and told him my name, and I know I was smiling a bit.  He was about 6 feet, curly dark hair, greeny-blue eyes, and an old Black Sabbath shirt on, but most important, no wedding ring.
I was about to ask him where he's from when the door to the house opened and this skinny blonde called out to him.   So much for the no wedding ring part.  I continued on down the street and was turning into my own parking lot when I felt something smack into my leg. There Scooter was with the stick in his mouth again. Todd ran over and grabbed the puppy saying he was sorry, the dog was new he'd just gotten him.
"Oh you live here?" he nodded to my building. I said yes and I know I was blushing by that point. "Then I'll maybe see you around."   it was a statement not a question.

I haven't liked a normal average guy in a long while, just my wrestlers; have a bad feeling about this. Best to avoid at all costs.

Like a faceplant to the turnbuckle

Doorbell about a half hour ago.  I was still sleeping. Stumbled out to answer, and it was my cousin Walsh and some guy. It was starting to rain, they were dressed in work clothes.
They had a construction job in the area and since the rain put a stop to the day's work, they were on their way home.

Me-:"Why are you here?"

Walsh said nothing just gave one of his giggles. Didn't even introduce his co-worker. He flipped through a few of my DVDs. "We're going for coffee while we wait to see is they are going to call us back to work. Thought you might want to come with us?"

Me-:"You woke me up. Not showered, not dressed."

Walsh-:"Well, I asked. Caught up with the fairy tale. Who's the new character? Is it Jimmy Jacobs?"

Me-:"That would have been interesting. No, the new character isn't even based on a wrestler. I'll have to remember to add a character based on him for the other half. No I was thinking so much about the fairy tale that I was dreaming about it and saw this guy in the dream."

My cousin giggled nodding.  He had that look on his face like he's up to something again. They started to leave and then turned in the doorway leaning on it. "You sure you don't want to come for coffee with me and John?" 

Me-:"No I hate you right now."

They left, my cousin laughing, his co-worker John confused. Me wanting now to watch old Jimmy Jacobs matches.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

post-it Aug 8th 2013

Evening Herman. Mr. Scratchy.

I bet you're sitting there tonight, catching up on stuff, maybe a bourbon in hand.  I think you're working on that painting, listening to the sounds of the neighbours. Yes, I spell neighbours with a "u" because I'm Canadian and it's how we spell it.

Stop laughing. It's only slightly funny.

I'm assuming Mr. Scratchy that you've been to Canada. You must have given your job?  My city is crap, but the rest of the country is beautiful.

I was watching Mockingbird Lane  earlier. Really wish they had picked it up as a series. But anyways, it just got me thinking.  Thinking about scars.  Yeah, weird right? I mean even for me weird.  All I could think was that the way they handled the updated version of the character of Herman Munster, is how Frankenstein would have actually looked more so then the classic image from the black and white movies. Then I started thinking about my own scars, and the appeal of the original show back in the 1960's. The idea that anyone can find love.

Corny. But that's me.

Well my little twist of barbed wire, smile. My scars have almost healed.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Monday afternoon post-it note

Herman...Mr. Scratchy:
how are you?

I imagine you checking in right now, having dinner getting ready for work. Salad and chicken I think. I hope you've been one of the faithful reading the fairy tale. I think it's funny, so far.
As I was saying, I imagine you checking in before work, maybe you've got your iPod on, listening to your favourite cd, just finishing a photo shoot or something.  I tend to like to forget that part of the job...on purpose.
I don't know Mr. Scratchy, if you've ever seen the movie Grease 2 ?  With Maxwell Caulfield and Michelle Pfeiffer ?  It was one of our favourite movies back in the day. And when I say our, I mean everyone I went to school with in the neighbourhood.  But Caulfield played the character with the double life, nerdy outcast by day - cool biker dream guy by night.  That's the you in my head.  Nerdy Wrestler guy.

Okay Herman, keep smiling.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Another round of the J-word

I was watching a movie last night, and the J-word head count started up.  1 character named John, and in the credits 4 Johnathans.
Went to the grocery, and one of the new guys named Jon was working, as was the John-who-is-going-by-the-name-Josh because there are already 5 guys working there named John. He smiled and nodded when he saw me.
Walked into mom's place, she was on the phone and I heard her say "You mean John. Barb's brother...or was it her son? Weren't they both a John?"  

So, it's started again. The cosmic joke.

There is some poor unfortunate soul out there named Johnathan who is being bashed over the skull with versions of my name.  Poor boy, by the time he is thrown into my life, he's going to hate hearing my name.