Friday, May 31, 2013

Is there anything hotter then Jude Law?

I had been in a chat thread with Male Friend #2- John- on the social site for a bit tonight, when I had gotten a text from Walsh. Really becoming a regular thing, both situations. I ended up phoning Walsh back, and telling him about the chat thread. 
Male Friend #2 had started to make some comments that were feeling, off kilter.

Walsh-:"First off, why are you still chatting with this guy? And second, he's jealous. Back away from the chat thread. Just ignore him."

He had been commenting on Mad Hatter for some reason.

Me-:"Yeah, I have no idea why I continue to talk to him? He's there. You think he's jealous? Why?"

Walsh-:"Uh hello, look at it. Mad Hatter is younger then he is, successful, talented. Your little chat buddy there, he's not attacking his talent cause he knows better, he's attacking the way that Mad Hatter looks. JEALOUS! What's his profile say?"

Me-:"Not much. His name mostly."

Walsh-:"This is the dude with the million issues right? The one who claims he was a wrestler?"

Me-:"Said his brother was a wrestler in college. So yeah."

Walsh-:"He's jealous. But he's the one with all the issues right? On the million meds?"


My cousin laughed, and I could hear him clicking something on the other end of the phone. "Yeah, you really need to stop chatting with this guy. He freaks me out. You notice, he's butted in on all your chat threads where you talked to another man?"

Me-:"Wasn't even paying attention."

Walsh-:"Start. Oh I see he's not done yet either." he laughed. "Rogaine. Wow, that's f***ing immature of him, just stupid. He just pointed out how he's got long thick hair and how Mad Hatter doesn't..."

Me-:"Nothing wrong with Mad Hatter's hair. Other then the bangs being too long, but it's part of his character's charm."

Walsh went into a mad fit of laughter for a minute. "You keep trying to say you want the crush on Mad Hatter to end. Yeah right! Admit it, he's the one!"

Me-:"I admit only that I will defend Mad Hatter when others talk crap about him. And that he's hotter then Jude Law, and that's saying something."

Can we get Dimmer naked?

I was watching this week's episode of the rookie show, and there was like one shot of Dimmer while on commentary, and all I could think was "damn, he is wearing too much clothes."

And why is there nothing new for him on his profile page on the website?  They used to have like a comedy video of him every week, now not so much.

We need to see more Dimmer.  Preferably without the ten layers of suit and tie... okay he could keep the tie, and those fake nerd glasses he wore that time...

Just seems a shame to hide Dimmer in clothes.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Ask a psychotic question, get a psychotic answer

"Oh my god. How are we even related?" the text from Walsh read.

Me-:"Reading the blog?"

Walsh-:"You know why the pizza chick stole the order right? Cause she wanted to check out her competition. Johnathan isn't done with you yet."

Me-:"If you say so. Competition sure right! Chick was holding my dinner hostage. You just don't hold hostage a plus size girl's dinner."

Walsh-:"Hahahah! True but the cat fight would be fun to watch."

Me-:" My ideal would be being the last woman on earth with the last thousand or so men on the planet. I figure I'd have at lest a year and a half with them before they all went gay out of desperation. Would be the end of the world no population reproduced."

Walsh-:"Oh my god."

The usual

Bad weather here most of the day, so it was a lazy day for me. Translation, didn't bother to get out of my pajamas or shower.  So when supper time rolled around, I decided to take the lazy but expensive way out, and ordered pizza; instead of going to the grocery.  Going to the grocery would have involved showering and changing out of my pajamas and washing my hair.
Laziness it is.

Pizza arrived, some brunette with five pounds of make-up and half a bottle of hair spray was delivering it. She giggled, more of a snicker actually. And stood there for a minute not giving me my pizza. I asked the price, she rolled her eyes and told me. Paying for the pizza I still had to wait for her to hand it over to me from the hot box.

Pizza chick-:"You know Johnathan right, one of the other drivers?"

Me-:"The usual delivery guy?"

She nodded still not having given me the pizza.  "He was late from another run so I took this one."  she was just standing there for whatever reason, making me wonder if the pizza was ever going to be handed over?  "He's got this building marked as a no steal."

Me-:"Um okay?"

She finally opened the hot box and started to remove the pizza, then stopped holding on to it.

Pizza chick-:"Are you the one dating his OLDER cousin ----------? Cause Johnathan has mentioned this apartment few I'm guessing it's you he's talking about?" she finally handed over the pizza.

Me-:"Not dating his cousin. Nice to know I'm on still on his mind. Tell Johnathan that I said hi." 

The chick nodded making a noise as she folded up the hot box and started to head down the stairs, still snickering. 

Teenaged girls, the death of civilization.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Remeber what the door mouse said

I've got that old song stuck in my head "White Rabbit". I've had to track it down on youtube and listen to it, but it's just not going away.  There's those doors of perception again.

Herman, how's your day been?

I imagine you tonight Mr. Scratchy, checking in, a beer in one hand, a dirty baseball cap on covering your eyes, a fried egg sandwich in the other hand.  I have no idea where that thought came from either man.  I imagine you having just come in from taking your dog for a walk, and yes I still think you have a dog, a pair of dirty jeans on from that walk where the dog was jumping up on you. I imagine that you've started to study Tarot cards. Which I believe I mentioned that idea before few months ago. Anyways, I imagine you are probably better at them then me by now, and I've been using them for over twenty years. I imagine, that given you're ability to be a success in the industry, you've been able to master anything you decide to try. So, getting back to the idea of you and Tarot cards...I imagine you have been using them today and just maybe the Nine of Cups has been popping up for you. (the Ace of Swords for me all day)
I imagine you sitting there now, reading this post, scratching at your right shoulder, maybe starting to pay attention to names that repeat around you...
Okay Mr. Scratchy, as always, I hope I brought a smile to your lips.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Tale as old as...

"So you two didn't like each other?" Walsh asked. He had stopped by on his way to the grocery.

Me-:"Gee, what tipped you off?"  I was less then impressed and was getting a sinus headache.  "You checking in on the blog again?"

Walsh-:"No Duncan texted me. Told me he thought you were a bitch."

Me-:"And? You say that like it's news or something."

Walsh-:"Oh yeah?"  he was picking at a piece of the doorframe that was splintered. "So what's wrong with him?"

Me-:"He's a dink. What you want me to say? I didn't like him."

Walsh-:"You don't like anyone." he pointed at me crossing his arms.

Me-:"It's sweet you want to help everyone, but you're a really lousy matchmaker. You're not our Grandfather."   Our grandfather had a talent for setting people up, just seemed to be able to know who would be perfect for each other just by looking at them.  That's a talent I wish I had gotten. He just glared at me. "Besides, you're the one who keeps saying that there is a Johnathan in my future. And that Mad Hatter is my Mr. Scratchy. You can't be right about those both and still play matchmaker. Pick one and stick with it."

Walsh-:"Uh, yes I can be right about those both." he was blushing, that grin of his wide. "Just wait and see."  I was shaking my head at him still not sure what he's got up his sleeve?  "I guess I should get going. Said I'd only be gone for like twenty minutes and it's been nearly that now." The neighbour opened his door, walked down the stairs never taking his eyes off of Walsh, and left the building. "Okay. Has the pizza guy been back at all?"

Me-:"No. Why?"

He shrugged. "Took the kids for pizza the other night after school and he was working. Kept waving at us each time he walked past the table."

Me-:"Huh. Maybe he thinks you're cute or something?"  

He glared at me again. "Anyways, better go. I'm surprised you haven't said anything about Mad Hatter scratching the other day?"

Me-:"F***ing excuse me?"

Walsh-:"There was a promo from like a few days ago, Mad Hatter was scratching. You going to tell me you didn't see that?"  I shook my head in shock. "You of all people are going to tell me that you didn't..." he moved from the doorway and went for my laptop. Took him about ten minutes to find the video online. "There! Now tell me again how you just won't believe it's him."  he was so proud of his find.

Me-:"Doesn't count."  I was saying the words, as I scrolled back on the video watching the two seconds over and over again.

Walsh-:"Why not? He's scratching the right side of his face."

Me-:"His beard! You scratch your jaw all the time when you haven't shaved. Not shaving does not count! Damn it! Don't do this to me!"

Walsh-:"Do what?"  he was smiling, nearly laughing just proud of himself.

Me-:"Get my god damned hopes up shithead!"

He moved back towards the door of the apartment, and I swear he was beaming.  "Bingo." he poked my cheek. "Finally, no more denying it's him."   My cousin stood there for a few seconds before leaving, still smiling wide, singing the theme from the cartoon Beauty and the Beast.

No, no you don't

Went to the grocery, the place was packed as it seems to be most the time lately. Standing in line forever, when someone tapped me on the shoulder and informed me they were going to open the next check-out.  I blindly moved to the next check-out, not having paid attention to the guy. 
I looked up and saw it was one of the two new guys named Jon.  I know I made a noise of disbelief and sort of stared at the ceiling for a second.

Jon-:"You okay Ma'am?"

Oh my god, he Ma'am-ed me.

Me-:"Yes, I'm fine...Jon no H." 

He looked at me like I told him I was going to eat his first born on toast.  I caught the smirk from one of the ladies working the next check-out as she was listening. 
I left the store heading towards mom's. There was a group of construction workers lounging around the patio tables near the Starbucks door. As I walked past them, I noticed that one was staring at me. He had been in mid sentence chatting away, when he starting staring.  Then he called my name.

I turned to see what was going on, and he motioned for me to come over to the table.  I just stood there for a few seconds and he called my name again. So I dragged my ass over to the table.

"Walsh's cousin right? He pointed you out while ago when we were here."  he was pointing to the Starbucks.  He had on a baseball cap so I have no idea what his hair really looks like, his work clothes, was filthy from having been digging, but he looked like he had one of those weather beaten natural tans, and a mouth that seemed too big for his face. 


Duncan-:"Walsh's cousin?" he said my name again laughing. I nodded.

Me-:"When was this?"

He shrugged " a few weeks ago. You were leaving the bank and we were coming out of the Starbucks."  he gestured to the bank which is across the parking lot. "Hi. We talked the other day on the phone."

Me-:"Right. You don't look anything like GraveDigger."

The two guys that were with him just seemed bored, one even got up and wandered back into the building.

Duncan-:"Some people think I look a little like him."

Me-:"They lied. Did you need something?"

Honestly, don't think he was expecting me to argue.  The other dude sitting there was laughing full on by this time, like he couldn't believe anyone was calling him on his crap.  Duncan shook his head little bit of a red tint to his neck.

Duncan-:"Just thought I'd say hi."

I nodded and turned to leave, continuing on to mom's. Spent the afternoon there catching up on last night's wrestling and a week's worth of my soap opera. 

Which brings me to a comment Walsh made about Mad Hatter's hands.  I have no idea what he was going on about, there were no bandages on Mad Hatter's hands. The athletic tape was white and looked like a layer of grey, but he's done that before. 

And they called it puppy love

"Oh my god! He's got such a crush on you!" 

Jody and I were chatting for a bit tonight. First time in weeks we've had a chance to chat. What with her semi-boyfriend and all, she's had no time.  Tonight's topic had started off as normal, being about wrestling, and somehow got turned around to Male Friend #1 on the social site.

Jody-:"You really need to stop flirting with him, less you're planning on dating him. Careful, don't think he's had his heart broken yet."

Me-:"He's been flirting with everyone last few weeks, take no notice of it."

Jody-:"Not like that he hasn't."  She directed me to a thread where Male Friend #1- the kid in Mexico- had been calling me cutie and darling and leaving little smiley faces.

Me-:"Uh what?"  That's new and odd. I can honestly say I've never had a guy call me cutie or leave me smiley faces anywhere, ever.  I'm not sure how to react to it.

Jody-:"You realize that the last five things you talked about on the site, he's hit the 'approve' or 'funny' button?"

Me-:"No, no I didn't."  I went to check and sure enough, the dude liked the fact I had checked into the topic of Rebel without a Cause. And he knows I'm not dating anyone so I can't even detour him.

Jody-:"I think it's really sweet."

And I'm thinking, is it okay to follow Walsh's advice and say there is a very strong wrestler in my life?  That would be bad wouldn't it?  That would be wrong.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Buzz buzz

Thought it was going to be a very quiet night, then got a text from cousin. "You watching the show?"

Me-:"No, at home, no know this. Catch it tomorrow on online."

Walsh-:"You're boys won."

He likes to do that to me, spoilers.

Me-:"Of course."

Walsh-:"How's your little chat buddy tonight? You tell him yet that you're taken? hahahaha!"

Me-:"Actually, the site was down for like three hours, haven't talked to anyone tonight. Why?"

Walsh-:"Just asking. Pay attention to your man's bandages."

Me-:"He's not...If I just agree with you will you give it up? What bandages?"

Walsh-:"On his hands. His bandages. No. You need to admit it that Mad Hatter is Mr. Scratchy."

Me-:"Fine! You win."

Then there was silence for like five minutes, with him not having a response because he just was not expecting me to give up. This is me tapping out on the topic.

Walsh-:"Hahahahahahah! You admit it then? In writing?"

Me-:"Fine. In writing. You have made me a believer."

I still need some real proof. Doesn't help the crush is still heavy hitting, was hoping the crush would be worked out of my system by now. Since the first draft of the novel is done. 

I walked into that one

Got a text from Walsh, saying he was trying to win another bet. "The girls were watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And were talking about the characters. What were the names of the three nerds that Buffy fights? The girls said Adam, Andrew and Warren, but I seem to remember a Tucker. Who's right?"

Me-:"No, Adam was the war machine monster the army made. Different season. The Trio were Warren, Andrew and Johnathan."

Walsh-:"Right, JOHNATHAN. How stupid of me to forget."

It sunk in after I sent it. I got sucker punched again.  I'm starting to feel like when we were kids, just waiting for someone to slop pudding in my hair. 

Me-:"How long are you going to keep this up?"

Walsh-:"Till it's not funny anymore. And it's got years of funny left in it."

posting a post-it

Dear Mr. Scratchy... how's your night going?
Mine's been quiet. Scratching the last few hours, but you already know that.

I imagine you checking in to this tonight, maybe sitting in an airport or something, lounging in a bad chair, iPod on avoiding everyone. That, or else you're just getting back from a late dinner after work maybe. I want to ask you why all the rum is gone? First thing that popped into my head as I was typing this.

I imagine you dressed in a pair of jeans and a grey long sleeved shirt. Maybe a hoodie as well. Okay Herman, I hope all is well.
One of these days hon, I'll say the right thing, at just the right moment and there will be giddiness and happy coffees.

Tonight thou, I hope I brought a smile to your lips.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Zombie, Bites, Grave

I got a text from Walsh that was strange. "Buddy and I were talking about wrestlers and need to ask you, why does Jimmy Jacobs call himself the Zombie Princess?"

I was stumped on this one, no clue.  Which I texted back saying. Told him what he tells me all the time, google it.

Walsh-:"Did, can't figure it out."

Me-:"There's got to be a reason for it."

Walsh-:"You're suppose to know this stuff."

Me-:"Bite me."

Walsh-:"Buddy wants to know who you think will be the next big thing. Showed him your wrestling stuff."

Well, if you showed him my wrestling stuff, then you already know the answer to that.

Me-:"Rebel without a Cause."

Walsh-:"Besides him. Who in the rookie show?"

Why do I feel like this is a test?


Walsh-:"Buddy is laughing."

Me-:"Tell your buddy his got his head up his arse. Is this the buddy you had the bet with?" 


I thought about it for a few minutes before answering him.

Me-:"Tell your buddy that I'm firmly backing Rebel without a Cause to get a big push in the coming months. And that he should be looking to see GraveDigger get a massive jump to the Friday night show by end of summer."

Walsh-:"He wants to know if you want to bet on it?"

Me-:"No. I don't need to."

I barely got the text sent when the phone rang. It was Walsh's number. "What?"

Buddy-:"So you like GraveDigger?"

Me-:"Yeah, he's the one to be looking at.Why?" 

Buddy-:"Been told I look like him, just no tattoos."

Me-:"Uh huh. Can I talk to my cousin now?"


Me-:"Is this the co-worker you were wanting me to meet the other day?"

There was silence for a few seconds. "Yeah. His name is Duncan."

Me-:"And does he really look like GraveDigger from the rookie show or is he just saying that?"

Walsh-:"Little. He's got that same hair do."

Me-:"So that the real reason you called? Or did you really want to know why Jacobs calls himself that?"

More silence. "There's no right answer here is there?"

Me-:"I'm hanging up now."

Easy peasy

"Thought you were going to stop talking to the crazy guy?" Cheryl said.  I had told her about a chat thread that Male Friend #2 had been part of.

Me-:"It was a random thread. Anyone could reply."

Cheryl-:"But he's taken over it. Did he just ask you to move there?"

I re-read the chat thread and there could be some argument that he was suggesting I leave Canada and move to his city.  As a joke mostly. I tried changing the topic, which didn't really work.

Me-:"How's things with your Dominic?"

Cheryl-:"Haven't heard anything else from him. I guess it wasn't meant you know. But he was in a relationship, so I can't expect much right now."

Me-:"You say that like you know something. Did he say if the relationship was solid?"

Cheryl-:"He didn't come out and say it was bad, just seemed like he was holding back from something. I'm not waiting around, if he wants me, he has my number. Which brings me to ask, how's the man hunt going?"

Me-:"You have such a way with words. Not. There is no hunting here."

Cheryl-:"You're heading for a self induced prophecy. You're telling yourself there is no one for you, and you're creating it by not even trying. Get off your ass and start dating again. Sweetie, I know you are waiting for Mr. Right, but you need to find a Mr. Right Now! in the meantime."

Me-:"Easy for you to say."

Cheryl-:"Yep! Easy peasy."

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Post-it dinner time

The words the end  can sometimes be a beautiful thing. Such as in this case.  The first draft of the new novel is done!
I would do a happy dance if it wasn't for the bad knee.

Mr. Scratchy, Herman, you can tell Mad Hatter that the first draft is complete. Unless he's reading this right now over your shoulder, in which case...hey how you doing?
Then there is the chance that Walsh is right and you are Mad Hatter, in which er... hi! 

This is me in a good mood. Goofy good mood. Hopefully, I'll have better luck with this one then I did with the last one few years ago. The one that had been inspired by The Other Guy and The Celebrity.
That one, well Mr. Scratchy, you've been reading me for a few years so you know the issues and heartache that manuscript gave me. 

I figure, another two drafts should do it.

I have this fear, that none of my novels will see the printing press till after I'm in the ground cold.
I'm really hoping that this one, this has the magick touch.

Anyways, Herman, I imagine you checking in right now, maybe getting ready for a show; killing time. Make sure your laces are done up.  Yeah, I don't know, like I said, goofy mood. 
I imagine you smiling shaking your head at me, thinking that I'm such a nerd.  Admit it Herman, you love it!  


"Have you thought that you're not the only one seeing the names?"  This came from Cheryl as we chatted a bit this morning.   "If you're seeing the name Johnathan everywhere, that would mean that there is a Johnathan out there seeing a variation of your name all the time."

Me-:"So that means there is some poor unfortunate soul out there thinking he's loosing his mind? Groovy. Men don't notice crap like that the way we do! If there is some poor dude out there named Johnathan who's suddenly seeing the same name popping up like weeds he's just going to think it's suddenly popular again. He's not going to get all mystical about it."

Cheryl-:"Unless he's Wiccan too." 

Me-:"Can't swallow that, sorry."

This of course is all that's been on my mind for the last hour.  They say - this would be more omens and superstitions- that when you see patterns like this more often, the closer you are to the answer. So, given the amount I've been seeing the name in the last few months, does this mean I'm getting closer to the guy coming into my life? 

Friday, May 24, 2013


Been one of those eerie silent nights.  Usually, the social site is jammed with chat threads for wrestling on Mondays and Fridays, but tonight, dead silence. Either everyone is out on dates, or they got taken by aliens or something?
The only thing happening in the last hour is that the right side of my body has been scratched to shreds again, Mr. Scratchy.   But, I look at that like a good thing.

Well, I'm weird but you full on know that.

Well Herman, just a short post-it right now, just to say hey.


I imagine you checking in to this tonight, maybe bloodshot eyed from too many late nights and early mornings lately, and wondering maybe if you should check out the new Star Trek if you haven't already?  I loved it!   Even though they named the villain John for half the movie till you find out who he really is...but yeah.

Oh yeah, cosmic joke keeps rolling, - no pun intended given I'm talking Star Trek right now-

Okay Herman, my little twist of barbed wire, smile; to resist me is futile.

All I hear is ugly

My mother called few minutes ago, commenting on the fact it was middle of the day and I hadn't talked to her.  I've gotten into the habit of calling her in the morning to see if she's okay on days I'm actually at home.

Mom-:"What were you up to?"

Me-:"I was writing."

Mom-:"Oh, how is the novel coming then?"

Me-:"Nearly there. All the characters have been introduced, all the conflicts in place, and starting to resolve a few of them. The main elements are ready to be tied up, and then it will be peachy."

Mom-:"Then what are you going to do with it?"

Me-:"Then I give it some breathing time and work on draft two. Start fleshing it out, change stuff, maybe combine characters, change their names if need be that sort of thing. Why?"

Mom-:"That it then?"

Me-:"Then I get the guy out of my head. Start to purge the crush, move on to someone else. Start looking for an editor again."

Mom-:"No one will want to read it, I don't know why you continue to waste your time? No one cares." she made a cackling sound  "Who's this about then?"

I sat there for a moment telling myself to ignore her.   "Mad Hatter is the physical baseline for the lead character.Why?"

Mom-:"Oh him."  She said the word 'him' like she was spitting out a bad taste.  "You always pick the ugly weird ones." 

Well, that's a first, I've never heard anyone call Mad Hatter ugly. Everyone is usually drooling over him, practically swooning. 

Me-:"Can I get back to it or did you need something?"

Mom-:"Just looked at the time and realized I hadn't heard from you."

I ended the conversation and made a cup of coffee. Sitting here now, completely taken out of the train of thought I had with the novel, sort of pissed off about the whole conversation. Just once it would be nice to have my family be supportive of me. Just once.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

May 23rd 2013

I do believe it's The Celebrity's birthday today. So this is just a little note to say Happy Birthday.

I hope The Celebrity still reads every so often. And if he misses this note, well I'm sure someone in the industry will pass it on to him.

Happy Birthday

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Hot for Katratzi

"The guy sounds a bit crazy." Cheryl commented after reading one of the chat threads I had been in with Male Friend #2. "Like crazy crazy. Not like you're kind of crazy."

Me-:"Thanks. I think?"

Cheryl-:"I didn't mean that you're insane or anything, just open."

Me-:"Not making me feel better. But yeah, I know what you mean. The guy has issues. What is it about me that I keep attracting nutballs? Maybe you shouldn't answer that, I might not want to know."

Cheryl-:"You're open. Empathic.."

Me-:"Pathetic did you say? I know."

Cheryl-:"Empathic. Sensitive to non-physical. Most Wiccans are. This dude just seems like he's off his rocker. He keeps mentioning meds, what's he on do you know?"

Me-:"Everything from what I can tell. He says he's got depression, ADD, anxiety, sleep disorders, eating disorders, disorders on top of disorders. That's it, it's settled, I need to stop talking to crazy people."

Cheryl-:"Sounds like a plan. Hard to do in your line of work."

Me-:"My line of work? I didn't know I worked?"

Cheryl-:"Didn't you say you were a tarot reader?"

Me-:"That didn't pan out. No I'm a writer. I used to write book reviews for other writers. Been trying to get my own writing career off the ground but it's just not."

Cheryl-:"Oh, what do you write?"

Me-:"Romance. Bad ones it seems cause I can't seem to get an agent or anything. I write romance novels, stories. Fiction. Spend a lot of time living in my own head."

Cheryl-:"Sounds like this guy here does too."

Me-:"Yeah but I know the difference between what's real and pretend. I just choose to ignore it and live in denial. Should try it some time, it's a safe warm place there, full of hot men. Though even in happy denial land, I still haven't been able to get the guy."

Cheryl-:"This guy seems to be interested. He's sure talking to you a lot, seems like he wants you."

Me-:"Yeah but I don't want him. Besides, sort of avoiding guys named John if I can at the moment."

Cheryl-:"Still say you're meant to be with a Johnathan."

Me-:"Seems to be a conspiracy on that. You know, still cosmic joke aside, still my favourite name for a man."

Cheryl-:"That right there should tell you something. Have you always liked the name? Are there any men in your family named Johnathan?"

Me-:"None. Ironically. We have Thomas, Joseph, Tobi, Henry, Walsh, Patrick, Andrew, Caleb, Fredrick, Eric, Raymond, Mathew.  But no, not a single Johnathan that I'm aware of."


Me-:"Tobi. We have like three Tobi,  but yeah to answer your first question, yes I've always liked the name Johnathan."

Cheryl-:"There. That really tells you something."

Me-:"This is borderline absurd. Get off the Johnathan bandwagon. No more please."

Cheryl-:"How traditional is your family?"

Me-:"On a scale of 1-10, a 12."

Cheryl-:"So you're like the black sheep?"

Me-:"Grey more like it. I'm the grey sheep. I like to think of myself as traditional, just not always conventional.  Why?"

Cheryl-:"The names you just listed off, Thomas, Patrick, Joseph, Henry. All very traditional bible-ish names. And the fact you would prefer the name Johnathan over something like, well I don't know; says a ton about you too."

Me-:"Yeah, I'm so screwed."


Why can't you never find a naked man when you need one?

Writing. Trying to describe a character, getting distracted by the shape of the character's legs. Trying to figure out how hairy he should be? You know, weird basic character traits.  Commented on the social site about the naked man, thinking I'd get some sort of dirty jokes, or get a discussion started. But no. Everyone I chat with on there are night owls, and all live in places that are hours later then me. Not one of them has said anything other then my comment is funny.

Of course it's funny, I'm a funny silly woman.

But at the moment, it doesn't help my novel any.

Male Friend #2 (yeah still weirded out by him being a John)  is talking to me about flavoured tea.  I have no idea why?  He's got an obsession with flavoured tea. Everyone has their strangeness.

I just want to get the scene written so I can go to sleep. I am one of those who can not leave a scene midway. Which is why sometimes I can spend hours writing and maybe only end up with six or seven sentences, and other times have a full three pages in under twenty minutes.

Tea and men's legs...what a way to waste a night.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Crackers don't matter Johnanthan

There is an omen that when two people are meant to be together they can not avoid each other. I've mentioned it before a few times, even admitted there hadn't been anyone in my path that fit that statement. Then this whole thing with Mad Hatter started to happen. From my cousin declaring that Mad Hatter is Mr. Scratchy. And of course the Johnathan situation that has sprung up like weeds.  It's become too much for me. It's not cute anymore, it's not funny anymore, it's gone beyond even being useful as a gimmick. It's just down right freaking me out.
Walsh had gone to the fast food place down the street from mom's and texted me. I decided what the hell, I'd hang out with him for a bit. He'd been talking about this one co-worker he wanted to introduce me to.  I didn't get to meet the co-worker, he was gone by the time it took me to get there. Walsh was in the parking lot getting ready to leave as well.

Walsh-:"Okay, you look like you're about to pass out. The walk wasn't that much for you."

Me-:"I'm fine. My knee is stiff but I'm fine."  I told him what was bothering me. That there were too many patterns pointing to Mr. Scratchy being you know who.

He shrugged "Don't worry about it. Just let it unfold."

Me-:"Too late for that. It's out there. Okay. I've put it in writing on the blog, so it's out there." I was walking in circles in the parking lot while my cousin just stood there smoking a cigarette.

Walsh-:"I just don't get it? I don't understand why you are so..." he stuck his tongue out waving his hands around like a moron. "Freaked out over this."

Me-:"Cause I am. I'm a girl and I freak out easy? I don't know. Seriously, dude, I really don't even know anymore." My knee hurt and I had to stand still. "He's perfect. How about that? If even a slice of his real personality is anything like his old character, he's f***ing perfect! Like something I'd written myself. And you know full well what happened the last time I met a man who seemed like he'd walked right out of one of my stories. A decade later and I'm still bruised on that one."  I watched three crows fly over head. Really? (when you see three crows in flight it means you're going to be married soon)  I pointed to the sky and mumbled to myself for them not to tease me, don't think Walsh heard me.

Walsh-:"You of all people deserve some perfect."

Me-:"Then what happens? Do I die? Cause, done that."  (surgery after the car accident they had to use the paddles on me, it was just over a minute but yeah I was dead)

Walsh-:"Oh my god!" he started to laugh at me. "That's what this is about? All this time?" he pointed his cigarette at me, blowing smoke in my face.

Me-:"I don't even know myself anymore. Maybe, no, yes." I started to walk in circles again needing to let off steam. "He just keeps popping up everywhere. Remember the indie wrestler I was friends with few years ago?" he looked at the sky for a few seconds then nodded. "Yeah, well, he'd known him and brought him up in conversations more then a few times. Said he'd worked with him told me I would so totally love this guy, offered once to introduce me to him. I didn't take him seriously cause I was so wrapped up in the idea of The Celebrity and besides, I thought he was just trying to make himself sound more important then he was."

Walsh-:"The indie guy?"

Me-:"Right. Anyways, not too long later, I was looking for something about The Other Guy, yes I actually googled something, anyways, was looking for something on The Other Guy when this photo came up of Mad Hatter. Someone had tagged him as The Other Guy. And at first glance they did sort of look alike. That was the first time I'd seen a photo of him and was like yeah he's hot."  Walsh was laughing at me. I was waving my hands at him ready to have a tantrum cause I wanted to get out what I had to say and I was feeling like I was going to cry. "Then there was that flyer in the paper for the one  indie wrestling company. Only I found out like the day after and it was too late."

Walsh pointed at me "Oh?" He made a face like he was trying to remember then shrugged laughing some more. "Okay, and?"

Me-:"Nothing. For like two years, nothing. Totally forgot about him. Then one day his name popped up on a random music video. Someone had left a comment just saying his name."

Walsh-:"Hold up, and you're telling me, being the type of person you are, you did not google the guy? Like even I can see that's a bunch of signs."

Me-:"I did not even think about him. My mind was so far up my arse I didn't even consider it. My mode was still all about The Celebrity at that point. And then that whole blast of information last night from that chick on the social site about how she's buddy's with him on Facebook..."

Walsh-:"But now you're seeing it aren't you?" he lit another cigarette.

Me-:"No I'm loosing my mind is what I'm doing. I'm starting to feel like a damned episode of Farscape or something. That one where they all go nutballs over the crackers. Hang on it gets weirder."  he looked at me over the edge of his lighter. "Did you see my comments like a month or so ago, about the last episode of SATC? The identity of Mr. Big ending up being just plain old Jon?"  He raised an eyebrow at me.

Walsh-:"I tend to gloss over anything with SATC sorry." he took a long drag on his cigarette blowing smoke into my direction again as I started pacing back and forth still with way too much extra nerves.

Me-:"This whole Johnathan stuff. It was cute in the beginning even I have to admit it was slightly cool. But, dude, they're everywhere. Every time I turn around lately, there is some reference to the name Johnathan. Can't enjoy an episode of Farscape anymore cause of the lead character being named John, the dude on the social site that you didn't care for I found out is a John, every time I turn on the radio there's a Johnny Cash song or a Johnny Mathis song, or the song will have John in the lyrics. I was watching a horror movie few days ago and there were two characters with the name John, one was a John and the other a Johnny. Dude! This is unreal. There are two new guys working at the grocery named Jon. When I saw their name tags I nearly screamed. I was watching Hotel Transylvania, and ten minutes into it there is a character called Johnny Stein who is a mix of the Johnathan Harker character and Frankenstein. What the f**k? Now cartoons are mocking me!"

Then he started to laugh. "Oh! Yeah, you're so screwed." He was doubled over laughing at me. "You need to calm down you're going to have a panic attack."

Me-:"I'm way beyond a panic attack. I'm loosing my damned mind."

Walsh-:"You have enough sense to know you're panicking so you're not loosing your mind. You're acting like a shithead but your not loosing your mind. Chill out a bit, relax breathe and just...relax."

Me-:"And do what?" 

He shrugged, and got into his truck heading back to work. "Believe in the Mad Hatter." he was smiling like a moron. 

Coffee, crushes and the J word

I couldn't sleep, got up and was trying to work some on the novel.  Got about three sentences done when I noticed a message pop up from Cheryl.  I haven't had a chance to chat with her in a few weeks.  She was telling me about how she went out with some of her friends on the weekend, and met this guy at a Yoga retreat.

This I wanted to hear about, so I messaged her back.  Dominic, 6'1, green eyes, caramel skin, dark hair. 

Me-:"That's it? That's all you're giving me on this?"

Cheryl-:"We didn't really talk much."


Cheryl-:"No, I mean, we didn't really talk much at the retreat, anyone. Part of it was held in silence."

Okay and this is why I would never be able to do one of those types of things, I like talking, need to talk even when I'm just talking to the wall working on a piece of the novel.

Me-:"So...what happened?"

Cheryl-:"I don't remember. How crazy is that? And it wasn't like we were drinking or getting high or anything, I just don't remember much. This guy had me nervous. I haven't been nervous since I was in high school."

And another one bites the dust.

Me-:"So, you going to see him again?"

Cheryl-:"He's in a relationship so I don't know what's going to happen? I just know, when we met, all I could think was that I had seen him before. We ate together every meal.  Am I sounding corny right now?"

Me-:"Trust me hon, nothing you could ever say would sound corny to me."

We chatted for a few minutes while she got ready for work, it was clear she was in deep crush mode on this guy.  I miss that rush. That feeling when you look into a man's eyes and just feel that intensity and find yourself hanging off his every word, and he makes you feel like you're the only one in the room.

Cheryl-:"What about you? Any progress?"

Way to crash my crushing on the idea of a fresh crush.


Cheryl-:"What about the kid from the site? Or that other one you were talking to? What was his name? The surfer."

Me-:"Surfer? When was there a surfer?"  my mind was blank on this one. Cheryl swore up and down I told her about a surfer that I had met one night on a chat thread. I had to literally go to the social site and run down the list of guys on my friend's list to try to figure out whom she was meaning. Then I saw who she was meaning, Male Friend #2.  Right, he lives in California.

I wish I hadn't done that. I noticed he updated his profile. He no longer was using his twitter handle for his profile name, he was using his real name.  John.  This was who my cousin Walsh had told me yesterday he didn't trust.  The same guy who the teenage chick I sometimes used to talk to on the site was madly in heat for, the one she stopped talking to me over when she saw I had accepted his friend's request.

The cosmic joke continues. I told Cheryl about the whole thing with guys named Johnathan, and she loved it. First thing out of her mouth was that I'm meant to be with a guy named Johnathan.
Dude seriously?  Mr. Scratchy...please be a Patrick.

post-it after midnight

Herman, earlier in the night, I said finding out who you were right now wasn't relevant. Well, that's a lie. You know it's beyond relevant, I was just feeling...don't even know.
Confused, ecstatic, scared, depressed, relieved you name it, I was feeling it few hours ago.  Now Mr. Scratchy, I guess I'm feeling desperate.

You know my reasons for not believing you could be Mad Hatter. Good reasons, bad reasons, either way, my reasons.  Would I like you to be him, um yeah.
I'd also like you to be The Celebrity, the DoubleStarr, Dimmer, Rebel without a Cause, and a few others.

But you're just one guy. Hiding in the shadows. My little twist of barbed wire.  I've been saying for god knows how long, that the ball is in your court, and I really did believe that.  Maybe it still is? I've begged, I've demanded, I've whined, I've been cute about it.  Nothing. It's gotten me nothing.
I'm right back where I started, with hints and clues.  Only this time, things are piling up and making less sense to me.
I don't know why you have stayed in the basement?  There are more then enough theories on why, but only you know the truth.

It's been a long night. Lots to think about. Which of course is one of my problems. I think about everything too much.  That's the writer in me, I can see every side of the box inside and out, and tend to wonder why it's painted white and not blue or why it's held together with tape and not glue?
I didn't mean for that to rhyme  honest.

I'm at a loss as what to do?  All I know, is that I have a feeling things are close I write this I vaguely remember someone on the show tonight saying Alice in Wonderland, only I don't remember who or during what match.  This is me, losing it now.

Okay Mr. Scratchy,  I imagine you checking in to this after work, most likely sore from the night. I imagine you drinking a few glasses of bourbon tonight because tea just won't cut it now. Your pajama bottoms on, those stripped ones I think you wear, no shirt cause you spilled stuff on it the other day and haven't done laundry.
I imagine you are listening to the Doors, because like millions of people world wide, you found out that one of the main members died yesterday and are a bit sad.

I think too, that you are waiting for me to figure it out.  Okay Herman, it's all about the doors of perception, which ironically, fits with everything including Alice in Wonderland theme.  So on that, tonight I will say I hope I made you smile some, even if you are shaking your head at me eyes closed, saying "that's my girl." And quote "When you're Strange" by the Doors. 

Midnight hour

"Read your posts. Will you believe me now when I say the Mad Hatter is your Mr. Scratchy?"  Walsh texted about a half hour ago.

Me-:"Well, all that proves is that he reads me. Still does not prove he's Mr. Scratchy."   Though it does make me feel better ironically.

Walsh-:"Why is it you will believe in ghosts but you won't believe that Mad Hatter could like you for more then your writing?"

Me-:"There is real proof of ghosts, people have heard ghosts, felt them, seen them, talked to them. Mad Hatter has never talked to me, therefore, no real proof."  

Walsh-:"You're scared. You're not the beast, he's not beauty and this is not a fairy tale. He's not that great just some guy."

Me-:"Yes, yes I am, yes he is, and yes it totally should be."

Walsh-:"Well, if it's totally a fairy tale, then you get the guy in the end. Isn't that how fairy tales work? The beast gets beauty."

I had no answer to that one, he sort of caught me.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Tidbits man continued

I was chatting with someone on the social site, who is on Mad Hatter's friend's list on Facebook, and told me that she chats with him all the time.  And that he posts about storylines before they happen. if that's true, and someone in Company #1 has been reading me for all this time, and stuff I've blogged about has become storylines... have I just gotten some proof as to one of the wrestlers who reads me besides The Celebrity and The Other Guy?

Is Walsh semi-right?  I say semi-right and not totally right because...well...dude!  Is the Mad Hatter closer to this then I was believing? 

Whether he's right and Mad Hatter is Mr. Scratchy or not right now is not relevant.
Finding out who my readers are, is. Finding out who thinks my work is worthy, is relevant to me.

Mad Hatter, seriously, if this chick isn't just blowing smoke and is telling the truth, dude talk to me. 

Tidbits man

Got a text from Walsh. "Did you not get your post up in time?"

Me-:"Plenty of time."

Walsh-:"Mad Hatter didn't do it."

Me-:"I didn't think he would bite."

My nose was itching; which means secret admirer,  distracting me, and my ear started to burn which means someone talking about me. Then my right side started to itch. Okay, so is Mr. Scratchy telling friends about me?  Okay, never had all three happen at once.

Walsh-:"You're boys lost me my bet."

Me-:"Not my fault. You're ego got you into trouble."   and put my reputation into the gutter.  I was scratching madly trying to reply to Walsh's texts and pay attention to the match at the same time. Plus, my chat threads on the social site were wild with comments. 

Dude, I'm terrible at focusing on more then one thing at a time.

P.S. Mad Hatter

After all that, I was thinking, scars and strips.  I don't know if you'll see this or care, and I know how Americans are about their flag, even if it is printed on a wrestling belt.  But, if you say something along the lines of how you three are leaving your mark on the wrestling company by clawing and biting your way to the top, and referring to the belt you have as scars and strips because of the brutal nature of the ppv you got it at... just would play better.    Sounds cool to me...

Dirty Laundry 29

"You said it and they won it."  Walsh had stopped by mom's.  His sister had left a book at mom's which needed to be returned to the school library.  I spend as much time here lately as I do at my own apartment.  He had picked Mavis up after school with his own kids, and she informed him if they didn't take the book back in the morning she'd get detention.

Me-:"You doubted my boys? Shame on you."  I was giddy.

Walsh-:"You need to stop doubting yourself."  he poked my cheek. Now I see where Mavis got the bad habit. "Speaking of your love life..." he blushed. "I was reading something online last night."

Me-:"My stuff." I filled up the kettle for tea. Waiting for Walsh to continue. He just stood there for a minute blushing. "Seriously, what's wrong? Is it going to make me upset?"

Walsh-:"Yes and no. I sort of checked out that one chat buddy of yours."  he took a step back and positioned himself so that he was blocking the kitchen door.

Me-:"And that would be which one now? I talk to a few people online."

Walsh-:"The one you've mentioned the other night."   I think he was referring to Male Friend #2 but I wasn't totally sure. "I don't like him. You can do better."

Me-:"Um you have me at a disadvantage, given I have no idea what you're going on about?"  the kettle boiled and I started to pour the water, ended up splashing it everywhere. He just stood there didn't help me clean it up.

Walsh-:"I can't put my finger on it, but I don't trust him. I wanted to see what the fuss was about after I read your post saying you got into that fight with the dude over the Pack, so I went to the social site, looked up the topic of the ppv and found your thread."


Walsh-:"Yep. I just don't like him."

Me-:"Walsh, what's really going on here? You've never been this..." I had a handful of soggy paper towel in one hand and the sugar bowl in the other, and not thinking, started to gesture with my hands. Sugar slopped everywhere and the paper towel fell to pieces falling on my foot and the floor.  Now I had a sticky and wet mess. It's just been one of those clumsy days.

Walsh-:"I've never been what?"

Me-:"Nothing. Continue, I'm just having a, just continue."  I got the broom and tried to sweep it all up.

Walsh-:"Your chat buddy on that site, just be careful. And do me a big favour. Tell him you're dating a wrestler."  he was blushing to the point I thought he's head was going to explode he was so red.

Me-:"What the f**k did you do?"  I put the broom down. Actually I lost my grip on it and it went flying nearly hitting him in the stomach.

Walsh-:"Nothing." but he was still blushing so I know he did something. It went back and forth for a few long seconds, me asking what he did and him just saying he hadn't done anything, then he started to smile again, still blushing a little. I finished making the tea and put the broom away. "To change the subject. Tonight's show, what do you have in mind?"

Me-:"Uh, to watch it? Going to stay here again tonight and actually watch the show live. Why?"

Walsh-:"No you know that's not what I meant. What do you plan to blog about before the show tonight?"

Me-:"Where is this going? And don't say nowhere cause I don't believe you." I think I blushed a bit when I realized what I had said.

Walsh-:"You will believe after tonight. Trust me on this. You just have to write something specific for Mad Hatter."

I looked at my cousin for a second trying to figure out what the hell he was up to but all he did was make me laugh.  "How about no."

Walsh-:"Please. Please write something for Mad Hatter before the live show tonight. You still have time, you have a few hours still."

Me-:"You're freaking me out. Tell me why and I'll think about it."

Walsh-:"Sort of told a buddy about you and the wrestling blog. I really really need you to not make me loose a bet I made with him. Please write something anything."

Me-:"Interesting. Begging I like that. Fine." I took a big gulp of my tea and thought about it for a minute. "Okay, if he checks in before the live show, and sees it, then... huh cause it worked oh so well there before. Let's see."  I ended up finishing my tea and making a second cup while I thought and had Walsh standing there in my mom's kitchen biting his lip. I started to laugh cause this was literally the same thing we were doing last time too, drinking tea in mom's kitchen when he promised last time he'd shut up if he was wrong.  "No yeah I got nothing."  I was still laughing when his phone went off few minutes later. His wife was wondering where the hell he'd gotten to.  "Catch phrase. Everyone needs a catch phrase, let's see if he'll bite if I suggest a catch phrase. He might not you know. But..." I started to open the cupboards and looked at the cans of stuff hoping for inspiration, and dinner. "Werewolves, vampires, full on exorcist twist." I was sort of mumbling to myself running through things that were sort of connected. Nothing was coming to me, it's like the writer's equivalent of not being able to get it up. Sucks. "Fangs for the memories."  I shrugged. "Not the most original, but if he bites we'll know. Then you can win your stupid bet."  He nodded shaking his hand at me letting me know he thought it was a lame idea. "Well bite me. That's my suggestion. If Mad Hatter sees this in time before tonight and decides to go with the quote Fangs for the Memories,  then you win, and yeah. You realize there is nothing in this for me this time right?"

Walsh-:"You will believe he's the guy. I gotta go. Talk to you later."


I was left still needing to type it up before the show. Only my reputation on the line here.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Post-it post show

Saw the ppv. Chatted on the social site with a few people. Got very pissed off by some random person that no one in the thread knew.  Just a random fan who was not happy about the Pack winning. And he targeted me.   Seriously?  Of all the people, I got singled out to be insulted and screamed at. My reaction, told him to get his head out of his arse. Said that just because they have come in and freshened up really stale storylines that have been collecting mold for the last six plus years, was no reason to scream at me.

I found out from a Male Friend #2 that this guy targeted me for the single fact I am a girl and figured I didn't know anything about wrestling. 

Now that my dear is ironic. Dimmer that was for you.

Somewhere around the end of the ppv, after I had written my wrestling stuff, my ear started to burn. Someone was talking about me.  Actually, they still are.  My ear has been burning for like an hour, it's actually hot to the touch and bright red, like a rose.  Not sure if that is good or bad?

Mr. Scratchy, that you and your best buddies maybe?  I hope, it's all good baby.   I'm in an excellent mood even with that moron who picked the fight with me in the chat thread.  My boys won!  My team are holding gold.  

Okay Herman, I imagine you checking in tonight, most likely in a wicked mood yourself cause of the show tonight. Maybe already having had about five drinks by this point. Smiling at my words.  
My little twist of barbed wire and shadows. 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Rainy day

Got a text from Walsh.  "You getting the ppv?"

Me-:"Yes. Are you?"

Walsh-:"Thinking about it. What you think about your Pack?"

Me-:"Good thing the belts are all gold cause werewolves can't hold silver."   

Walsh-:"Hahahaha! So you're done pouting?"

Me-:"You started it."   I got up to make coffee. When I came back into the room, there were a few texts waiting.

Walsh-:"Tell your little chat buddy you're taken. Tell him your man is a big wrestling superstar. Haha! I still believe! You haven't broken any mirrors yet, so believe Mad Hatter is possible."

He means well, he does.

Me-:"I will believe, when Frankenstein is brought up."

Walsh-:"Why Frankenstein?"

Me-:"Herman Munster... a Frankenstein monster. I call Mr. Scratchy Herman. Get it now?"

Walsh-:"Oh my god. Okay yeah get it."

Okay Herman, my little twist of barbed wire,  stop snarling.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Friday night blahs

Was chatting on the social site with a few people during tonight's wrestling. All comparing notes on what we think will be the outcomes this weekend on the ppvs, when I got elbowed out of every conversation by what can only be classified as a jealous girlfriend. 
Male friend #1 on there was chatting away with me for the first hour of the show, and suddenly, this chick who's on his friend's list but not mine, started to butt into ever single thing I was saying. 
It's funny in a way, but annoying in another.  This is the first I've seen or heard of this chick, and Male friend #1 was sweet about it, every few minutes opening a new chat just to apologize, but after awhile, he just dropped out of the conversation. The last thing I saw pop up on our main chat was the girl flat out asking if he was going to invite her over. 

Talk about marking your territory, and god knows if I had ever had the guts to mark my territory in the past maybe I wouldn't have gotten demolished so often by relationships?

Same time, she didn't need to butt in while he and I were talking about the ppv.  She could see it was straight up wrestling talk.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Beauty and the Beast

"Are you saying you think it's Dimmer?"  Walsh asked as he stomped into the building.

Me-:"You here again? Haven't we killed this topic yet?"

Walsh pointed over his shoulder towards the left of the building saying he just came from his mom's, and didn't feel like going home just yet. Wife's friends were over again. One of them is getting married in a few months, and a lot of these girl's nights have been planning the wedding.  No wonder he keeps bailing, I would too. (I want to be married, didn't say I wanted the crap fluffy wedding, a drive thru chapel with an Elvis impersonator is fine by me...if it ever happens)

Walsh-:"You didn't answer my question."

Me-:"Wasn't planning on it if I could help it. A lot of down time that you could catch up on your reading?"

He lit a cigarette and nodded smiling. "Are you going to answer my question?"

Me-:"For about ten seconds I thought Dimmer might be a contender, but I snapped out of it. He was mocking me."

Walsh-:"What promo?"     I pulled up the website and showed him the promo I was talking about. There were just a few little gimmicks that he had done that were too much like things I've been saying.  "Huh...isn't that ironic?" he laughed choking on his cigarette.

Me-:"You really need to quit those."

Walsh-:"I would say this is proof that it's Dimmer, but it's not cause it's the Mad Hatter." he grinned like he'd just won the lottery or something. "Admit it. I don't know why you just don't admit it?"

Me-:"You know what, you give me one solid reason why you think it? Just one."   

Walsh-:"There's a ton of reasons. Okay, back November, you blogged about guys from the rookie show getting a break on the ppv, and two hours later the Pack is formed. Mad Hatter being the center of it."

Me-:"There are two other guys in the Pack, Rebel without a Cause and Werewolf King."

Walsh-:"I ain't done! You blogged about how the Pack was going to end after the January ppv, and two hours later they did a promo where they announced they were solid. The same time you said to remove Mad Hatter from them..."

Me-:"Right, before he dug his claws in and hooked me."

Walsh-:"...stop interrupting, still not finished here." he lit another cigarette. "...that's when Mad Hatter became the main guy am I right? Nod for yes."   I nodded while laughing at my cousin. "Okay, then you blogged about them running in to ruin that legend and they did, you blogged about them with the tag belts and that other one and they are doing that now, you blogged about shadows and Mad Hatter did that one promo in the shadows..."

Me-:"You sound like the one with the crush on the guy. Something you need to tell me?"   he swatted at me and I was too slow moving, he ended up hitting my bad knee. I thought he damaged it again, that really really hurt.   After a few minutes he continued.

Walsh-:"You blogged about his hair, and what has happened? His hair has become a noticeable mess constantly."

Me-:"Oh yeah, that's a sign of love really, bad hair. Uh huh." he glared at me.

Walsh-:"The hints are there. That vampire profile they did too, that was for you, you know that right?"

Me-:"I don't know about for me. That's a bit of a stretch. Inspired by, maybe does any of that prove that Mad Hatter is my Mr. Scratchy?"

Walsh-:"Mad Hatter is at the center of it all. Since you have been blogging about him like all the time, he's become the company star."

Me-:"Actually, all any of that proves is that I'm good for business. That the creative team needs me. Fresh eyes and all." 

Walsh-:"There, I've given you proof."  he was still grinning.

Me-:"But Mad Hatter never said the quote. I would believe it all if he had just quoted the Alice Cooper song,  Feed My Frankenstein. Or even mentioned Frankenstein or Alice Cooper.  But he didn't."

Walsh-:"He started to."    I sat up straight glaring at my cousin.

Me-:"Bullshit! When?"

Walsh-:"That episode were looking for it, you said if he said it. He started to say it and said something else instead."  he grabbed the computer checking the website to see if they still had the clip up.  "Right there. He ends up saying forced fed."

I looked at my cousin in silence for a few very long seconds. "That...that can't ...dude!"

Walsh-:"Now will you admit it's him? Just believe."  he started laughing.

Me-:"No. Can't. Just can't."

Walsh-:"Why not? You're just blocking yourself here by not believing it. Okay you give me one good reason why you refuse to see what's right in front of you?"

Me-:"Besides the fact he's famous? Besides the fact he's the hottest thing in the industry right now, and I mean talent wise. Besides the fact that like I said before that time, this has been going on for the last few years and if it's him why not contact me when he was in the indies before becoming famous? Besides all that. It's simple. And just forget the famous part for a second. Girls who look like me don't get boys who look like him. Shut up and just shh."  I was shaking my eyes closed. "It wouldn't matter if he was just some average normal guy working down the street at the gas station, guys that good looking, just don't end up with girls like me. Specially a cripple. Just goes against nature and don't try to say otherwise cause we both know it. Why do you think I write romance novels?  I write them so that girls like me actually get the happy ending fairy tale lovers, cause it just does not happen in reality. So you can believe he's the one all you want, but I just..." 

My cousin just sat there.  We're not huggers, we don't come from a family who  hug. He actually looked like he was going to hit me again to be honest. He got up from the sofa and was heading towards the door, this look on his face, his shoulders slumped. Then he stopped and put his hand on the wall sort of open palm and hit the wall a few times.

Walsh-:"You have got to get over yourself. This whole Beauty and the Beast syndrome is f***ed."  he left, tossing the butt of the cigarette as he did.

I sat here for a really long time, just debating if I should write about it or not.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

post-it May 15th

Okay Mr. Scratchy; my little twist of barbed wire, you must have something on your mind, as I've been scratching off and on for most of the day. And we're talking half hour at a time scratching.

I said the other day that I felt I was close to the answer of who you are. I saw a promo that I feel is either A) you telling me the only way you feel secure  or B) you're buddy mocking the situation.
My gut reaction was actually B.  Then I thought about it, and thought A for a bit. Then flipped back to B.   More and more I feel you're in Company #1. 

You've got my attention...

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Evening notes.

"Why do you think you are not married?" my aunt asked me bit ago, when she stopped by to lend me a book on animal symbols. 

Me-:"Okay, that's out of nowhere."

My aunt shrugged and said that Walsh had said something, but didn't tell me what my cousin said. She just stood there in the doorway leaning against the doorframe waiting for me to answer her.  My aunt, this is Walsh's step mom, is a life coach/reiki coach. Which I've mentioned before. She's one of those people who has a knack for making visualization training work wonders. In other words, if she spends a half hour focusing on something, she manages to manifest the results within about an hour.  Now that's what I call magaick.     I can't do that.

Aunt-:"Why do you think you are not married? It's a simple question."

At this point my natural reaction would be to answer in a sarcastic way with a dirty joke or something, like saying that all the men in this town are brainwashed into thinking that they all like twinkies, or that it's because I currently look like a large whale, but that kind of thing wouldn't go over with my Aunt.  She'd just lecture me for an hour on self esteem and how I have none.

Me-:"I haven't met anyone I think is worth it?"    yes, I made the mistake of not just saying that, but saying it like a question.  Which of course I realized was also the wrong thing to say to my Aunt after I had said it.

Aunt-:"Is that the real reason? Flip that question around and ask it again."

Me-:"No one's met me who thinks I'm worth it?"   

She shook her head at me her eyes closed and let out a deep breath.

Aunt-:"That's why you're not married. You're blocking yourself with your feelings of not being worthy enough. Walsh told me that you're afraid to let yourself believe you are good enough for some wrestler. You have to think of yourself as worthy enough, and remind yourself that they are just normal people with a high profile job. And when you get it through your thick skull that you are just as good as any other woman, you will unblock yourself and the perfect man will just show up."

Me-:"Um okay."

Aunt-:"Let me hear you say it."

Me-:"Um...I'm just as good as anyone else"

My Aunt nodded and gave me this look, as if I had just made a deal with her or something. She tilted her head and opened her eyes wide, eyebrows raised and nodded again.   "Good, I'll hold you to that."  she hugged me and left.

Yeah, and I'm suppose to be the one who makes zero sense?

Afternoon gratitude

Herman; as I said few weeks back, I've really strayed from the original point of these post-it notes.  They were started as a way to put into the universe, a message of gratitude for that which is coming into my life but has yet to show up.
When I had first started writing these few years ago, I had been seeing so much negativity from other women I was talking to and friends with at the time. They complained about how their boyfriends/husbands never listened to them, or how they never got what they wanted from them.  One friend complained how her husband bought her flowers for everything, and never got her jewelery. Another friend complained how her husband never remembered her birthday.

I pointed out to the first one that her husband thought enough of her to give her flowers for everything. And when I say everything, I mean anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, Mondays, Fridays, cause she took the cat to the vet, cause she spent three hours shoveling snow because he has a disability and can't. Always with a hand written note, or drawing.  I pointed out to the second friend, that he might not have the best memory for calendar dates, but he never needed to be told twice to pick up milk on the way from work, or to drop the kids off at a play date, or to put gas in the truck, in fact, he never needed to be told those things, he just always did them.
Both those guys were paying attention.  My friends just were so wrapped up in their own tunnel vision of what they expected that they missed the forest for the trees.

And of course, I pointed out to them that they were lucky enough to be married. To have found the right guys.

And Mr. Scratchy, you're wondering why the hell I'm bringing this up right now? Well, because I've let myself get tunnel vision with what I was expecting my life to look like by now.  Again, I come back to the song "The Right One Comes Along"  from the Nashville soundtrack, with the line "you think you know what you're looking for, till what you're looking for finds you."
And timing. Having patience and knowing that what is meant to be will be when it's meant to be. That leap of faith, believing in the idea of something as much as anything else.

I've been unable to figure you out, ironically, I feel I've gotten closer to solving the mystery. Always grateful of those barbed wire shadows.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Tidbit questions

I got another text from Walsh.  "Check that one promo out with Divine Mrs V."

I went to the website and flipped till I found what he was talking about. "Okay, what am I looking at?"

Walsh-:"Dimmer. Just watch Dimmer for a second."

Me-:"What am I paying attention for?"

Walsh-:"I thought he was a flaming hoop?"

I broke out laughing so hard I spilled my coffee all over the sofa. After I cleaned the coffee stain up, I texted Walsh back. 

Me-:"It's obvious the character he's playing is not. Yeah that look says it all. What made you think he was?"


I phoned him cause I really hate texting. "Me? How did I make you think he was a flaming hoop?"

Walsh-:"Your novel. You made him a gay guy in your novel."

Me-:"Yeah cause I have one female character and like ten male characters, had to make someone gay. Couldn't have all the males straight. I already have the one female character having an affair with like three guys. The next draft really needs to be paired down. Maybe combine a few characters or something."

Walsh-:"So you think he's not a flaming hoop?"

Me-:"I have no idea. Why don't you ask him? Ask Dimmer if he's a total Stanford or not?"  

Walsh-:"Why on earth would I do that? How would I do that?"

Me-:"I don't know. You're the one who brought the whole thing up to begin with. Don't ask me stupid questions then?"  I started to laugh so hard then I lost my breath for a minute.

Walsh-:"What? What's so funny?"

Me-:"Well, if he is a flaming hoop, and you totally know this is blog worthy, and sees the post it will most likely roll off him no big deal. But if he's straight and sees it, dude we might have just upset him. I like Dimmer. Either way, think he'd be the type you would want to invite for drinks. Seems like the kind that would keep everyone in stitches."

Walsh-:"Sorry I brought it up. Just, when I saw the promo I thought I'd mention it cause...anyways, wife is wondering who I'm talking to." I heard him tell her it was just me. "She is getting a bit upset cause she just got the youngest to bed. That's why I text and don't phone at night."

Me-:"Let me guess, she did not say to say hi."

We ended the conversation, but I was still laughing for a few minutes while I tried to write this.  Honestly, unless the dude is standing naked in front of me, it doesn't matter to me if he is or not.  That's not totally true, it does take some of the fun out of crushing on someone if you know they are not available. 

tidbits continued

Just got a text from Walsh asking if I was watching the show tonight.

Me-:"At home. No cable. Reading the recaps on the website and chatting in the social group. Catch replay tomorrow when I visit mom. Why?"

Walsh-:"Check the ppv page. Your man has a singles match for one of the titles you blogged about."

I did as I was told. I'm loving that match idea. Would have thought the third Pack member, the poster boy-werewolf king....oh my god, I haven't given him a nicname! (and nothing is coming to mind right now...ggrrr) would have gone for that title and Rebel without a Cause and Mad Hatter gone for the tag belts. But, still...ya he needs a nicname and that's going to eat at me till I think of one.

Werewolf King it is...

Texted Walsh back and told him I saw it.

Walsh-:"That match will be worth the whole price of the ppv."

Me-:"I agree, I second and third that totally."

Walsh-:"So you admit he is your man? lol haha"

Me-:"You suck. Big harry ape balls Walsh."

Tidbits May 13th 2013

I really wish they would post some new promos with Dimmer. I like the comedy stuff he does. Few of us were talking tonight on the social site, about some of the talent that gets shoved into the background when they should be allowed to have more air time, and Dimmer is one I'd like to see get more time on air.
Everyone has their personal favourites, the chat threads can sometimes get heated, but I seem to find myself defending guys that get forgotten.

Dimmer right now is on my "lets save him from the background" list. He's proven he's got the looks, the mic skills, the comedic timing and from the few matches I've seen him in...well he's the best jobber right now.  I'm sure if they give him a real match, he could prove he's better then I give him credit for.

Tonight, might be me ranting about semi-near crushes...or whatever you want to call this post tonight.

Mmmmhhh....a crush on Dimmer...would that be in my best interest right now?  Well, it would be if it gives me a bit of sanity in regards to Mad Hatter... all puns intended.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

I've put a spell on you

I hate myself for falling under his spell. Damn it! That just wasn't suppose to happen. So why did it? Why did I end up liking him, just the same as a countless number of others have?
Drooling at his feet like a puppy.  Yeah, I hate me right now.

And it's not helping any with the novel. You think it would, but the novel is stalled again. The boost I had last week from adding the new character, died cold. My crush on him has hit warp drive, but the first draft of my novel, which I thought I'd have finished by now, it's been a month and a half, I thought I'd have it finished and him out of my system. Clean without scars on my already broken heart.


Why does he have to be so damn likable? Talented, funny as hell, skilled on the mic, seriously gorgeous... dude this just isn't right.  I'm not suppose to like him cause I hate being a bandwagoner.

There is something terribly wrong with this picture. The crush I had on The Celebrity, that was the longest crush I've ever had on anyone. Famous or normal average guy.  Then this dude comes along and knocks me off my coffin. Evil werewolf.

He's like the Jim Morrison of the wrestling industry. A total Bacchus. I think that's it, that's my pull towards him. Like Dionysus in modern form.  And there in lays the appeal.

Christ, I think I'm doomed.  I need some normal average guy, some poor unfortunate soul to wander into my life and take my mind off this crush. Cause I only see this heading for a black hole for me.

While of course you know, he sits there laughing like the Mad Hatter he is, reading this over the shoulder of Mr. Scratchy, wondering how he got roped into  this blog in the first place?

Seriously, I'm not even sure myself. One day everything was perfectly normal, well weird but normal for me, with me focusing on the hot British wrestler who looks like Richard Armitage, and the one who looks like Vlad the Impaler on the rookie show, and some talk of the Rebel without a Cause,  you know, spreading the crushes around in a decent respectable blogging way, and then poof. One little facial expression by Mad Hatter and all hope is lost.

And this post is because I was listening to the song "I put a spell on you" and it just got me thinking...

Now, that's love

My brother in law is a major fan of the show Dr. Who.   He had half the series in season box sets. This show has been on air since the early part of television in general. That's like 50 years. (first aired in 1963, I just looked it up)
My sister, spent a few months and god only knows how much money on finding the other seasons for him as an anniversary gift.

Dude, that's love. That's devotion.

That's my idea of having someone win your love. Though, I'm personally not a fan of the show, and I think I've bought every television show myself I've ever been a major fan of, other then Star Trek. I don't have any of those if any guy ever wants to copy her idea here...

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Memories in black and white

I was flipping through some old scrapbooks from like a decade ago, and a few emotions washed over me.  One was missing some of the people/events/hobbies and how thin I was during those couple of years. The other, was simply the pieces used for the scrapbooks.
Everything, from photos, cards, event tickets, news clippings, stickers, drawings, poems, etc. Even cut outs from tissue boxes, they made great pop up 3D effects.

None of the people from that time of my life are still in my life. Each one of them stabbed me in the back, lied to me, cheated on me, and two even were the reason for the car accident.
But that doesn't change the fact there were good times mixed in with the bad. 

Isn't that always the case?  No matter how horrible something or someone is, after awhile, all you remember are the good times you had with them/because of them? 

So that's where my brain is tonight. Thinking back over past relationships/partnerships/friendships that were both extremely bitter and very sweet.
Here's to never forgetting the joyful sweeter times that blossomed between the storms. 

Tidbits afternoon 11th

My sister returned the two movies she borrowed earlier in the week.  She was laughing when she did.

Sister-:"I have to tell you about what happened at football today."  she was just beaming. "The youngest got all shy because of a girl. It was so cute."   he's like nine years old. "He was all like uggghhh"  she did this tough guy face raising her arms like she was flexing muscles. "Then he turned and saw this girl sitting in the front row of the bleachers and suddenly just stopped, totally froze and was blushing, tripping over his own feet. He kept staring at her through practice. It was just too cute."

Me-:"Take photos, cause in about a year and a half it won't be cute anymore. It will be you guys sneaking around keeping tabs on him and whoever he's dating."

Sister-:"He's nine. I don't think he'll be dating that soon."

Me-:"You say that now, but how often did you come home from school at that age and tell me about you and your friends?"

She made a face and blushed. "Uh crap."

Friday, May 10, 2013

post-it night time

I thought men were suppose to be mega tough?  I just checked out the highlights and photos on the wrestling site, and contrary to what everyone was telling me earlier tonight, Mad Hatter did not look that bad.  The guys were all freaking out over it on the chat thread. And Walsh for that matter...
Now that I've said that, it's probably worse then it looks. I hope it's not that bad.

You know Herman, if you want me to shut up about Mad Hatter, just lay it on the line and come out of the shadows.  Simple right?

Okay, so I think you're checking into this, yawning your head off, scratching at your chest, a large travel mug of coffee beside you. Maybe you just finished a show, or are waiting in the airport or even in the car traveling to wherever for the next show. 
I would hope, Mr. Scratchy, that if you're reading me in the car you're not the one driving.  Cell phones while driving are a big bad. That's something I will nag about to everyone.

And I was where?  Right, I imagine you tonight Mr. Scratchy, checking in tired, looking for a bit of the familiar.  

Okay Herman, dream of a coffee shop somewhere you hung out at once during one of your many nights on the road. Dream of coffee and donuts and the scent of late nights in the dark.

Boys will be careless

The chat thread on the social site I hang out on was rabid with everyone talking about the wrestling tonight, and Mad Hatter getting his eye bloodied.  Damn spoilers. I got a text from Walsh few minutes after that.

Walsh-:"Your man got hurt. He's a total mess."

Me-:"You're so not funny. He's not my man."

Walsh-:"Okay your wrestler, your boy, your guy...Give in and get over yourself. Just preparing you for when you see the show. It looked brutal."

Me-:"So I've been told. Male friend #1 and Male friend #2 on the site have been gushing like morons over it. Think they'd never seen something like it before."

Walsh-:"Not everyone is as easy to injure like you are, they probably haven't seen anything like it before."

He texted me back a few minutes after that with a strange question, which if I had been paying attention to, wouldn't have answered because if I had been paying attention I would have caught on to what he was up to.

Walsh-:"What was the name of the character Ben Browder played on Farscape?"


Walsh-:"What was the character's first name?"


I so wasn't even paying attention, cause I was still chatting on the social site.

Walsh-:"What was the name of the guy who wrote that vampire story back in the 1800's?"

Me-:"Bram Stoker"

Walsh-:"No, the one who was in that movie with Byron and Mary Shelley?"

Me-:"Dr. John Polidori"

I caught on then. Bastard! Sometimes, I'm just really slow on the uptake. 

Walsh-:"P.S. he's so totally Mr. Scratchy!"

Thursday, May 9, 2013

tidbits may 9th

I got another call just now from Tarot Lady.  They decided not to have me join the tarot group, or work the psychic fair in the fall.
I'm fine with that. I'm not really sure my skills are good enough for charging people anyways.
Little upset though that she sort of  said I shouldn't call Timothy for a while.  I get that not everyone is going to like everyone else, that's just the way life goes. But I was really looking forward to hanging out with another Wiccan.  And given he's gay, was looking forward to having a new "Stanford" in my life.  I miss JTGG more then I ever realized.
There is something just perfect about gay men. They are the perfect balance of feminine and masculine energy.

But anyways, somethings are just not meant to be. I think I've known the whole time the psychic fair just was not the right deal for me.  Hence the uneasiness about the whole thing.

I just wish everyone around me didn't keep loosing their will to be weird.

The ironic part of this is, I'm really disappointed with the news.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Twist of barbed wire

What do you do when you know someone is not worth the time of a buddy of yours?  Do you keep your mouth shut or not?
I've done both over the years. I've told my buddy when someone was playing around on then, and I've kept my mouth shut.
I've gotten in crap both times.  It's one of those no win situations, that no one comes out clean on. Not the person being cheated on, not the person cheating, and not the buddy who gets stuck with the information.

It's one of those nights, when my brain is numb from trying to work on the novel, and I was hanging around on the one social site for a bit, and just going in circles on the computer.
I've written myself into a corner. Stuck once again, unsure how to fix the chapter without deleting the whole chapter.

Ah, the first part here tonight in this post, has nothing to do with the novel, and everything to do with the social site.  Internet relationships can be the best and worst things on the planet.

Okay, as I type this right now, I'm scratching the hell out of my right shoulder and the right side of my face. And I love knowing Mr. Scratchy that you're thinking of me, I can only hope I've set some scratching off on you as well.
If you're who I think you are, then you've been tearing yourself apart for the last few hours.
But that's another theory for another time.

Okay Herman, you're like a twist of barbed wire. I'm tangled and starting to like it.

Rise to it

I got a call from Tarot Lady, asking about a potion for a client of hers.  Yeah, that's how she worded it.

Tarot Lady-:"Well, now that I know you're closer to Timothy's lifestyle then you are to mine...I have a client who has been getting regular readings now about once a month for the last six months, and she's looking to find a way to secure her boyfriend in bed. I just can't ask Timothy to make this, because he knows the man she's dating."

Me-:"Uh...what is it she's wanting? A stay faithful spell or something?"

Tarot Lady-:"Oh no, he can't get it up."

Me-:"Uh, okay well you know they have a pill for that right?"   The sarcasticness was on full tilt.

Tarot Lady-:"He won't take pills. Doesn't believe in putting chemicals into his body." 

Me-:"So asking Timothy, who being a guy might actually know something about that topic..."

She started to talk over me, cutting me off completely, getting louder.

Tarot Lady-:"I can't bring Timothy into this, because he knows the man she's dating and believes that the man is secretly in the closet, and if I tell him about this then he will do something to make him come out."

Me-:"Well, maybe that's why he can't get it up? Maybe he is gay?"

Tarot Lady-:"No, pretty sure it's just wishful thinking on Timothy's part. He thinks everyone is gay."

Me-:"Okay, I'll look through my books and notes and see what I can come up with. No pun intended."

Tarot Lady-:" What should I tell her the price will be?"


Tarot Lady-:"The potion. What do you charge for your spells?"

Me-:" I'm just looking through a few books and writing out a recipe. And there's no guarantee that I'll even find something suitable."

Tarot Lady-:" But you're a witch. It's your job to make it.  You should have seen her face when I told her that you would do this for her. You should be able to get minimum $150 for it. "

I'm one of those people who believes spells should be free. I don't care what the spell is for, it should be free.  Bit pissed off that she went and offered my help without asking me first, then told the lady in question that I would charge her x amount for it.
I went through a similar situation ten years ago with this chick who found out I did astrology charts. That had started off so innocently, like two of her friends had asked, one offered to pay and that was cool cause it was a one time thing.  But after a few times doing the charts, I found out she was charging them way over the top for them. End of that hobby and association.
My skills in astrology are really basic. Not something I want to charge people for.

Which brings me back to this now.

Me-:"I don't know if I'm the right person for this?"

Tarot Lady-:"But you're a witch. This is what witches do, you make spells, you cast spells for a living. Do you have a website?"

And I'm thinking, can I hang up now? 

Me-:"I'll see what I can find, but I can't promise anything." 

She seemed to get distracted by something then and said she'd call me tomorrow morning for it.  Something tells me she's not the type who is used to being told no.

Back to the basics Omens 101

Sneeze on a Saturday, you'll see your true love the next day.
Sneeze on a Tuesday, you'll soon be kissed.
Your shoe laces come undone, means someone is thinking of you.
The clasp on your necklace turns to the front, someone is thinking of you.
Itchy lips, you'll soon be kissed.
Itchy nose, secret admirer.
Bottom of your left foot itches, you will travel.
Left palm itches, there is money coming to you.
Right side of your body itches, your soulmate is thinking of you.

Broom/mop/silverware fall, company is coming.
Bubbles in the coffee cup/tea cup, money is coming to you.
Rice in a ring around the pot when cooking, a storm is brewing.
Eggs cracking when being boiled, unexpected/uninvited company will stop by.
Spiderwebs on the door, your lover is cheating.
Saying someone's name accidentally when meaning to say a different name, they are talking about you.
Ears burning, someone is talking about you.

I was asked to write out some of the main omens for Connie and her friends, figured, while I was at it, I'd go over the basics once again here given I refer to them so often.  As you can see, I added more then just love omens to this.
I'm having a cup of tea and working with the tarot cards.  It's moments like this that I remember why I got into the whole magickal side of things to begin with. Noticing the strangeness of omens and synchronicity of things.

And Mr. Scratchy, if you're checking in tonight at all, please smile.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Sticky side up

So, hanging around mom's still, was in the kitchen and dropped the box of salt. She asked me what I was cooking.

Me-:"Not cooking anything. My tarot cards are sticky and it's not like you can wash them with soap and water, cause paper and all."

Mom-:"I don't get it?"

Me-:"Salt and baking soda rub will dry out the sticky, then you just wipe it all off."

Mom-:"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. How did they end up sticky?"

Me-:"The Tarot Lady and Timothy yesterday were eating chicken wings in between the readings."

Mom found this to be hysterical. I'm not foo-foo about handling my cards, but at the same time I don't like having things like sauces anywhere near them. Just common sense.

While I was doing that, I got a friends request from some guy on the social site. He liked a comment I had made about the Mad Hatter.  Of course.  I'm being teased now by the general cosmos.  Anyways, I accepted the guy's friend's request. Which ended up causing some strife, as he's the dude that the teenaged girl I talk to is crushing on. The one who is in his late 30's.

Great, wonderful like my life wasn't already a mess. 

Tidbits late night

I was chatting a bit with Cheryl just now, she was telling me about another date with the new guy she met last week. They went to a concert tonight. She hated it. Seems they do not have the same taste in music.

Cheryl-:"So, any news on the dating front?"

Me-:"No. Saw this cute guy when I was out today, but didn't introduce myself or anything, was told that I am going to meet a guy in the next few months during a tarot reading, and this kid that I've been talking to on a wrestling thingie made a few passes at me. But nothing solid."

Cheryl-:"Okay back the truck up. What do you mean kid?"

Me-:"There is this kid I chat with sometimes on a my friend's list, and he's made a few flirty comments in the last week or so. All this time, I've been under the impression he's 17 and tonight he tells me he's 29. He sure as hell doesn't look it. The other day, he said he's planning a trip to Canada and asked me if I would get together for coffee with him if he happens to come through my city?  I think he thinks I live in a major metro or something?"

Cheryl-:"And you said yes right?"

Me-:"Sort of. I said sure, but I really don't expect him to come through my city, nor do I ever plan on giving him my address or anything."

Cheryl-:"But if he's that old, he's not a kid."

Me-:"There is no way he's that old."

Cheryl-:"Are you sure?"    I gave her the link to his profile, which oddly enough now reads that he was originally from Canada and moved to Mexico when he was five. That, was not there yesterday.
"Hummm. Yeah, I think you're right. I would say he's about 20 if that."

Me-:"With men, it's so hard to tell sometimes. They can look a lot older or younger, depends on if they are clean shaven or not."

 Cheryl-:"I say go for it! You need a little romance in your life. Who cares how old he is as long as he's over 18."

It seems, I am the only person I know who has an issue with age differences when dating.  I can't help it, the older I get, the smaller I want the gap to be with any man I get involved with.  I'm 39, and my limit would be around 28 years old. Anything younger then that and you're just asking for trouble.

Monday, May 6, 2013

The 3 of Pentacles

I walked into Tarot Lady's apartment around 5:30pm, and was greeted by Timothy, a very sweet very large gay man. After hugging me, he told me that he heard names.  He rattled off a list of  names, then held up his hand and said that he got the strongest vibe off of one of them.

Me-:"If you say Johnathan I'm running back downstairs."

He just held up his hands and sat down shuffling the tarot cards.  I did a reading for both Tarot Lady and for Timothy, and midway he just grinned at me as he lit a cigarette.

Me-:"Okay, what did I say?"  thinking I might have actually been right about something in the reading.  Which, it ended up I was right about more then even I thought I was. I mentioned the name of his ex-boyfriend, described what his boss looks like, and even picked up on a necklace that meant something to him, which he'd lost.  I was on a high.  Ha, take that Mr. Scratchy! That means I've been right about something in regards to you all these months. Yes, I'm being a arse right now but I'm on a tarot high.

Timothy-:"The name ----- mean anything? Like an old lover?"  I cringed, he then went ahead and described my ex. "He's going to show up again. You'll have to make a choice about something when he does."

Me-:"There is no choice, he left and that's that. I don't need anything from him."

Timothy-:"You have to have closure. You need to talk to him."  I don't want to hear that. I made a face and started to change the subject.  "Okay, so who's Johnathan?"  he smiled at me.

Me-:"This kid who delivers pizza. Not important."  I was scratching the hell out of the right side of my face and arm for the first hour I was there.

He out right laughed, and pulled another card out of the deck. "That's not what I'm seeing. I'm seeing someone else."  The reading he did for me lasted almost 45 minutes, most readings take about 15 minutes.
It was after 9:30pm when the readings were done.  I'm still unsure if I should be doing the psychic fair in the fall, but I was really glad I met Timothy.  We talked for hours about some of the people we've known in common over the years in the wicca community. He seemed really giddy when I told him I saw a new boyfriend in his cards.

I got back to my mom's apartment and saw that there were two messages from Walsh.  I texted him, asking what was up.

Walsh-:"What the hell took you so long to reply?"

Me-:"I was upstairs hanging out with mom's neighbours, left phone in mom's apartment."

Walsh-:"So you haven't been watching wrestling tonight?"

Me-:"No. Mom's DVRing it, going to watch it now. Why? Am I going to hate it tonight?"

Walsh-:"The Pack won their match. Mad Hatter got the pin."

Me-:"Okay, that's all you wanted? Thanks for the spoiler love that."

Walsh-:"Went for coffee with a friend and was going to invite you along to introduce you to him, but too late now."

Interesting night, lots to process.