Monday, September 26, 2016

Like a hydrogen bomb in your corset

I was at the cafe doing tarot readings on the weekend, and both Pussycat and the Princess were working. Princess was telling us about her latest date.

Princess-:"There was no chemistry. Totally bored me to sleep couldn't wait to leave. Then he hugs me, and asked what I was doing next weekend? I had to tell him there was another guy I'd met few days before who I'd sort of started something with and wanted to be exclusive."

Me-:"So you lied."

Princess-:"No...there is another guy. "

Pussycat turned from the dishes he was stacking into the machine and looked at her. "Wait, didn't I hear this last week?"

Princess-:"Yeah, I had to tell the hippy from last week the same thing. Cause, he was too relaxed."

Me-:"So you lied twice. Two different men were into you and you told them the same lie. Wow."

Pussycat-:"Um...too relaxed? How does that work? Oh forgot, you're Miss Super Extreme Type A Personality where everything has to be so tightly wrung."

I handed Princess my phone so I could get a few photos of me that weren't bad extreme close ups. They came out blurry.

Princess-:"What do you need the photos for?" she smiled wide nodding. "Are you going to do a dating site? Huh are you huh huh?"

Me-:"I've done that in the past and it's never been any good. But I'm glad you are finding it fun."

Pussycat made a few popping noises with his mouth and blushed, which is not something he ever does. Then dropping the dish soap into the machine he stood up and looked over at Princess.

Pussycat-:"I'm bursting here. Okay I can't deny or confirm cause I was sworn to secrecy, but I can say that Bob commented that he really liked the reading the other week."  he had this big grin on his face as he moved around the kitchen getting his phone. "I totally need to show you this dick pick some guy sent me." he started flipping through the little machine while Princess cleared her throat. "Oh right, yes I was sworn to not say anything, but Bob did comment that he enjoyed sitting with you."

Me-:"I had a headache after doing his reading."

Princess-:"Yeah, he's given me a headache sometimes when he's been here too. It's the aftershave he uses when you get too close."

Me-:"No, I really had a migraine for a few days after doing his reading. Like vomit worthy. I literally wanted to puke after doing his reading."

Both stopped what they were doing, Pussycat's face going ten shades of red his eyes wide and Princess's mouth dropping to the edge of her shirt. Pussycat blinked went another shade darker which I didn't think was humanly possible, and then mumbled something as he held the phone up to us.

Pussycat-:"I guess there is no point in continuing."

I left few minutes after that. It didn't sink in till I was half way home what he was doing. He was trying to play matchmaker.  Wonderful, so it's not a case of not being able to find someone, it's just a case of not being able to find someone I can stomach.

No comments:

Post a Comment