I was just listening to that old song from 1989 by Kiss "Hide Your Heart". One of those backwards love songs that you don't think of as a love song right off the bat because it's not slow. It's not until you listen to a few lines that you get it. It's also got a deeper underline to it. Be careful what you choose. Or in this case, who you choose.
It's the age old idea of following your heart or your head. Which is something that everyone finds themselves in the middle of more then once in their life, and not always about relationships either.
I'm sure I freaked out a few of the neighbours as they walked down the hallway just now, as I sang along to it. I had one of those moments during the song where I had wished I'd followed my heart when I was younger and had had the opportunity to sing. Really sing, not just...well not just the starts and stops in an old friends garage band that never made it past first rehearsal or the bad choices I made for myself because of hanging around karaoke bars. The many many bad choices I made because of the people I hung around with in karaoke bars. Bloody hell, there's about ten years of my relationships that started and ended brutally in karaoke bars.
The thought flashed through my mind while I was singing the song loudly, about how age is just a number to some, and for others it's the biggest divide.
Here's the thing; right before I got the incredible urge to listen to this song, I had asked the universe for a sign. Can't tell you what about, just that I asked for a sign and this song was firmly stuck in my head for a bit forcing me to find it and listen.
The song did something else. It flashed in my mind a quote about a question that more then one of those relationship gurus have asked over the years. Can you live with the idea that you might never actually meet your soulmate and be okay with it? My original thought was no, I can't. Which quickly faded as I thought about the lyrics I was belting out, and how the song flips from one character finding real honest love to the other having an obsessive love relationship. The kind that can leave you abused physically and emotionally.
Crap. Back to soulmates. Why does everything in my life come back to soulmates? Even when I just want to sing? And with my mind flashing back to the topic of soulmates, how some say they are there just to help us learn karmic lessons and how some say they are rewards for those struggles that the karmic lessons teach us. And yet, how some say they are our mirror selves.
The song is only 4minutes and 30seconds long. That's a lot of weight to crash down in such a short few minutes.
Did I find the sign I was looking for before listening to the song? If I did, I wasn't smart enough to notice. But the song did remind me that fear can make us make choices that are bad for us; and make the wrong choices that spiral out of control. I need reminding sometimes that every choice we make, affects not just us, but others as well.
Oh, and during that 4minutes and 30seconds I was lost in the song, my right side itched madly. First time in a really long time it would seem that Mr. Scratchy was thinking of me. See, and there's the topic of soulmates again.