Friday, July 14, 2017

Dirty Laundry 71

So yesterday, I was hanging out with Marie. We had gone for coffee and she pulled up this video on twitter shoving the phone to my hear telling me to listen and tell her what I thought of it.

Me-:"Well he's drunk."

Marie-:"He doesn't drink though."

Me-:"Then he's really stoned."

Marie-:"No. He doesn't do that."

Me-:"You're telling me that that isn't an extremely drunk depressed guy?"

she played it again twice listening to it with her eyes closed.

Marie-:"You think I'm reading too much into it?"

Me-:"No. He's picked something he knows will 100% get your attention, like right after you said you weren't going to talk to him about the situation anymore. This is his reacting to it. Reacting badly, but reacting none the less."  the building was starting to get really crowded so we left, walking around the parking lot a bit before going into the grocery.

Here's the thing. Few nights ago, we were hanging out at her place and she started talking about how when she was younger she'd be the bold one of her group and just randomly go up to a hot guy and ask him out or his name etc, for her friends. I didn't think anything of it, because we were talking about her situation with Mr. Tweets.  Well, I should have thought something of it, because we weren't in the store more than a minute when she turned spotting the Grocery Boy pointed at him. He saw us and had this look as if cold water had been thrown on him.

Then it got weird.

He started to wander from aisle to aisle circling us. Yeah, he was following us without trying to look like he was. And we were not quiet. The more Marie noticed him, the louder she got. It was like 8th grade all over again, only not as respectable. And she kept making me laugh. Like cartoon witch cackling snorting laugh.  Yeah, that bad.  Every time we passed one of the standing freezers, she started to play with her hair fixing it, blushing. 

At this point, I had groceries that needed to be paid for so I went and stood in line while she continued to wander around. I saw her talking to one of the other stock boys, blushing and stammering like a teenager before catching up to me with this look of pure triumph on her face.

Me-:"What did you do?"

She pointed to the one guy smiling like a goofball as we walked out of the building.

Marie-:"I asked what the name of your guy is."

Me-:"That's it? Seriously, what did you say?"

Marie-:"I just asked if he could tell me who the guy he was talking to's name was because my friend though he might be her nephew and she needed to double check..."

Me-:"What? What the hell? How is that going to...what the f***?" I nearly tripped over my own feet on that.

Marie-:"I said we thought his name was ----- and we needed to make sure. And guess what, it actually was." she shrugged at me lighting a smoke.

Me-:"Oh my god! Why did you do that? Now he's going to think we're related!"

Marie-:"Not like hot guy there is going to tell him. Besides, I was the one who asked, and I don't shop there so not like he's going to ever see me again."

Me-:"He's going to be all like 'dude, some chick was asking about you, says she's your aunt'; and buddy is going to ask what you looked like and figure it out. He's going to think we're related now and if he was crushing on me, he won't be anymore."

Marie-:"-----. His name which I just learned is -----."  she actually curtsied. She honestly didn't see the issue.

I spent a few hours playing it over in my head last night, wondering if she did it on purpose because she might actually be interested in him herself, or if she really didn't think the co-worker would relay the message, or if it just didn't occur to her that by saying that she would possibly creep the dude out.  It was like being back in high school all over again, or college for that matter, and those times my prettier friends snagged the guy I liked because they could.

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