Hiding out at mom's. So to speak. She has air conditioning, I do not.
Mom was talking with sister about going to see a musical at the local theater. Sister screwed up her nose to it, said she refused to see anything that Sophia the Wannabe Socialite is in.
Me-:"She back in town? Thought she moved to Toronto?"
Mom-:"She's back for this play. Thought it would be nice."
Me-:"Why man?"
Sister-:"I don't want to talk about it. Don't want to think about it." she gestured with her hand in a dismissive motion. "She's gone crazy. Like crazy crazy."
Me-:"She was crazy before she left."
Mom-:"Yeah but she's really turned out crazy. It's the group she's with."
Sister-:"Doesn't know what she wants, who she wants to be, or what she wants to be you know. Depends on the group she's hooked in with."
Me-:"That's rough man. But, totally for the better. Your friendship ending. Better for you man."
Sister-:"Man. Man. Okay man." she leaned towards me with wide eyes laughing. "Have you been watching Hunter S. Thompson movies again...man?" she laughed.
Me-:"Reading actually. Totally man, don't take any guff from those rat bastards! Fiends, Swine!" I said in my best impression of Johnny Depp via Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Sister-:"I actually liked Bill Murray in Where the Buffalo Roam. One of his better ones."
Mom-:"Now you both lost me."
Me-:"You say that like it's a bad thing?"
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
A post-it note for you
Mr. Scratchy, Herman. How was your evening?
The fairy tale, you're in it aren't you? I think you are. I was asked what I hope to accomplish by it, and my answer was for one wrestler to like it. Just one. Two would be fabulous, three beyond wicked. But one is good.
I've got nothing tonight. I just typed something like four times and deleted it, so that tells you how brain dead I am tonight.
Okay Herman, I imagine you checking in to this tonight, tired, and feeling...complicated. Yeah I have no idea why the word complicated jumped into my mind, but it did.
I think you're dressed in a pair of shorts, and having that usual cup of tea while you read me.
Risk it here... things were less complicated when I still believed you were The Celebrity. There is that word again, complicated.
Now complication is the only thing happening. For now anyways. The most likely possibilities are still Dimmer, Rebel without a Cause and Mad Hatter.
And somewhere, The Celebrity is reading all this laughing shaking his head thinking he should have gotten the recipe for banana bread few years back when I offered. There's a guy who I hope never looses his will to be weird.
The fairy tale, you're in it aren't you? I think you are. I was asked what I hope to accomplish by it, and my answer was for one wrestler to like it. Just one. Two would be fabulous, three beyond wicked. But one is good.
I've got nothing tonight. I just typed something like four times and deleted it, so that tells you how brain dead I am tonight.
Okay Herman, I imagine you checking in to this tonight, tired, and feeling...complicated. Yeah I have no idea why the word complicated jumped into my mind, but it did.
I think you're dressed in a pair of shorts, and having that usual cup of tea while you read me.
Risk it here... things were less complicated when I still believed you were The Celebrity. There is that word again, complicated.
Now complication is the only thing happening. For now anyways. The most likely possibilities are still Dimmer, Rebel without a Cause and Mad Hatter.
And somewhere, The Celebrity is reading all this laughing shaking his head thinking he should have gotten the recipe for banana bread few years back when I offered. There's a guy who I hope never looses his will to be weird.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Still a Monday
I got a message from Walsh with the usual. I let him know I was at mom's and still not talking to him.
Walsh-:"Read some more of the fairy tale. Um..."
Me-:"Still not talking to you. And what do you mean um?"
Walsh-:"Getting a bit too romance like. What did I do?"
Me-:"Ruined my reality by telling me stuff I didn't want to know."
Walsh-:"Not my fault."
Me-:"Yes it is. Totally your fault."
Walsh-:"So you are actually watching the show tonight?"
Me-:"Yes. Why?"
Walsh-:"Your boys went back to basics eh?"
Me-:"Always."
Walsh-:"Anything new with your chat buddy?"
Me-:"No, think he's gotten bored. He's flirting with a bunch."
Walsh-:"Still think you should just date him."
Walsh-:"Read some more of the fairy tale. Um..."
Me-:"Still not talking to you. And what do you mean um?"
Walsh-:"Getting a bit too romance like. What did I do?"
Me-:"Ruined my reality by telling me stuff I didn't want to know."
Walsh-:"Not my fault."
Me-:"Yes it is. Totally your fault."
Walsh-:"So you are actually watching the show tonight?"
Me-:"Yes. Why?"
Walsh-:"Your boys went back to basics eh?"
Me-:"Always."
Walsh-:"Anything new with your chat buddy?"
Me-:"No, think he's gotten bored. He's flirting with a bunch."
Walsh-:"Still think you should just date him."
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Sunday post-it note
Sunday. Wrestling ppv tonight. Decided after much debate that I'm going to order it.
Well, Mr. Scratchy, Herman, you might be wondering maybe where I've been this week? Writing mostly.
I imagine you checking in right now, having a cup of coffee, maybe reading the sports websites or something, sitting around in a pair of dirty jeans, getting ready for work.
I'm watching a movie that's set in the 70's, and there are real typewriters in it, and it makes me miss having a typewriter. I know I'm weird.
Well, Mr. Scratchy, Herman, you might be wondering maybe where I've been this week? Writing mostly.
I imagine you checking in right now, having a cup of coffee, maybe reading the sports websites or something, sitting around in a pair of dirty jeans, getting ready for work.
I'm watching a movie that's set in the 70's, and there are real typewriters in it, and it makes me miss having a typewriter. I know I'm weird.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Two for the price of half
6:25pm. Heard the downstairs neighbour stomp up the stairs and answer the front door to the building. Walls are paper thin around here. This is the guy who's wife left him for abuse.
Could hear the sound of a woman laughing. Bottles clanking.
I turned on my stereo to drown it out. Didn't work.
A few minutes later, heard the neighbour once again stomp up the stairs and answer the front door to the building. Hear a second female voice.
By 6:45pm, could hear an extremely loud female voice in the final seconds of an orgasm. And I say extremely loud, because I could hear it over my Sepultura cd. That's loud. Then heard water running in the pipes. The door slammed, high heels on the stairs and the front door to the building slam.
About a minute later, heard another loud female voice in the final seconds of an orgasm. Then once again, water running in the pipes, the door slammed, and someone running up the stairs and out the front door of the building.
It's 6:57pm. Just heard the neighbour answer the front door to the building again, and another female voice saying sorry she's late.
Oh my god. I think I might have to switch from Sepultura to Cradle of Filth. You can't hear anything over Cradle of Filth.
Could hear the sound of a woman laughing. Bottles clanking.
I turned on my stereo to drown it out. Didn't work.
A few minutes later, heard the neighbour once again stomp up the stairs and answer the front door to the building. Hear a second female voice.
By 6:45pm, could hear an extremely loud female voice in the final seconds of an orgasm. And I say extremely loud, because I could hear it over my Sepultura cd. That's loud. Then heard water running in the pipes. The door slammed, high heels on the stairs and the front door to the building slam.
About a minute later, heard another loud female voice in the final seconds of an orgasm. Then once again, water running in the pipes, the door slammed, and someone running up the stairs and out the front door of the building.
It's 6:57pm. Just heard the neighbour answer the front door to the building again, and another female voice saying sorry she's late.
Oh my god. I think I might have to switch from Sepultura to Cradle of Filth. You can't hear anything over Cradle of Filth.
Random 9/7/13
Sitting here, having a glass of wine. Merlot. Just got back from mom's where I was watching last night's wrestling.
Cool to see Dimmer is getting his on air push, and doing so in shades of grey.
Was at the grocery earlier, there's a shocker for ya eh? And one of the guys who works there stopped me by the dairy fridge and asked me if I was the lady looking for the goat milk? Very odd, given he asked me the same thing two weeks ago. I had already said no and was moving towards the check out when I realized, the dude was using it as an opening line. Way to talk to women there guy.
He was cute, I should have lied and said I was.
Cute. Odd word when you think about it. Ironically, means such different things to people. Cute, to me has always meant more of a innocent charm. I'm famous for saying "aw he's so cute." Which could mean the dude is funny as hell, or the type of guy you would expect to see as the latest heart throb on the cover of a teen magazine.
Cool to see Dimmer is getting his on air push, and doing so in shades of grey.
Was at the grocery earlier, there's a shocker for ya eh? And one of the guys who works there stopped me by the dairy fridge and asked me if I was the lady looking for the goat milk? Very odd, given he asked me the same thing two weeks ago. I had already said no and was moving towards the check out when I realized, the dude was using it as an opening line. Way to talk to women there guy.
He was cute, I should have lied and said I was.
Cute. Odd word when you think about it. Ironically, means such different things to people. Cute, to me has always meant more of a innocent charm. I'm famous for saying "aw he's so cute." Which could mean the dude is funny as hell, or the type of guy you would expect to see as the latest heart throb on the cover of a teen magazine.
Friday, July 5, 2013
But the photo is great
Walsh-:"You owe me seven dollars." He said as I opened the door.
Me-:"What for? We haven't had any bets lately."
He handed me a magazine. "I bought you a wrestling magazine."
Me-:"I don't read wrestling magazines."
Walsh-:"You need to read this one." he said flipping to a page and pointing to the article. "Interview with Mad Hatter and guess what he mentions...barbed wire."
I read the paragraph. "Okay." Walsh held out his hand. "I'm not paying you seven bucks for a magazine I never asked for, specially not for one paragraph's worth."
Walsh-:"Fine, then you can buy me a really expensive coffee." I had heard this morning from mom that Walsh's sister was sick again. So, I know he's in deep distraction mode. "So anything new with your little chat buddy?"
Me-:"Actually, yes. Well, sort of. More like a case of about him. This one chick on the social site, who I also talk to on the book site, we spent like two hours last night on the topic of Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico-. I thought she was going to confess her undying love for him, but ends up, she wanted to tell me that he's been telling her about me." my cousin laughed. "See, funny right."
Walsh-:"The kid's got a crush on you. Enjoy it."
Me-:"Easy for you to say. She showed me a bunch of chats and private emails they had, and he's got like twenty chicks after him but he keeps turning them down cause he said he's got and I quote feelings for me, end quote. That's not right. Not right man."
Walsh shrugged still laughing. "Enjoy it. Just go with it, harmless."
Me-:"Harmless you say."
Walsh-:"What's it going to hurt? Have an online fling with him."
Me-:"That's just it, I don't want an online fling. I want a real relationship, with the right guy. I want the next relationship to be the relationship."
Walsh-:"How do you know it won't be?" he shrugged again.
Me-:"Um, you of all people even say you think the right guy is going to be a Johnathan. He's not a Johnathan."
My cousin got a text from one of his buddies and answered it, then said he was off to a baseball game. He looked at me with this large grin on his face, his eyes sparkling. "Speaking of true love, has Mad Hatter..."
Me-:"For the 50,000th time, Mad Hatter is not Mr. Scratchy!"
Walsh-"...yes he is." he put his phone away and got out a cigarette turning to leave. " Okay fine, has Mr. Scratchy told you his name yet?"
Me-:"What's that got to do with anything?"
He nearly choked as he took a drag on this cigarette, he was laughing so hard. "Come on, you really going to...you're not that f***ing stupid are you?"
Me-:"You're the one who seems to have all the answers to my love life. Yes that f***ing stupid."
Walsh just pointed once again to the magazine this time to the photo of Mad Hatter. "Think about it." I shook my head totally not getting him. "You're not stupid. You know what his last character was in the independent companies. Why do you think he went with it?"
Me-:"NO!" I screamed. Screamed so loud the neighbour opened his door to see what was going on.
Walsh was laughing so hard he was doubled over red faced. "Oh god, this has years of fun written all over it." he turned towards the neighbour still laughing. "Okay, I'm late the game's going to be started before I get there. Say hi to auntie for me." he took off, leaving me standing there feeling like an ass. A total ass.
Me-:"What for? We haven't had any bets lately."
He handed me a magazine. "I bought you a wrestling magazine."
Me-:"I don't read wrestling magazines."
Walsh-:"You need to read this one." he said flipping to a page and pointing to the article. "Interview with Mad Hatter and guess what he mentions...barbed wire."
I read the paragraph. "Okay." Walsh held out his hand. "I'm not paying you seven bucks for a magazine I never asked for, specially not for one paragraph's worth."
Walsh-:"Fine, then you can buy me a really expensive coffee." I had heard this morning from mom that Walsh's sister was sick again. So, I know he's in deep distraction mode. "So anything new with your little chat buddy?"
Me-:"Actually, yes. Well, sort of. More like a case of about him. This one chick on the social site, who I also talk to on the book site, we spent like two hours last night on the topic of Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico-. I thought she was going to confess her undying love for him, but ends up, she wanted to tell me that he's been telling her about me." my cousin laughed. "See, funny right."
Walsh-:"The kid's got a crush on you. Enjoy it."
Me-:"Easy for you to say. She showed me a bunch of chats and private emails they had, and he's got like twenty chicks after him but he keeps turning them down cause he said he's got and I quote feelings for me, end quote. That's not right. Not right man."
Walsh shrugged still laughing. "Enjoy it. Just go with it, harmless."
Me-:"Harmless you say."
Walsh-:"What's it going to hurt? Have an online fling with him."
Me-:"That's just it, I don't want an online fling. I want a real relationship, with the right guy. I want the next relationship to be the relationship."
Walsh-:"How do you know it won't be?" he shrugged again.
Me-:"Um, you of all people even say you think the right guy is going to be a Johnathan. He's not a Johnathan."
My cousin got a text from one of his buddies and answered it, then said he was off to a baseball game. He looked at me with this large grin on his face, his eyes sparkling. "Speaking of true love, has Mad Hatter..."
Me-:"For the 50,000th time, Mad Hatter is not Mr. Scratchy!"
Walsh-"...yes he is." he put his phone away and got out a cigarette turning to leave. " Okay fine, has Mr. Scratchy told you his name yet?"
Me-:"What's that got to do with anything?"
He nearly choked as he took a drag on this cigarette, he was laughing so hard. "Come on, you really going to...you're not that f***ing stupid are you?"
Me-:"You're the one who seems to have all the answers to my love life. Yes that f***ing stupid."
Walsh just pointed once again to the magazine this time to the photo of Mad Hatter. "Think about it." I shook my head totally not getting him. "You're not stupid. You know what his last character was in the independent companies. Why do you think he went with it?"
Me-:"NO!" I screamed. Screamed so loud the neighbour opened his door to see what was going on.
Walsh was laughing so hard he was doubled over red faced. "Oh god, this has years of fun written all over it." he turned towards the neighbour still laughing. "Okay, I'm late the game's going to be started before I get there. Say hi to auntie for me." he took off, leaving me standing there feeling like an ass. A total ass.
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