Walsh-:"You owe me seven dollars." He said as I opened the door.
Me-:"What for? We haven't had any bets lately."
He handed me a magazine. "I bought you a wrestling magazine."
Me-:"I don't read wrestling magazines."
Walsh-:"You need to read this one." he said flipping to a page and pointing to the article. "Interview with Mad Hatter and guess what he mentions...barbed wire."
I read the paragraph. "Okay." Walsh held out his hand. "I'm not paying you seven bucks for a magazine I never asked for, specially not for one paragraph's worth."
Walsh-:"Fine, then you can buy me a really expensive coffee." I had heard this morning from mom that Walsh's sister was sick again. So, I know he's in deep distraction mode. "So anything new with your little chat buddy?"
Me-:"Actually, yes. Well, sort of. More like a case of about him. This one chick on the social site, who I also talk to on the book site, we spent like two hours last night on the topic of Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico-. I thought she was going to confess her undying love for him, but ends up, she wanted to tell me that he's been telling her about me." my cousin laughed. "See, funny right."
Walsh-:"The kid's got a crush on you. Enjoy it."
Me-:"Easy for you to say. She showed me a bunch of chats and private emails they had, and he's got like twenty chicks after him but he keeps turning them down cause he said he's got and I quote feelings for me, end quote. That's not right. Not right man."
Walsh shrugged still laughing. "Enjoy it. Just go with it, harmless."
Me-:"Harmless you say."
Walsh-:"What's it going to hurt? Have an online fling with him."
Me-:"That's just it, I don't want an online fling. I want a real relationship, with the right guy. I want the next relationship to be the relationship."
Walsh-:"How do you know it won't be?" he shrugged again.
Me-:"Um, you of all people even say you think the right guy is going to be a Johnathan. He's not a Johnathan."
My cousin got a text from one of his buddies and answered it, then said he was off to a baseball game. He looked at me with this large grin on his face, his eyes sparkling. "Speaking of true love, has Mad Hatter..."
Me-:"For the 50,000th time, Mad Hatter is not Mr. Scratchy!"
Walsh-"...yes he is." he put his phone away and got out a cigarette turning to leave. " Okay fine, has Mr. Scratchy told you his name yet?"
Me-:"What's that got to do with anything?"
He nearly choked as he took a drag on this cigarette, he was laughing so hard. "Come on, you really going to...you're not that f***ing stupid are you?"
Me-:"You're the one who seems to have all the answers to my love life. Yes that f***ing stupid."
Walsh just pointed once again to the magazine this time to the photo of Mad Hatter. "Think about it." I shook my head totally not getting him. "You're not stupid. You know what his last character was in the independent companies. Why do you think he went with it?"
Me-:"NO!" I screamed. Screamed so loud the neighbour opened his door to see what was going on.
Walsh was laughing so hard he was doubled over red faced. "Oh god, this has years of fun written all over it." he turned towards the neighbour still laughing. "Okay, I'm late the game's going to be started before I get there. Say hi to auntie for me." he took off, leaving me standing there feeling like an ass. A total ass.