Dirty Laundry 62

Just got a text from my cousin Walsh, "What did you think?"

Me-:"What am I thinking about?"

Walsh-:"The show last night."

Me-:"What show?"

Walsh-:"Company Two."

Me-:"Haven't watched it in months. Why?"

Walsh-:"New Fav was on."

Me-:"Brilliant, why'd you not tell me when the show was on?"

Walsh-:"Thought you were watching it."

Me-:"No, gave up on all of it months ago. Last wrestling I watched was New Company back like October. Was actually thinking about getting rid of my sports package cause there's no indication New Company will be back on Canadian tv."

Walsh-:"There's a replay tomorrow." he was meaning Company Two

Me-:"Thanks. At lest that will help with the fairy tale and maybe keep the writer's block away."

Walsh-:"I told you, they have a youtube."   he was meaning New Company.

Me-:"Yeah, and I think I've seen the one promo of his like 30 times now. There's only so much storyline I can squeeze out of a 45 second promo."

Walsh-:"hahaha! Well there you go. He's back on Canadian tv."

post it note Jan 18 2017

Dear Mr. Scratchy:

Been too long Herman. Too long. I was sitting here tonight, processing some of the events happening around me. My day started with a text from Pussycat, telling me he's quit the cafe. Sad to hear that one. He then informed me that the last tarot reading I had done there for Princess came full blown true. I predicted she'd start dating a tall man who happens to be a Pisces or Cancer zodiac. I was seeing a water personality. And she's begun dating a Pisces. Here's hoping her fishy is a much more decent one than the Pisces men I've dated over the years.
My afternoon was uneventful, unless you want to consider the very nice East Indian guy who was being yelled at in the hallway by his one girlfriend. She's Canadian and just found out he's got a fiancee in India. And I know this because they were literally leaning on my front door when she started swearing at him. This is what I get for being so close to the exit.  Scared someone is going to get shoved into it and break my locks.
Supper time was almost as fun, not as scary but you know...odd. My ex ----- has taken to standing right outside my window when he goes out for a smoke. I can't believe he's still living in the building. Marie, one of the girls from my witch group, couldn't believe I ever dated him. Told me I could do better. I know this. I have done better since.
Well, I've got some work on the fairy tale to do. So...I really want to ask you a bunch of questions about movies. I watched this one the other day, and there was a line in it that got me thinking. Anyways...

I imagine you checking in tonight Herman, dressed in those black track pants, a yellow t-shirt with some faded logo on it. Those little wired rimmed glasses I think you wear, and a cup of tea beside you. I believe you're winding down after a long day, maybe sitting with the tv on while you check in. I want to say that you've got the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on in the background, god only knows why that popped into my head.

p.s. I've typed this twice and deleted it but...I want to say watch your back. The real reason I felt the need to post this tonight Herman, is that the ten of swords and the five of pentacles has been coming up all week in the tarots. Grief and mistakes. And everyone in my physical life seems to be good with their current situations. Or at lest at peace with them.

Picture the real you

I got a text from my aunt, Walsh's step mom few hours ago out of nowhere  "You need to put on some make-up."

Me-:"Huh? Was that meant for me?"

Aunt-:"I was just noticing that you're not wearing any make-up in your photos. On instagram."

Me-:"I never wear make-up."   which is true, other than eyeliner and shadow.

Aunt-:"You will look prettier when you do yourself up. I have a friend who makes these organic lipsticks, she's actually got a profile on there."  she sent me the link.  

A-ha! This was about money. My aunt is co-owner in like a million different things here in town. She's always pushing some product or business. This had nothing to do with my level of ugliness. Mostly.

Aunt-:"Why didn't you tell me you're on instagram? I would have sent you a ton of links"

Me-:"Cause I just joined the other day. Didn't think about it."

I immediately had to message my cousin, cause his step mom was making me feel like crap. 

Me to Walsh-:"Hey. You're step mom just texted me. Told me I'm not pretty enough for photos."

Walsh-:"hahahahah! How's everything else?"

Me-:"Same as always. I've hit another writer's block."

Walsh-:"Oh? I haven't been to your blog since before Hallowe'en. Give me a bit I'll catch up with the fairy tale." 

I managed to make supper and watch half an episode of Star Trek before he got back to me.

Walsh-:"I don't see anything wrong with it? It seems to me like you're on a bit of a roll actually."

Me-:"Yeah? I'm not feeling it. Dude! I swear every time I comment about how I'm inspired, my muse is taken from me. I talked about how I totally dig the New Company, and like a week later they are no longer on tv."

Walsh-:"hahaha! I think I saw a post about that on their facebook."

Me-:"Yeah. I actually caught that."

Walsh-:"It's dated after you made your comment about it."

Me-:"Yeah, I think I cursed it and myself. The show got cursed because I said I like it. And now I'm stuck without a muse. Writer's block sucks."

Walsh-:"It's not like they are sitting there beside you whispering in your ear what to write."

Me-:"I'm a very out of sight out of mind though, I need to have constant fresh footage to inspire.Why wrestling works so well. Same guys, different stuff."

Walsh-:"They have a youtube you know."

Me-:"This is me sticking my tongue out at you right now, tongue out spit flying."

Walsh-:"You know what? I think they wrote that for you, cause you said they were your new muse."

Me-:"Did you forget to wear your hardhat at work today? A hammer fall off a ladder and smash your brains in?"

Walsh-:"Then I would be dead. Think about it. Even you have to admit the timing of it is weird."

Me-:"Only thing I have to admit is you have a lot of theories that you mind warp me into believing."

Walsh-:"I don't mind warp you, when have I ever mind warped you?"

Me-:"You drilled it into my head about Kevin back in school, about your one buddy few years ago.You are evil."

Walsh-:"Fine! I'm the devil. But, I'm standing by this one. I think they announced because you did."

Me-:"That would mean that someone at the New Company would have to know who I am."

Walsh-:"Well, it makes sense right? We know there are a few wrestlers who do read you."

Me-:"We know they used to, but who knows about now a days?"

Walsh-:"Don't! No pouting! You never know who your fans are till you meet them."

Me-:"I dont' have fans."

Walsh-:"Then what do you call your regulars?"

Me-:"Regular readers."

Walsh-:"Yeah, that's the definition of a fan."

Me-:"No. Fans interact. My readers just read. And talk among themselves, cause my ears burn a lot right after I post the fairy tale each week."

Walsh-:"hahahahah! That's funny."

Me-:"The muse becomes the muse or something?"

Walsh-:"You know what you should do...instagram! Honestly I hate to say it but my step mom is right, you need to use it for dating."

Me-:"You're not funny."

Walsh-:"Not trying to be. Make sure you put up a few photos of yourself in something hot with make-up."

Me-:"You're still not funny."

Walsh-:"I'm just telling you like it is."

Do Tell

Pussycat-:"Our horoscope says that this is the time to tell the person we have a crush on that we have a crush on them because they have only eyes for us."

Me-:"I have a crush on you."

Pussycat-:"Doll, everyone has a crush on me. I'm just so crushable. hahaha!"

I didn't have any clients booked for tarot readings, so stayed home today. Which is fine, as the one staff I don't care for was working Pussycat's shift today.

Me-:"But you have eyes for all of your crushes?"

Pussycat-:"I have a few. Like the new guy who has been delivering the homemade olive soap to the cafe lately. Have you seen him? To die for."

Me-:"I really don't understand why the dish soap has to be organic? I mean, dude it's just soap and it's not like any of the staff are allergic to the regular stuff?"

Pussycat-:"It's locally made. Helping the community and it's green. Keep it green babes. So, you ready to face the world and slide up to your mans? Huh? Don't dream it be it doll." 

Me-:"This would imply that first off I have a crush on someone, and second that it's someone I see on a regular basis. And third, someone crushes on me.  You're really the only guy I see on a regular."

Pussycat-:"There's got to be someone?"

Me-:"Nope."

Pussycat-:"No one in your building, or at the store? What about The Salesman?"

Me-:"Over that. Nope. The only guys around here are like seventeen year olds, and gay guys. You really have a better shot in my neighbourhood than I do."

Pussycat-:"Just think, there is some guy out there right now thinking about you! Believe it doll. Everyone has a crush on someone. And somewhere there is a guy who is thinking about you with his hands down his pants."

Me-:"Somehow doubt it, but thanks for the image."

Pussycat-:"I see a tough loving tattooed bearded man."

Me-:"What do you mean tough loving?"

Pussycat-:" I dunno in my mind I see him looking at you with mad love in his eyes."

Me-:"You see me with a crazy person, good to know."

Pussycat-:"Ya. Crazy about you..."

Me-:"So what does that feel like? To have someone want you that much?"

Pussycat-:"I have no idea babe...Never had that in my life! Trust me I was almost always space filler."

Me-:"I don't believe that. You are not just filler."

Pussycat-:"I'm not the kind of guy men drool over. Or even go out of their way to be with. Just a fling or the other man...I'm the Samantha. So the Samantha."

Me-:"So you going to take your own advice on this and tell your mad crush you only have eyes for him?"

Pussycat-:"I will if you do."

Me-:"I just did, you said you knew."

Pussycat-:"hahahaha! I mean for real. Be open then to hearing someone tell you they have a crush on you."

Drag my insecurity out of me

I got a message from my cousin Walsh this afternoon while I was at the cafe. I had been scheduled for tarot readings. 

Walsh-:"What happens?"

Me-:"??????"

Walsh-:"In the fairy tale. I saw your post and went got caught up. And?"

Me-:"You will just have to wait for the weekly post like everyone else."

Walsh-:"You suck."

Me-:"Only sometimes. Sometimes you just don't want to even look at it."

Walsh-:"And that's why you're single."

Pussycat was late getting there for work today, Princess had the morning shift and was in a fit because the owner decided to "invite" her to dinner, not informing Princess that she'd invited her son who is home from university.

Pussycat-:"What's wrong with her?"

Me-:"She's angry because she's got a social life. Dinner, a party, going to a concert."

Princess-:"I don't want to have a social life. Take it, it's all yours."  she stormed off ripping her apron off in a huff. "We're out of onions, I'll be back in ten minutes just walking to the grocery."

Pussycat-:"Seriously, what happened?"

Me-:"She's mad because the owner tricked her into a date with her son."

Pussycat-:"Oh! Yeah that's not good. How's you?" he hugged me. "Your phone is lit up like a tree."

Me-:"Walsh. He's trying to worm information out of me."

Pussycat-:"About what?"

Me-:"Just that fairy tale I'm writing. I told you about it." he nodded then looked at me mouth open.

Pussycat-:"You are totally coming to this thing I have to host this week. I'm sending you the invite on facebook right now. You'll doll, love it! LOVE IT! My girls will be there."  he meant his drag queen friends. "It's a queer night, but don't mind that because because...there sent...because you can't drop a tiara without hitting a straight person. Besides, this is a Hallowe'en thing. Everyone will be there. We're going to get you a social life too if we have to drag you kicking and screaming. Get it? Drag."

A handful of customers came in then and I went off to my little corner table where I had the cards set up.

Walsh-:"Does he actually like her?"

Me-:"What? Who?"

Walsh-:"The new lead stupid. You said you chickened out of what you wanted to write."

Me-:"Oh that. Um...if I tell you, you won't read it. Dude."  I started wondering what might be going on in my cousin's life if he's back reading my stuff?  Last I heard, everything in his life was fine.  "You doing okay?"

Walsh-:"Yeah. Wife went to her sister's for the weekend for a wedding. Youngest is at soccer, oldest is staying at friends over night. By myself. You seriously not going to tell me? Not even a hint?"

Me-:"Nope."

Walsh-:"Okay, I'll bite. Why did you chicken out?"

Me-:"I don't know, just couldn't do it."

Walsh-:"Why?"

Me-:"I broke down crying when I wrote it. It hit a nerve that I didn't realize I had to deal with so I chickened out."

Walsh-:"Ah. You need to let go of your insecurity."

Me-:"Yeah yeah. I know I know, get over my crap and Mr. Right will finally arrive."

Walsh-:"Mr. Scratchy is there, just silent."

Me-:"I didn't say Mr. Scratchy, I said Mr. Right."

Walsh-:"Same thing."

Me-:"Actually, I don't think anymore that they are the same person."

Burp the night away

I was hanging out last night with Pussycat, talking about the way the city has become even more divided then it was when we were younger. Upon seeing a couple of hot university students jogging past us, Pussycat started to talk about how the men here have gotten better looking.

Me-:"That's because no one is from here anymore. They all come in for school."

Pussycat-:"Then leave. No one stays here. I would totally do that one." he was pointing at some guy who had pulled up at the street lights as we were crossing the street. I made a face, I know I did cause Pussycat got little offended. "What you don't think?"

Me-:"Not my type."  the guy had long hair tied up in a ponytail, wearing a camouflage shirt.

Pussycat-:"See this is your problem." he reached into his bag pulling out a jar of something pink taking a gulp as we continued walking. "You keep saying that you are open to love, to having the right man show up..." he took another gulp. "Yet it's on your terms. You need to just go with it, cause your sending mixed messages to the universe." and another large gulp of it before putting the now empty jar in his bag again.

Me-:"I know what I'm attracted to."

Pussycat-:"That's what I mean! You think you know, but can you really know? You're trying to control it and it just doesn't work that way." he burped. "Like this whole Germany thing. You still thinking about that?"

Me-:"Seemed like a good idea a month ago. Still be a year or more away."

Pussycat-:"Exactly. How do you know that you're suppose to go there? I mean..." he burped again. "If you were truly meant to go, wouldn't you have been able to get the whole thing in motion already? Wouldn't the universe have given you hints and a big wad of money or a free trip or something by now?" we crossed another set of lights. "Take Vegas for instance. You said you keep seeing ads for it, and Janny is going..."

Me-:"What about it?"

Pussycat-:"Maybe the universe is telling you to go there." he elbowed me burping again. "I would love to go. A friend of mine's mom works at that one travel place if I had my passport..." he snapped his fingers almost smashing into my nose. He did smack into my shoulder.

Me-:"I have zero interest in Vegas."

Pussycat-:"You're not listening! Girl! I'm telling you that you have to let go of your expectations. Mr. Right is waiting for you to get off your wishlist doll and just embrace it. Like in Practical Magic, you know how the aunts warn the chick to be careful what she wishes for and then later on when the husband dies they admit to having done the spell with molasses." he began opening his arms and actually quoting the lines from it. And sort of swaying. Whatever had been in the jar seemed to have kicked in. "Whatever. The point is, you don't know. You don't know who you're meant to be attracted to. Right? What if you're just binding yourself with molasses to the wrong man? What if you're suppose to plan a trip to Vegas and then get detoured to...I don't know some other of the lower parts of the world cause Mr. Right is somewhere else? He could be sitting in a cardboard box in India right now doll, and you'll never know because you are too stuck on your wishlist of he has to have this and dress like this and..." another heavy burp with him covering his mouth taking a deep breath. "I'm not feeling the best now."

Me-:"That's because you drank too much of whatever that goop was."

Pussycat-:"Stop judging. I think you should go with Janny."

Me-:"She hasn't invited me. I can't go somewhere I haven't been invited to."  he made a tisk noise rolling his eyes at me.

Pussycat-:"Go alone."

Me-:"To the States?"

Pussycat-:"Really? You're fine with going alone to Germany and god knows where, but you're not good with crossing the border alone?"

Me-:"I'm afraid of Americans." I started to sing the David Bowie song then.

Pussycat-:"What if Mr. Right is American?"

Me-:"You just said he's in a cardboard box in India. Can't be both make up your mind sister."

Pussycat-:"Don't make me laugh, I'll puke." He took a couple of deep breaths straightening up and then did begin to laugh."I think it's a plan."

Me-:"You puking?"

Pussycat-:"Going to Vegas!"

Me-:"Deja vu. I don't want to."

Pussycat-:"You say that now, but few months from now you'll see." he started to burp again."I'm putting it out there to the universe."

Me-:"Fine, just leave me off your travel plans."

post it note October 9th 2016

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, Herman.  I will never understand why we celebrate it a month apart?

Anyways, I don't know if you caught today's section of the fairy tale or not, but I think I over thunk it. Got too wrapped up in my own fears of what people might think of it, undid a whole storyline I was going towards. Turned a great new leading man into the same old excuse to pull out the same old plotlines. Doubted myself, and chickened out of where I really wanted to take the story.
When I started writing the fairy tale, I knew beforehand what I wanted the personalities to be like of the main characters, had a plotline figured out. But this new hero, totally sideswiped me. Never saw him coming. Weird how that works Eh?  Few months ago, I was bored ready to throw in the towel on the whole thing, desperate for inspiration. Then one Sunday; turned on tv and there was the answer. My area got a new sports channel, with new wrestling shows and guys I've never heard of before. Wanna hear the really ironic of it...the one who has become the sidekick in the fairy tale, he was suppose to be the new leading man. Yeah, was all set, even introduced him first into the fairy tale. But, the one character who was actually suppose to come in for one part...well to put it simply, he stole the show.  Sideswiped!  Can't seem to figure out what the character wants? It's almost as if his personality is evolving as I write? Like I plot out the main key points of the fairy tale on day one of the writing week, and by post time, completely the opposite ends up on the page.
Like today, with me chickening out of where I was planning on taking the next few chapters. I let my fears of what my readers would think if I went with what my gut was telling me to write, get the better of me.
What the hell does that say about me? Damn Eh?, I finally create the "perfect man" and I resort to shifty tactics reducing him down to "questionable at best". Maybe this is why my Mr. Right, hasn't come through in real life yet? I have a difficult time believing a man when he is nice to me. And it shows screamingly in my writing. 

Anyways Mr. Scratchy, Herman dear, I imagine you checking in today, a bottle of bourbon beside you, those wire rimmed glasses on that I think you wear, no scratch that, I don't think it's bourbon today, I think you've got a cup of coffee beside you. In a cartoon character mug. Something you picked up in some dollar store somewhere. I imagine you in those black track pants, and grey hoodie shaking your head at me, unable to hide your grin.

I'm going to leave you with this thought; two episodes from season 2 of The Munsters, episodes 10 of the season (48 of the series) A Man for Marilyn, and 17 of the season (55 of the series) Just Another Pretty Face. 

as always smile, smirk and snarl.