Dirty Laundry 37

"He's using a picture I took of him? How did he even get it? I don't even have any photos left from then."

Sister-:"Calm down. You're acting like a lunatic."

Me-:"Then why did you even tell me?"

Sister-:"I don't know!"

One of my sister's co-workers was going on about her new boyfriend who happens to be Wiccan. They met online, and she showed my sister his picture.  It was --- one of my ex-boyfriends. My sister called me, though not right away, she's known for about a week.

Sister-:"You haven't seen him or talked to him in like what, seven years? What's the big deal?"

Me-:"F***, I don't know."  Which is true, I have no idea what the big deal was. The more I think about it, the less it really matters.

Sister-:"Are you even trying to meet anyone?"

Me-:"Does it matter?"

Sister-:"You're turning into mom. And that's just not right. Go out, join a dating site..."

Me-:"Done those. They never worked for me..."

Sister-:"Isn't that how you met ----, -----, -----?"

Me-:"Exactly. None of them worked, they were all cheating slime balls. Not going to do that again."

Sister-:"Oh my god. Okay you know what, no, you need to get over it. You're boring. You never used to be this boring. And you're being a shithead. I saw Walsh at the kids football game the other day, and he's right you know, you've got to get over your whatever this stupidity is. Suck it up! You're not that old for god's sakes! Grow up!"

Me-:"Thanks for the pep talk."

She made a noise then that sounded like something a cat would make. "I'm never talking to you again."

Dirty Laundry 36

Was making dinner, when the phone buzzed. It was my cousin Walsh. "Are you home?"

Me-:"Yeah."

Walsh-:"I've been ringing your buzzer for five minutes."

Me-:"They still haven't fixed it."  I went out to the main lobby of the building and let him in. "What's up?"

He followed me back down the two long hallways to my apartment not saying anything. My cousin went from room to room checking the place out.  "You're still not unpacked?"

Me-:"I need to get some more book shelves, and stuff. Everything okay?"

He nodded opening and closing the cupboards in the kitchen. "Yeah. What were you going on about last night for? I caught up with the fairy tale and the piece you wrote last night was good."

Me-:"That short piece took me three hours to crank out. I'm hitting that wall again."

Walsh-:"You're over thinking it."

Me-:"Always. So, what's going on?"

He shrugged. "You said you needed to talk last night. So...did you?"

Me-:"And you are referring to?"

Walsh-:"I don't understand why you insist on being so stupid? Talk to him. That's what the internet is for, breaking down the whole famous thing."

Me-:"Well, with your theory, goes both ways. If a famous person wants to talk to their fans, specially if he's as you believe Mr. Scratchy, then he knows how to get a hold of me."

Walsh-:"You believe it too."

Me-:"Tell you what. I'll give him till the next ppv. Then...I give up completely."

He looked at me sideways as he reached for his cigarettes. "Can I smoke here or is this a non-smoking building?"

Me-:"You can smoke in the apartment."

He nodded lighting his cigarette, leaning back against the sink. "You'll give up as in take my advice or give up-give up?"

Me-:"I will find a way to find the real Mr. Scratchy. If he's still alive."

Walsh-:"Yeah, that didn't answer my question. And you know, you know Mad Hatter is the real Mr. Scratchy. You're just being a douche about it."  We heard a door slam and a male voice screaming about something, not in English. "Home sweet home."

Me-:"I think he's having an affair."

Walsh-:"Mr. Scratchy?"

Me-:"The dude in the hallway. I think he's cheating on his wife. She was out there all morning crying."

Walsh shrugged again butting out his cigarette in a candle holder I had sitting on the kitchen table. "Okay. Just stopped by to see what you had done with the new place. I have to go get my oldest, she's at a friend's place. Have you made any new friends?" he smiled at me, blushing like he does.

Me-:"I'm too old to make friends."

Walsh-:"Na, you're just too scared. Never too old." he ducked out the side door before I could say anything else.

The Desperate Housewife

I woke this morning to the sounds of a female voice in the hallway screaming. Peaking out through the peeper, I saw this young chick standing there banging on the door two doors down from me, in her nightgown, screaming at whomever was inside. The door opened a few minutes later and a male voice screamed something back. Not in English.
That was at 7am.

Decided to make myself a cup of coffee cause, wide awake by that, and grabbed the tarot cards. The sound of a door slamming again and the female voice talking rapidly again. Once again, not English. She's been in the hallway for the last three hours, crying, into her cell phone.

Twice the neighbours have come out and spoken to her. Once to ask if she was alright, and once to tell her to shut up she's disrupting things. She told the second guy she was locked out and waiting for the manager to bring a key. That was the only English she's spoken all morning.

Few minutes ago, I heard the door open and slam shut again, and fighting. Looking through the peeper again, I saw the man come out of the apartment dressed and telling her something, once again not in English and walk away.

She's been sitting on the floor of the hallway, still on the phone, still in her nightgown, still crying.

Dirty Laundry 35

I sent a message to my cousin Walsh. "I've lost it! Totally gone."

The phoned buzzed a few seconds later.  "What? Was this for me?"

Oh crap! I sent it not to my cousin but to my Naked Neighbour. His number was next to my cousin's.

Me-:"Sorry. No not for you. Sorry."

NN-:"No worries. How are you?"

Me-:"Good. You?"

NN-:"Not bad. Would be better if I had more beer. So what did you loose?"

Me-:"Uh...nothing."

I tried again sending the message to my cousin Walsh, double checking this time.

Walsh-:"????"

Me-:"My muse. Gone! Have you been reading the fairy tale lately? I don't know what I'm doing, it's turned to crap and I need to talk."

Walsh-:"No, haven't had a chance with work. I'll check later. How can your muse be gone? I thought you were totally inspired by Mad Hatter and them?"

Me-:"Was. Now...nothing. It's like dried dirt."

Walsh-:"Haha! That would be dust."

Me-:"Exactly."

Walsh-:"Well, maybe you just need to stop for awhile and write something else?"

Me-:"Why didn't I think of that? Oh right cause nothing is coming to me! At all. I tried that and got two sentences in an entire day. I can't go through writer's block again! Last time it was over two years with it and I can't..."

He went silent and I started flipping channels till I got to the Food Network. Just sort of zoned out and had a cup of tea, waiting. Writer's block has become an issue for me the way not having enough money to pay bills does for other people. It sends me into such a panic, and the longer I can't seem to break out of it, the more it weighs on me. 

Phone buzzed again with a message from Walsh. "I think you should talk to him."

Me-:"Don't start. Did you read it yet?"

Walsh-:"No, will later. Facebook, Twitter..."

Me-:"Shut up! That's creepy."

Walsh-:"It's what it's there for. For fans to stalk their heroes. Haha!"

Me-:"You're not helping. I need inspiration."

Walsh-:"That would inspire me, talking to my favourite wrestler."

Me-:"I'm not you."

Walsh-:"Coward."

Fine, I'm a coward, a big coward.  Big coward with writer's block.

3:54pm Aug 20th

Why is it you always bump into someone cute when you look like crap?  That is the unspoken rule isn't it?  Mom had a doctor's appointment this morning,  like early this morning. So here's me, barely rolled out of bed, looking like something you find on the bottom of your shoe, sitting in an overly packed waiting room with her, when the door to one of the exam rooms opens and the hottest guy this side of  Toronto walked out. 
Dark rimmed glasses, short sandy-brown hair, about 5 '10, a smile that would melt butter, and dimples. Couldn't have been more then about 26-27 years old.  Dressed in scrubs.

Oh my, he's a doctor! Well, it ended up he was an assistant, but clearly he's got the brains to go with that beauty.

I spotted him grab a chart, look around for his patient, and I couldn't think. Brain went numb. He looked at me sitting there in the doctor's waiting room, nodded, smiled and proceeded to call his next patient.

Brain still numb. I was caught staring at him. Watched him walk to the far side of the room to check if there was another free exam room, and he looked up, caught me looking at him and smiled again. Well that was more like a smirk, but you know what I mean.  I seriously don't know what was going through his mind, other then what a mess I must have looked.

He nodded and smiled again when he past me again going back to the original exam room with his patient. I felt flush, noticed even; in a good way. Might even say smug for about three seconds.
Then I noticed all the nurses come off their coffee break.  All of them not much more then about 23 years old, slim tiny stick figures, perfect hair, perfect skin. You know the types. And I slunk down in my seat suddenly feeling old and less then. I couldn't compete with girls like that when I was young, let alone now.

Anyways, sitting there with mom for almost two hours, just waiting when I went to ask how much longer.  The hot guy walked out of his exam room again and over to where I was standing, leaned on the desk, didn't talk to anyone, just stood there butt in the air, stood back up straight, picked up a file, put it back down, picked it up again played with the edge of it and put it back down. When the secretary at the desk asked what he was needing he said he didn't need anything. 

Cool part, none; none of the young stick figures were standing around.  You know that made me feel good.

Then it was my mom's turn to see the doctor and sadly, that was that. Smart men never looked that good when I was that age.

The Guard

There is this woman, I'd say about 23 years old, who every day between noon and 1pm stands outside. She doesn't talk to anyone, doesn't acknowledge anyone when they pass her and say hi, just stands there having a smoke. Every day, for an hour.
She isn't connected to the managers or to housecleaning, so it's not like she's on her lunch break. She lives somewhere in the building, as I always see her holding keys. But it's a bit creepy. The way she seems to be guarding the building or something.

This building, it's like living in a new town, not just a new neighbourhood.

Randomness Aug 18th

Sitting here listening to the crows outside the window, wondering how I'm going to connect the next few pieces of the fairy tale. I suddenly hear this scratching noise, massively loud, and start heading towards where it is. The kitchen. Start opening cupboards, nothing. Thank god! Still hearing it. It's coming from the front door. Look through the peeper but there isn't anyone. The noise is still happening, and louder. Dare to open the door and find, someone's dog on a broken leash in the hallway.

This little kid comes running down the hall with the other half of the broken leash in his hand, and something that I think is jello smeared on his face. Might have been jam, or lolli? Who knows. He stops, tucks himself next to the wall all shy and quickly runs over to grab the broken leash.  Only the dog runs from him thinking it's a game.  Dog runs down the hall barely clearing the corner as he does, runs back, runs down the hall around the corner again. The whole time the little boy looks like he's going to cry.

He starts to run after him then stop, turns and does that open hand-closed hand wave kids do. Then back down the hall and disappears around the corner.

And now, the heavy scent of peanut butter and fried food seems to be coming from somewhere in the hallway as I close the door and go back into my place.

And I still have no clue how to piece together the next part of the fairy tale?