Randomness Aug 18th

Sitting here listening to the crows outside the window, wondering how I'm going to connect the next few pieces of the fairy tale. I suddenly hear this scratching noise, massively loud, and start heading towards where it is. The kitchen. Start opening cupboards, nothing. Thank god! Still hearing it. It's coming from the front door. Look through the peeper but there isn't anyone. The noise is still happening, and louder. Dare to open the door and find, someone's dog on a broken leash in the hallway.

This little kid comes running down the hall with the other half of the broken leash in his hand, and something that I think is jello smeared on his face. Might have been jam, or lolli? Who knows. He stops, tucks himself next to the wall all shy and quickly runs over to grab the broken leash.  Only the dog runs from him thinking it's a game.  Dog runs down the hall barely clearing the corner as he does, runs back, runs down the hall around the corner again. The whole time the little boy looks like he's going to cry.

He starts to run after him then stop, turns and does that open hand-closed hand wave kids do. Then back down the hall and disappears around the corner.

And now, the heavy scent of peanut butter and fried food seems to be coming from somewhere in the hallway as I close the door and go back into my place.

And I still have no clue how to piece together the next part of the fairy tale?

Post it note 16th Aug

Dear Herman:

Saw the show last night, Mad Hatter will never heal if he doesn't take a few weeks off.

Anyways, Mr. Scratchy, the Knight of Cups keeps popping up. I think that's suppose to be you. Every time lately that I use the tarot, the same card appears. There is a message there somewhere.

I imagine you checking in today, sandwich hanging out of your mouth, a baseball cap on backwards, bit of mustard on your face from your sandwich, dressed in a plain t-shirt, maybe a faded grey one, and shorts.  And you're thinking that I was right, Mad Hatter should have picked a barbed wire match for tomorrow's ppv.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Sign here

There was a knock at the door a half hour ago. Which, given it was not even 7:30am, was a bit unnerving. Checking the peeper (finally, not having to just take a chance when opening the door like at the old place) I saw two guys standing there with a clipboard.
I recognized the one guy as being the neighbour down the hall who helped me move in the first night, so I opened the door. (the very nice East Indian man my Naked Neighbour from the old apartment was catty about)

"We need you to sign here please...you don't have a dog do you?"  this was the other guy with him.

Me-:"No, no dog."

Second Guy-:"Very good. Please, sign this as we are trying to get the manager to remove the dog in that apartment."   he pointed to the nearest door on the right. "They never take their dog out at night and it poops everywhere."

I have to admit, I was a little shocked few days ago to find what looks like pee stains on the rug of the hallway when I went to check the mail.

First Guy-:"We're not trying to get all pets removed from the building, just that one."

I looked at it, saw there were four names already and wondered who do I want to anger more? The person with the dog or these other guys?

Me-:"I've only been here a few days, they haven't bothered me...yet, so I don't know if I really want to be part of this?"

Second Guy-:"There are twenty apartments on this floor, and we need all the other nineteen to sign for that one to be dealt with."

First Guy-:"We're going to be late for work."

Me-:"Sorry. Just don't think I..."

The door to the main street opened, and this guy came in with four little dogs. He didn't say anything, didn't look at anyone, just went on past with the dogs, and knocked on the door of the neighbour in question. We stood there like idiots just waiting.
The door opened and two more little dogs ran out into the hallway as this guy made his way into the apartment with the four leashed ones before calling for the two that were now in the hallway.  The one little fluffy white one peed on the wall by the maintenance room door.

Me-:"That's not all his right?"

Second Guy-:"No idea. I just know the two that came out of the apartment, he never takes them out."

Me-:"Wow! I can't believe I just saw that." 

I signed it.  If I hadn't of seen it happen right there in front of me, I wouldn't have, but there it was. Dog owner just not caring.  Starting to think I traded in one type of apartment hell for another.

post it note saturday aug 9th

Dear Herman:

How you doing today?  It's a melt where you sit day here with a +26C and +33C humidex.  I've said it before, I'm not designed for hot weather.

Thought I'd drop a note just cause I haven't written you one in awhile. 

I imagine you checking in today, chewing on some mint gum, having just gotten your hair cut, listening to a playlist that includes Pantera. Like from twenty years ago, like Cowboys from Hell, dressed in shorts...wait, unless you're one of those wrestlers who waxes/shaves his legs? Shorts if you are man enough to leave them hairy, jeans if you're one of those wrestlers who bows to trying to look tv pretty. And a yellow t-shirt. I like yellow shirts, I have no real idea why, just always have.

Okay Herman, that's all for now.

Smile, smirk and snarl.

Mr. Pebbles

"Hey I'm here!" tink tink tink. "Can you not hear me?" tink tink tink. "I can smell curry! Hello!"

This was what was happening outside my front window for the last few minutes. This guy, mid-50's, overly tanned to the point he looked like a burned hot dog, and dressed in a pair of shorts and a black hustler t-shirt, with a really bad porn-stache, was screaming up at the person/people who live right above me.
Same dude was here at 2am two nights ago doing the same thing. Chucking pebbles up at their window.

Honestly, I've only ever seen that done in movies and in real life by four year olds who didn't know better. I'd hate to see how big the rocks will get if Mr. Pebbles is ever angry.

Checking in

On my way in with an armful of groceries, when my phone buzzed. There was a message from my cousin Walsh. Haven't heard from him in a while, thought he was pissed off at me.

Walsh-:"How's it going? Any bad neighbours?"

Me-:"Spiffy. So far, nothing serious."

Walsh-:"You going to the BBQ?"

Me-:"Nope. No point, vegetarian besides...I don't want to see your sister."

Walsh-:"Okay. Did you see the show last night?"

Me-:"Yes. You?"

Walsh-:"Yeah. So taking bets on what your man is going to choose?"

Me-:"Barbed wire! I want it to be barbed wire!"

Walsh-:"I knew you were going to say that! Haha! Too dangerous. Ladders maybe?"

Me-:"Most likely. Wait, were we actually betting anything?"

Walsh-:"You want to?"

Me-:"Na. Let's just see which of us is right."

Walsh-:"So, you going to get the new website thing now that it's available in Canada?"

Me-:"Thinking about it. Depends on if it's actually offered here or not. I don't think we are even a city that gets that cable company...are we?"

Walsh-:"Don't know. Would be cool if we did. I know they bought out the phone company, so who knows for sure. But anyways, just thought I'd check in, see how you are doing. Dad said he helped you do some of the moving last week. Thought I'd check in, see if you have any crazy neighbours?"

Me-:"So far so good."

Return of the Naked Neighbour

I had asked my brother in law, if he could help put my futon together few days ago. He said no. Too busy. 
Okay, I can figure something out. Though I had no clue what. Then, as I was standing there dumping large bags of trash in the hallway so that I wouldn't trip over them while moving the rest of my stuff; it got figured out for me.

My across the hall neighbour came out of his apartment, grabbed the trash for me without saying anything and taking it out to the bins for me. When he came back into the building, I asked him for help.

Okay, first off, I have an issue asking for help in general if I'm not needing medical attention. Second, I didn't know him from a hole in the ground. We've maybe said "hi/bye/it's raining out" when bumping into each other coming or going over the whole time he's lived there. The biggest conversation to that point was the day I bumped into him like a month ago when I offered to sell the bass.

He said sure, not a problem. He'd help in exchange for the bass.

It took 6 hours over the course of two nights to get the thing together.  The instructions said "half hour assembly time".  Really? A short half hour, for who the Flash?
It might have taken less, like say 4 hours if it hadn't been for the fact my neighbour's cell phone kept binging every few minutes. He'd just joined a dating site and seemed very popular.

Me-:"I thought you were in a relationship?"

Neighbour-:"Was. We broke up...sort of. We've got a kid together, but the last year, totally unhappy so..." he shrugged as the phone binged again.

That would explain some of the flirting he was up to the other day.  After the second night and finally getting the futon to work, he just sat there. For like an hour, doing nothing but playing with the bass, badly. I had to kick him out, he just wouldn't leave.

Yes, there was a brief moment where I thought he might just be waiting for an invite to stay, but with all the comments he was making about some of the women on the dating site, I knew that wasn't where I wanted to be. Besides, he's still really hung up on his ex, plus he's got a kid.  Not my idea of fun.
But as he was leaving, two things happened. He commented on the fact that when he had first arrived, one of the new neighbours in my new building, a very nice East Indian guy, was helping me bring bags and boxes in so that I didn't block the front door too long. And, he told me anytime I needed anything, just call him.

Call.  Not text. Which for any man that I've ever known, is an oddity in itself. Other then relatives, I haven't had a man "call" in years. They always text. Seems to be a safety net for them or something.

So as I sit here now, in my new apartment, surrounded by half unpacked boxes and cardboard pieces; I'm wondering what's next? And why did my old neighbour seem a bit...catty?