Random Afternoon

The last 24hours have expressed a few interesting quirks.

One of which was coffee with my buddy the Musician.  We hung out for a few hours yesterday at the starbucks in the back of the grocery. 
Nearly everyone was working.  There was a small hiccup with Z. who did not seem to like the fact I was sitting with the Musician, but that's another blog post on another blog.

However, the afternoon was spent with Musician telling me about his latest dates.  The one he had Friday night seemed to go well, up to the point he realized the girl was not over her ex.  Then he ended it cold. He was also worried about the upcoming date he's got tonight. 

He made a comment to me about how the easiest thing on the planet for a woman is to be picked up. I have no idea where he has gotten this from other then movies.  I told him as much. 
His reply,  that I need to wear dresses more.  As if the holy grail of dating is locked up in a summer frock. 

This isn't the first time a guy has said to me that it's easier for a woman to date then men.  I'd like to know who's telling the men around here that because they are lying large.
If it were true, there would be no single people at all. 

What should I say?

Text came in around 9:30pm last night from my buddy the Musician. 
A second one came in around 10:15pm
He called at midnight.  All this because he wanted some advice on what to email this girl he saw on a dating site. 
I had him read me her profile and told him to pick out something that he figures no one else will even notice and use that as the start point. 
He then told me that things were not going well for his love life at all. 
Then he told me he's got two different dates lined up for the weekend.  He's sort of got this attitude that if he does not have at lest two dates per weekend he's failed.  

If this were an episode of Sex and the City then he'd be the Samantha character. There is a new girl every few days.

Random Monday Night

The email was familiar.    What is it that all the hot chicks in town are with ugly guys?
This was from my buddy the Musician.   He and I have had this conversation before few months ago.  I answered the email with the same remark that I'd given him that night we had gone for coffee.  
Same reason all the hot sexy men in this town are with ugly bitches.

Seems we were at an stalemate. Both of us were looking at all the couples in the coffee shop around us, in the parking lot when we left, and even walking down the street as we continued our conversation, both looking at it from our personal points of view and coming up with the same idea. 

So when this email came in, I did not have to wonder what had set it off.  I've learned the hard way this is a themed topic with all my single straight male friends over the years, and the Musician is feeling it the worse.

The answer to this nerve racking question would be either A) Settling or B) Real Love.

I'm a hopeless romantic so you know I'm all for answer B)

You don't want him

I was on my way to mom's, and as I passed the grocery, I saw that Doris was outside having a smoke. She's one of the ones who works the express check out. I stopped and chatted for a few minutes, and spotted Conrad coming into work.
Doris spotted me spotting him.

"Don't waste your time with him. You don't want him." she said as she lit her smoke.

"What's wrong with him? Is he married?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"Is he gay?"

"Don't think so." she took a very long drag on her cigarette trying not to blow the smoke in my face, but the wind had other ideas. All I can say is I was this close to asking for a cigarette.  and I don't smoke.  Is there such a thing as Second Hand Smoke Addiction?  If so, I think I might have that.

"Then what? Is he a total player?"

"Not that I am aware of.  No. Just I know you, and he's not who you want. You won't be happy if you started up with him."

"Okay. You lost me."  I actually started to think maybe she had her sights on him herself, or maybe that he'd said something to her about me or something. I was starting to feel like total crap, paranoia and everything. "Why, would you tell me not to go after him?"  seriously, I was starting to sneak glances at my reflection in the glass door of the grocery taking stock of myself.

" Oh come on!" she made a noise as she gestured nearly knocking me in the face. "He looks like The Celebrity. Don't go there. Just don't do that to yourself."

"You think he looks like The Celebrity?"  okay, yeah now that Doris said it out loud, Conrad does have the same height, hair colour, eye colour, nose, and yeah I can't lie, it's crossed my mind a few times. Body wise though, Conrad is thicker through the waist and smaller in the shoulders.

"Fine don't listen to me. You're going to do what you want anyway.  But Conrad's just..." she butted her cigarette and took out her cell phone checking for messages before finishing the small coffee beside her on the picnic table the staff use for their breaks. "I see the way you look at him. I think you're building yourself up for a big let down." Doris headed then back into the grocery.

Well isn't that a kicker. I've just basically been told I'm not good enough for the produce stock boy. Thanks. 

One step away

Starbucks Dude was once again hanging around the parking lot of the grocery with Radar when I went there today.  Haven't talked to him in awhile, and was surprised to see that Radar had cut his long greasy hair. 

"Has he called you yet?" Starbucks Dude asked lighting a cigarette.  I had no idea who he was talking about at first.  It took me a few minutes to realize he meant Mr. Scratchy. {Kitchen Omen that when the right side of your body itches your true love is thinking of you. Same with your shoe laces coming undone} For a brief second I thought he was meaning The Celebrity. I shook my head. 

"You would know if he had trust me on that."  
We talked a bit, then Radar said he'd read bits of my blog lately.  Um  not sure if that is a good thing or not. And that he had a theory on what is indeed the question of my love life.  I was all ears. 

"You are 100% sure it's not an ex boyfriend?"   I said I was sure. Any ex boyfriends would have come by the apartment if they were the one's thinking of me all the time.  Radar continued  "So you believe that it is someone connected with wrestling?"

"Yes. None of this was going on till I started to do the sports stuff."  I was amazed at how much better looking Radar was with short hair. 

"Probably a fan then. Maybe even a rival reporter? " he said lighting a cigarette of his own.

"Still doesn't make sense. If it's just another fan like myself, why not let me know who they are?"

"In a relationship would be my guess. Unless it IS a wrestler."  He sucked back the nicotine his eyes doing that smokers squint. 

"That's been my thoughts for months now." Starbucks Dude chipped in finishing his cigarette and gangling his keys in his hand. Up went the keys, catch, toss, catch, toss. "And if it is, then could be that the guy is feeling bit jealous cause you talk about The Celebrity all the time."   I agreed and pointed out that I have had this conversation before with a former friend and her husband.

"What if it's The Celebrity?" Radar giggled as he tossed his cigarette butt blowing smoke into the air. 

"Okay." I said feeling a slight excitement at the possibility. "Then why wouldn't he have contacted me by now? He's known about me for a few years already. Makes no sense."

"Ever thought that he's frightened? Not of you. But, of what you think of him? You've talked about him all the time so what if he feels he just can't measure up?" Starbucks Dude shrugged. "Or you know has a small dick. Unlike me." 

"Spare me the details on that one, I really do not need to know. "  This brought a blush to my very pale skin and another round of giggles from Radar.

"He's just a man."

"As everyone keeps pointing out to me. Okay so he's just a man. A very stubborn man. Besides, last I heard he was seeing someone."

"When was the last you heard?" Radar asked. 

"August. So last summer."  I couldn't look at Starbucks Dude, I was trying not to look at his pants now that the comment was floating around in my brain. It's one thing to have a dirty mind about your friends, it's very much another to have a dirty mind about them while they are standing beside you.

That was the end of that conversation, as Fanny walked over to talk to Starbucks Dude.  Fanny works at the bank next door to the grocery.   

He's perfect but he's not my type

Some of you know that I have been part of nearly every dating site out there.  And if you know this, then you know I've deleted or hidden in some cases, my profile on all of them in the last 6 months. (remember, some have that weird contract clause that says they can use your profile to advertise even if you delete so hiding when you want off the site sometimes is the better answer)
Surprisingly, this morning I got an email from one of the sites saying someone had decided they wanted to meet me.
Before you all get hyper hold your crickets, it just means I was added to their favourites list.  Though on that site I'm suppose to be in hidden mode, yet I've been added to the fav list a few times in the last couple of months.

So I get this one today, and I check the dude's profile out.  He's a former chef and a photographer by hobby, listens to jazz, seems to have a wicked sense of humour by the way he writes, and is a big reader.

So what's the issue you are thinking?  The issue was looks wise, I was totally turned off. 
But I do promise that if he actually takes the time to message me, I will chat with him. 

The Banker

Past few years, there has been one straight guy working at my local bank.
He's the guy you see if you are needing to get a loan.    Needless to say, I've never had a reason to talk to him.  I have however, bothered to check to see if there was a wedding ring on his hand.  There had been.

Recently, I was out and bumped into him.   He didn't look well.  He was also missing his wedding ring. 

He's a bit tall for my taste, as he's over 6 foot 2.  When I bumped into him, I almost did not recognize him, as he was in a sweater and jeans instead of his usual 3piece suit.
He also looked as if he'd been sleeping under a truck. 

Why am I bothering to mention him?   Well, because not only did I catch him watching me, he followed me around the store for a few minutes. 
If he hadn't of gotten a call on his cell phone, I might have gotten asked out.   

The universe is cruel.