post it note Feb 14th 2016

Dear Herman:

I had stopped doing these because, well you've never answered. But, I've got an old Bon Jovi song stuck in my head all day "Never Say Goodbye". Thought it was strangely needing to be mentioned.

Anyways, so you can tell by the lack of anything on here in the last few months, there is nothing going on in my life. Nothing of interest anyways. My big mouth has got me locked into hobbies and challenges and projects that I've no real interest in. But people are holding me to them. My mouth gets me into trouble a lot. Though, must admit not like it used to. Insert crude joke right about here.

Okay Mr. Scratchy, I imagine you checking in tonight, dressed in plain dark jeans, a faded black t-shirt with a logo for the Ramones, hair freshly washed and cut for that matter, little wire rimmed glasses on, glass of whiskey beside you. I think you're stretched out on your bed, waiting. Waiting for your night to get started.

I'm going to go watch Downton Abbey

Exposed?

For the last while, I've been under the assumption that my neighbour- the desperate housewife- was having an affair with her female best friend. Every time her husband leaves for more than an hour, the best friend is over like a shot and many sexual noises can be heard through the wall.
So, assumption firmly established.

Little bit ago, there was shouting, doors slamming, and everyone suddenly in the hallway. There was the husband home early, and the desperate housewife's best friend being shoved in her underwear into the hall.
Assumption still firmly established by myself and the other two people who peeked out their doors at the noise.

Then more screaming as the husband threw their laptop into the hallway smashing it, before shoving the wife back into the apartment.

None of this was in English by the way, so I have no idea what was actually being said. Only, that it scared the hell out of me and the other two people who had peeked out their doors at the noise.

Sometimes it just doesn't pay to get online.

The Druid and the Pirate

I had gone to the occult store across town, met this semi-good looking guy hanging around there. And of course surprise surprise, he was gay. I swear, there isn't a straight male witch on this planet outside of movies. Anyways, the Druid and I were talking about rituals, and spell books. This is actually the second guy in a month I've met who is a druid. The first guy, I met while waiting in line at the bagel shop in the mall. He was straight but married. I swear my luck gets worse not better.

After leaving there, I headed to the comic store and I can't even tell you why? I literally spotted the sign for the place as I was walking down the street towards the bus, and just turned heading inside. I am not a comic person, so this was one of those gut reactions to go in there.
Anyways, this dude was standing at the far end of the place, dressed in leather pants, a black vest, black shirt and long trenchcoat, his hair jet black and more eyeliner then me. My first thought was he was either coming from a play or he's a massive fan of Once Upon a Time, cause he looked like the actor who plays Hook.  He started picking up random comics and commenting loudly about how the storylines in them sucked, and the problem with them these days is that there are too many crossover stories. 
I wandered through the store, just feeling...not even sure? Still don't know why I wandered in there to begin with? But the Pirate leaned over the bin of comics, raised an eyebrow at me asking if I agreed. I just gave a half smile and moved on. The salesman asked if there was anything he could help me with, and I said no as I spotted some old band shirts. And while I was standing there looking at some Megadeth and Kiss t-shirts, the Pirate decided to come over to where I was, walk a full circle around me, and then stood there just hovering. I still am not sure what to think of him? He was cute I'll give him that.

My mind tricked me

I was on my way to the grocery about an hour ago, staring at the construction workers, gazing dreamily into the window of the sandwich shop when I looked up to see this guy. My heart stopped for a half second as I nearly lost by breath.
There was this dude who was about 5 '8, half a mohawk-ish style slicked back, great arms walking a foot and a half ahead of me at warp speed through the parking lot.
Seriously, my brain shut down for the minute and a half as I continued to move on auto-pilot towards the store.  The guy kept looking over his shoulder like he was expecting to be raped or mugged or something.

I got into the store and walked past what I was looking for about five times before my mind cleared. Either I just saw the best look alike ever, or...The Celebrity is in town.

Never saw this dude straight on, so can't say if I've just lost my bleeding mind, or what?  I of course messaged my cousin Walsh asking him if there was any indie wrestling companies in town? Not to his knowledge.

Walsh-: "But...did you know that the Mexican Vampire is in town?"

Me-:"Yeah. He moved back like a year ago. Heard about it on the news...well mom heard about it on the news and told me."

Walsh-:"And you never told me!"

Me-:"Hey Walsh, guess what the Mexican Vampire moved back to town mom said she saw it on the news."

Walsh-:"Not funny. But if he's in town then it's totally possible that you saw The Celebrity."

Me-:"I would rather think it was a look alike. Hate to think I was literally two feet from my favourite wrestler, favourite famous person and..."

Walsh-:"And didn't faint at his feet. Haha!"

Me-:"Pretty much. What if it was him?"

Walsh-:"Then...I don't know? Anything is possible"

Me-:"Had to be a look alike, why would he be sprinting through the city? If it was some crazy off chance The Celebrity was here slumming in our crappy city, wouldn't he be driving?"

Walsh-:"Again, remember anything is possible."

Of course, be it him, look alike, or just a really hot dude; I was looking like the creature from the black lagoon today. Whenever I bother to do hair and make-up and such, the streets are empty like a ghost town. But when I barely run a comb through my hair, I am tripping over hot guys. Figures.

That is seriously all I'm going to be able to think about now. What if and why?

Here's the pattern

A guy messaged me on the dating site. Which I had once again lost faith in. Anyways, he messaged we chatted very briefly, and made plans for coffee. Only on the day of, he never messaged to confirm. Right, surprisingly, I was fine with it. He wasn't my type, and I only said yes, well because no one's asked in a long while.
A few days go by, and suddenly Mr. No Show, messages asking how I am. Tell him I'm fine, and then he asks if I want to try again. Tell him sure, and we set a semi-date.  Again, my gut tells me he isn't going to show, and again I'm fairly okay with it.
Right, he didn't. Then I get a message a few days after that telling me he's going to Vancouver till the new year for work. When he gets back he wants to try once more to have that coffee.
Fine whatever.   

This has been the base pattern for the last few years with me. A guy I'm not interested in, chats it up makes vague plans and cancels. The weird part is, I always know when the cancellation call/message is coming.

You've heard of the rebound, well I guess this makes me the practice run. And it never gets out the gate. Maybe that's why I'm not fully interested in the guy? Because I know he's not really interested in me?
Figuring out how to break this pattern is the hardest thing that seems to have crossed my path.

Then and now

Two days ago, I bumped into a guy I had gone to college with. Haven't seen him in 20 years, didn't even know he was still living in town.
He hasn't aged a day. His hair was shorter but otherwise, he looked just the same as he did back in 1995.

We just stared at each other. Silly, I know, but neither of us spoke. We both just kept looking at each other, turning away at first when the other caught us looking. Then, just stood there staring each other in the eye.  He was fifteen or so feet away from me in line at the post office.

In college, we had been drinking buddies. I had a total crush on him, but he was always dating someone else. Always a new chick every few weeks. 

I have no idea what it was that froze me in place, keeping me from actually saying hi?  Just staring at him like I was a silly teenager once again.  Yeah, totally kicking myself for not having the guts to do anything.

post it note Aug 4th 2015

Dear Herman:

I just wanted to come in and write you a little note.  It's been way too long since I have let myself believe in...well this I suppose. 
The other day, this 20something guy saw me walking down the street and opened a door for me. I wasn't even going into that building, I was headed to the building next to it, but it was just very cool and sweet and so not the kind of thing that happens to me. V-neck shirt and a bra really does do wonders eh?
Definitely the boost I needed that day.

Weird dream about The Celebrity; nothing interesting, nothing steamy sadly enough, just a dream about him cooking eggs. They were scrambled eggs. So weird, so out of place.  Maybe not so much, given the way I would tease him on my blog about food for those few years. So I suppose fitting.

Anyways Mr. Scratchy, I imagine you checking in tonight, drained of energy. I believe you're dressed in navy shorts, bare feet, a red baseball cap on backwards, and have a red twizzlers candy hanging out of your mouth. I think you've just made yourself a cup of tea, and are catching up with the last three parts of the fairy tale.

I hope I put a smirk on your lips tonight.

as always, smile smirk and snarl.