Everyone does things they are not that proud of.
Mine was a webcamming with an internet boyfriend. This was a few years back, and I ended up feeling like the worst piece of trash pretty much during it. Never mind how I viewed myself afterwards.
Why'd I do it?
I thought I could handle it. Thought I was this big brave bitch who was so open to anything.
In the end, I wasn't. I was a mess of embarrassment and that was pretty much the end of that budding relationship.
It got too weird talking to him after, I started to doubt myself, and where our relationship was going, if it was truly going anywhere?
So why am I admitting this at all?
The lesson I learned from this is that, my own comfort level. I know full well had it been with a different boyfriend, under different circumstances, I would have been totally cool with it. It was just the wrong guy.
So what brought it up now?
I had a few people who read this blog, tell me that I need a header for it, maybe some more photos in the articles, so I started to look through my files. What I found were a bunch of pictures I'd forgotten I'd taken, from few years back, some of them for a horror movie I was working on, some of them glamour style shots done when I was dating a photographer, and some of them were from that internet relationship.