Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The morning after part

Everyone does things they are not that proud of.

Mine was a webcamming with an internet boyfriend.  This was a few years back, and I ended up feeling like the worst piece of trash pretty much during it.  Never mind how I viewed myself afterwards.

Why'd I do it?
I thought I could handle it.  Thought I was this big brave bitch who was so open to anything. 
In the end, I wasn't.  I was a mess of embarrassment and that was pretty much the end of that budding relationship. 
It got too weird talking to him after, I started to doubt myself, and where our relationship was going, if it was truly going anywhere?

It wasn't.

So why am I admitting this at all?
The lesson I learned from this is that, my own comfort level. I know full well had it been with a different boyfriend, under different circumstances,  I would have been totally cool with it.  It was just the wrong guy.

So what brought it up now?
I had a few people who read this blog, tell me that I need a header for it, maybe some more photos in the articles, so I started to look through my files.   What I found were a bunch of pictures I'd forgotten I'd taken, from few years back, some of them for a horror movie I was working on, some of them glamour style shots done when I was dating a photographer, and some of them were from that internet relationship.

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