No matter what age you are, someone always has a crush on someone. That's what I've learned most in the last two and a half years.
Take tonight for instance. I was hanging out on one of the fan sites I like, and some of the female fans were talking about the Pack. They seem to be on everyone's hot list right now. There was just so much back and forth about those guys. Some of them favour the strong man of the group, some of them favour the high flyer of the group, some of them favour the wild one in the group. And one or two of the fans admitted they would run for pepper spray if the wild one ever came near them.
Do guys ever crush to this extent? Do you sit around over beers and talk about what it is about a woman that grabs your attention like this? I know some of my male friends over the years have talked to me in bits and fits about girls they have had crushes on, but they always keep it polite. None of them ever just let loose the way us girls seem to do.
It was weird. I've admitted many times that I don't even bother having female friends anymore because I've been betrayed too many times. So tonight, was just odd. I haven't talked like that with other women in years. And we were all ages tonight too, from 17 to 50.
The hardest part, was listening to a few of them who like the same guys I do. That hasn't been an issue in my life since high school. And that was 20 years ago.
But being a fan of someone is different then liking a guy you actually know. Or at lest it's suppose to be. There were moments during the chat when I kept thinking back to my last year in high school when my then friends and I would sit in the cafeteria and drool over the hot guys in class. Back then, I always encouraged my friends to go for the guy, no matter how much I liked him.
Tonight, at one point, they were talking about how hot the one member was, and in the back of my mind I was thinking, would the guy go for her? I mean, this was the 17 year old, talking like the one guy from the Pack was actually her's.
I was feeling like I did when I was in high school. Like I'd lost the race before it had even started. So what does that say about me? If I can't even take part in a metaphorical conversation about famous crushes, without feeling inadequate; how am I ever going to get back into the real dating world?
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