Thursday, November 29, 2012

Post it Nov 29th evening

Dear Herman:

I'm sitting here listening to a cd, and there was a line in one of the songs that goes "you can freak if you want to freak"  which, is how I've been feeling the past while.
Freaked out. 

I don't even know if you're still reading me or not, after my  post the other day, I can't blame you if you aren't.  But if you still are...

I think I figured out why you haven't bothered to come out of the shadows yet.  I'm a bitch.  And let's be honest, I'm not in a great a place right now for anyone.  Even if you did end up being/are The Celebrity. 
I had a series of total craziness and bad vibes today that all centered around blogs and emails. And now, I'm sitting here having to admit that way too much of my life in the last few years has centered around that.  Around the internet. 
To quote from Interview with a Vampire "life has no meaning anymore"

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. Immature but that's about it.  Okay a hothead and a total dreamer.
But, whether you're pissed at me or if something else is going on, I have no idea.  
And I'm flying blind here, on faith.  Faith that all my readers are still around somewhere. All seven of you.

But, this just proves a few things.  One of which its really really time to reinvent myself. I've been saying that for about six months now, and today just put the stamp on the envelope.

I'm sitting here now, and no matter how much I crank the music, all I can hear is PartyGirl downstairs with her friends.

The other thing it proves is that I'm just not ready to give up on my dreams.  I did a tarot reading last night, and the Knight of Cups came up. The particular deck has it listed as a Romeo in a Lizard suit
So Mr. Scratchy, is that you?  Has my imagination the last year or so of what you are like, been even sort of right or are you someone I never thought of?

I still think you're a wrestler.  And I still think you wear glasses, are a nerdy type artist and have a dog.  I still think you wear those pajama bottoms, that you still drink tea, and that you are either in university or even a professor.

I await the real you... when the time is right.

Until then... maybe you can just let me know if you know how The Other Guy's surgeries went after the year he had?

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