I was on my way home from the store, spotted this small crowd forming near the edge of the mall parking lot. Two cops talking to this couple. There had been a small accident.
The guy was totally embarrassed as the one cop was talking to him getting his statement, and laughing himself. Then the cop started to scream so that everyone in the parking lot could hear.
"You were not drunk?" the guy shook his head. "You were not having a heart attack?" the guy shook his head and was ten shades of red. "You were simply, distracted but you were not texting or using your cell phone?" the guy was staring at the ground at this point. "And you didn't see the other car pulling out of the parking spot behind you because..." the cop turned to the chick who was holding her face in her hands leaning on the car. "...because your wife was giving you a blow job. Is that correct?" the guy said nothing just stood there. Both cops were laughing hysterically, the one who had been screaming for the crowd then leaned on the cop car unable to catch his breath. The crowd by this point was snickering and out right making jokes. The cop in charge then gave the couple a ticket. "I have to write you up for reckless endangerment. I'll give you a break and write you up for unlawful cellphone use."
At the time, everyone thought it was funny. I laughed. But, in all seriousness, something worse could have happened.
Dude, I'm all for spontaneous moments but really now. If you're going to have sex in a car, make sure it's not while you are driving.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Tidbits July 30th 2013
Last night, Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico- started talking to me again on the social site. Right back with the flirting like nothing had happened. Then he complained because there wasn't anyone else for him to chat with.
I tried to get some writing done, so I wasn't really in the mood to chat. Didn't stop him. And he's dialed it up a few notches with the flirting. It's like the word no is not in vocab or something?
Speaking of writing. The fairy tale, is driving me nuts. I'm close to wrapping up most of the story plots, just have to get a handle on the character based on Dimmer. So of course, Dimmer is all I have been able to think about since last night.
Which by the way, I managed to catch last night's wrestling, and Dimmer looked good. Really good. Which is bad, for me it's bad.
I need to wrap up that fairy tale, it's way way off course.
Nobody wants to feel like they are the commercial break, everyone wants to feel like they are the main attraction. I'm really feeling like the little cartoon of dancing hot dogs and popcorn that would be played out of focus to an empty cinema between double features.
I tried to get some writing done, so I wasn't really in the mood to chat. Didn't stop him. And he's dialed it up a few notches with the flirting. It's like the word no is not in vocab or something?
Speaking of writing. The fairy tale, is driving me nuts. I'm close to wrapping up most of the story plots, just have to get a handle on the character based on Dimmer. So of course, Dimmer is all I have been able to think about since last night.
Which by the way, I managed to catch last night's wrestling, and Dimmer looked good. Really good. Which is bad, for me it's bad.
I need to wrap up that fairy tale, it's way way off course.
Nobody wants to feel like they are the commercial break, everyone wants to feel like they are the main attraction. I'm really feeling like the little cartoon of dancing hot dogs and popcorn that would be played out of focus to an empty cinema between double features.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Post-it note 28th July 2013
Herman, Mr. Scratchy.
How has your night been going? The weather has turned cold here to the point it feels like October.
I imagine you checking in tonight, draining the drudges of your tea cup as you do, literally looking over the edge of it at the screen. I think you're sitting there in your pajama bottoms, and a faded t-shirt. I imagine you to be exhausted from work. I also imagine you've got a takeaway order of nachos beside you for dinner. The green onions and salsa sticking out of the cold cheese.
Yeah, I'm weird like that.
I also imagine you tonight to be snarling at me right now. I always try to have something for you when you check in. And the last while, I've been just not in the groove. I'm all about the fairy tale right now. I can admit it, Rebel without a Cause has my brains at the moment. Or at lest the character based on him does. I bet he's fun to have coffee with...
Smile Herman, what have you got to loose?
How has your night been going? The weather has turned cold here to the point it feels like October.
I imagine you checking in tonight, draining the drudges of your tea cup as you do, literally looking over the edge of it at the screen. I think you're sitting there in your pajama bottoms, and a faded t-shirt. I imagine you to be exhausted from work. I also imagine you've got a takeaway order of nachos beside you for dinner. The green onions and salsa sticking out of the cold cheese.
Yeah, I'm weird like that.
I also imagine you tonight to be snarling at me right now. I always try to have something for you when you check in. And the last while, I've been just not in the groove. I'm all about the fairy tale right now. I can admit it, Rebel without a Cause has my brains at the moment. Or at lest the character based on him does. I bet he's fun to have coffee with...
Smile Herman, what have you got to loose?
Friday, July 26, 2013
Friday, July 26th continued
I got a message from Walsh, asking me if I was alive? Funny.
Walsh-:"So are you home or you at auntie's?"
Me-:"Home."
Walsh-:"So no wrestling then?"
Me-:"No. Catch it tomorrow. What's up?"
Walsh-:"Did you do anymore on the fairy tale?"
Me-:"Plenty. Sort of screwed it up, and have to figure out how to fix it now. But it's cool, one of the things I'm liking about writing this way. No re-writes when it's online. Like the way they used to write serials back in the day in newspapers. No doing six drafts to add characters or change plot lines, once the post is up that's it it's there man."
Walsh-:"Hang on, going to go read." about a half hour went by then he messaged me again. "Cool. What's going on with your chat buddy?"
Me-:"Told him wasn't interested. He hasn't talked to me since. Totally ignoring me."
Walsh-:"You broke his heart."
Me-:"Oh please!"
Walsh-:"You did, just admit it. You crushed him like a bug. I'm glad I'm not you."
Me-:"Thanks."
Walsh-:"Just saying, no one likes to have their heart broken. Better break it now then when Mad Hatter comes."
Me-:"You're the one who was pushing me to get in with Male Friend #1. And there is still no solid proof that Mad Hatter is Mr. Scratchy!"
Walsh-:"Haha! There is you just won't admit it."
Me-:"I'm done whatever. Then why did he never contact me when he was in the indie companies?"
Walsh-:"Thought you just said you were done? Haha!"
Me-:"Done. Very done. Just think about it, think about it. I've said it before, the whole situation has been going on since late 2008 early 2009, so what's stopped Mr. Scratchy from contacting me? It's why I just can't wrap my head around it."
Walsh-:"Maybe he's shy?"
Me-:"And maybe you'll grow wings and fly away."
Walsh-:"So are you home or you at auntie's?"
Me-:"Home."
Walsh-:"So no wrestling then?"
Me-:"No. Catch it tomorrow. What's up?"
Walsh-:"Did you do anymore on the fairy tale?"
Me-:"Plenty. Sort of screwed it up, and have to figure out how to fix it now. But it's cool, one of the things I'm liking about writing this way. No re-writes when it's online. Like the way they used to write serials back in the day in newspapers. No doing six drafts to add characters or change plot lines, once the post is up that's it it's there man."
Walsh-:"Hang on, going to go read." about a half hour went by then he messaged me again. "Cool. What's going on with your chat buddy?"
Me-:"Told him wasn't interested. He hasn't talked to me since. Totally ignoring me."
Walsh-:"You broke his heart."
Me-:"Oh please!"
Walsh-:"You did, just admit it. You crushed him like a bug. I'm glad I'm not you."
Me-:"Thanks."
Walsh-:"Just saying, no one likes to have their heart broken. Better break it now then when Mad Hatter comes."
Me-:"You're the one who was pushing me to get in with Male Friend #1. And there is still no solid proof that Mad Hatter is Mr. Scratchy!"
Walsh-:"Haha! There is you just won't admit it."
Me-:"I'm done whatever. Then why did he never contact me when he was in the indie companies?"
Walsh-:"Thought you just said you were done? Haha!"
Me-:"Done. Very done. Just think about it, think about it. I've said it before, the whole situation has been going on since late 2008 early 2009, so what's stopped Mr. Scratchy from contacting me? It's why I just can't wrap my head around it."
Walsh-:"Maybe he's shy?"
Me-:"And maybe you'll grow wings and fly away."
July 26th 2013
Was at the mall. Bumped into one of my female cousins who I haven't seen in about a year, and we chatted for a bit while she waited for her niece who was getting a hair cut. We were standing outside of one of the new remodeled clothing stores that just moved into the mall.
Cousin-:"What happened to Urban Behavouir?"
Me-:"Wasn't it Urban Outfitters?"
Cousin-:"Was it? No, was it?"
Me-:"No. Maybe your right. I know we had both stores, one in the mall, the other across the street from the hardware store. Either way, the one here is gone now."
We seriously have nothing in common but our dna. It was awkward, but nice. Her and I haven't kept in touch since our grandmother died which was 14 years ago. We bump into each other rarely. I went and did my shopping, and decided a Starbucks was in order.
So I'm standing there in line, and the chick making the coffee had her arms full of tattoos. We started talking, comparing notes on tattoo artists here in town and prices. I've been wanting to expand mine for the last year, but the artist who originally did mine moved away and I need to find a new one. So I got my coffee, and took the nearest table.
Suddenly I see the hot gay guy who was working the checkout part slide up to her talking, both giggling and blushing. I heard him say to her "go ask her, if you don't I'll do it for you." And they kept looking at me.
I got my bag, my coffee stood up and was starting to leave, when this guy who works at the sports store down the mall came in. I have been looking for an excuse to chat him up for months. But I didn't have a real reason to, just when I past him said "hi, haven't seen you in a while." as if were were old friends or something.
You never know what the day will bring you.
Cousin-:"What happened to Urban Behavouir?"
Me-:"Wasn't it Urban Outfitters?"
Cousin-:"Was it? No, was it?"
Me-:"No. Maybe your right. I know we had both stores, one in the mall, the other across the street from the hardware store. Either way, the one here is gone now."
We seriously have nothing in common but our dna. It was awkward, but nice. Her and I haven't kept in touch since our grandmother died which was 14 years ago. We bump into each other rarely. I went and did my shopping, and decided a Starbucks was in order.
So I'm standing there in line, and the chick making the coffee had her arms full of tattoos. We started talking, comparing notes on tattoo artists here in town and prices. I've been wanting to expand mine for the last year, but the artist who originally did mine moved away and I need to find a new one. So I got my coffee, and took the nearest table.
Suddenly I see the hot gay guy who was working the checkout part slide up to her talking, both giggling and blushing. I heard him say to her "go ask her, if you don't I'll do it for you." And they kept looking at me.
I got my bag, my coffee stood up and was starting to leave, when this guy who works at the sports store down the mall came in. I have been looking for an excuse to chat him up for months. But I didn't have a real reason to, just when I past him said "hi, haven't seen you in a while." as if were were old friends or something.
You never know what the day will bring you.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Post it note 23rd July
Mr. Scratchy, Herman.
How was your day?
I caught up with last night's wrestling, and tell Dimmer that the outfit didn't shine like I'm sure he thought it should. Sure it must have looked fabulous in real life, but on tv, it was a miss. The pants just were too...well too much. And I miss the grey. Grey is the new black.
Unless you are Dimmer, in which case... speaking of last night's wrestling, tell Mad Hatter I noticed the haircut. Unless you're Mad Hatter in which case...
I think I've lost total ability to write horror stories. My fairy tale has a mind of it's own and seems to want to go the way of romance novels. There was a time when blood and guts and ghosts were all I wrote. Not so much anymore. I feel that if I let it go romance I'm letting everyone down who's been reading it this far.
I imagine you checking in to this tonight, hanging around your hotel room in your underwear, having just come in from the gym. You've got a cup of tea in hand as usual for your nightly routine. I imagine you pushing up those wire rimmed glasses I think you wear, having checked messages just before checking here.
I think you've had a wonderful day, and have a smirk on your pale lips.
As always Herman, I hope I brought a smile to your night.
How was your day?
I caught up with last night's wrestling, and tell Dimmer that the outfit didn't shine like I'm sure he thought it should. Sure it must have looked fabulous in real life, but on tv, it was a miss. The pants just were too...well too much. And I miss the grey. Grey is the new black.
Unless you are Dimmer, in which case... speaking of last night's wrestling, tell Mad Hatter I noticed the haircut. Unless you're Mad Hatter in which case...
I think I've lost total ability to write horror stories. My fairy tale has a mind of it's own and seems to want to go the way of romance novels. There was a time when blood and guts and ghosts were all I wrote. Not so much anymore. I feel that if I let it go romance I'm letting everyone down who's been reading it this far.
I imagine you checking in to this tonight, hanging around your hotel room in your underwear, having just come in from the gym. You've got a cup of tea in hand as usual for your nightly routine. I imagine you pushing up those wire rimmed glasses I think you wear, having checked messages just before checking here.
I think you've had a wonderful day, and have a smirk on your pale lips.
As always Herman, I hope I brought a smile to your night.
now i've done it
Do you ever have one of those days where nothing you say is the right thing to anyone?
Yeah, it's been like that the last 24 hours.
From angry wrestling fans who are so devoted to their heroes it makes me look like the silent type, to crushes gone bad.
I pissed off an angry 15 year old girl in the main wrestling chat because I defended the PG-era, when she wants more sex on the show. I expect death threats any moment.
And Male Friend #1- the kid from Mexico- I told him I wasn't interested. Now he's not talking to me either. Yay me. One conversation and I'm in the dog house with my chat buddies.
You know, I can sit here and say everyone is over reacting, and on some level I'm sure it's true. But, at the same time, I knew I was pushing buttons and I did it anyways.
I mean the wrestling chat with the 15 year old.
Male Friend #1 on the other hand... I didn't know what else to do. I actually started to wonder if he'd developed this crush on me because he's looking for the easy way out?
It's what I do. Why I put so much energy into talking about wrestlers. At lest, that's how it started. There few years ago, I was so hurt, so twisted from countless bad break ups and just rotten relationships, that I started to put that energy into my internet wrestling crushes. Cause it was safe. No one gets hurt. They're famous, it's part of their job description.
Seems logical. I seemed like the easy way out for Male Friend #1. Then someone mentioned the Canadian factor and that really got me wondering what is really going on here? Is Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico- just looking for an easy answer to a Canadian citizenship?
Either way, I've pissed everyone off. Starting to think it's the only real talent I have anymore.
Yeah, it's been like that the last 24 hours.
From angry wrestling fans who are so devoted to their heroes it makes me look like the silent type, to crushes gone bad.
I pissed off an angry 15 year old girl in the main wrestling chat because I defended the PG-era, when she wants more sex on the show. I expect death threats any moment.
And Male Friend #1- the kid from Mexico- I told him I wasn't interested. Now he's not talking to me either. Yay me. One conversation and I'm in the dog house with my chat buddies.
You know, I can sit here and say everyone is over reacting, and on some level I'm sure it's true. But, at the same time, I knew I was pushing buttons and I did it anyways.
I mean the wrestling chat with the 15 year old.
Male Friend #1 on the other hand... I didn't know what else to do. I actually started to wonder if he'd developed this crush on me because he's looking for the easy way out?
It's what I do. Why I put so much energy into talking about wrestlers. At lest, that's how it started. There few years ago, I was so hurt, so twisted from countless bad break ups and just rotten relationships, that I started to put that energy into my internet wrestling crushes. Cause it was safe. No one gets hurt. They're famous, it's part of their job description.
Seems logical. I seemed like the easy way out for Male Friend #1. Then someone mentioned the Canadian factor and that really got me wondering what is really going on here? Is Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico- just looking for an easy answer to a Canadian citizenship?
Either way, I've pissed everyone off. Starting to think it's the only real talent I have anymore.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Random Tidbit July 22nd
Was at the grocery today, and the goat milk dude was working. He walked out of the back room, nearly ran into me, then when he spotted me did a double take.
Is that good or bad?
And on the social site, Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico- he asked me out again. Okay this is just odd. I'm in Canada, he's in Mexico and he keeps saying he wants to have dinner some time. I know he's planning a trip to Toronto, but I have told him a dozen times I don't live anywhere near there.
When I commented on the fact he might not like me in real life, his reply was that he doesn't go for looks he goes for personality.
Isn't that what all of us want? Someone who can get beyond the shell?
And as wonderful as that would be, I have a difficult time believing any man can really see past the cover story to the article.
Is that good or bad?
And on the social site, Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico- he asked me out again. Okay this is just odd. I'm in Canada, he's in Mexico and he keeps saying he wants to have dinner some time. I know he's planning a trip to Toronto, but I have told him a dozen times I don't live anywhere near there.
When I commented on the fact he might not like me in real life, his reply was that he doesn't go for looks he goes for personality.
Isn't that what all of us want? Someone who can get beyond the shell?
And as wonderful as that would be, I have a difficult time believing any man can really see past the cover story to the article.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Friday Tidbits
Everyone wants Dimmer.
The guy must be feeling the love, seriously. I'm hanging out on the social site, chatting with the gang, which now consists of six women, Male Friend #1- the kid from Mexico- and our new gay man. The topic, Dimmer got slapped.
I caught the recap on the website. And what was the general response from five of the women and the gay man? They all at the same time said they'd kiss it better.
Cliched. Cliched. But what an inviting idea.
The more air time Dimmer is given for his spotlight, the hotter a topic he's become.
And the things I wonder about are if the wrestlers are able to handle the amount of fame they suddenly get thrown at them? And can they handle loosing it if they ever get shoved into the dust? What does that do to a person? Being the center of something like that and suddenly just not?
Well Dimmer, I hope you're one of the ones who can both handle it and keep it rolling for years to come.
In the mean time, sweetie, you need to not wear so many layers of clothes under those hot lights because you had really bad pit stains. Just saying.
The guy must be feeling the love, seriously. I'm hanging out on the social site, chatting with the gang, which now consists of six women, Male Friend #1- the kid from Mexico- and our new gay man. The topic, Dimmer got slapped.
I caught the recap on the website. And what was the general response from five of the women and the gay man? They all at the same time said they'd kiss it better.
Cliched. Cliched. But what an inviting idea.
The more air time Dimmer is given for his spotlight, the hotter a topic he's become.
And the things I wonder about are if the wrestlers are able to handle the amount of fame they suddenly get thrown at them? And can they handle loosing it if they ever get shoved into the dust? What does that do to a person? Being the center of something like that and suddenly just not?
Well Dimmer, I hope you're one of the ones who can both handle it and keep it rolling for years to come.
In the mean time, sweetie, you need to not wear so many layers of clothes under those hot lights because you had really bad pit stains. Just saying.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Dirty Laundry 30
"Are you okay?" Tarot Lady asked me when I was coming in to mom's.
Me-:"No. I am working on a project that no one cares about, I'm writing a novel that might never see the light of day, I'm having a difficult time on my short story cause it's taken on a life of it's own, everyone I have been talking to is excited about a comic convention and none of them can believe I've never been to one in my life cause I'm like the nerd of the gang, there is one friend on the social site who is upset because the men she's been talking to have all bailed on her because they all found out she was only 15 years old and for some reason she believes that one of them is only talking to me to make her jealous, and I've got my period. So no, I'm not fine. And I'm craving salt."
The look on her face was priceless because no one ever really expects you to tell them the truth when they ask you how you are. You get the truth with me, so always be sure you want to know before you ask out of politeness.
Tarot Lady-:"That would explain the dark energy around your head." she said pointing to my ear. "But I was doing a reading last night, and I kept turning up the High Priestess and right away I knew it was about you. Then I felt something will happen around October for you, something you really want in life."
Me-:"No idea what that might be."
Tarot Lady-:"It's something important." she made a noise going to check her mail then turned to me. "Say, wasn't there a Johnathan? Didn't Timothy say he saw the name Johnathan in your cards?"
You know that cosmic joke raised it's head again.
Me-:"Uh huh."
She waited for me to say something more. "Well, okay then. It's time for my show. I bet that is what it is that I'm seeing, this Johnathan coming into your life in October." she shook her finger at me like she was scolding me then went upstairs to her apartment.
Me-:"No. I am working on a project that no one cares about, I'm writing a novel that might never see the light of day, I'm having a difficult time on my short story cause it's taken on a life of it's own, everyone I have been talking to is excited about a comic convention and none of them can believe I've never been to one in my life cause I'm like the nerd of the gang, there is one friend on the social site who is upset because the men she's been talking to have all bailed on her because they all found out she was only 15 years old and for some reason she believes that one of them is only talking to me to make her jealous, and I've got my period. So no, I'm not fine. And I'm craving salt."
The look on her face was priceless because no one ever really expects you to tell them the truth when they ask you how you are. You get the truth with me, so always be sure you want to know before you ask out of politeness.
Tarot Lady-:"That would explain the dark energy around your head." she said pointing to my ear. "But I was doing a reading last night, and I kept turning up the High Priestess and right away I knew it was about you. Then I felt something will happen around October for you, something you really want in life."
Me-:"No idea what that might be."
Tarot Lady-:"It's something important." she made a noise going to check her mail then turned to me. "Say, wasn't there a Johnathan? Didn't Timothy say he saw the name Johnathan in your cards?"
You know that cosmic joke raised it's head again.
Me-:"Uh huh."
She waited for me to say something more. "Well, okay then. It's time for my show. I bet that is what it is that I'm seeing, this Johnathan coming into your life in October." she shook her finger at me like she was scolding me then went upstairs to her apartment.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Ah-man!
Hiding out at mom's. So to speak. She has air conditioning, I do not.
Mom was talking with sister about going to see a musical at the local theater. Sister screwed up her nose to it, said she refused to see anything that Sophia the Wannabe Socialite is in.
Me-:"She back in town? Thought she moved to Toronto?"
Mom-:"She's back for this play. Thought it would be nice."
Me-:"Why man?"
Sister-:"I don't want to talk about it. Don't want to think about it." she gestured with her hand in a dismissive motion. "She's gone crazy. Like crazy crazy."
Me-:"She was crazy before she left."
Mom-:"Yeah but she's really turned out crazy. It's the group she's with."
Sister-:"Doesn't know what she wants, who she wants to be, or what she wants to be you know. Depends on the group she's hooked in with."
Me-:"That's rough man. But, totally for the better. Your friendship ending. Better for you man."
Sister-:"Man. Man. Okay man." she leaned towards me with wide eyes laughing. "Have you been watching Hunter S. Thompson movies again...man?" she laughed.
Me-:"Reading actually. Totally man, don't take any guff from those rat bastards! Fiends, Swine!" I said in my best impression of Johnny Depp via Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Sister-:"I actually liked Bill Murray in Where the Buffalo Roam. One of his better ones."
Mom-:"Now you both lost me."
Me-:"You say that like it's a bad thing?"
Mom was talking with sister about going to see a musical at the local theater. Sister screwed up her nose to it, said she refused to see anything that Sophia the Wannabe Socialite is in.
Me-:"She back in town? Thought she moved to Toronto?"
Mom-:"She's back for this play. Thought it would be nice."
Me-:"Why man?"
Sister-:"I don't want to talk about it. Don't want to think about it." she gestured with her hand in a dismissive motion. "She's gone crazy. Like crazy crazy."
Me-:"She was crazy before she left."
Mom-:"Yeah but she's really turned out crazy. It's the group she's with."
Sister-:"Doesn't know what she wants, who she wants to be, or what she wants to be you know. Depends on the group she's hooked in with."
Me-:"That's rough man. But, totally for the better. Your friendship ending. Better for you man."
Sister-:"Man. Man. Okay man." she leaned towards me with wide eyes laughing. "Have you been watching Hunter S. Thompson movies again...man?" she laughed.
Me-:"Reading actually. Totally man, don't take any guff from those rat bastards! Fiends, Swine!" I said in my best impression of Johnny Depp via Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Sister-:"I actually liked Bill Murray in Where the Buffalo Roam. One of his better ones."
Mom-:"Now you both lost me."
Me-:"You say that like it's a bad thing?"
A post-it note for you
Mr. Scratchy, Herman. How was your evening?
The fairy tale, you're in it aren't you? I think you are. I was asked what I hope to accomplish by it, and my answer was for one wrestler to like it. Just one. Two would be fabulous, three beyond wicked. But one is good.
I've got nothing tonight. I just typed something like four times and deleted it, so that tells you how brain dead I am tonight.
Okay Herman, I imagine you checking in to this tonight, tired, and feeling...complicated. Yeah I have no idea why the word complicated jumped into my mind, but it did.
I think you're dressed in a pair of shorts, and having that usual cup of tea while you read me.
Risk it here... things were less complicated when I still believed you were The Celebrity. There is that word again, complicated.
Now complication is the only thing happening. For now anyways. The most likely possibilities are still Dimmer, Rebel without a Cause and Mad Hatter.
And somewhere, The Celebrity is reading all this laughing shaking his head thinking he should have gotten the recipe for banana bread few years back when I offered. There's a guy who I hope never looses his will to be weird.
The fairy tale, you're in it aren't you? I think you are. I was asked what I hope to accomplish by it, and my answer was for one wrestler to like it. Just one. Two would be fabulous, three beyond wicked. But one is good.
I've got nothing tonight. I just typed something like four times and deleted it, so that tells you how brain dead I am tonight.
Okay Herman, I imagine you checking in to this tonight, tired, and feeling...complicated. Yeah I have no idea why the word complicated jumped into my mind, but it did.
I think you're dressed in a pair of shorts, and having that usual cup of tea while you read me.
Risk it here... things were less complicated when I still believed you were The Celebrity. There is that word again, complicated.
Now complication is the only thing happening. For now anyways. The most likely possibilities are still Dimmer, Rebel without a Cause and Mad Hatter.
And somewhere, The Celebrity is reading all this laughing shaking his head thinking he should have gotten the recipe for banana bread few years back when I offered. There's a guy who I hope never looses his will to be weird.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Still a Monday
I got a message from Walsh with the usual. I let him know I was at mom's and still not talking to him.
Walsh-:"Read some more of the fairy tale. Um..."
Me-:"Still not talking to you. And what do you mean um?"
Walsh-:"Getting a bit too romance like. What did I do?"
Me-:"Ruined my reality by telling me stuff I didn't want to know."
Walsh-:"Not my fault."
Me-:"Yes it is. Totally your fault."
Walsh-:"So you are actually watching the show tonight?"
Me-:"Yes. Why?"
Walsh-:"Your boys went back to basics eh?"
Me-:"Always."
Walsh-:"Anything new with your chat buddy?"
Me-:"No, think he's gotten bored. He's flirting with a bunch."
Walsh-:"Still think you should just date him."
Walsh-:"Read some more of the fairy tale. Um..."
Me-:"Still not talking to you. And what do you mean um?"
Walsh-:"Getting a bit too romance like. What did I do?"
Me-:"Ruined my reality by telling me stuff I didn't want to know."
Walsh-:"Not my fault."
Me-:"Yes it is. Totally your fault."
Walsh-:"So you are actually watching the show tonight?"
Me-:"Yes. Why?"
Walsh-:"Your boys went back to basics eh?"
Me-:"Always."
Walsh-:"Anything new with your chat buddy?"
Me-:"No, think he's gotten bored. He's flirting with a bunch."
Walsh-:"Still think you should just date him."
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Sunday post-it note
Sunday. Wrestling ppv tonight. Decided after much debate that I'm going to order it.
Well, Mr. Scratchy, Herman, you might be wondering maybe where I've been this week? Writing mostly.
I imagine you checking in right now, having a cup of coffee, maybe reading the sports websites or something, sitting around in a pair of dirty jeans, getting ready for work.
I'm watching a movie that's set in the 70's, and there are real typewriters in it, and it makes me miss having a typewriter. I know I'm weird.
Well, Mr. Scratchy, Herman, you might be wondering maybe where I've been this week? Writing mostly.
I imagine you checking in right now, having a cup of coffee, maybe reading the sports websites or something, sitting around in a pair of dirty jeans, getting ready for work.
I'm watching a movie that's set in the 70's, and there are real typewriters in it, and it makes me miss having a typewriter. I know I'm weird.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Two for the price of half
6:25pm. Heard the downstairs neighbour stomp up the stairs and answer the front door to the building. Walls are paper thin around here. This is the guy who's wife left him for abuse.
Could hear the sound of a woman laughing. Bottles clanking.
I turned on my stereo to drown it out. Didn't work.
A few minutes later, heard the neighbour once again stomp up the stairs and answer the front door to the building. Hear a second female voice.
By 6:45pm, could hear an extremely loud female voice in the final seconds of an orgasm. And I say extremely loud, because I could hear it over my Sepultura cd. That's loud. Then heard water running in the pipes. The door slammed, high heels on the stairs and the front door to the building slam.
About a minute later, heard another loud female voice in the final seconds of an orgasm. Then once again, water running in the pipes, the door slammed, and someone running up the stairs and out the front door of the building.
It's 6:57pm. Just heard the neighbour answer the front door to the building again, and another female voice saying sorry she's late.
Oh my god. I think I might have to switch from Sepultura to Cradle of Filth. You can't hear anything over Cradle of Filth.
Could hear the sound of a woman laughing. Bottles clanking.
I turned on my stereo to drown it out. Didn't work.
A few minutes later, heard the neighbour once again stomp up the stairs and answer the front door to the building. Hear a second female voice.
By 6:45pm, could hear an extremely loud female voice in the final seconds of an orgasm. And I say extremely loud, because I could hear it over my Sepultura cd. That's loud. Then heard water running in the pipes. The door slammed, high heels on the stairs and the front door to the building slam.
About a minute later, heard another loud female voice in the final seconds of an orgasm. Then once again, water running in the pipes, the door slammed, and someone running up the stairs and out the front door of the building.
It's 6:57pm. Just heard the neighbour answer the front door to the building again, and another female voice saying sorry she's late.
Oh my god. I think I might have to switch from Sepultura to Cradle of Filth. You can't hear anything over Cradle of Filth.
Random 9/7/13
Sitting here, having a glass of wine. Merlot. Just got back from mom's where I was watching last night's wrestling.
Cool to see Dimmer is getting his on air push, and doing so in shades of grey.
Was at the grocery earlier, there's a shocker for ya eh? And one of the guys who works there stopped me by the dairy fridge and asked me if I was the lady looking for the goat milk? Very odd, given he asked me the same thing two weeks ago. I had already said no and was moving towards the check out when I realized, the dude was using it as an opening line. Way to talk to women there guy.
He was cute, I should have lied and said I was.
Cute. Odd word when you think about it. Ironically, means such different things to people. Cute, to me has always meant more of a innocent charm. I'm famous for saying "aw he's so cute." Which could mean the dude is funny as hell, or the type of guy you would expect to see as the latest heart throb on the cover of a teen magazine.
Cool to see Dimmer is getting his on air push, and doing so in shades of grey.
Was at the grocery earlier, there's a shocker for ya eh? And one of the guys who works there stopped me by the dairy fridge and asked me if I was the lady looking for the goat milk? Very odd, given he asked me the same thing two weeks ago. I had already said no and was moving towards the check out when I realized, the dude was using it as an opening line. Way to talk to women there guy.
He was cute, I should have lied and said I was.
Cute. Odd word when you think about it. Ironically, means such different things to people. Cute, to me has always meant more of a innocent charm. I'm famous for saying "aw he's so cute." Which could mean the dude is funny as hell, or the type of guy you would expect to see as the latest heart throb on the cover of a teen magazine.
Friday, July 5, 2013
But the photo is great
Walsh-:"You owe me seven dollars." He said as I opened the door.
Me-:"What for? We haven't had any bets lately."
He handed me a magazine. "I bought you a wrestling magazine."
Me-:"I don't read wrestling magazines."
Walsh-:"You need to read this one." he said flipping to a page and pointing to the article. "Interview with Mad Hatter and guess what he mentions...barbed wire."
I read the paragraph. "Okay." Walsh held out his hand. "I'm not paying you seven bucks for a magazine I never asked for, specially not for one paragraph's worth."
Walsh-:"Fine, then you can buy me a really expensive coffee." I had heard this morning from mom that Walsh's sister was sick again. So, I know he's in deep distraction mode. "So anything new with your little chat buddy?"
Me-:"Actually, yes. Well, sort of. More like a case of about him. This one chick on the social site, who I also talk to on the book site, we spent like two hours last night on the topic of Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico-. I thought she was going to confess her undying love for him, but ends up, she wanted to tell me that he's been telling her about me." my cousin laughed. "See, funny right."
Walsh-:"The kid's got a crush on you. Enjoy it."
Me-:"Easy for you to say. She showed me a bunch of chats and private emails they had, and he's got like twenty chicks after him but he keeps turning them down cause he said he's got and I quote feelings for me, end quote. That's not right. Not right man."
Walsh shrugged still laughing. "Enjoy it. Just go with it, harmless."
Me-:"Harmless you say."
Walsh-:"What's it going to hurt? Have an online fling with him."
Me-:"That's just it, I don't want an online fling. I want a real relationship, with the right guy. I want the next relationship to be the relationship."
Walsh-:"How do you know it won't be?" he shrugged again.
Me-:"Um, you of all people even say you think the right guy is going to be a Johnathan. He's not a Johnathan."
My cousin got a text from one of his buddies and answered it, then said he was off to a baseball game. He looked at me with this large grin on his face, his eyes sparkling. "Speaking of true love, has Mad Hatter..."
Me-:"For the 50,000th time, Mad Hatter is not Mr. Scratchy!"
Walsh-"...yes he is." he put his phone away and got out a cigarette turning to leave. " Okay fine, has Mr. Scratchy told you his name yet?"
Me-:"What's that got to do with anything?"
He nearly choked as he took a drag on this cigarette, he was laughing so hard. "Come on, you really going to...you're not that f***ing stupid are you?"
Me-:"You're the one who seems to have all the answers to my love life. Yes that f***ing stupid."
Walsh just pointed once again to the magazine this time to the photo of Mad Hatter. "Think about it." I shook my head totally not getting him. "You're not stupid. You know what his last character was in the independent companies. Why do you think he went with it?"
Me-:"NO!" I screamed. Screamed so loud the neighbour opened his door to see what was going on.
Walsh was laughing so hard he was doubled over red faced. "Oh god, this has years of fun written all over it." he turned towards the neighbour still laughing. "Okay, I'm late the game's going to be started before I get there. Say hi to auntie for me." he took off, leaving me standing there feeling like an ass. A total ass.
Me-:"What for? We haven't had any bets lately."
He handed me a magazine. "I bought you a wrestling magazine."
Me-:"I don't read wrestling magazines."
Walsh-:"You need to read this one." he said flipping to a page and pointing to the article. "Interview with Mad Hatter and guess what he mentions...barbed wire."
I read the paragraph. "Okay." Walsh held out his hand. "I'm not paying you seven bucks for a magazine I never asked for, specially not for one paragraph's worth."
Walsh-:"Fine, then you can buy me a really expensive coffee." I had heard this morning from mom that Walsh's sister was sick again. So, I know he's in deep distraction mode. "So anything new with your little chat buddy?"
Me-:"Actually, yes. Well, sort of. More like a case of about him. This one chick on the social site, who I also talk to on the book site, we spent like two hours last night on the topic of Male Friend #1-the kid from Mexico-. I thought she was going to confess her undying love for him, but ends up, she wanted to tell me that he's been telling her about me." my cousin laughed. "See, funny right."
Walsh-:"The kid's got a crush on you. Enjoy it."
Me-:"Easy for you to say. She showed me a bunch of chats and private emails they had, and he's got like twenty chicks after him but he keeps turning them down cause he said he's got and I quote feelings for me, end quote. That's not right. Not right man."
Walsh shrugged still laughing. "Enjoy it. Just go with it, harmless."
Me-:"Harmless you say."
Walsh-:"What's it going to hurt? Have an online fling with him."
Me-:"That's just it, I don't want an online fling. I want a real relationship, with the right guy. I want the next relationship to be the relationship."
Walsh-:"How do you know it won't be?" he shrugged again.
Me-:"Um, you of all people even say you think the right guy is going to be a Johnathan. He's not a Johnathan."
My cousin got a text from one of his buddies and answered it, then said he was off to a baseball game. He looked at me with this large grin on his face, his eyes sparkling. "Speaking of true love, has Mad Hatter..."
Me-:"For the 50,000th time, Mad Hatter is not Mr. Scratchy!"
Walsh-"...yes he is." he put his phone away and got out a cigarette turning to leave. " Okay fine, has Mr. Scratchy told you his name yet?"
Me-:"What's that got to do with anything?"
He nearly choked as he took a drag on this cigarette, he was laughing so hard. "Come on, you really going to...you're not that f***ing stupid are you?"
Me-:"You're the one who seems to have all the answers to my love life. Yes that f***ing stupid."
Walsh just pointed once again to the magazine this time to the photo of Mad Hatter. "Think about it." I shook my head totally not getting him. "You're not stupid. You know what his last character was in the independent companies. Why do you think he went with it?"
Me-:"NO!" I screamed. Screamed so loud the neighbour opened his door to see what was going on.
Walsh was laughing so hard he was doubled over red faced. "Oh god, this has years of fun written all over it." he turned towards the neighbour still laughing. "Okay, I'm late the game's going to be started before I get there. Say hi to auntie for me." he took off, leaving me standing there feeling like an ass. A total ass.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
After midnight post-it
It's moments like this I miss having someone to talk to. I got spoiled by one ex who used to email and call at all hours when he wasn't here. I miss the pillow talk I used to have with a few other exes, and the general conversations with former internet lovers (okay and the phone sex I admit)
It's these really quiet nights when no one in the building is making noise, when there is no breeze coming from the open windows, and it's too warm to do anything but talk. (or in the winter when it's too cold to do anything but snuggle)
It's nights like these that drive me a bit nuts with loneliness. It shouldn't, but it does.
That's when the real intimacy would happen. In those late night talks, when everyone's guard is down and that comfort level has been reached.
Mr. Scratchy, Herman; I have no idea if you will see this tonight, but if you do...
It's these really quiet nights when no one in the building is making noise, when there is no breeze coming from the open windows, and it's too warm to do anything but talk. (or in the winter when it's too cold to do anything but snuggle)
It's nights like these that drive me a bit nuts with loneliness. It shouldn't, but it does.
That's when the real intimacy would happen. In those late night talks, when everyone's guard is down and that comfort level has been reached.
Mr. Scratchy, Herman; I have no idea if you will see this tonight, but if you do...
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
More after supper coffees
I was leaving mom's this afternoon, when Mavis was being dropped off for her to babysit. Walsh looked like he'd been through the wringer, still dressed in his work clothes, covered in sweat.
"Two questions. One, any new progress with that chat buddy? And two, your fairy tale, feels like you're setting it up to have a big love triangle. Are you cause it would be too much like your other stuff if you do."
Me-:"No, not going to have a love triangle. There is only so much I am allowed to do given it's on the thing. And no nothing new with the chat buddy." I walked out with him as he headed to the truck, stopping long enough to light a cigarette. "Do you like the fairy tale?"
Walsh-:"Yeah. Reminds me more of the stuff you used to write back in high school and college. The paranormal stuff. You should create an uncensored version, really let yourself go. It's too constrained. I know, it's online and the rules and stuff, but still, would love to see it uncensored. The character based on Mad Hatter, favourite so far. No love triangle, please."
Me-:"I just said I wasn't going to god. No one listens to me."
He took a long drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke in my face. "What? I wasn't listening to you." he started laughing like a lunatic. "Your paranormal stories were always better then your romances. Always. Even when we were little, your ghost stories were entertaining."
Me-:"Why does this feel like a trap?"
Walsh-:"Not a trap, just saying I think you do better with horror stories. God, learn to take a compliment for what it is. Not everyone is mocking you when they say something nice you know." He tossed the filter onto the ground and got into the truck. "Oh and P.S. Ben, likes your fairy tale too."
Me-:"Ben?"
Walsh-:"That new guy at work I wanted to introduce you to. We were reading the story this morning on lunch. He thought it was funny." my cousin grinned at me like the cat that ate the canary as he started his truck and started to pull out of the parking lot.
"Two questions. One, any new progress with that chat buddy? And two, your fairy tale, feels like you're setting it up to have a big love triangle. Are you cause it would be too much like your other stuff if you do."
Me-:"No, not going to have a love triangle. There is only so much I am allowed to do given it's on the thing. And no nothing new with the chat buddy." I walked out with him as he headed to the truck, stopping long enough to light a cigarette. "Do you like the fairy tale?"
Walsh-:"Yeah. Reminds me more of the stuff you used to write back in high school and college. The paranormal stuff. You should create an uncensored version, really let yourself go. It's too constrained. I know, it's online and the rules and stuff, but still, would love to see it uncensored. The character based on Mad Hatter, favourite so far. No love triangle, please."
Me-:"I just said I wasn't going to god. No one listens to me."
He took a long drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke in my face. "What? I wasn't listening to you." he started laughing like a lunatic. "Your paranormal stories were always better then your romances. Always. Even when we were little, your ghost stories were entertaining."
Me-:"Why does this feel like a trap?"
Walsh-:"Not a trap, just saying I think you do better with horror stories. God, learn to take a compliment for what it is. Not everyone is mocking you when they say something nice you know." He tossed the filter onto the ground and got into the truck. "Oh and P.S. Ben, likes your fairy tale too."
Me-:"Ben?"
Walsh-:"That new guy at work I wanted to introduce you to. We were reading the story this morning on lunch. He thought it was funny." my cousin grinned at me like the cat that ate the canary as he started his truck and started to pull out of the parking lot.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Can't handle that
9:45pm, I get the usual message from my cousin asking if I'm anywhere near a tv broadcasting tonight's wrestling? My answer also the usual, no I'm at home have to wait till I get to mom's tomorrow. Plus, bit upset that the sports channel here is changed and it does not look like their website will carry the replay anymore. Which is how I usually watch it if I can't get to mom's. I usually catch the online replay the next day.
But that's actually not the issue on my mind tonight. I gave my cousin Walsh the link to Male Friend #1's profile on the social site. He updated his id photo.
This is the 'kid from Mexico' who has been flirting with me for the last few months. Well, not just me, he's been flirting with a lot of girls on the site, but all for nothing because he's got such low self esteem.
Then, tonight he threw me for a major loop. He posted a new photo of him in a leather jacket, his hair cut, holding a guitar. And he does not look like the little 17 year old goth kid we all thought he was. He looks like a grown up 29 year old that he's been telling us he really is.
Walsh-:"Haha! He looks familiar."
Me-:"Sort of like that one dude in high school."
Walsh-:"Yeah, sort of. Wow, he's got five new friends on his friends list just in the few minutes I was reading his profile."
Me-:"All women right?"
Walsh-:"For sure. But you're not jealous are you? I mean you've been talking to him for months now, and you haven't shown any interest so you are not allowed to now."
Me-:"No...maybe?" I informed Walsh that Male Friend #1 is also a photographer and a video game designer. Two things I'm hoping Mr. Scratchy is into. "Then there is the dog too."
Walsh-:"Dog?"
Me-:"Remember I told you like over a year ago about this dog I had a dream about."
Walsh-:"No. But continue."
Me-:"I had this dream about a guy with a dog, only I couldn't see the guy's face, but I saw the dog in perfect detail. The dog, he showed a photo of it the other day on his Flicker, the dog is the exact type from my dream."
Walsh-:"So, he likes you? He's the one who was all hurt cause he thought you were rejecting him before right?"
I started laughing. Like this weird fit of nervous laughter that came over me for no real reason.
Me-:"He likes wrestling, that's how we started chatting to begin with, loves vampire movies, and now all this."
Walsh-:"But you're not starting to think he's Mr. Scratchy?"
Me-:"No. Mr. Scratchy is a wrestler. Or at lest in the business. Company #1, I'm sure of that much. Plus the whole Johnathan thing...he's not a Johnathan. But there is the fact that he's the height I prefer, hair and eye colour too."
Walsh-:"Uh huh. You're so screwed."
But that's actually not the issue on my mind tonight. I gave my cousin Walsh the link to Male Friend #1's profile on the social site. He updated his id photo.
This is the 'kid from Mexico' who has been flirting with me for the last few months. Well, not just me, he's been flirting with a lot of girls on the site, but all for nothing because he's got such low self esteem.
Then, tonight he threw me for a major loop. He posted a new photo of him in a leather jacket, his hair cut, holding a guitar. And he does not look like the little 17 year old goth kid we all thought he was. He looks like a grown up 29 year old that he's been telling us he really is.
Walsh-:"Haha! He looks familiar."
Me-:"Sort of like that one dude in high school."
Walsh-:"Yeah, sort of. Wow, he's got five new friends on his friends list just in the few minutes I was reading his profile."
Me-:"All women right?"
Walsh-:"For sure. But you're not jealous are you? I mean you've been talking to him for months now, and you haven't shown any interest so you are not allowed to now."
Me-:"No...maybe?" I informed Walsh that Male Friend #1 is also a photographer and a video game designer. Two things I'm hoping Mr. Scratchy is into. "Then there is the dog too."
Walsh-:"Dog?"
Me-:"Remember I told you like over a year ago about this dog I had a dream about."
Walsh-:"No. But continue."
Me-:"I had this dream about a guy with a dog, only I couldn't see the guy's face, but I saw the dog in perfect detail. The dog, he showed a photo of it the other day on his Flicker, the dog is the exact type from my dream."
Walsh-:"So, he likes you? He's the one who was all hurt cause he thought you were rejecting him before right?"
I started laughing. Like this weird fit of nervous laughter that came over me for no real reason.
Me-:"He likes wrestling, that's how we started chatting to begin with, loves vampire movies, and now all this."
Walsh-:"But you're not starting to think he's Mr. Scratchy?"
Me-:"No. Mr. Scratchy is a wrestler. Or at lest in the business. Company #1, I'm sure of that much. Plus the whole Johnathan thing...he's not a Johnathan. But there is the fact that he's the height I prefer, hair and eye colour too."
Walsh-:"Uh huh. You're so screwed."
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