What's he thinking?

Boredom can lead to all kinds of crazy talk.  So can a few beers.
Radar was sitting on the bus bench with one of his buddies when I was coming home today.  I shall politely say that both boys were more then a little bit drunk still from their end of school party that seems to be a week long event around this city. Let me also say, they are lucky no one else decided to sniff the contents of their cola bottles.  Gotta love the JackDaniels.

As always, talk of work, how crappy this city is, who's shagging who that they wish was shagging them, and sports seemed to be on the to-do list of topics.  Radar mentioned my being a writer.  Actually, that's how he introduced me, as a writer.  Which, is the first time anyone has ever done that. Ever.  That sort of threw me for a bit of a loop, specially considering how I haven't been doing much of it in the last few months. Then he asked me how my blog was.  Which lead to this question :

Radar-: You know why he reads you? {meaning The Celebrity}

Me-: "Because I talk about him? Just a shot in the dark."

Radar-: "What? No. I mean, why he really reads your stuff?" {he was blushing}

Me-: "Because I talk about him and his best friend? And wants to make sure I make him look good with the photos?"

Radar's buddy was standing there with a dazed look on his face as he finished off his bottle. Radar giggled searching for his lighter that he concluded he must have lost at the party.

Radar-: "Woman! I'm saying, he reads you to make sure you're still single."

Me-: "I know. He's digging the dailiness of my singleton misery. He gets off on the knowledge that I'm pathetic."

Radar's Buddy-: "Who gets off on your wha?"

Me-: "The Celebrity and The Other Guy. Maybe a few of their co-workers little fuzzy on the numbers." {my sarcasm was lost on Radar's Buddy as he has no idea who we were talking about and he was drunk} "humm, The Other Guy. I wonder how he's doing with his injury?"

Radar-: "We were reading some stuff we saw in this magazine at Jake's place and I thought of you. Thought about something you said last time about how long he's been reading you and said about how he's had more then enough chances to get ahold of you and how...how... you said that, that you haven't heard for like what a year or something about him being in a relationship cause that's like a long time... shit wheres my keys, don't put that into the blog okay...."

Me-: "Just how long have you been drinking? Did you take anything of the mushroom variety in the last few hours?"

Radar's Buddy-: "You lost your keys? F**k! How we going to get in?"

Radar-: "I'll crawl in a window if I have to. Woman. Listen, I've figured it out. You're not mad at me cause I keep calling you Woman are you? Cause the last time I said it to I think it was Sarah she hit me with her purse. But yeah, you know why he's reading you?"

I was laughing by this time.

Me-: "We just covered that."

Radar-: "Yeah we did and it's still the same. To make sure...."

Me-: "He's waiting for the big release party. To be my cover model. Well, that's actually more The Other Guy."

Radar-: "...make sure... what?"

Me-: "My novel. He's very aware that he and The Other Guy are the inspiration for my two leads in my novel and is waiting to hear me say I've got it finished so they can come to the book launch."  {I was laughing to the point of loosing my breath as both Radar and his friend were beyond comprehension and I feel sorry for how they're going to feel in a few hours when they do sober up}

Radar-: "He's hard for you and I don't know why he's not...shit I think I lost my cell phone too... can I use yours to call Jake and see if my stuff is there..." {his buddy gave him his phone} "yeah and I think, I think that he's...he's ..."

Radar's Buddy-: "You're having a book party? Can I come if I buy your book?"

Me-: "Not finished it yet, but if I ever get that far, sure you can come to it. It will be great. I swear."

Radar was getting a bit on the frustrated side that we were not really paying attention to him, and given this is my favourite topic; normally I would be hanging off his every word but today I just was sort of fed up myself.

Radar-: "I think that he's shy to tell you the truth. I think that he's...that he's you know, shy about you."

Me-: "That's your story and you're sticking to it Eh? I think a bunch of things on the topic personally. Only he knows what the right theory is. Okay guys, I have to bail because you're making me depressed even though I'm laughing so much. I need to get this on the blog before I forget it all."

Radar-: "Have you put up any pictures on that thing yet? Make me look hot." {he was giggling again}

Me-: "That will take a whole lot of ketchup. Maybe salsa."

I laughed pretty much the whole way home.