Thursday, December 1, 2011

When frenemies are all you have

Ever watch a movie and end up getting a light bulb moment?
Well, for me it's one of those days.  Few months ago, I was in line at the store and picked up the movie Something Borrowed.  It was the release day for it and a total spur of the moment purchase.  I've barely watched it once the day of with mother. 
Today, while looking for something else completely in my mess of DVDs,  I came across it and decided to watch it.  Now I'm the type of person that likes all the extra stuff on DVDs.  As I was watching the deleted scenes, I thought right off about some of the "best friends"  I've had over the years who were like more like frenemies.

In the movie, Rachel is in love with Dex, her best friend from law school who is now engaged to her best friend Darcy whom she's known her whole life. After a drunken one night stand between Dex and Rachel, truths and jealousy blurs the lines in the lives of everyone. As the story unfolds you learn that Darcy is the classic frenemy.
There is a scene in the film where Rachel admits that she's been unable to gauge when a man is interested in her because of something that Darcy had done when they were 12.

This got me thinking about a few incidents that happened to me over the years with my "friends" and their involvement in my relationships.  There have been too many incidents to list {from one "friend" in high school who told everyone my 12th grade boyfriend was an actor she'd hired to pretend was my boyfriend, to a former friend who found a way to insult my every move.} Like many out there, I took the advice of my friends at the time and now I have to wonder if they were giving me advice because they thought they were helping or if they were just under minding me for their own reasons?

This is also the reason I no longer desire female friends. 

What is it about us as a society that some people feel the need to undermine the happiness of others in such a way as to steal boyfriends/jobs or to keep braking down the spirit of someone they say is their friend?

And why does it seem to happen more to women then men?  Or at lest, if it's happening on a regular basis with men they don't seem to be talking about it.

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