Mitch-: "You do not act like a single person."
Me-: "I don't? Okay good to know."
Mitch-: "Really. You have this air about you that is very stand offish. Like a woman who is already spoken for. That's why he hasn't asked you out. I heard him talking to The Drama Queen about you, so I'm fairly sure he's interested in you."
This was the conversation I was having with Mitch, when I went to return some dvds. I had been asking about a new release, when he made the comment about me spending the night home alone and why wasn't I out on a hot date? Which led to the ever so humbling and humiliating answer of me being totally single for way too long. That's when he made his comment about Zane.
The only "dates" I've had lined up in the recent while has been coffee meetings with the Musician, which by the way, he's cancelled on me a few times because he's had actual real live better offers. You know, it's one thing to have a guy stand you up, but it's very much another to have your buddies blow you off.
We'd gotten on the topic of Zane because he had been dropping off a dvd himself as I entered the building. And once again, he spoke to Mitch but brushed past me without a word smacking into my shoulder.
I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it a billion times still, but no high school is never over is it?
Mitch-: "Just ask Zane out if you want to date him. Let him know you're up for grabs."
Me-: "Up for grabs? What am I, a prize or something? You make me sound like I'm a job position or something."
Mitch-: "Isn't dealing with a woman a bit of a job?" he moved his arms in front of him "Don't hit me. Just teasing."
Me-: "I'm not going to hit you. Suplex you maybe."
Mitch-: "What's that move that one wrestler you like does, where he flips you around his neck and over?"
Me-: "What the CradleShock? or the Wastelands?"
Mitch-: "Yeah the first one. the shock one. See, I'm learning. Paying attention. But if you want to get into Zane's pants, you need to just try talking to him."
Me-: "It's not like I haven't tried talking to Zane. He literally won't. I say hi and he looks in the other direction. I walk past him and he spins around so f**cking fast on his heels and talks to whomever else is around or does what you just saw him do. Push past me hitting my shoulder." I was pointing wildly at this point talking with my hands completely worked up about Zane.
Mitch-: " Maybe he's totally got a boner for you and had to leave before you noticed."
Me-:" You did not just say that." I was laughing at this point so much I started to sound like a yelping animal.
Mitch-: "You could always show him your boobs. That I'm sure would get his attention."
Me-: "You're the second person to tell me to do that when trying to get a man's attention. One more person tells me this and I might have to actually try it. Oh hang on, I sort of did by accident. I wonder if that's why Zane won't talk to me?"
Mitch-: "How did you accidentally show him your boobs? What did he trip and fall into your chest?"
Me-: "No, I was wearing a low cut shirt and leaned over too far."
Mitch-: "Who was the other person?"
Me-: "This indie wrestler I used to be friends with about two years ago told me to try it in regards to The Other Guy. I told you about that and the blog and everything. How the whole thing with him and The Celebrity started."
Mitch-: "And did you?"
Mitch-: "Why not? I think it's marvelous advice."
Me-: "The Other Guy never tried asking?" I grabbed up my purse and started to head for the door.
Mitch-: "If I asked would you show them to me?"
Me-: "You're not The Other Guy."
Mitch- : "But you would if he asked?"
Me-: "Who wouldn't if he asked?"