You should

In season 6 of Sex and the City, episode 89, Catch-38  the question of the week is "Why are we shoulding all over ourselves?"

It's the episode where Carrie babysits Brady while Miranda and Steve go on their honeymoon, and we find out that if Carrie decides to stay in a long term relationship with Aleksandr then any chance of having children will be off the table for her.

What got me thinking about this line more then anything was a comment from Musician.  He said that our ways of looking for someone to date isn't working, that we need to stop with the internet and bars.
I realized that he's got such tunnel vision, that he's putting me in a category that I'm not even in.  As I do not go to bars and I gave up on the dating sites a year ago.

I caught myself from making a reply on the topic to him.  Lately, he's very moody because he's not in a relationship.  He's one of those guys who doesn't know how to survive on his own.

A year ago, I woke up and found myself fearful of the dating sites. Fearful of not getting any messages, fearful of getting messages from men who don't care who you are as long as you let them in, fearful of being rejected by guys who I didn't even find appealing.  So I stopped.  I took a deep breath and let myself say out loud what I was truly thinking... I'm better then this.

And I am.
It's also why this blog has gone in such a different direction then it was meant to when I started it.

I know there is a really great guy out there for me. I also know I'm not going to find him here in this city or on some dating site filled with players who have no real self esteem.   Do you ever notice, the seemingly great guys who go on those sites fill their profiles with lines like "I have no time to meet anyone because of my work"  yet they are the ones who are online on the site talking to everyone for 8 hours a day?  I noticed and tried to do the math but it just didn't add up.  You know what I mean?
Or the guys who say they are tired of the bar scene but yet every single photo is of them at the bar with a beer in hand.  That's a large red flag for me.

Back to my point about the Musician.  He seems to think that all single people are hunting in the same old places for a new relationship. Like being single is a plague marker upon your head.
Not going to say that a new relationship isn't what I am looking for, cause that would be a lie, just saying that sometimes, you have to take a step back and a deep breath and just be alone for awhile.

It's that catch-22, how can anyone else love you if you can't love you and how can you love you when you have no idea who you are as a person?

There is a line in the movie version of Naked Lunch that I have always loved.   fix the typewriter fix the man.   Mix that with another line from an old Headstones song  I'm missing the H on my typewriter keys.    And you have where I am right now.