Thursday, April 3, 2014

Put a label on it

My sister called last night, upset. She had taken the second youngest kid to his hockey game. As the game was ending, one of the other kids on the team had been talking to my nephew and commented on his parents not being there. Nephew's response was to point to my sister and say his dad had to work.  When the other boy said "Oh, so it's just you and your step-mom?" 
My nephew who's eleven, replied with "No, she's not my step-mom, she's just my dad's wife."

This is what upset my sister. And frankly, I would be in tears and angry too if it happened to me. Never mind the fact they have been together over eight years. She's pretty much been the one to raise the four kids, the last eight years, the other kids do call her mom.
When she asked him why he said that, his reply was to point out how she's his dad's wife, not his mom's. 

In the kid's mind, step-mom/step-dad strictly means a parent of the same sex. 

The comment still stung, and I can understand, given she was being referred to as "just my dad's wife." As it gives the impression of zero respect.  But, in defense of the kid, I can see how the label has become what it has. And that's a good thing.

Relationships are hard enough as it is, finding them, keeping them. How we define them is up to us.


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