Herman; as I said few weeks back, I've really strayed from the original point of these post-it notes. They were started as a way to put into the universe, a message of gratitude for that which is coming into my life but has yet to show up.
When I had first started writing these few years ago, I had been seeing so much negativity from other women I was talking to and friends with at the time. They complained about how their boyfriends/husbands never listened to them, or how they never got what they wanted from them. One friend complained how her husband bought her flowers for everything, and never got her jewelery. Another friend complained how her husband never remembered her birthday.
I pointed out to the first one that her husband thought enough of her to give her flowers for everything. And when I say everything, I mean anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, Mondays, Fridays, cause she took the cat to the vet, cause she spent three hours shoveling snow because he has a disability and can't. Always with a hand written note, or drawing. I pointed out to the second friend, that he might not have the best memory for calendar dates, but he never needed to be told twice to pick up milk on the way from work, or to drop the kids off at a play date, or to put gas in the truck, in fact, he never needed to be told those things, he just always did them.
Both those guys were paying attention. My friends just were so wrapped up in their own tunnel vision of what they expected that they missed the forest for the trees.
And of course, I pointed out to them that they were lucky enough to be married. To have found the right guys.
And Mr. Scratchy, you're wondering why the hell I'm bringing this up right now? Well, because I've let myself get tunnel vision with what I was expecting my life to look like by now. Again, I come back to the song "The Right One Comes Along" from the Nashville soundtrack, with the line "you think you know what you're looking for, till what you're looking for finds you."
And timing. Having patience and knowing that what is meant to be will be when it's meant to be. That leap of faith, believing in the idea of something as much as anything else.
I've been unable to figure you out, ironically, I feel I've gotten closer to solving the mystery. Always grateful of those barbed wire shadows.