"The guy sounds a bit crazy." Cheryl commented after reading one of the chat threads I had been in with Male Friend #2. "Like crazy crazy. Not like you're kind of crazy."
Me-:"Thanks. I think?"
Cheryl-:"I didn't mean that you're insane or anything, just open."
Me-:"Not making me feel better. But yeah, I know what you mean. The guy has issues. What is it about me that I keep attracting nutballs? Maybe you shouldn't answer that, I might not want to know."
Cheryl-:"You're open. Empathic.."
Me-:"Pathetic did you say? I know."
Cheryl-:"Empathic. Sensitive to non-physical. Most Wiccans are. This dude just seems like he's off his rocker. He keeps mentioning meds, what's he on do you know?"
Me-:"Everything from what I can tell. He says he's got depression, ADD, anxiety, sleep disorders, eating disorders, disorders on top of disorders. That's it, it's settled, I need to stop talking to crazy people."
Cheryl-:"Sounds like a plan. Hard to do in your line of work."
Me-:"My line of work? I didn't know I worked?"
Cheryl-:"Didn't you say you were a tarot reader?"
Me-:"That didn't pan out. No I'm a writer. I used to write book reviews for other writers. Been trying to get my own writing career off the ground but it's just not."
Cheryl-:"Oh, what do you write?"
Me-:"Romance. Bad ones it seems cause I can't seem to get an agent or anything. I write romance novels, stories. Fiction. Spend a lot of time living in my own head."
Cheryl-:"Sounds like this guy here does too."
Me-:"Yeah but I know the difference between what's real and pretend. I just choose to ignore it and live in denial. Should try it some time, it's a safe warm place there, full of hot men. Though even in happy denial land, I still haven't been able to get the guy."
Cheryl-:"This guy seems to be interested. He's sure talking to you a lot, seems like he wants you."
Me-:"Yeah but I don't want him. Besides, sort of avoiding guys named John if I can at the moment."
Cheryl-:"Still say you're meant to be with a Johnathan."
Me-:"Seems to be a conspiracy on that. You know, still cosmic joke aside, still my favourite name for a man."
Cheryl-:"That right there should tell you something. Have you always liked the name? Are there any men in your family named Johnathan?"
Me-:"None. Ironically. We have Thomas, Joseph, Tobi, Henry, Walsh, Patrick, Andrew, Caleb, Fredrick, Eric, Raymond, Mathew. But no, not a single Johnathan that I'm aware of."
Me-:"Tobi. We have like three Tobi, but yeah to answer your first question, yes I've always liked the name Johnathan."
Cheryl-:"There. That really tells you something."
Me-:"This is borderline absurd. Get off the Johnathan bandwagon. No more please."
Cheryl-:"How traditional is your family?"
Me-:"On a scale of 1-10, a 12."
Cheryl-:"So you're like the black sheep?"
Me-:"Grey more like it. I'm the grey sheep. I like to think of myself as traditional, just not always conventional. Why?"
Cheryl-:"The names you just listed off, Thomas, Patrick, Joseph, Henry. All very traditional bible-ish names. And the fact you would prefer the name Johnathan over something like, well I don't know; says a ton about you too."
Me-:"Yeah, I'm so screwed."