Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Evening notes.

"Why do you think you are not married?" my aunt asked me bit ago, when she stopped by to lend me a book on animal symbols. 

Me-:"Okay, that's out of nowhere."

My aunt shrugged and said that Walsh had said something, but didn't tell me what my cousin said. She just stood there in the doorway leaning against the doorframe waiting for me to answer her.  My aunt, this is Walsh's step mom, is a life coach/reiki coach. Which I've mentioned before. She's one of those people who has a knack for making visualization training work wonders. In other words, if she spends a half hour focusing on something, she manages to manifest the results within about an hour.  Now that's what I call magaick.     I can't do that.

Aunt-:"Why do you think you are not married? It's a simple question."

At this point my natural reaction would be to answer in a sarcastic way with a dirty joke or something, like saying that all the men in this town are brainwashed into thinking that they all like twinkies, or that it's because I currently look like a large whale, but that kind of thing wouldn't go over with my Aunt.  She'd just lecture me for an hour on self esteem and how I have none.

Me-:"I haven't met anyone I think is worth it?"    yes, I made the mistake of not just saying that, but saying it like a question.  Which of course I realized was also the wrong thing to say to my Aunt after I had said it.

Aunt-:"Is that the real reason? Flip that question around and ask it again."

Me-:"No one's met me who thinks I'm worth it?"   

She shook her head at me her eyes closed and let out a deep breath.

Aunt-:"That's why you're not married. You're blocking yourself with your feelings of not being worthy enough. Walsh told me that you're afraid to let yourself believe you are good enough for some wrestler. You have to think of yourself as worthy enough, and remind yourself that they are just normal people with a high profile job. And when you get it through your thick skull that you are just as good as any other woman, you will unblock yourself and the perfect man will just show up."

Me-:"Um okay."

Aunt-:"Let me hear you say it."

Me-:"Um...I'm just as good as anyone else"

My Aunt nodded and gave me this look, as if I had just made a deal with her or something. She tilted her head and opened her eyes wide, eyebrows raised and nodded again.   "Good, I'll hold you to that."  she hugged me and left.

Yeah, and I'm suppose to be the one who makes zero sense?

No comments:

Post a Comment